


Hazy Shade of Winter

by wolfelements



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha Tony Stark, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anxiety Disorder, B.A.R.F. | Binarily Augmented Retro Framing, Bucky Barnes Defies All OmegaVerse Logic, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky/Friday BFFs, DUM-E is here to save the day, Honest discussion of omega rights, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Omega Bucky Barnes, Omega Rooms, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, U is Daddy's Princess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 127,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27795550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfelements/pseuds/wolfelements
Summary: The super soldier serum had a strange quirk to it that didn’t become evident until Bucky came out of the cryo-chamber. The Winter Soldier, who Tony had viewed as the ultimate alpha from both myth and their Siberian battle, was the anomaly in a drug intended to create the perfect weapon. But unlike Steve, who morphed from a tiny hidden omega into the stubborn and obnoxious but textbook alpha of today, the serum had adapted in the Winter Soldier to allow full compliance to what Hydra wanted of him. The Winter Soldier had become the very definition of an omega.However, when Tony Stark decides to assist with his technology, the results show that Bucky Barnes is determined to abide by no standard.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 339
Kudos: 908





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once again continuing my path of OmegaVerse fics that basically spits in the face of traditional OmegaVerse social dynamics. Yay! (one is a FrostIron fic, other is a Supernatural fic that was my first OmegaVerse and naturally, can't do things the normal way I guess). 
> 
> Title is Hazy Shade of Winter by The Bangles (look it up, oddly fits).

“He doesn’t know that you’re talking to me?” Tony asked, handing DUM-E a screwdriver and watching the bot happily take it over to the shelving unit across the room and place the item in the open shelf. He ignored the questionable smoothie and picked up his cup of coffee, turning to look up at the gorgeous, if way too young, image of Princess Shuri on his big screen.

“I will not present him with an answer to his problem when there are too many complications,” Shuri replied. She looked away, clearly agitated. “Your BARF program is clearly his best bet, but there are severe issues that need to be addressed.”

“Oh, you mean outside the attempted murder and housing of fugitives,” Tony replied. The scowl the girl gave him was on the intense side, and he had to hide his smile at the clear display of her most likely recent presentation as an alpha. “I’m assuming Rogers is going to want to follow his little buddy back over here, right? Well, that’s already being arranged.”

“Yes, my brother informed us this morning,” Shuri commented, not sounding impressed. From their occasional talks since Barnes had gone under cryo, Tony had noticed she wasn’t impressed with the rogue Avengers living in her domain. “They won’t help in his recovery, hovering about like that.”

“I can’t help with that,” Tony shrugged. “The Compound isn’t really my place anymore. I don’t hold a residence there and my workshop has been partially cleared out. It’s open for new scent marking so to speak and if Rogers is still the big ol’ alpha we all hate to adore, I’m sure he’s gonna be pulling it out the moment he steps foot on the property.”

“Charmed,” Shuri drawled.

“My apologies, princess,” Tony said, giving a small bow and pausing as he straitened to pat DUM-E on his sensor and hand him the next tool to be put away.

“Right,” Shuri suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Barnes can’t be at the Compound with Rogers and all those other alphas.”

Tony slowly set down his coffee. “And where do you expect him to be?”

Shuri stared at him for a long moment, causing Tony to nearly squirm where he was standing. DUM-E bumped into his hip and he handed over a pair of needle-nose pliers, while waiting for Shuri’s bomb to drop. “I’m going to send you some information, it’s everything I can find. I’ve only been able to compare it to what Rogers and Romanoff has told me. I’m hoping you can access the more hidden SHIELD files, or even your own...family’s data to confirm my findings. If you agree, you will understand why I feel he would possibly do better to stay away from them and in a more stable environment connected to his treatment.”

“Okay,” Tony said slowly, watching as an email alert popped up with a triple encrypted file that he knew Friday was already working on unloading onto a private server. “I’ll get in touch.”

*

Tony Stark was an alpha who was no longer an alpha’s alpha. He used to play that game. He had been good at it too. Omegas had fawned over him, and he was never without the scent of one on his arm. He was not afraid to be obvious about it: Tony Stark was a whore. But then, alphas couldn’t actually be whores, so the word in life was. No, good omegas knew their places and alphas were simply meant to have one at their side regardless of why.

Good omegas were like his mother, who kept her head down at charity events and only spoke when Howard Stark gave her that nod of okay. That was the world Tony grew up understanding. 

Getting his chest ripped out and then put back together? Followed by the torture, can’t forget that, well. The cloud of aggressive alpha testosterone that had taken over him, had fueled his will to live and allowed him to gun down anything in his path to just get free? It had cleared something, like the blockade that had been there since his father explained what alphas did and what omegas were good for had been destroyed. 

Tony Stark changed, and not just into a good man. No, he changed chemically. He could now smell the different layers, the subtle differences. It suddenly led to him leaving a girl at the gala instead of taking her home, unable to handle the sour taint of uncertainty and nerves. It was why he loved and still does, though no longer romantically, Pepper. Most betas were the same way now, he could feel and smell changes, but Pepper was a solid metal, not bending to his will. She had been stability when he needed it.

He just never dug deep enough to see and smell what she was actually feeling.

Still, after all that, Tony could almost pride himself in being an expert in spotting a unique case when it came to secondary-genders. After all, he had smelt that strange taint of omega heat on Steve, like you do on an omega who was long-gone infertile, medically or simply by age. Even with a super serum and all the alpha posturing in the world, Steve couldn’t hide the omega part of him from Tony Stark.

Staring at the papers and tests before him, Tony knew he was going to need something stronger than coffee. Maybe stronger than scotch.

How had he not known, with any of his senses or instincts, that the Winter Soldier was an omega?

*

“You sure this is legit?”

“Rhodey, my Rhodey! Do you doubt my sources?” Tony asked, handing over Rhodey’s sub and grabbing the chips.

“When they live in the same building as those guys, yeah,” Rhodey replied, maneuvering his chair to the kitchen table. While Rhodey was close to being on his own two feet again, albeit with help, it was going to take months of physical therapy to get his body used to the assistance to the advanced leg braces. The wheelchair provided the needed rest between physical therapy sessions and allowed brace usage. Though Rhodey liked to joke that the chair was just so Tony didn’t have to feel short. 

“Trust me, Shuri is not a fan,” Tony replied. “You know how teenagers are, they’re gossip hounds. Remember when the school secretary was caught having dinner with the US History teacher at Peter’s school? Now, why did we need to know about that? Peter couldn’t help babbling about it. Shuri is the same way, just more... proper and polite, and she muffles her curses which is adorable. Not that Peter curses, boy’s like pristine...he’s so weird.”

“Stop adopting kids,” Rhodey ordered.

“Not the point,” Tony said, pointing his sub at the man. “If Barnes is an omega and volatile…”

“It does explain why Rogers acted the way he did,” Rhodey said. “Not entirely, he still needs to be punished, but I guess I kind of get it now.”

“I feel like I should have seen it,” Tony admitted.

“Seen what?” Rhodey snorted. “We’ve only had one properly documented super soldier serum being applied and it turned Rogers into an alpha from an omega. Even Bruce’s alternative, experimental form turned him into a weird beta/alpha hybrid, which is why we all now say no to radiation. That’s all we’ve got to go by on this. How could you have known, especially when the first time you meet the guy is in the midst of a fighting situation?”

“I should have smelt it,” Tony mumbled.

“You’re a magical fairy, but you’re not the queen,” Rhodey said in a very sweet, but very sarcastic voice.

“Nice,” Tony replied.

“I try,” Rhodey shrugged. “What’s the plan? If this is legit, I do agree, we can’t let him stay at the Compound. We have other Avengers training there, many of whom are alphas. If Barnes is even capable of a heat, or even just the hinted scent of one, they might go after him. They should be able to control themselves, but we have no way of know how strong that heat could potentially be and no way of preparing anyone there for it. Hell, even Rogers could be a danger to Barnes.”

Tony stayed silent, staring at the chip in his hand. Finally, he sighed. “The floor below mine is free. And nothing below that.”

“Tony.”

But Tony, in typical style, was already creating it in his head, reason be damned. “An omega room would be simple. Maybe a small gym, potential for a gun range if he behaves himself. More than that even if he behaves himself, definite space to adapt to his tastes. I think he will like it, I bet he’s tired of their dominant shit already. He’d rather be here--”

“Tones!” Rhodey snapped. “Listen to yourself. Just, repeat in your head the way you said all that.”

“What are you talking about?” Tony asked, tossing his sub wrapping into the trashcan. He grabbed the chips, shifted the bag around to be able to grab a few of the greasier ones, always the more salty ones. Then he paused, having thought about it in the back of his head. He had started sounding possessive. Barnes living in his domain had just simply triggered that, the man hadn’t even needed to be in the room or on the continent. That had never happened with other omegas, even Maria Hill who could kill him in a second while styling her hair. “That was nothing, I’m just lonely or bored. I need a new project.”

“Not a Barnes project,” Rhodey ordered.

“Platypus, Rhodey-bear, my love of a lifetime! Would I dare to turn Barnes into an actual walking and talking experiment just for my own possessive gratification?” Tony asked, aghast.

Rhodey narrowed his eyes, clearly thinking. “Maybe not, unless his case ends up as dire as it could be. Even Shuri isn’t sure if he’ll even go into a heat. He could be sterile, it would make sense for what Hydra wanted him for. Why have an assassin who is more slave to his hormones than their twisted mission?”

“True,” Tony said. “It’s a good idea, Rhodey, letting him stay safe here. He will have space to himself, to hide if he needs to or reach out for companionship if he feels up to it. We both know Rogers is going to be stalking around him like some alpha ape, whether he plans on making that mating move or not.”

“Fine, you’re doing this,” Rhodey said, giving in to the inevitable. There was a moment of silence between them, the final decision hanging above their heads. “Tony, there’s another question here.”

“Hmm?”

“What exactly would be Hydra’s purpose for allowing Barnes to go into heat?”

Tony felt a dead chill enter his stomach, along with a roar of protectiveness that he had to fight down since there was no one near him to protect. Tony hadn’t dug into all the Winter Soldier files, and he was very aware that even Rogers hadn’t looked past the horrific outer shell. Tony had taken one look at the first five minutes of the arm surgery and had buried the rest under layers of protective passwords that he couldn’t even remember now, and even then he had spent time vomiting before being able to do that. It was a good thing he had not known Barnes was an omega at that time, just seeing that would have triggered a rage only alphas felt in the presence of a wounded omega.

“We can’t know that’s the case, Rhodey,” Tony said, softly.

“I’ve seen complex abuse in so many places of conflict across the globe where omegas who weren’t made for combat have been turned into nothing more than…” Rhodey didn’t finish his sentence, clenching his eyes closed for a second. “My point is, Barnes defies all definitions we know of omegas and how they respond in stress environments. I don’t even know if what he went through could be put on any guide that we’re given to aid us in the field. You’re walking into this blind.”

“What do you suggest then?”

“Figure out what his treatment is going to look like, of course,” Rhodey said. “Let him decide if he wants to stay here with you. Give him a bit of control here, at least in this. They’re going to be on parole, but Barnes can be given a special circumstance for extra flexibility. He should as an omega, regardless. And you need to talk to some experts in brainwashing and heat rape, just in case.”

“But we can’t say for sure that--” Tony was quick to respond.

“But to not be prepared would be a disaster,” Rhodey pointed out.

*

Rhodey’s words were stuck in his head as he sent the email off to Shuri, outlining the plan and letting her know what would be available to Barnes state-side. He also, after three hours of pacing his workshop, both DUM-E and U following and beeping as they worried over him, had a letter from him to Barnes handwritten mailed off in the fastest method possible. He knew seeing his actually handwriting would be more believable to Barnes than an email, though it had taking multiple drafts to get onto paper.

He might regret it later.

He was going to regret what he was about to do even more. Sitting down at his desk, he let out a long breath. “Friday, open the file, you know the one.”

“The final password is still needed, Boss,” she replied.

Tony flexed his shoulders and focused on the hovering screen. “Maria. And start...start from the beginning.”

An electric saw. A scream, muffled by a rubber gag and the drugged sensation of the super-soldier serum still pulsing in Barnes’ veins, already transformed but still fresh. He probably had only completed the transformation a few hours previous. The arm of the desk chair under Tony’s hand snapped as the arm removed was simply tossed to the side like it was nothing but garbage. There was enough blood for one of the assistants to slip and nearly fall. But Tony watched, he kept watching.

He ignored the whisper in the back of his head, the frantic beating of his heart as he finally finished the video documentation of Barnes’ metal arm attachment. His eyes zoned in on the lead scientist stroking Barnes’ hair, practically cooing. Tony didn’t realize he was growling at the sight, but he was aware of the chant in his mind, yelling at him to help and protect and to keep. 

Gasping for air, Tony pulled away and stumbled from the desk, his wonderful bots scattering to give him room. It took a few minutes to be able to fully breath, to pull himself out of that overbearing alpha state. “Friday, lock it back down, I’ll continue tomorrow.”

*

“You need to think about this,” the Princess told him, narrowing her eyes in that observant way she had. “It is your choice alone, don’t let the bullies get to you.”

Bucky felt himself smiling, as he usually did when in her office. She brought it out in him, this comfortable happiness. He didn’t feel like he owed anything for it. “Thank you for...everything. And explaining my options, the others weren’t told about this were they?”

Shuri snorted, her age shining through for a moment at the sound. “No, the King and I agree that they may not be the best ones to make this decision for you. It should be yours.”

“And...and Stark…?” Bucky looked down nervously. “I remember what I did to him, of course, it seems like a fog but it was me. He can’t really be agreeing to this?”

Shuri leaned forward and slid a white envelope to him, tarnish by obvious signs of travel. Bucky was afraid to touch it, he stared at it with wide eyes. Shuri gave a little chuckle. “If you open it, you might see what Tony Stark says himself. I haven’t read it, of course, but he made a point to write to you directly. So, come on.”

Bucky stilled, the envelope in his hand, glancing around the room in a nervousness that admittedly shouldn’t have a need. Wakanda was as locked up and coveted as anywhere else. Then again, Bucky didn’t feel safe in his own room, sharing it with Steve and all. Shuri was watching him, cataloging everything that was on his face, he knew. Finally, he swallowed and looked up. “Can I...be alone to read it?”

“Yes,” Shuri said with a slow smile. “I wouldn’t want Steve Rogers reading over my shoulder, either.”

“Perceptive.”

“I try,” she said, standing and heading for the door. She paused before closing it. “Tony Stark is a bit of a contradiction, don’t get mad if he insults you before praising you. It’s kind of his style.”

Bucky turned back to the envelope, afraid for just a moment to open it. He’d been afraid of a lot of things since the freeze had thawed. Since the constant fear of capture, of a fight had left him. He felt strange in his own body. A strange that was almost familiar, but he was aware enough to know nothing was ever going to be as it was before. Blinking, Bucky shoved the thoughts away and pulled out the delicate single sheet of folded paper.

*

James Barnes / Winter Soldier / Bucky,

Not sure what you might be calling yourself these days. I suppose I should be taking this letter in a serious attitude and forgive you for killing my father and trying to kill me.

For those two things? Yeah, I forgive you. My father had other hits on him, you were just more efficient. Not to mention you have the mentality of a Stockholm POW, it’s hard to keep hating that. As for killing me? I made the first move and you were in PTSD panic mode. I honestly feel if Rogers wasn’t there to egg us on, it would have ended with us just out of breath and cursing at each other. 

Will I get over the image of you snapping my mother’s neck? Not sure, can’t say. She was...well, an omega is as an omega is as I’m told, but she was more important than him. That’s the scar that will take a while.

What is this letter for? Sure, forgiveness, but so that it can lead you to know that Shuri is serious when she says I’m offering you lodging in my Tower for the duration of your treatment, it’s not a joke. 

This is an option for you if you don’t feel being around Rogers and the others. It just might be good for you. Totally your decision. Let Shuri know, she’ll pass the message along.

Also, do I actually have to call you Bucky? Your choice, but something to think about. Don’t let everyone else decide what you identify as.

\--Tony Stark

*

All he had was a backpack of a couple shirts and jeans. There was his original get-up, just the jacket with the binding straps. Steve argued about him keeping it, but it was a comfort to know he could still go to that place. A place where everything was tight, where it was meant to be and without a chance to budge, where he was stuck with an order and knew why he stood as he did. 

Steve made it seem like he should not feel that way. The smell about him, the alpha smell around nearly everyone told him that they would never understand. Bucky was not an idiot, he knew perfectly well what his body was. He was The Asset, meant for action and death and needs. Sometimes those needs were his own, those he didn’t quite remember what happened when they deccided to set in. Any other time, he was to follow the needs of his handlers, of those chosen to control him.

Bucky blinked away his thoughts, knowing his brooding would only make Steve more frustrated and finding the fact that his mind could reside in that space so easily somewhat disturbing himelf. They were waiting for the plane, on the small landing Wakanda had for outsiders. To make Steve cranky now would not be good. Especially when Bucky knew someone was waiting for him at the Compound to take him into the city and to the Tower. 

Steve was not going to react well.

Bucky did what he did best in all lucid moments from the past decades: he kept his head down and followed orders. He grunted agreement, nodded his head, and went where he was directed. It was all his could do. The instinct in him to find someone to tell him what to do, to order him about was so strong.

A feeling that had gotten slowly stronger since he had emerged from cryo. It was starting to piss him off, an emotion that was definitely one of the few he could understand completely, anger was a basic emotion that even a child could fully comprehend. 

Bucky’s acceptance of Stark’s offer had been relayed through Shuri, who looked very proud of him. He felt lighter from her satisfied gaze, like he had done good. He had done so much wrong in the past few years - rather decades - it was nice to have something good on his record again. Steve talked on and on about how great Bucky was, but that never meant that Bucky actually felt that way. Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he felt that way at all, especially when the only examples shown to him were from before Hydra and the fall from the train.

The flight from Wakanda into America was faster than Bucky wanted, with one change over to a Stark jet, as he tried to build up the nerve to tell Steve that they would be separating. He couldn’t put it off forever. The jet landed quietly and discretely on the landing pad outside a large space that Bucky knew was the Compound. It looks like an odd mix of a college campus and an army base. Honestly, it looked like a comfortable place to live, if he was just another person trying to be an Avenger. He almost envied Steve right then.

Bucky sat in his seat, fingers twitching, as everyone began grabbing their bags. He waited until everyone else had stepped off before Bucky looked over at Steve, “Wait, we need to talk.”

“Hey, you nervous?” Steve asked, a teasing tone to his voice.

“No more than you,” Bucky automatically teased back. He cleared his throat. “I...Steve, I’m not going to be staying here with you.”

“What do you mean?” Steve set his bag down and stepped closer. Bucky fought back the urge to cringe as the other man practically towered over him from where he stayed seated, reminding himself that Steve probably didn't notice the significance of how he was blocking Bucky's view of the rest of the room. “Bucky, I know we all talk big about how horrible Tony is, but he’s not that bad. You just have to learn how to get on his good side.”

There was a tone to what Steve said that unsettled Bucky, but he pushed it away. “They’re setting me up elsewhere. For my head, the triggers and all. I need help getting them out, Stevie. We’re going to get them out. But I need to be closer to the treatment, okay?”

“They found a way?” Steve asked, looking excited over the idea. “How? Who would even be able to come up with something like--? No. No, Bucky, no.”

Bucky didn’t know if it said something about Tony Stark’s utter genius that Steve automatically assumed it was him, or if he said something about how little Steve trusted the man that the idea was shot down so fast.

“He’s just going to hurt you,” Steve insisted, taking a completely opposite stance on Tony Stark than barely five minutes ago.

Bucky went to stand, but Steve pressed a hand against his chest, keeping him in his seat. That sick feeling of needing to follow orders hit him again, and he stayed put as Steve clearly wanted. He tried to shake it off, but found he was unable to move with Steve so close. “It’s not just Stark, Steve. I’ll be seeing a therapist and doctor. Everything is going to be monitored. It’s not like I’m going to be locked away with the man.”

“Why can’t you be here?” Steve demanded.

“It’s going to be intense and...they think it might be safer for me if I’m not…” Bucky swallowed, wondering if he was going to allow himself to say the words. To put all the feelings and thoughts and knowledge of what Hydra turned him into within a simple set of words. He met Steve’s eyes, refusing to look away and ignoring the way Steve seemed to grow tenser. “I can’t be surrounded by so many alphas, Steve. I know you can smell it, don’t even dare claim you can’t. Here I won’t be able to turn the corner without running into a damn alpha. I’ll have my own floor there, my therapist and doctor are going to be betas. I’ll be safer if...if I…”

“Why?” Steve demanded again, this time with a bit more of a growl, the aggression behind the noise obvious. “I’m all the protection you should need. If you go into heat, you know I’ll take care of you, Bucky. No matter what, I always will. This was the way it was meant to be.”

A sense of dread filled Bucky as he almost wanted to tilt his head back, bare his neck to Steve’s blue gaze. Sucking in a sharp breath, he could smell the very slow build of arousal on Steve. Bucky could feel himself start to panic and quickly transferred that over into determination. He stood up, pushing Steve back in the process, eyes boring into Steve’s as he reached for his own bag. “Stand down, right now, cause that is something I don’t want from you. I didn’t want it in Brooklyn when I was an alpha and you were the omega ignoring me at every turn of your heat. I definitely don’t want it now, not when I’m not supposed to be like this.”

“It’s okay, Bucky, I understand,” Steve said, stumbling back to give him space. “But you can’t go near Tony like this, not smelling...unclaimed like that. His reputation is to use and abuse when it comes to omegas, Bucky. Just let me scent mark you, at the very least, so he knows to keep his hands off.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, standing to his full height. “I don’t need anyone’s scent to protect me, Rogers.”

“Buck, come on, you only have one arm,” Steve said, sadly. “He could take advantage.”

That was when Bucky stopped listening, storming past and clanking down the ramp with a silent rage festering inside him that he tried to ignore. He always knew, the few glimpses of awareness he had between Hydra’s control and being repeatedly rebooted, that they had changed him, made him fundamentally different. It had never been so obviously thrown in his face like this before, not that he could recall, not in a way that made him feel weak. He knows there had to of been heats in all those years, weeks of weakness that he could not remember, but what Steve just made him feel was different.

He didn’t remember any of those heats and clearly Hydra believed that him being an omega still meant he could be deadly. Steve Rogers, supposedly his best friend and someone who knew what it meant to be an omega, thought that he was weak because of what his body presented itself as. Something needed to be protected.

Bucky Barnes was an omega now, made so against his and God’s own will, and he was not weak. He never was and he never would be.


	2. Chapter 2

“You are in control. You’re smart and brilliant and devilishly handsome-” Tony paused to wink at the mirror. “-and there is no way you should be nervous about welcoming a guest into your home. It’s just the Winter Soldier. It just Rogers’ precious Bucky. It’s just a very traumatized and damaged man who needs your help.”

Tony adjusted his tie and shifted his shoulders. “This is going to go awesome.”

“Are you done?” Rhodey asked from the door, leaning against the door-jam to relieve some of the weight on the braces. Today was yet another trial day, which the physical therapist had agreed to an alternating schedule when it came to use, though Tony had a feeling Rhodey just didn’t want to show any weaknesses to Barnes by being in the wheelchair. 

“No,” Tony replied, leaning in to inspect his hair. He began adjusting a few strands, tugging them one way or the other. Finally, he saw Rhodey roll his eyes through the mirror’s reflection. Satisfied, Tony straightened up and gave a nod. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Agent Hill has already given him the rundown. From the video feed Friday has shown me, Barnes was properly terrified and in awe of her. Picking her, a strong omega who could definitely best you in a fight, to greet him was definitely one of your better ideas,” Rhodey relented, like the idea of congratulating him was the worst part of Rhodey’s day. Tony smiled happily in response.

He waited until they were in the elevator and heading for Barnes’ new floor before he replied. “He needs to see that he doesn’t have to be a push over, that omegas aren’t stuck in some box like they used to be. Or put under ice until needed, like Hydra did to him. It’s all a part of the plan to make him comfortable.”

“Right,” Rhodey said, giving him a look as they stepped out into the hallway. There was an entryway off the side leading to the living room, while the rest of the hallway extended further to a couple of so far unneeded doors. Tony fully planned on a gym or target range for Barnes when the man got more stable. He’d need something to let out the aggression the therapy was going to create. Rhodey nudged him, breaking him out of his designing ideas. “Let’s get this going, Tones.”

One of the benefits of the Tower was the many windows allowing in the light and presenting a view unparalleled anywhere else in New York. As they entered the room, it was clear Barnes was fully taken in with that view, his back to them and his only hand resting on the glass. Maria Hill walked over, an amused look on her face. “Well, he hasn’t moved from the window in ten minutes. For a supposed bad guy, he’s definitely on the docile side.”

“We don’t know how long that’s going to last,” Rhodey said.

“It’s not a trick, though,” she said with a shake of her head. “He has every motherly instinct in me screaming to get him a teddy bear. I didn’t even realize I had any motherly instincts.”

“I think the world is better off not knowing of these instincts of yours. Well, here goes nothing, then,” Tony said, taking a deep breath. He walked over, keeping his form casual, and stepped up next Barnes. He didn’t look over, just gazed out the window as well and wondered what exactly Barnes had been staring at. He felt it when Barnes jerked in shock and turned to look at him, but Tony didn’t turn his gaze from the window and tried to keep his voice light. “Oh, hey, you can see that place I tried shawarma that one time. Probably would have been better if aliens hadn’t torn half of the dining area down.”

“Umm.” 

“You know, I just realized something,” Tony said, tuning to look a baffled Barnes in the eye. “We’ve shared fists, barely shared words, and have never actually shared introductions. My name is Tony Stark, I’m pretty important around here. And you must be…?”

“Bucky?” Barnes said, tone hesitant.

“You don’t sound so sure of that, Snowflake,” Tony pointed out.

“Bucky Barnes,” the tone was still hesitant, but a bit more sure than before.

“How about you figure out what makes you more comfortable, then you come and introduce yourself when you're ready,” Tony said, keeping his tone mild, like it wasn’t a life defining thing they were talking about.

Barnes gave a shaky nod. Tony took a small step back to allow the man more space and got a good look at his newest resident. Barnes was obviously a complex one, it was evident in his presence alone. He was a larger guy, bigger than Tony for sure, but he held himself like he was trying to be small and hide in plain sight. That was hard to do with the general scruffiness of him, or with the nearly smokey blue eyes peaking up at him through a curtain of brown hair. Tony’s eyes eventually landed on, well, nothing.

There should be an arm there, a feat of WWII engineering, but instead there wasn’t anything. Just space, mocking Tony of what he had done in a fit of anger. A fit of defense, as well. Tony had taken that arm from Barnes and the man was standing right before him, not even looking upset about it. After an embarrassing length of silence, Barnes following his line of sight to the stump remaining of what used to be an arm of somewhat elegant metal (somewhat...Tony could do better). “It doesn’t hurt, if you’re worried about that. It doesn’t...I’m glad it’s gone.”

“Are you?” Tony asked, still staring into what only looked like an empty void to him. It just felt wrong to not immediately be allowed to fix it. But that was a conversation that required real trust between them.

“Stark,” Barnes said, hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if that’s what he should be calling Tony. Tony stayed silent, because he wasn’t sure himself. “I want them gone, I don’t want them in my head anymore and I don’t want them in my body anymore. If you hadn’t blasted the thing off, I would have eventually found a way to rip it out myself.”

“Glad I could help,” Tony replied, his voice almost weak despite the odd sense of pride he felt at Barnes’ words. 

“Great, now there’s two drama queens in the building,” Rhodey muttered, easily snapping Tony out of the strange direction his mind was going.

“So, here’s what’s going to happen,” Tony said, adjusting his jacket and trying to enter a more business mindset. “You’ll need a full work over by Dr. Wright, she needs to be able to determine all of your baseline stats like heart rate and so on, so we can tell if something goes wrong with the BARF treatment. You’ll also need to see a therapist and build a rapport with them so when we hit the heavy stuff, which will probably happen fast with your background, you’ll already trust them to unload all that emotional baggage. Some people are more comfortable with a man or woman therapist, do you know if you’d have a preference?”

“They’ll be a beta?” Barnes asked, face a little too composed.

“Yes,” Tony said, “Dr. Wright and both therapists are betas. I just didn’t know if you’d have a preference. Some people feel uncomfortable talking about certain topics in front of the same gender, that sort of thing.”

“I’m going to be uncomfortable regardless,” Barnes said. 

Tony gave an uneasy chuckle, because that was the statement of the week. “We’re looking to start the BARF treatment in about two months. We’ll actually be doing it in my workshop. Well, a side room that used to be storage until I was told keeping scrap metal I drunkenly found in alleyways like a creepy hoarder was inappropriate. Thank you, Pepper. We’re formatting it to work with the holographic aspect of the treatment, amongst other things.”

“You collected scrap metal?” Barnes asked, the corner of his mouth curling up slightly.

“Okay, why does everyone focus on that, huh?” Tony demanded.

“Sorry,” Barnes, mumbled, though it was very obvious that he was not sorry.

Tony was almost impressed by the subtle deviancy. “Anyway, I’m going to have you start coming to the workshop to get used to the environment. Your therapist - both options - and mine both agree that you being in my space should be made normal before we start the extra level of crazy. So, that being said, get some sleep and please take a shower soon. I don’t want my bots trying to spray you down with something.”

Barnes nodded, looking...well, honestly he just looked overwhelmed. Tony figured that was his cue to leave, before he ended up trying to help Barnes with that shower and getting settled. The knowledge that this omega was now in his territory, making him under his protection, made Tony just want to sit the guy down and cuddle with him. He looked affection starved, and if Tony could recognize that it meant it had to be pretty noticeable. With a deep breath, Tony turned and strode out of the room, Rhodey joining him at his side.

“You did good,” Rhodey informed him.

“Really, because I feel like I should be in there holding him,” Tony whispered.

“Trust me, even I got that feeling,” Rhodey admitted. “You did good.”

*

Agent Hill left him with her cell phone number and a schedule starting next week, which was actually in three days. Bucky rubbed his hand across his face, trying to fight down the nausea in his stomach as he looked around the far too big, too quiet apartment. He glanced at the clock on the wall, the setting sun through the windows, and the Stark-phone sitting next to the schedule and paperwork on the coffee table. 

He immediately thought of Steve, but was unsure if he’d want to hear from him so soon. Then again, did Bucky want to speak with him after the unpleasant parting in the jet. They had barely spoke afterward, Steve merely choosing to stare at him with a look of longing that made Bucky’s spine itch from how uncomfortable it made him. 

No, he wasn’t ready to talk to Steve.

Instead, Bucky slowly walked down the left hall. He passed one door that was open to a bedroom that was larger than most of the places he recalled hiding out in through the various years. He made for his destination and slipped into the bathroom, the lights turning on automatically. He had to blink at the brightness before he spotted himself in the mirror. Bucky really did look on the dirty side. He had made the regular attempts to shower in Wakanda, but with the stress of the last week or so he had sadly let some things go in order to keep his defenses strong. 

It was hard to protect yourself when you were naked and covered in soap. 

Bucky never stopped to think about what he was trying to protect himself from, even then.

Now, in Tony Stark’s home and territory, Bucky didn’t feel that urge to defend himself. Stark hadn’t done anything to indicate he wanted anything more from Bucky than what he presented. Rhodey, despite being a stern alpha and strong despite his obvious disability, clearly had no intention of taking advantage. Agent Hill’s way of talking, her ease in joking with them...they weren’t the type to just take advantage. Agent Hill’s scent never once turned sour in their presence. Bucky instinctively felt safe.

He didn’t know what to do with that.

He had his shirt and pants off before he slid the glass door to the side and realized there was a few things about the future he wasn’t sure about. There were no knobs below the shower head, just what looked like a digital panel. He touched it, but nothing lit up.

“Hello, Mister Barnes,” a soft, lilting voice greeted. Bucky jerked, head turned toward the ceiling. “I’m afraid in all of their excitement, Boss and the others forgot to introduce me. My name is Friday and I’m Boss’ artificial intelligence. I am directly integrated into the building.”

“You’re an AI?” Bucky asked, an age-old excitement rushing through him from before the fall and Hydra. “You sound more advanced than anything I’ve ever heard of.”

“Thank you, as the Boss says, flattery can get you everywhere-” Friday paused as Bucky made a coughing-laughter sound, the result of trying to hide it in from respect. “-Now, would you like me to help you learn the shower protocols?”

Friday quickly showed Bucky how to use the shower, insisting he could contact her for any help regardless of the time or day. Bucky found himself washed and staring at the mirror, towel around his waist due to forgetting to grab any other clothes. He scratched at the almost beard he was growing, knowing it was about to hit its thickest growth unless he did something about it. 

“There are safety razors in the right-hand drawer, Mister Barnes,” Friday informed him. “If needed, there is also shaving cream below the sink.”

“Thank you, Miss Friday,” Bucky said, the polite designation coming natural now that he was feeling comfortable and could tell she meant no harm to him. 

“You are very welcome.”

Bucky was half-way through shaving under his chin, struggling with the limitations of the modern day safety razor, when a thought occurred to him. “Miss Friday?”

“Yes?”

“Do you have...cameras in here?” Bucky asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

“No, the Boss feels the bathroom is not the place to make movies-” Bucky couldn’t help his snort at that. “-I do, however, have audio and heat sensors to help indicate if someone is present and if there is an emergency so that I may assist. Most, however, do not speak to me while in the bathroom.”

“I’m sorry, should I stop?”

“I do not have an opinion either way,” Friday informed him. “I am, however, enjoying your communication and hope to continue it in any format you find more comfortable.”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile. It was an AI, true, but it was almost like making his first friend outside of Steve. It was strange and honestly made no sense, but it did feel like a type of rebellion from the hold on him he’d felt since Steve had found him. Steve had grabbed a hold of him and done his best to never let go. Bucky had never had a chance to say otherwise. But speaking to Friday was his choice and while it was probably in her programming, he felt like she was enjoying speaking to him too. “I think I’ll enjoy talking to you, Miss Friday.”

*

Tony paced his workshop for the first couple hours after Rhodey left him for the afternoon. The bots avoided him for a while, letting him get the agitated level of nerves from his system before they began following him. U, being the more playful of the two, seeming to mostly view it as a game of who got from one end to the other faster. DUM-E was more diligent, following Tony at a steady pace, beeping like he was giving advice.

Finally, Tony slumped down in a chair and watched as DUM-E sped off to the blender. With a careful eye, he saw there was no motor oil near the table, so he’d probably drink it this time. He had to give the little guy encouragement to try again, after all. 

He turned to the hologram of his computer screen and the Hydra files he had been working his way through. Tony didn’t think he could handle watching Barnes scream from being beat and electrocuted, or forced to fight like a pit bull in a dog fight. He was only in the early training of the Winter Soldier, trying to find some context, so he would know what exactly he was getting into. He would be standing right next to Barnes when the holographic set the scene. Tony planned to be right there to help him.

He couldn’t be running off-screen to vomit or cry. No, he had to be the stronger one. Tony had gone through the BARF program, though granted because of less violent reasons. He knew how real it felt, and he knew Barnes was going to need a clear-headed alpha present. One that wasn’t going to get over protective and shut the entire process down, not when it could help Bucky become his own person again. Because despite what Bucky had done, Tony had seen enough to make up his own mind about the man.

So Tony had to know as much as he could. He had to desensitize himself. He couldn’t go crazy alpha on someone like Bucky Barnes, who didn’t deserve it. He didn’t…

Tony dropped his head down onto his desk, the image of Barnes’ face stuck in his head. Unsure, almost sensitive. Stereotypical omega, awaiting instruction. Tony had to remind himself that this was a defense, a scared layer that even Barnes didn’t know what to do with. He had to remember that.

“Friday?”

“Yes, Boss?” she asked.

“How is our newest resident?” he asked, accepting the smoothie DUM-E brought him. He gave it a sniff, then shrugged and took a sip. Not bad. DUM-E gave a happy sound when Tony pet his sensor. He watched the bot twirl away, beeping at U like a big brother giving instruction and bragging. 

“He had trouble with the shower, but I have instructed him on it and the method of the lighting as well,” Friday informed him. “Boss, he...he seems very lonely. He is avoiding the phone you provided him.”

“He hasn’t checked in with Rogers?” Tony asked, shocked.

“No, Boss,” Friday replied. “I get the idea that he does not feel safe contacting anyone. He does, however, seem to feel safe here.”

A warmth spread through Tony at those words. “Thanks, Fri. Let me know if he needs anything.”

“He wishes to keep communication with me. May I progress further?”

“Give him whatever he needs that you feel will help, baby girl,” Tony replied. “Let me know if he needs anything, okay?”

“Yes, Boss.”

Tony felt like he could breathe again. Thank God for his AI’s. He even turned and gave DUM-E, who had rushed over at the indication of affection, a hug. “You all are so good, thank you.”

With that lifting his spirits, he turned to the computer and manually typed in the passwords, ending with his mother’s first name. He stared at the files there and finally clicked on the next one. He physically flinched as it started, immediately on the face of a bruised and battered Bucky Barnes held down by enough bindings to hold a normal man, but not enough for Barnes today. No, this was the image of a Barnes that had yet to learn his strength and was trying to keep his mind intact.

There was a harsh voice, barking orders. Barnes merely glared, baring blood stained teeth in a grin as he made no move to obey. And that’s when the next round of electric therapy happened. The next round of ‘testing’ of course was part of the long stretch of tests to see how far the super-soldier serum had changed their captive. Yet another film to tell the tales of how demonic Hydra was in their torture, creating a repetition of brutal actions simply to see the destruction it caused.

And yet, at the very end, Bucky Barnes cursed them out using a good old English classic. Like an alpha, like someone you wouldn’t want to mess with on any given day.

Tony felt sick from the images. And maybe even sicker yet depending on who you asked, was the fact that he was turned on by the fact that Bucky Barnes, bound down, grinned while telling a bunch of Nazi’s to go fuck themselves. Tony wasn’t even sure what to think of that.

*

Bucky woke up on his second day feeling refreshed and ready to move. The problem was he didn’t know what to do with the energy. He had an appointment later in the day to meet with the doctor, something he was apprehensive about to say the least, but until then he just wanted to run. Thankfully, Stark had provided him with an entire floor, most of which was completely empty. 

He ran as far as he could, cataloging the entryways and the windows. He spent the run analyzing his new space, taking in where he was allowed and where he wasn’t. Stark had actually given him full reign of his own floor, despite most of it being empty rooms. 

Then he stumbled upon a room with soft floors and walls. There were pillows and blankets stacked high to one side. Careful containers filled with simple provisions of food that could sustain someone for a decent length of time. And a constant supply of fresh water feeding into a simple fountain to be drank from directly or by filling a cup. 

Confused, Bucky turned his head upward. “Miss Friday, what is this room for?”

“Mister Barnes, your file indicates you are an omega,” Friday replied, going quiet when Bucky flinched. 

“Yes...but, I don’t understand, what is this room?” he asked.

“This is an omega room. Boss had it made specifically for you, in case it was needed,” she explained. 

“What’s an omega room?” he asked, feeling ignorant for the first time. This was something never told explained to him, never provided to him. AI’s were explained, phones, and even the internet he knew how to navigate. But no one, even Steve when he knew what Bucky had become, had never mentioned this.

“An omega room is where an omega goes when they are in heat. It is to provide them with all they will need and allow them to lock the door to keep out an alpha who may try to enter and mate with them against the omega’s will. It’s to give the omega full control as well as comfort for their heat,” Friday said. “Boss was not sure by your file if you would need one, but felt it would be best to have one for you regardless.”

“And if I...if I go into heat and come in here?” Bucky asked, his entire body shaking. This was almost too much to take in.

“No one, especially an alpha, would be allowed inside unless you allowed it,” Friday replied. “I am the only one, besides you, who can override the locks and I will only do that under your direction or an emergency.”

“He did this for me?” Bucky reached out and touched one of the blankets, the softness feeling too much for his fingertips. “Without thinking he’d be here?”

“Boss wanted me to tell you, upon knowing of this room, that this is only yours. You can do with it as you wish. He has no ownership to this room. He may be the alpha of this Tower, Mister Barnes, but you are the only one who has any say in who may enter this room,” Friday told him. 

“I…” Bucky stepped back and headed for the door. “I need to lay down, Miss Friday.”

“Of course,” Friday replied. “I will make sure to wake you up for your doctor’s appointment.”

“Thank you.” Bucky replied, moving to his bedroom as fast as he could. He’d been aware of being an omega and hadn’t tried too hard to hide it. Steve had made sure to make him know that Steve was aware of it in the creepiest way possible, but now... Tony Stark had seen it, he had seen it and simply worked like it was normal. The man had just given him exactly what he needed like it was the most natural thing in the world without any pressure to return the gesture.

Bucky made it to his room and curled up under the most lush sheets he’d ever felt in his life. He tried to wrap his mind around everything. But it was pointless, new waters were just that. He was in a world of the unknown, one he hated but also was beginning to see benefits to.

Tony Stark. The man who had been practically demonized by Steve and the others was treating him like a regular human being. Omegas from Bucky’s time were barely human. Steve had been the little punk ready to fight anyone for a reason. He had to be to hide the fact that he was an omega. Bucky had never been bothered by it. He had been determined to be Steve’s friend regardless, and not because he wanted to follow his knot right into Steve’s heat.

No, he just liked Steve. Sadly, Steve didn’t stop to think about putting the same boundary up the moment the tables were turned.

Bucky rolled over, drawing the blankets over his head to block out all the light. He wasn’t being fair to Steve. They had been separated for so long and Bucky suddenly smelling like an omega must have been a shock to Steve’s system. It wasn’t like Steve had forced himself on him. 

That didn’t explain the sense of dread Bucky felt about seeing him again, like his instincts were telling him to stay away.

To stay close to Stark. Who had barely come near him, hadn’t even sniffed the air around him, and yet was providing for his every need. A part of Bucky, the Soldier inside his mind, was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And eventually it would, Bucky wasn’t naive. Still, that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy this part while it lasted, right? 

Bucky peeked his head out of what apparently had turned into a nest. “Miss Friday?”

“Yes?”

“Could you...tell me about Stark?” Bucky cleared his throat. “I mean, I only really heard vague newscasts and what Steve and the others had to say about him. I feel like I should know more, have more intel.”

“Very well, what sort of information would you like to know?” Friday asked. “Narrowing it down would assist me.”

Bucky shifted until he was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Tell me about how he became Iron Man.”

“Very well, but it may upset you,” Friday warned.

“I think I can handle it,” Bucky replied with a smile.

*

“Boss?” Friday’s voice interrupted Tony from viewing the last training video. Which was a good thing, as they had all been the same excuses to document the torture and slow killing of the real Bucky Barnes. The sight was sickening and brought to question whether being an alpha could easily be ripped away with violent conditioning.

“Yeah, Fri?” Tony replied, shutting down all the files, happily removing them from his view.

“Mister Barnes is suffering from a panic attack,” she informed him, tone calm but obviously on the nervous side. “I was telling him a story and it appears he reacted to it wrongly. I cannot seem to pull him from his state.”

Tony was up and moving toward the elevator before he registered he was doing so. “Story? What story could you possibly be telling the Winter Soldier that could cause a panic attack?”

The door to the elevator closed before Friday’s sheepish voice replied, “He asked about how you became Iron Man.”

“Why would that freak him out?” Tony asked, stepping out of the elevator and rushing down the hall to Bucky’s room.

“He seemed to relate your surgery in the cave to what Rogers did to you in Siberia, Boss.”

Tony came to a stop in the hallway, a rush of complex emotions hitting him all at once. Bucky Barnes was in that room having a meltdown because of the pain Tony had gone through. Tony sucked in a sharp breath, reaching up to press his palm against where the reactor used to be, replaced now with even more scars from the reconstructive surgery after Steve Rogers’ shield broke through the Iron Man armor. 

He took a moment to calm himself before entering the room. Bucky - and he was now Bucky, there was no way he could reference him as Barnes when he was so vulnerable - was on the other side of the bed, like he had tried to stand but had could only collapse to his knees. He had his hands digging into the carpet while his breathing came in short gasps. 

“Hey, Snowflake?” Tony asked, keeping his voice soft. He tried to emit a calming alpha scent, but he had never been good at control with that sort of thing on a whim. Besides, there was no guarantee it would work on Barnes. “Friday tells me you got a little upset hearing about my nasty vacation in Afghanistan.”

Bucky made a choking sound, like he was trying to laugh and gasp at the same time.

“Hey, hey, there’s no reason to be upset. I’m fine,” Tony told him. He walked around and drop to his knees in front of Bucky. The man in question fell back into a sitting position, hugging his knees with his arm and watching Tony warily, breathing slowing but still a little too fast. “I’m not going to lie, it was bad. And it got worse, but it helped me build the suit. And I became, let’s face it, the most awesome superhero of them all.”

“Steve-” Bucky drew in a deep breath. “Steve-he-he-”

Going by instinct, Tony reached out and rested his hand on Bucky’s forearm. It seemed to calm Bucky immediately. “Snowflake, I know what he did. Mostly because I was there. The thing is? I survived that too. This is about Steve, isn’t it?”

Bucky shook his head, then nodded, clearly confused.

“Did he do something? I mean, he often does,” Tony snorted, feeling like he should have suspected Steve Rogers to have done something. “But did he do something to you? Look I know it’s awkward, but if it’s leading you to have panic attacks-”

“I don’t know why I connected it,” Bucky admitted, voice raw. “In Siberia, he violated you.”

Tony knew he could jump to his own defense, claim it wasn’t really like that. Be the strong man he was supposed to be. “You could say that. I had gotten the reactor out of my chest over a year or so before that, but when it comes to a reconstructed sternum...well. And my suits are kind of my children, or so everyone says. He just bulldozed right through it, like paper, like I didn’t matter.”

“It was nothing like that,” Bucky whispered, “but I can’t get it out of my head. I told him I was coming here, and he just stood over me and said that I couldn’t go. Me going into heat came up, and he said he’d take care of me. I actually...I don’t know why it reminded me...it makes no sense.”

Tony had to close his eyes and count back from ten, because while Bucky didn’t understand Tony fully did. Steve Rogers had, whether he realized it or not, backed an omega in a corner and basically told them they had no choice in the matter on the person they would be spending the most vulnerable time of their life with. It was behavior that wasn’t acceptable today and something Tony would never allow anywhere he deemed his territory. 

“Hey, Snowflake?” Tony said softly. Bucky looked up and Tony fought down a smile at the man responding to his silly nickname. “No one gets to choose what you feel is harassment. To me, it sounded like he was basically telling you what was going to happen, not what was an option for what was going to happen. It’s okay to feel violated about that, okay? What Rogers did to me isn’t exactly like that, but he did violate my trust and proceeded to inflict even worse pain for only the reason to get me to do what he wanted. I can see how that would remind you of him trying to manipulate you.”

“It’s because of the omega thing,” Bucky mumbled, flinching slightly.

“Yeah, well, I know some pretty badass omegas who can definitely kick my ass,” Tony said. “I wouldn’t dare assume with them what Rogers assumed with you. He clearly wasn’t thinking right.”

“I think I know that.”

Tony smiled, feeling like they were getting somewhere. It was, of course, in no way that easy, but it still felt like a good step. “You saw the omega room?”

A red flush hit Bucky’s newly shaved face, making him look even younger. “Yes. Miss Friday explained it to me.”

“Okay, good,” Tony nodded. “Look, I want you to feel comfortable here. I will never insist that I’ll take care of you during a heat. If you are able to go into heat, you get to choose if someone is with you and you get to choose how many pillows you order online. Drown yourself in them, just make sure you can breathe in there, okay?”

The joke had it’s intended effect, making Bucky chuckle. “Stark...thank you. And I’m sorry.”

“Trust me, I kind of get your state of mind when all that went down a bit more,” Tony admitted. “You’re good. Just, call me Tony? I don’t like being referenced as my father.”

“Tony, then,” Bucky said, softly. “I’m going to stick with Bucky, at least right now. I don’t like living in the past, but...I feel…”

“Everything is built on a foundation, that can never change. Bucky is yours,” Tony said with a shrug. He stood, looking down at Bucky. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yes, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Tony paused, watching Bucky stand himself, making sure the man wasn’t swaying or showing any other negative signs. When he was satisfied, he reached out and gave a quick pat to Bucky’s arm. “So the doctor will be here in a couple of hours, in medical. It’s six floors down. Friday will guide you.”

“I’m going to be alone?” Bucky asked, his tone a tense sort of curious.

“I could step in and hang out with you if you want,” Tony replied, keeping his voice light, not wanting Bucky to feel pressured.

There was a moment of silence. “Could you?”

“Sure, it’s a date. A weird, not really date, but I’ll see you there,” Tony said quickly before Bucky could change his mind. 

“Not really date,” Bucky repeated.

“Those are things,” Tony replied, breaking into a grin when Bucky actually rolled his eyes at him. The gesture seemed so exasperated, like Bucky just wanted the whole scene to be over with, but it was still an amusing sight. “But seriously, I will hold your hand when they bring out the itty-bitty needles. I know how scary those are for you soldier types.”

“If you’d seen what they looked like in the forties you wouldn’t be making that joke,” Bucky told him. 

All Tony could do was laugh, because Bucky Barnes was joking with him. He’d managed to take the man from a panic attack to just this side of joking in less than half an hour. That was definitely something to celebrate in the workshop with his bots later, so no one could mock him for it. Tony watch Bucky for a second as the man sat down on the bed. “You going to be okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I think so.”

“Friday is a yell away and I’ll be at the appointment, is that okay?” Tony asked, trying to give Bucky as much control as possible.

“That’s...perfect, thank you,” Bucky said, looking up at him with wide blue eyes, all the emotions from their conversation plain as day for Tony to read.

“Yeah,” Tony said, before clearing his throat. “I’m just...gonna leave you to it. I’ll see you later.”

And like the coward, nervous kid he was? Tony rushed off to his workshop where his bots rubbed up against him and beeped in sympathy. He closed his eyes, having allowed DUM-E to drag him into his favorite game of rearranging the power tools, and tried to center himself. Handing DUM-E the nail gun, Tony sighed and hoped he wasn’t screwed. He had a habit of letting his heart fall faster than the rest of him. Up until now it had basically ended in misery. 

Bucky Barnes just might be the death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't promise chapters this quick, with COVID I'm on a weird, on/off schedule but being a manager I'm being called in on stand-by to any branch that needs me. So, here's to hoping for a steady pace, yeah?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty Bot-Heavy, because they are awesome and that's all anyone should ever say about them.

“Boss, he’s calling again,” Friday informed him as Tony hovered in the hallway of the medical ward. Bucky through the closed door next to him was getting the unpleasant, yet necessary, omega evaluation that Tony was just as relieved as Bucky had seemed to be when the doctor suggested Tony wait outside. He tried not to focus on a naked Bucky getting certain parts poked and prodded. “This will be the thirteenth call I’ve sent to voice mail today. He is getting progressively more agitated.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Tony snorted. “I can’t image Steve Rogers taking his calls being ignored well. After all, don’t we all survive upon his every word?”

“He’s threatening to find a way here, Boss,” Friday informed him after. “His language is more colorful than I remember it once being.”

“You think he’s serious? Full vocal analysis, Fri,” Tony ordered. 

“If he is able to procure transportation, I fully expect him to follow through within the next couple of days,” Friday said, in response.

“Bucky’s not ready to see him,” Tony said, letting out a frustrated sound. “Okay, Friday, call him back and schedule a call between myself and the good captain tomorrow morning, after that R&D meeting. Don’t let him give you any lip and do not allow the conversation to circle around Bucky. Otherwise, you’ll be on the phone all day and the Tower will collapse without you.”

“Understood,” she said.

Tony rubbed at his face, wishing for just one day for Steve Rogers to not try and make life worse. Sure, when they were in Wakanda you’d think Tony would have been able to avoid the toxic run off, but thanks to their reckless actions Tony had to spend most of his time putting out fires. Thankfully, both Rhodey and Pepper had been willing to lend a hand with some of it. Otherwise, Tony would be on the verge of hunting Steve Rogers down and executing him all on his own.

He found himself messing around on his phone and tapping one foot against the floor for a while before the door finally opened and the doctor poked her head out. “You can come back in.”

Bucky looked, well, adorable in his humiliating doctor’s robe. Granted, this was a Stark owned medical facility so it wasn’t the paper-thin type of covering you’d get in a regular doctor’s office. It did, however, still have the same effect of making Bucky look almost small. The man in question glanced up at him, blue eyes tracking Tony’s movement as Tony settled into the only available chair across from him.

“Doing okay there, Snowflake?” Tony asked.

“Uh, yes,” Bucky more mumbled then anything. “Doc can tell you, uh…”

Dr. Wright gave Bucky a soft smile, that mixed with her graying hair and gentle beta scent gave the indication that she just wanted to adopt Bucky as her newest grandchild. Possible knit him sweaters to match his eyes. “He is very healthy, as we all suspected from the soldier serum transformation he went under. The amputation has healed up nicely, which means if he ever wanted an implant or prosthetic we could work toward that goal. All that remains is a few indications of childhood illness that were common at that time.”

“Good, that’s very good,” Tony said, nodding. “And, uh, the...look, I don’t want to act like it’s my business. Bucky isn’t my omega, but considering the situation and the strange circumstances…”

“It’s okay, Dr. Wright. He should know, about the omega tests,” Bucky said, straightening his spine. A part of Tony wondered if the man had been so nervous that he had not fully heard Dr. Wright the first time and was going to let Tony hearing the results be an excuse to actually understand them. Tony remembered doing the same thing with Pepper when the first round of tests had said no to removing the arc reactor.

“Very well,” Dr. Wright replied. “Well, his omega status is definitely formed, but it’s clearly been stagnated. He’s told me of the random periods of being placed in cryo and it’s possible this even happened when he should have been coming into his first heat. As a result, he is able to go into heats, but he still retains many of his original alpha traits.”

“Meaning?” Tony asked, his throat going dry at the weird thoughts entering his head at such a combination. 

“I can’t say for certain,” she admitted. “Mister Barnes is an extremely unique case, but we do have some data of omegas who have had their heats manipulated with via drugs to be subdued. From what I can tell from the information and tests provided is that he will go into a heat soon, the further his body feels safe and the longer his hormones are allowed to work at a normal pace. That being said, we could be looking at a very powerful, very lengthy heat.”

Tony felt a shudder go through him, but managed to keep his face from showing it. Bucky didn’t need someone staring at him in arousal right then, definitely not from a man he barely knew.

“There is also the fact that his body managed to keep some of his alpha traits,” she continued.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, wrapping an arm around his stomach in a clear nervous gesture.

“First being,” Dr Wright paused a draw in her own breath, “you will most likely never be able to conceive without medical assistance.”

“I never thought of the possibility anyway,” Bucky admitted, turned his face away, letting his hair hide his eyes. There was some kind of hurt there. Tony had a feeling it wasn’t a wish to have children, more the idea that yet another choice had been taken away from him. A choice that in another time he would have gladly reached for.

“There is also the fact that you still have the capability to knot,” the doctor said, pausing when Tony dropped his phone in response.

“He...what?” Tony asked, sure he had heard her wrong.

Dr. Wright scowled at him for his reaction, before turning fully to Bucky. The man in question had a wide-eyed look to him, like a wild animal ready to burst free and just run away. “We can stop for a moment, if you need to digest everything.”

“No, no...go on,” Bucky whispered, eyes darting around, clearly avoiding Tony’s side of the room. 

“I can’t explain for certain, of course. Mister Barnes is the only case of his nature,” Dr. Wright said. “From his tests and the exam I did, he should be capable of achieving a knot just as an alpha would be able to. I can only imagine it would be infertile much like his omega heat would be, for his body to be producing the hormones to maintain both and be able to conceive would burn him out very quickly. Any sign of extreme tiredness, weight loss, emotional instability needs to be presented to me immediately, young man, as it could be an indicator that things are not right.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky automatically said. 

“My recommendation,” Dr. Wright continued, “is to provide his omega room with things needed in a rut room as well. We don’t know how this is going to evolve, being this unique, but it’s better to be aware and safely prepared. Sadly, any hormone treatment I would normally provide wouldn’t work with his metabolism. It would eat it up in his system before it had a chance to take effect.”

“That’s understandable,” Tony said, swallowing. “Uh, Snowflake, Friday is going to give you a website on your phone where you can order anything you think you need, okay? Don’t worry about it, she’s gonna be the only one who will see it, and she is the AI of an alpha, so don’t be afraid to bug her with questions. I mean, the crazy stuff I’ve ordered while drunk and sober, trust me, you’re safe in her capable, digital hands.”

Bucky nodded, looking both awkward and embarrassed. Which was strange to Tony, because it wasn’t his fault a bunch of Nazis decided to screw up his body to the point of creating what might as well be a new medical marvel. “Okay.”

“Mister Barnes, you have my number,” Dr. Wright said, standing. “You will call or, if you abide by the young folk around here, text me whenever there is a question or issue. I will get back to you as soon as I can, do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied.

“Good,” she nodded. “Mister Barnes, I will leave you to dress. Mister Stark, follow me.”

Tony never realized how bossy betas were until now, a part of him wanted to ask if she was related to Pepper. But he stood, giving Bucky a smile along the way, and stepped out of the room. The door shut behind him and a part of him wanted to rush back in and comfort the omega, but now he was more confused than ever about his reaction to Bucky Barnes.

He barely had a second to take in what he had heard before Dr. Wright was stepping up to his space, her face fierce. “You will not take advantage of this man, Tony Stark.”

“What? I wouldn’t-”

“You wouldn’t mean to, I am sure of that,” she agreed. Her face flushed, but she kept standing tall, barely shorter than him. “Mister Stark, please, you must understand. He may be acting meek now, but that is simply him trying to adjust and not be a threat to his environment. The moment he feels safe he is going into heat and his alpha mind is going to wake up. No one has ever dealt with an omega in heat and an alpha in rut happening at the same time, from the same body.”

“Do you think that might actually happen?” Tony asked, dread filling him. An alpha in rut will fight through an army to get to their chosen omega to mate. An omega in heat can handle themselves just find giving the proper tools, which Tony ensured Bucky had available, but to have Bucky have both happen at once was terrifying to even consider. “That could kill him.”

“Not with that serum working in his system,” she told him. “We don’t know what might happen, but worst case scenarios are what we might have to look at here. He couldn’t remember what his initial alpha rut was like, so I can’t tell you how much it may affect everything. You know more than I do how the initial sets the stage.”

Tony winced, remembering attacking Rhodey just to try to get out of his MIT dorm room. His father had told him to grab a girl and ride it out. Rhodey, thank his sensitive heart, had made sure he hadn’t hurt anyone. Hadn’t broken free and raped a poor omega just because his hormones had acted like a potent Viagra drug mixed with LSD. 

Eventual studies had shown the less omega interaction an alpha felt during their initial presenting rut, the less aggressive they were in general. Tony couldn’t say if that was true, but he’d rather stab himself than not take no for an answer. The worrisome part was that during Bucky’s time, it was a common method to simply hire an omega or even just drag one unwilling from the street to aid a presenting alpha in a rut. Tony had no idea of knowing how Bucky’s family had approached the situation.

“Is there anything you can give me?” Tony asked.

“Nothing concrete,” Dr. Wright let out a tired sigh. “I’ve worked with traumatized omegas for most of my career, working emergency medical in the army it usually happens. Bucky Barnes is calm. He has sexual trauma, Mister Stark, don’t let it fool you. But his actions are built around the idea of hiding, or keeping quiet. He’s going to fake everything he can if it means fitting in with what those around him expect, because that is survival and the only way he has survived for all these decades.”

“So what do I do?”

“Let him,” she admitted. “You can’t force him out of that shell, not now. You need to give him time. Just let him learn his space, give him all the space he needs and let him reach out. The only thing you can do.”

“I don’t like a problem I can’t solve,” Tony mumbled.

“You could eventually,” she said, shrugging. “Depends on how long you’re willing to wait for the details to fit that problem. Need data to solve stuff, so I hear. I hope you’re invested. He already trusts you.”

“I don’t know why,” Tony said in full honesty.

“You’re the first person to say something nice, then not expect more back. His defenses tell him you are safe,” she said. Her eyes bore into his. “Don’t fail him in that.”

*

Let it never be said that Tony Stark didn’t know how to pinpoint the perfect way to uplift someone’s spirits. Bucky had exited the exam room with what had to be the most broken down and uncertain expression in the world, only to have Tony immediately brighten and ask him if he wanted to meet the most awesome part of the future, hands down, excluding Friday. Bucky’s immediate response was that nothing could be better than Friday, which caused an oddly soft look to cross Tony’s face, before Friday herself had chimed in that, “I am certainly of the smarter side.”

Tony’s bright laughter as he led Bucky to the elevator caught him off guard. He was expecting some kind of response to the news the doctor had shared. Then again, Bucky was waiting for himself to have some kind of response other than complete humiliation. He didn’t know how to feel, angry or frustrated or just meek. He supposed that was the whole point, his very body was fighting to be one way or the other.

In the end, Steve and the others had no way of understanding him to begin with, and definitely no hope to understand him now. Bucky couldn’t even understand himself. 

Bucky had remained quiet as they took the elevator up to Tony’s workshop. He felt an odd tingle run up his spine, knowing full well this was Tony’s equivalent of allowing Bucky entrance into his den, practically his bedroom if Friday’s indication of how long Tony spent in here was accurate. Bucky felt himself blushing and ducked his head as he allowed Tony to lead him through elegant glass doors and into a wide space filled with metal and computers. 

There was an odd mix of high-tech simulations running on holograms and small displays around the room while power tools and half-finished mechanics lay on various surfaces. A large, comfortable through age and use, sofa was pushed against the far wall. The blanket and pillow tossed on it seemed oddly inviting and Bucky had to drag his eyes away. 

“Okay, so U is a little shy, she’s not even a big fan of Rhodey if you can believe it, and she seems to have gotten herself addicted to soldering iron panels together here lately. Friday thinks she’s trying to make herself a quilt. But I’m sure DUM-E would love to meet you,” Tony said, rubbing his hands together. 

“Umm,” Bucky said, for lack of anything better to say. 

And that’s when the metal claw peered around the far shelving unit. 

The robot that emerge was smaller than what Bucky’s image of what a proper robot was in his head. Everything about Tony Stark was big and loud, the color of the Iron Man armor being a prime example of that. But while this robot had a very solid base to it, it’s one extendable arm - which apparently included it’s head - was almost delicate. Its approach sped up once it realized it was approved by Tony and with an oddly happy sound, Bucky found his stomach being poked by a robot.

“Hi,” Bucky greeted, reaching out and patting it on it’s head, touching what looked to be a rectangular span of glass. The robot got more excited and pulled back, only to immediately zone in on where Bucky’s missing arm was, the claw tilting in obvious question. 

The robot made a distressed sound and turned to Tony for obvious answers. Tony let out an exasperated sound. “DUM-E? Meet Bucky Barnes. Calm down, brat. He lost his arm in war, okay? Remember humans get hurt when they go to war.”

DUM-E made a very clear sound of sadness, moving over to bump into Tony’s chest in what was obviously a meaningful gesture. Bucky’s mind flashed to Steve’s shield and the grinding-screech of the Iron Man’s suit protesting the impact. 

“Yeah, like that,” Tony said, patting DUM-E on the head, not noticing the fearful expression briefly appearing on Bucky’s face. “Sorry, sometimes he gets a little emotional. His memory space isn’t infinite, and his choices on what to keep aren’t exactly the wisest. He chose the importance of the movie Ghostbusters over his own birth, can you believe it? I mean, great movie, but he opted to forget seeing my beautiful face for the first time. It’s a tragedy.”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh when DUM-E gave a series of beeps, like he was actually arguing back, fully intent on defending his choices. “He might not be Friday smart, but he’s got your number.”

“Hey, he’s as smart as a fifteen-year-old can do,” Tony said with a smile.

“Fifteen?” Bucky asked, a little amazed, letting himself take a second to realize that Tony Stark was a smart as everyone said. He took a step back when DUM-E wheeled back over to him, still chattering away. Then the bot zipped off, out of sight, and a few minutes later they heard the vibrant whirring of a blender. Bucky shot Tony a confused look.

“Yeah...he probably thinks you could gain a pound or two. I blame Pepper, she was always talking him into feeding me.” Tony shrugged. “He likes the blender and pampering people with his concoctions. And don’t worry, we’ve hidden the motor oil and WD-40. He’s getting pretty good at just using what’s in his mini-fridge.”

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that.

*

The smoothie was green and had a strange sweetness to that, upon being asked, Tony replied with, “It’s stevia. It’s some kind of natural sweetener, cause apparently the crap we’ve been using causes cancer. And yes, I was sad to find out it wasn’t the same thing as sativa, too.”

Bucky let that go, not bothering to ask what Tony was talking about. Tony had long ago gone over to one work station where one of the gauntlets for his Iron Man armor was laying out. Bucky was content to accept the little bouncy ball DUM-E handed him and to toss it to the robot, who would twirl through the shop like he was dancing as he raced to catch it. Watching the happy bot chatter away to both Bucky and Tony was oddly soothing, not to mention domestic.

Tony was hunched over his gauntlet, magnifying lenses on. Bucky had managed to angle himself, so he could watch the man work. For a man that could be full of energy and what Steve had often described as twitchy, the way Tony ran his hands over the metal of the suit’s piece made Bucky, if anything, envious. He could almost feel his metal arm still attached to his body on certain days and right then he wished more than anything to feel Tony Stark open it up and just improve it.

It was long gone of course, something he’d never get back. But it was an odd dream that he would no doubt keep with him for a while, the image of Tony’s careful fingers working on delicate wiring now lodged in his brain.

Bucky turned back to DUM-E who had set the rubber ball on the side table and seemed to be mimicking Bucky’s posture, resting next to him with himself slouched. “Tired?”

DUM-E let out a long beep in response.

“Yeah, we can’t all stay that entertained,” Bucky said, gesturing toward where Tony appeared to be squinting at a tiny screw as though it held the secrets of the universe.

DUM-E reached out and grabbed the ball only to toss it in Tony’s direction. At least he gave it his all, but it did manage to bounce off the side of the desk Tony was working at. Tony blinked over at them with a scowl. “Something could have exploded, DUM-E! And you haven’t gotten your fire extinguisher rights back, mister!”

Bucky snorted. “I might be new around here, but I didn’t think screws were such a dire hazard.”

When DUM-E straightened up in agreement, Tony threw his hands up in the air. “Oh, great, so now you’re on the soldier’s side? This is, honestly, my fault. I shouldn’t have introduced the two of you. I should have known it would have been a disaster.” Tony muttered to himself, “Ganging up on me in my own workshop. And U isn’t any help at all.”

U had in fact only made a single appearance, ignoring Bucky in favor of showing off a four by four grid of iron panels she had soldered together to Tony, who Bucky had finally realized was essentially the equivalent of the bots’ father. When all Tony had done was scratch his head and say they were nice, the bot had rolled off in what could only be a huff. They had occasionally heard the distance murmur of Friday talking to the bot, but had otherwise not heard nor seen anything else from U since.

Bucky refrained from pointing out that Tony Stark had created the perfect teenage girl.

Instead, he settled in, perfectly content to be allowed in this space that he knew was sacred to Tony. There weren’t many scents lingering, the most dominant being Rhodey and Tony, himself. There was another scent, vaguely omega, but it was hardly mature enough for Bucky to feel threatened by it.

The thought made Bucky stiffen. He pet DUM-E’s sensor when the bot noticed his brief distraction and tried to push the tiny trace of panic down. He had to remind himself that Tony was just being nice and that Tony was simply doing the job required of him, making Bucky comfortable in Tony’s space so it would be easier to cure him of his triggers. Tony was only doing this to make The Winter Soldier a safer person and Bucky Barnes a little closer to a sane human being.

Bucky had to stop himself from getting attached. He had to stop himself from feeling so happy and content.

But it was too late. And while he could fool himself, he couldn’t fool everyone. Sooner or later, someone was going to notice that he looked at Tony just a little softer than he should.

*

Bucky had returned to his room a couple hours ago, leaving Tony and the bots alone. It was then Tony noticed that he was fully alone, something that normally never registered. While Bucky had been in the workshop the man had mostly spent his time with DUM-E. The occasion that Tony looked over the man was often playing ball with the bot or even just holding a one-sided conversation. It had looked, well, cozy. 

It had made Tony a little too happy at the sight. 

He really needed to get out more and meet new people. Date, like Pepper kept suggesting he do.

Rolling his eyes, Tony turned to look toward the docking corner, where he had a feeling U was still pouting. “Hey Fri?”

“Yes, Boss?” she asked. 

“Go online and get those NeoPixel strips that are soldering safe, would you? How many it would take to light up U’s station,” Tony said. “Let her solder her colorful little heart out. Oh, and anything else you can think of to help make that blanket thing as pretty as possible.”

“Sure thing, Boss,” Friday replied, sounding amused.

“And while we’re at it, get DUM-E the nerf-ball with the fin he was eyeballing the other day,” Tony added, feeling generous.

“Anything else, Boss?”

“Whatever your heart would desire, Fri,” Tony said, grinning up at one of the cameras. “Though, if I get parts for a body for you delivered to my doorstep, I will have to sit you down for the talk. Not the replicator talk, but the age of your processor talk, young lady. You’re not ready to go gallivanting around--”

“I believe I am fine,” Friday interrupted, almost sounding embarrassed. “Though I would not be opposed to my own musical database that I can manipulate for my own use and enjoyment. For Christmas, of course.”

“Of course,” Tony agreed, making a mental note to start working on that project and getting Bucky to distract Friday, so he could do so in peace. 

Tony stood, feeling a random sense of happiness coursing through him that moved beyond simply taking care of his precious bots and AI. It was somewhat disconcerting and should have immediately put him on edge. He took a moment to stretch, before walking the span of his workshop, checking for any disturbances or anything out of place that could be setting off this weirdly content and yet on guard sensation.

He finally came to a stop near where DUM-E and Bucky had been tossing the bouncy ball back and forth. There, in the air, was the soft scent of cedar mixed with spearmint. It was calming, like a soothing balm that Tony just want to cocoon himself in. It was the perfect scent for an alpha to come home to, the perfect scent to soften down the harsh edges of the alpha personality.

And then, just under that, was a sharp taste of cayenne and the nearly overwhelming scent of a harshly driven snow, like the bitter burn that hit your noise when the winds of a blizzard was in the air. 

Tony didn’t know whether to step back and bare his teeth or keep sucking in gulp after gulp of this complex combination. It was like two unique people had been spending time in this space, instead of just an oddly shy, one-armed former assassin. Who was both omega and alpha. And that had never been made more obvious than by what Tony was smelling right then. 

Tony blinked and quickly made for the elevator, desperate to get to his own floor and fully, completely ignore the erection that had appeared in the last five minutes. 

Pepper was right, he needed to get out and date more.

Storming onto his floor, Tony grabbed a glass and poured a small finger of whiskey, nowhere near the amount he used to drink. He just needed the edge taken off, he needed to be able to properly think. Closing his eyes, three sips in, Tony realized it wasn’t that he needed to start dating. He shouldn’t be bringing new smells into this part of the Tower with Bucky two floors down and potentially triggering the poor guy over any new people anyway.

No, he just needed to reinforce the actual scents that were already in the Tower. Tony needed to create a little diversity, before his noise - and more - zoned fully onto Bucky Barnes like he was the only person alive.

Tony reached for his phone and wasn’t surprised to find fifteen texts from Peter from the last hour alone. Peter had the same kind of mind Tony did and had difficulty putting simple thoughts into a tiny little text, usually finding something else to add five minutes later. Tony stared at Peter’s request to use some of Tony’s equipment to improve the canisters for his web-spray.

It’s not like he’d be using the kid, right? Peter’s scent was already in the workshop, he had noticed Bucky scenting it out earlier, so it wasn’t going to be that big of a surprise. And if Peter kept his mouth shut about being Spider-Man, then the kid wouldn’t even have to wear his mask. He’d just be that kid that won the intern prize. Not to mention, Peter had yet to fully present as omega or alpha - though Tony already suspected - so he wouldn’t even be a threat to Bucky over the man’s newly found space. Just another kid in the room, like DUM-E. 

Tony wondered why he was trying s hard to convince himself. 

“What am I doing?” Tony muttered.

“You are arranging for Mister Barnes to interact with more than just you, thus allowing you in turn to not become obsessive with your charge,” Friday explained. “Peter is, as always, a gentle and capable person who can handle the situation. You could do worse, Boss.”

“How did you get so smart?” Tony asked.

“You provided me with many tutorials during my early growth,” she provided delicately, avoiding stating outright that he had let her interact with Jarvis during her earliest stages, so that she wouldn’t hurt his feelings.

Tony turned back to his phone and shot off a text to Peter, knowing kids his age preferred that to actually answering a phone. He smiled, a little sadly, “You’re the best, baby girl.”

Friday didn’t reply, but Tony didn’t need her to in order to know she heard him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea that one of the reasons Friday was so immediately prepped and ready was because she had been in development for a while. While she hadn't much outer world exposure, and is thus young, she did get to develop in a controlled environment with Jarvis helping. That is my theory and I'm sticking to it, cause I love little sis Friday and big bro Jarvis thoughts.
> 
> ALSO REQUEST: Any who read this who pay attention to story tags, considering what is learned here do you think I should add Alpha Bucky Barnes as a tag? I like the idea of it being a surprise/weirdness, but I know tagging is something of an art and necessity with some readers. Any advice on that, appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big kudos to the Melissa's of the world, dealing with the first communication to the assholes us boss' have to then talk down or let yell at further. Honestly, as a bank manager, I have a couple of Melissa's (first part you'll understand this wackadoo ramble) at my work. I can't always rush over there to get the customer to my station or office before they say horrible stuff to them. So on behalf of managers, sorry we can't protect you from that crap, we would if we could. Well....us good ones. lol

“Okay, so-” Tony paused, pointing at the wide-eyed woman sitting at the receptionist desk in front of the doors leading to his R&D office “-Melinda?”

“Melissa, sir,” she replied, sounding subdued, like he had got it wrong before. Which was a possibility, he only came up here every four months or so when Pepper threatened to bug bomb his workshop.

“Right, I knew that!” Tony said cheerfully. “So, in about twenty minutes we’re going to get a phone call from the most obnoxious man on the planet. You may know him as Captain America. No, no, don’t get that excited look in your eyes. He’s calling because he thinks he has ownership rights to a human being just because the guy is an omega. Yeah, there we go, disappointment is the full attitude I want you to have when you answer that phone.”

Melissa was starting to look a little more than disappointed, but Tony refrained from commenting in the small attempt to keep her from getting annoyed with him and siding with Rogers. He didn’t need another receptionist plotting against him.

“Seriously, I’m going to be forced to listen to who knows how long of sanctimonious crap about how I’m mentally manipulating his little omega buddy and Rogers can take care of him. Like the guy is a pet or something,” Tony muttered, already feeling tired before the phone had even rung.

“He seems a lot more friendly on television,” Melissa commented.

"And I seem suave and devilishly handsome, but sadly not all of us can hold up to the standards we set for ourselves," Tony replied with a smile before striding into his office. He moved around his office, noticing spots with a couple layers of dust and wondered if the cleaning crew had rushed to get the office dusted this morning when they heard he was going to be in. Odds were, they had gone easy on themselves cause Tony had made that promise to Pepper numerous times and never shown.

Bless her little heart, she still kept asking.

Tony didn’t bother setting an alarm, he knew Steve Rogers well enough to know he’d call so promptly that NASA themselves could time their space station on it. Instead, he moved things around his desk and pretended he wasn’t drawing schematics for a new arm for Bucky. He had no plans to tell the man he was slowly, but surely, building him one. He wasn’t even sure if he ever would, but it would be ready in case Bucky ever decided he did want one.

Honestly, Bucky was working around with one arm pretty well. Tony was impressed.

The phone rang just on time and there was a long moment of silence as Melissa answered. It took longer than what it should have and he was starting to get a bad feeling when his desk phone rang. He quickly hit speaker.

“Sir,” Melissa said, clearly through gritted teeth, “Mister Rogers is on the line.”

“Everything okay out there?” Tony asked, wondering if he was going to have to be worried about office violence. It didn’t normally come up, but after Natasha Rushmore, well...he always suspected the worst from a receptionist.

“I’ll be fine,” Melissa almost snapped, taking in a deep breath. “Let’s just say I’m definitely on your side, and I am glad there are other alphas out there that would protect an omega from a jerk like this...sir.”

There was definitely a story there and Melissa was definitely not the omega she was talking about, her agitation screamed alpha ready to defend. “Well, patch him through. Oh and, Melissa? Take a lunch. For the rest of the day. Maybe take that omega I know you’re thinking of right now out to lunch.”

There was a chuckle. “Thank you sir, I’m sure he’d like that. And, Mister Rogers is on line one.”

Tony listened to the silence of the room for a moment, before he sighed and hit the button. “Tony Stark speaking.”

“Tony!” Roger's voice almost sounded surprised, like he was expecting a robot with Tony’s voice instead of the real person. Or another annoyed receptionist. Tony made a mental note to give that woman a raise. “How-how are you? You sound well, you look good in your interviews.”

“Multiple surgeries and hours exposed to frostbite can do wonders for you,” Tony said, keeping his voice completely serious, knowing his calm would allow Rogers to show more of his frustration than anything.

“That is not fair-” Rogers started, firing himself up for a self-righteous rant. Tony had learned to recognize the tone a good while ago. “You gave as good as you got in that fight. Besides, that’s not why I’m calling. I know that you are...helping Bucky.”

“I’m not doing much,” Tony said evasively. “I’m just providing the space and funds. That’s what I’ve always been good for right? I’m just the bank?”

Rogers was silent for a moment. “Look, Tony, we can argue over the past at another time-”

“When it’s convenient for you?” Tony asked. “Because, the way I see it, you’re wasting my time trying to get me to assist you with harassing your ex-boyfriend. That isn’t a very acceptable thing these days, Steve-O, so maybe we should just stick to the billions of dollars you owe me that you illegally used from my accounts searching for my parents murderer. Or how about we talk about the fact that Captain America left a man behind to die or any other number of things that don’t involve the James Barnes that resides in my Tower.”

“This is exactly why I’m calling, listen to how vindictive you are! He’s not safe with you!” Rogers interrupted, voice rising exactly how Tony knew it would. Steve Rogers was just too easy to goad into showing his emotions and what he was really thinking. All it took was a little talk about his past deeds for him to jump straight to his point of argument, thus making the conversation that much shorter.

“Oh?” Tony asked, settling back in his chair and reaching for his coffee. “Do tell, just how am I not safe for him?”

*

“Miss Friday?” Bucky asked, standing up from where he had been digging though the fridge, holding an odd container in his hand. 

“Yes, Mister Barnes?” Friday responded immediately.

“There’ a lot of things in here I’m not familiar with,” he admitted, eyes going from the item in his hand and the rest of the inside of the fridge. “I was going to make a sandwich, but...could you explain some of this? I was living on my own in the world for a bit before Steve found me, but I don’t remember this stuff.”

“I believe what you are holding is tofu,” Friday said. “We were uncertain of your diet and thus I chose a variety of options in case you had any sensitivities. Tofu is a very popular meat substitute and source of protein.”

“Oh, well, maybe I’ll look that one up later,” Barnes said, placing it back on the shelf. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings and was well aware that all the AIs tried to get them to be healthier - despite Tony’s insistence that he had never programmed them to think that way. “Thank you, Miss Friday.”

“Of course,” she said. “There are fruits and vegetables in the bottom drawers, as well.”

Bucky bent down and opened the drawer with the fruit, eyes skimming past a couple kiwi, some cherries, and a bundle of grapes before landing on the three plums in the back. A smile broke out across his face.

Maybe later he’d ask Tony about foods available to him now, but for some reason he always had a taste for plums. Happy, he snatched them up and made for the living room to let Friday teach him more about Tony Stark’s level of day-to-day technology, completely unaware of the conversation happening many floors below him.

*

“Let me get this straight, you think that because I have a history of bedding omegas - which even you admit hasn’t been the case since I became Iron Man - I would not be able to help myself with Bucky?” Tony asked, knowing he sounded incredulous, because that was the only way he possibly could sound.

“You’re unhealthy for him right now, and we both know it.” Rogers was officially sounding angry, and he was officially pissing Tony off. “He’s lost right now, and he doesn’t need someone preying on him.”

“Preying on him,” Tony repeated, nodding to himself. “You mean, like cornering him and telling him what he has to accept for his heat? Or not letting him make his own decisions? Maybe not even asking what he wants to begin with and just assuming.”

Rogers’ voice - and right now he no longer had a drop of the original Steve that Tony remembered, he really was just Rogers to him - went oddly soft. “I know you think you’re helping him, Tony, but he needs someone stronger for him right now.”

“Someone like you?”

“Do you have any idea what it means to be separated from someone, only to reunite with them being remade to be perfect for you? I’m the only one who can give him what he needs.” And Rogers seemed so sure of that, to the point that Tony almost believed every word. 

Tony swallowed, fighting down the boiling mixture of rage and nausea Rogers’ words triggered. “What he needs...but what about what he wants, Steve?”

“You’re too busy messing with his head for him to know, you’ve been doing it since we were in Wakanda,” Rogers snapped. “Just...Tony, please. Just let him come back to me. Okay? We can move past this, we can find you your own omega. Just let him come back to the Compound.”

“Rogers, there is something you need to understand,” Tony informed him, leaning closer to the phone as he spoke. “You better be listening, because I’m not going to repeat this to you. Bucky isn’t being held here against his will. I’m not doing anything to him other than providing him a place to stay and letting him hang out with my robots. His treatment is between him and his doctors and will never involve a domineering alpha - be it you or me. He is not your property, Steve Rogers. He belongs to himself.”

“You don’t understand, Tony, he is my omega,” Rogers said, his tone now turning back to a near pleading. “Please, just let me see him.”

“He has your number, he can call you if he wants,” Tony told him. 

“You’re obviously lying, to either him or me. You can’t do this, Tony.”

“What am I doing?” Tony asked, exasperated. “Other than getting Bucky the hell away from you? Because you’ve clearly turned into a creepy asshole.”

“Tony, you keep your hands away-”

Tony blinked at the phone for a second, then at his hand. He hadn’t made the conscious choice to hang up on Rogers, but apparently it was a move that needed to be made. He lifted shaky hands and rubbed at his face. Right then, he really wished he was the type to go to the gym and punch things, because he really needed to beat the crap out of something. 

*

Bucky was finding his favorite thing to do was still staring out the ceiling to floor windows at the view around his living room, just as it had been the first time he stepped onto the floor. He had eaten two of the three plums, ignoring Friday’s comment that she added more to the grocery list. He was from a time when you always saved the last one, no matter what it was and whether you even enjoyed it. Ensuring there was food left wasn’t a habit he was bound to break anytime soon.

“Would you like to leave the Tower today, Mister Barnes?” Friday asked.

“I...can I?” he asked, hating how his voice sounded so weak and unsure, but then he had been a fugitive/hidden assassin for longer than he could remember and a missing POW before that. He wasn’t used to being able to just roam around without there being some kind of fuss.

“You would require either the Boss or someone he believes to be trustworthy,” Friday said. “It is not against your agreement with the Accords or the United Stated government.”

Bucky tilted his head to look down at the street below, the people looking almost like ants. He cleared his throat and knew there was a blush creeping up his throat, even though it was only Friday he was speaking with. “Do you, uh, do you think Tony would want to go with me? For a walk, that is?”

“He has just left a meeting, would you like me to ask him?” Friday inquired.

“No, no, he’s at work. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“I believe he could use the good company,” she said carefully.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, looking upwards in what he figured was a good direction for her to be in.

“Needless to say, it was not a fruitful piece of conversation. He is asking permission to come visit you, how would you like me to respond?”

“He can come up here, we don’t have to...yeah, he doesn’t have to ask to visit me,” Bucky said with a shrug, thinking of all the places he could hide if he actually had to. Even with just one floor, one that was half-way complete at that, Bucky had plenty of space to manipulate to avoid spending time with someone. 

Bucky went back to watching the cars and people down below, eyes tracing one motorcycle in particular, it’s bright red and gold coloring attracting his attention. He eventually felt someone walk up behind him and peek over his shoulder, not even worried that Bucky would have a bad response to his proximity. Tony Stark either trusted too much or had no sense of self-preservation.

The more he got to know him, the more he realized this was a man that lived life with his heart right out in front of him.

“Friday said you’d like to eat out for lunch?” Tony asked. 

Bucky glanced upward, sending a slight glare, knowing she’d get the word on the tip of his tongue: traitor. Clearing his throat, he turned to Tony and tried to not stare at the suit jacket dangling in one of Tony’s hands, leaving bare the rest of the outfit. Okay, so Tony Stark was a very sexy man who was built for well-made slacks, dark red ties, and leather accented suspenders of all things. Bucky swallowed and met Tony’s eyes, ignoring the weird rush that went through him, one that he barely recognized that was warm, warm all through him-

-The man lay dead, blood on his boots. Not the man’s boots, his. A hand caressing his back, along metal, along flesh, heat pooling through his veins for no reason but because it could. “Is good, you did good.”-

-Bucky sucked in a sharp breath, the warmth quickly receding. He was still staring at Tony, who had his head tilting, a confused wrinkle between his eyes.

“Sorry, did you say something?” Bucky asked, keeping his tone polite.

“Uh, no, but did you have something in mind for food?” Tony asked. “Friday is right, as long as you have someone of basically equal strength with you? We can go wherever you’d like, and the Iron Man suit counts. Even then, they aren’t really monitoring you that closely, it’s not you they’re worried about anyway.”

“Is Steve causing trouble?” Bucky asked, wincing at the almost furious expression that flittered across Tony’s face.

“Hey, no flinching, you didn’t do anything,” Tony practically snapped. “You’ve been on your best behavior. Rogers and the others are just used to the world going a certain way and now that they have to work for everything like normal human beings...they aren’t happy. He’s also not happy you’re here.”

“How often?” Bucky asked, reaching out and rubbing his thumb against an invisible smudge on the glass, just to give himself something to do. 

“For what?”

“How often has he called?” he clarified.

Tony crossed his arms and clearly hesitated. “I’m not going to give you an exact number, but it’s enough times for me to accept a call from him this morning. I just got off the phone with him, actually.”

“So, he wanted you to give me back,” Bucky surmised, because he knew Steve well enough to know that Steve thought in terms of ownership. Granted, for the majority of their friendship, most of which being when their tables were reversed, Bucky had never thought Steve was the type to consider a human being something to be owned. Apparently, it was different when it was Captain America given the opportunity to own. “He...maybe I’m not being fair. It’s not like he outright claimed me, so I’m probably just-”

“No, he pretty much demanded I give him his omega back,” Tony said, tone holding an underlining harshness that was not directed toward Bucky. No, Tony’s anger was purely directed toward Steve Rogers.

Bucky let out a long breath through his nose, his hand clenching. “I’m not his omega.”

“Not anyone's, unless you decide to start saying it first. At least that’s the way I see it,” Tony agreed with a shrug, tension bleeding out more at Bucky’s statement than anything. “Anyway, I told him off and hung up on him. Which means I need comfort food, so how about you put on some shoes, and we go to an awesome deli shop recently rebuilt in Queens.”

“Isn’t that far?” Bucky asked, walking toward where he kicked off his boots regardless.

“Nah, I’ve got a car for a reason, Snowflake,” he said, typing on his phone. “Besides, I’ve been meaning to check in on my Iron Man protégé recently, you remember him as the Spider-Man with too much of a mouth on him in Germany.”

“To be honest, I barely remember what was happening, let alone who was there. I only have glimpses,” Bucky admitted, dropping his head. He felt horrible, knowing he had to have caused a lot of it. He wasn’t so self-absorbed to think that he was the main reason for that fight, it was clear something had been building up before him. Still, he knew he was part of it, and that part had directly led to Iron Man being left in the cold in Siberia. “I’m sorry, about-”

“Hey, water under the bridge,” Tony interjected, giving him a half-smile. “You ever get tired of getting mad at everything you see? I did, I got real tired of it. I can’t do it anymore. You were a pawn to Hydra and...and to Steve Rogers. He probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, or that he was doing it, but you were his pawn for a bit there. And I’m so tired of putting the blame on you, when I could be getting angry at the guy setting things on fire. Don’t blame the match, you know?”

“I think so,” Bucky said, nodding.

“Anyway, I went through that little self-help analysis a good long while ago, which is why I was smiling when you showed up,” Tony told him. “You’re fine, and guess what? I like you. You’re pretty cool, as the kids say.”

“Really, you’re going to play the old card with me?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tony laughed. “Okay, damn, you got me.”

*

“It’s so good,” Tony admitted, devouring yet another bite of his sandwich. He had to admit Peter had good taste and Tony was glad he had listened to the poor kid lament the blowing up of one of his favorite delis, because now Tony Stark got to enjoy this bite of heaven any time he wanted for free.

“I have to say, it’s much better than what I remember sandwiches being like in this area during my day,” Bucky admitted, freely dipping his into the brownish sauce that Tony had wrinkled his nose to the moment that Bucky had happily accepted it from the deli manager. Bucky looked out the window as he chewed, the light hitting the gray of his eyes. After a moment, Bucky swallowed and gave a small laugh, “Though, looking at New York now? I’d get lost in a second.”

“I grew up in New York and I get lost searching for my favorite coffee place,” Tony told him. “Where’s your phone? I gave you a phone, right? I’ll show you how to use the GPS and search on it. It’s the only way I find anything.”

“I left it at home,” Bucky said.

Tony sighed, though he should have suspected - while also ignoring the happy thrill of Bucky calling the Tower ‘home’. He was talking to yet another Ancient Snowflake, only this one was a lot less rage and heart-break inducing and definitely easier on the eyes. “Okay, but you have to start keeping that with you. Someone important could be trying to get a hold of you. And by important I mean me, or Friday. But mostly me.”

Bucky nodded in agreement as he squinted out the window. 

“What is more important than me talking?” Tony demanded, twisting in his seat.

“There’s some red thing swinging around out there,” Bucky said in a conversational tone, like it was something that happened every day.

Tony groaned and focused his eyes back on Bucky, who was looking at him again while taking a bite of his sandwich. “When all this is over, you are writing your memoirs and I demand it include every time you saw red things swinging around. Do you understand? Because I desperately need to know at what point that became normal.”

“Okay,” Bucky agreed, looking way too happy with life. Which Tony supposed this growing level of chaos was right up his alley. The fact that something dramatic was about to happen probably was doing strides to bring Bucky further out of his shell.

Which, of course, was when the taxi flew up into the air, only to be caught by a giant spider web next to their window. The occupant of the taxi scrambled out, crying and clearly praying as he ran off for the alleyway. A young man in red and blue landed on top of the taxi in a crouch, staring out in the distance. Tony let out a sigh and stood, making sure his wrist bands were on in case he needed to suit up. 

The spider-kid must have spotted them out of the corner of his eye, because he was suddenly waving over at them. “Hi, Mister Stark!”

“Hey,” Tony said, sending a weak wave back. He knew he had a fond look on his face, especially if Bucky’s little smile was any indication.

Then, a giant glob of what could only be slime and possibly sinew flew past Spider-Man’s head and hit the brick wall behind him, causing a slight sizzle. The spider-kid glanced back at it, then further down the street, before sending out a string of web and swinging away. Tony shuffled where he stood, watching the kid go, while Bucky looked at him with amusement. 

“Just go,” Bucky said, gesturing with his head.

“I’m fine. I’m here, with you, I’m good,” he insisted. There was a loud crash down the street that had Tony cringing. 

Bucky stood, chuckling. “Just go, you look like you’re going to pick a fight with the paper-boy if you don’t get it out of your system. Besides, I know you want to look after the guy. I’ll pack up here and meet you there. Watch you two be big heroes, does that sound good?”

“Yeah, okay,” Tony sighed. He walked toward the entryway, fighting the urge to kiss the stupid one-armed man on the cheek, and pointed back at Bucky in the process. “You’re going to make a damn good army bride, doll.”

“Go protect the kid,” Bucky snapped, though he was smiling.

*

Tony was in full gear when he landed on the nearby building of a thankfully empty parking lot. Well, empty except for Spider-Man and what looked like a man who had did the wild tango with a jellyfish while under severe radiation. Tony would have felt sorry for the guy, but the pure rage in which he was attacking Spider-Man - not to mention trying to cause structural damage with what could only be toxic spit - made Tony second guess his ability for kindness. 

He waited, though, because Spider-Man was a big boy (or so he kept saying) and Tony was not his father (despite what Peter’s texts occasionally accidentally said). But when he saw Spider-Man get grabbed by the ankle and slammed head first into a wall, well, Tony couldn’t stand back anymore. So, he swooped in and blasted the guy across the parking lot and a few inches into a solid brick wall. Spider-Man groaned, but struggled to stand like the champ he was. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to save your butt, apparently. Who the hell is this guy? Oh, never mind,” Tony growled, shooting another mini-rocket at the squid-thing as it started lumbering toward them again. “Do I need to run you through the training simulator again? Or maybe fifty more times?”

“I was doing just fine, okay?” Spider-Man whined. And really, even though it was Peter under that mask, they had made the agreement to keep his identity separate. A safety measure for all involved. So it was just easier in Tony’s head to do so as well. 

It also made it easier to know just whom he got to yell at when something exploded. 

Spider-Man sent a blaster shot of web at the squid-man-thing, temporarily immobilizing it. “I was doing fine, is all I’m saying. I didn’t mean to ruin your date.”

“My what?” Tony asked, brain stuttering to a halt.

“With Mister Winter? That was so a date,” Spider-Man sounded a little too smug. “I mean, I know he just moved in and all, so you might be making the move a little fast, but who am I to know anything about that. My first date was prom and hello! Ned thinks it’s cute.”

“Oh, Ned thinks it’s cute, huh?” Tony demanded. He saw something brown-gray moving out of the corner of his eye, but someone how Peter’s mask-covered-smugness was enough to distract him. “Explain to me why you’re gossiping about the Winter Soldier to Ned, again?”

“Ah, man, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was a secret,” Spider-Man said, looking for all the world like a scolded ten-year-old in his onesie, plus mask. 

Then Tony saw the bright glint of metal, following by that same metal moving very rapidly. Tony grabbed Spider-Man and blasted to the side just in time to see the squid-man being impaled on what looked to be the piping from one of the semi-trucks’ exhausts from part of the fight down the street. The squid-man, apparently not to be out-done by mini-rockets and spider-webs, was easily taken out by swift impalement through the chest. The pipe went straight through, sizzling goo splattering all around him.

Bucky glared up at them from where he was rotating his shoulder. “You two should not be allowed to go on missions together. It’s not sound tactics.”

“Oh my god, The Winter Soldier just saved my life,” Spider-Man whispered.

“Don’t you dare,” Tony growled, before letting Spider-Man go and retracting the Iron Man suit as he walked over to Bucky. “That was a lucky shot. And where did you come from, anyway?”

“He's going to be okay?” Bucky asked, completely ignoring Tony’s question.

Spider-Man was walking around the squid-man’s body, which was now beginning to fully turn into a runny gel. Tony could already see the depression set in, the way Peter’s body was hunching over. It was something Tony saw in himself often enough, but Peter was too young in the world, even in the world of superheros, to have the look of acceptance in death he’s witness himself. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him,” Tony said. 

“Be easy,” Bucky suggested. “I can head back to the Tower.” Tony looked back at him, opening his mouth. “I’m pretty sure a kid being traumatized is more important than finishing our lunch. He might not want to see the guy who ended it right now, either. I probably should have my phone right now…”

“I’ll get a ride for you,” Tony said. “Thanks, for understanding.”

“Food is in the car, maybe you two can finish it off,” Bucky suggested. Then, shocking Tony, Bucky stepped a little closer to where Spider-Man was hunched in on himself. “Hey, kid. I do remember you. Met a lot of strong people in my life, not many who could hold down my metal arm with a bunch of string.”

“Webs,” Spider-Man said in a stunned little voice. 

Tony grinned at Bucky. “Friday says a car is around the corner for you. Thanks again for, uh, understanding about this.”

The oddly soft look of Bucky’s face as he glanced between Tony and Spider-Man should have told him something about Bucky’s mental state, or at least something of what he was thinking about what was happening right then. Tony, however, had too much today to try to figure out to try and do it all right then. He was just going to enjoy the fact that someone finally got his relationship with Peter for once, even if Bucky hadn’t actually met Peter yet.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days passed in a blur, causing Bucky's initial therapy appointment to creep up closer and closer. In the end he had chosen the female therapist, figuring he enjoyed speaking with Friday about day to day life that it might be easier to open up to a woman. He didn’t feel ready for his appointment with Dr. Amber Grodin on Tuesday, but from what Tony said no one ever felt ready to see the therapist.

In the meantime, Tony had suggested Bucky start up journal writing, because odds were the therapist was going to insist on it anyway. Bucky had taken one look at the fancy journaling program on his Stark phone, before sending a pleading look toward one of Friday’s cameras. 

A traditional journal, made from actual paper, and a set of pens had been delivered to his door later that afternoon.

Two days later, he had yet to actually write in it. He was too afraid to see just what his mind came up with when allowed to simply flow onto a page. Which was saddening, because he did remember writing being something he was good at. Steve Rogers hadn’t been the only creative one out of the two of them, only Bucky’s tastes had run more along short stories involving robots and men from space. 

The thought of Steve jolted him into standing and returning to the off and on pacing he had been doing for the past hour. He probably should wait until after therapy started, to have something to ground him, but he couldn’t get the look on Tony’s face out of his head. Tony had looked so frustrated and angry after speaking with Steve, and all on Bucky’s behalf. Bucky wasn’t weak, he could stand up for himself, and he wasn’t about to let Tony get battered down because Steve was being a misguided jerk.

So there he was, standing on the roof of the Tower, in the little garden space that was now in place of the penthouse Tony once had there. Friday had guided him to it earlier that day when Bucky had begun to feel claustrophobic and Tony had been trapped in endless meetings.

Bucky stared down at his phone and told himself to stop being a coward. He’d been putting it off for nearly a week, and had lied to himself every day since Tony had been forced to speak with Steve himself. That he would call him in a little bit, later that day or when he was done eating. No, instead he hid his phone and let Tony Stark play the strong alpha and deal with that mess for him.

Bucky scowled, directing that agitation at himself where it belonged. He wasn’t weak, he didn’t have to hide from Steve Rogers. The man was...was once his best friend. That was something that could still be repaired. He wasn’t sure the exact details of Tony’s conversation with the other alpha, and he couldn’t imagine it was pleasant, but it couldn’t have been so horrible that Bucky couldn’t handle a direct conversation with the other super soldier.

Letting out a breath, Bucky scrolled to Steve's number and hit the call button. It rang exactly three times, like the man on the other line was actually timing it. Then he heard Steve’s voice for the first time in almost a week, “Captain Steve Rogers speaking.”

Bucky snorted. “Nice to know you’re trying to keep your manners.”

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice was momentarily breathless. “Is that really you? Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“I’m fine, Steve,” Bucky said, stepping over to the ledge to look out at the cityscape. “Going pretty well, actually.”

Steve was quiet for a moment. “You can tell me the truth, Buck, you know you can. If Tony tries anything…”

“Then I’ll smack him proper and turn him down. I think I managed to turn you down well enough, right? I didn’t even have to smack you,” Bucky countered, hardening his tone. Though he knew full well that if Tony extended interest and it wasn’t because of some misguided attempt at being what Bucky needed, Bucky would have to fight hard to not take him up on the offer to be his omega. Mostly because he didn't know what he wanted from himself let alone someone else, and partly because his feeling of unrest made sense now. He wasn’t exactly an omega, was he?

“I’m sorry for being insensitive,” Steve said, though he didn’t really sound sorry. “It’s just...it’s us, Bucky. It’s always been us.”

“Not like that, Steve,” Bucky replied, feeling tired of the direction the conversation was going. “I didn’t call to argue with you about this. I’m a big boy, I can choose what alpha I want in my bed. Hell, I don’t even want one. Don’t you think I should be getting my head on straight before I go worrying about something like that?”

“I should be with you,” Steve insisted, “helping you. Not here taking classes on team psychology and running basic training drills. I need to be there with you, I need…”

Bucky swallowed, a strange sensation building in his stomach that he couldn’t really identify. “What do you need, Steve? You’re not making much sense, so you should probably just spit it out.”

“Your scent is gone,” Steve snapped. “I had a shirt, I found it in my bag, and it doesn’t smell like you anymore and you just left me. You left me and now everything tastes wrong and I need to be there. I can’t fake being happy until I can-”

Steve cut himself off, taking in deep breaths. Bucky, on the other hand, felt that tension in his body tighten further, a near acidic sensation in his stomach hitting him faster. Steve wasn’t even talking like he normally did when obsessing over something. The righteous lecturing? That was what Bucky was expecting. Even a bit of neediness, but not this strange desperation. There was a shuddering breath on the other line. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I just miss you. I need to see you.”

“Yeah, I can... I don’t know when I might be able to set that up, but I’ll try,” Bucky automatically said, feeling the burn in his stomach settle slightly when Steve let out a hum of contentment in response to Bucky just saying he’d try. “I have some stuff coming up, therapy-”

“What? You’re not crazy, Buck,” Steve interrupted. “What crap has Tony been feeding you?”

“Steve!” Bucky snapped back, taking a little satisfaction in how Steve went immediately silent. “This isn’t the forties and you know it. Back then you should have been thrown in an asylum just for being an omega, let alone for being sickly. It’s completely changed. A therapist is going to help me walk through everything, make sure I’m not letting it stew and rot in my head. Something a lot of boys in the army back then could have used, remember?”

There was a moment of silence, because they both remembered plenty of boys in the military back then who were probably going to be released only to open their mouth to their own gun. Therapy should have been a thriving institution then, it would have saved a good deal of good men from their own self-hatred.

“You need to stop thinking I’m some weak little dame that Tony is going to take advantage of,” Bucky said softly. “Got to say, even his own female AI doesn’t let him take advantage of her, and she was built to aid him. He’s not going to hurt me.”

“That’s how he does it. That’s what he’s going to do, he’s going to be sweet and kind and caring, and then he’s going to take you away from me,” Steve said, voice intense. And the scary part was that Steve actually believed what he was saying. That intense feeling returned, but Bucky didn’t know how to properly respond to this. “Buck, you know you’re mine, you can’t let him think you’re going to be his.”

“Steve... I’m not yours, not like that,” Bucky whispered, not able to will his voice to get any louder. The burning got worse and Bucky wished he had a second hand to just rub at his stomach, to try to calm it. “Steve, we’re friends and I want to be best friends again, but I am not yours. I don’t belong to you.”

“See? He’s already-”

“No,” Bucky said, still whispering, unable to raise his voice at all. Some part of his brain just wouldn’t let him, arguing back against Steve was already too much. “I’ll try to see you, but I can’t… Steve, you should see about getting help too. I’m not going to be able to be alone with you if you’re going to act like this.”

“I’d never hurt you,” Steve replied, his voice earnest. “I... I didn’t want to say it over the phone, but I love you.”

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, before blinking them back open to the bright sunlight above him. “I wish...no. I can’t be that right now. I can’t even love myself, Steve. Please, understand you’re asking too much from me.”

“I’m sorry,” was the soft, sad reply. “I understand. Can we still meet? I know we have to have a bodyguard, but I don’t mind. I just need to see you, know you’re actually safe.”

“I’ll look into it,” Bucky replied. 

There was noise in the background, before Steve let out a frustrated sound. “I have to go. Bucky, I… I do mean it, I love you. I miss you. Please, keep calling me if that’s all he’ll let you do.”

“He’s not the one-”

“Right, I get it,” Steve interjected. “Still, let me know when we can meet.”

“Yeah,” Bucky replied. There was a moment of silence, where it was clear Steve didn’t want to end the call. Cringing, Bucky ended it for the both of them. Seconds later, his body cramped up, stomach burning in a way it hadn’t since he caught the flu as a child. Only this was much different.

Letting out a strangled, pained sound, Bucky dropped to his knees and curled up. That lasted for a few minutes, before he gave in to his body’s needs and twisted in order to vomit onto the stone ground, right next to a rose bush. He felt panic rush through him, knowing full well he hadn’t actually thrown up since before Hydra and the super serum. No, it wasn’t since the morning after an alcohol fueled binge during one of their few state-side weekends, toasting to yet another job well done. Bucky didn’t remember the night before, but he remembered the horrible taste in his mouth the morning after.

The vomiting wasn’t helping and the burning and tension in his whole body was becoming painful. He couldn’t make it stop, all he could do was curl up and suck in as much air as he could.

“Bucky?” a soft voice, masculine but not dominating, called. A gentle touch to his shoulder, and he jerked back. There was nowhere to go, just the hard press of stone at his back and a soft, calming presence before him. “Bucky? ...James? Hey, it’s me, Tony. Keeping breathing, Snowflake. There we go.”

Bucky blinked, trying to see past the bright light around them, focusing in on the dark shadow knelt next to him. “Tony?”

“Welcome back, Snowflake,” Tony replied with a slow smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” he admitted. “And confused. I don’t understand what happened.”

“Same here,” Tony admitted. “Friday called me in when you started having a panic attack. She said you were talking to Rogers, which could cause any of us to vomit to be sure, but you were slowly showing symptoms of sickness that only progressed during the conversation. I know this is going to be a pointless conversation, because it’s Rogers we’re talking about, but did anything weird come up in the conversation?”

“He sounds weird,” Bucky admitted. “I know Steve, and he has always been the type to obsess and drive into things without thinking, but this was different. He sounded almost like he was desperate to…”

“Keep you?” Tony asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah, a bit,” Bucky admitted, ignoring the blush that stretched across his face.

“Right, well, let’s get you down to medical,” Tony announced, standing and offering Bucky a hand. 

“Why?”

“Yeah, you definitely sound like me,” Tony muttered. “Because you just threw up on my roof. And Dr Wright is already waiting for you. Don’t make me let her down, she’ll kick my ass.”

*

Apparently, super soldiers throwing up weren’t something to really worry about. At least that was what they were told as the doctor ignored most of Tony’s inquiries and quickly left the room to study Bucky’s blood work and make some calls. Tony Stark really wanted to remind everyone that this was his building, and he paid everyone’s paycheck. He let it go though, because he knew that Bucky was safe and healthy, otherwise Dr. Wright would have actually sat them down to give them a longer explanation.

Essentially, Bucky’s body was starting to get on with the programming and his hormones were starting to engage. Dr. Wright couldn’t say without further testing, but she suspected the call to Steve triggered a conflicted response between the omega and alpha aspect. The result was Bucky’s body fighting itself. 

Any further questions would have to wait, according to Dr. Wright. 

“Well, that was pleasant,” Tony remarked, shooting Bucky a sardonic smile. “No point in sticking around here, want to watch some science?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, before plucking at his stained shirt. “Sure, mind if I go change first?”

“Have at it, Snowflake,” Tony said exiting the room. “You know where I’ll be.”

Tony hightailed it back to his workshop, letting out a long breath as he exited the elevator. He tried to push the image of Bucky Barnes curled up on this garden roof, looking like something had actually just attacked him, out of his head but it was a hard process. It took everything in Tony to not chase Bucky down and just hold him. “Shit, this is getting crazy.”

“I’m going to tell Aunt May you’re cursing like that around me,” Peter casually said as he glanced up from his project, magnifying goggles making his eyes even bigger than usual.

“Sorry, just...yeah,” was all Tony could come up with.

“Is Mister Barnes okay?” Peter asked. The fact that the kid had been here when Friday’s worried voice had come over the intercom almost made Tony wince, because he knew Bucky would be mortified to know anyone, especially someone he didn’t really know, hearing about how he was having a break down.

“Yeah, you know us trauma patients, superheros get all the fun with flashbacks and panic attacks,” Tony mumbled. He walked past, taking a second to ruffle Peter’s hair. “Still sure you want those scars?”

“Can’t be worse than the scars of not doing anything then seeing the end result, right?” Peter replied, not even bothering to fix his hair, which now was defying gravity. 

“Choice of the few,” Tony shrugged, hiding the urge to just hug the kid, because he was too young and too sweet to need to worry about things like that. “He’s going to be down here in a bit, so remember that you do not run around in that onesie-”

“-that you made, you’re insulting your own work-”

“-and you are not the kid who pinned him down with strings. Oh man, strings. That was so adorable.”

“Both of you are adorable,” Peter said in what was probably supposed to be an insult, but the kid couldn’t hurt a fly while talking. Tony scowled back at him, anyway. “I’m serious, are you guys dating? Ned and I have a bet going.”

“What? No!” Tony said, suddenly flustered. By a teenager, what was his life? “You need to get your head out of the gutter. And why does Ned know everything that goes on over here?”

“I wasn’t thinking of it in those terms,” Peter insisted. “But it would be nice for you to meet a nice omega. Everyone deserves someone, you know. You out of everyone deserve the best. Or are you not Tony Stark?”

“You sound like what I picture my grandma to sound like,” Tony commented. “Or, you know, Rhodey.”

“Then I’m making a good point,” Peter said in what could only be pure smugness, before turning back to his project.

There was a light tap of flesh hitting glass and Tony looked over to see Bucky standing there awkwardly, eyeballing the kid with a confused look on his face. “Am I interrupting? I can come back.”

“No, no, get on in here,” Tony said, waving him over. It was about time he had an adult to speak to anyway. Peter had once again delved into high school gossip this afternoon and apparently the school secretary was also caught having dinner with the World History teacher. Props to the woman for sticking with one subject, but wow. “Don’t mind the pipsqueak. He’s doing his own science.”

Peter glanced up, looking a bit shy and a lot curious. “Hello, Mister Barnes.”

“Hello,” Bucky greeted, his nostrils flaring as he walked over. As Tony suspected, Bucky clearly recognized the scent as one that had been in the workshop often enough, which definitely allowed the man to keep his easy demeanor after the day he had. But the way Bucky’s eyes narrowed and darted to Tony made him wonder if they were as sly as Tony wished they were. “I don’t think I’ve been told your name.”

“Peter Parker, sir,” Peter replied with his usual happy grin. 

Bucky immediately softened at the look, much like every person on the planet. It was a good thing the kid wore a mask while crime-fighting, he’d already have been kidnapped by his adorable face alone. Or stolen by Interpol to help with the threat of war.

“Okay!” Tony said, trying to banish those thoughts. “Snowflake, come on over here, I want you to take a look at something. I was going to wait until you’d fully settled and such, but I think you might need to see something for the future, keep your spirits going forward. Or at least that is the plan.”

Bucky walked over, eye-balling Peter and petting the top of DUM-E’s sensor at the same time, before he stopped across from Tony’s work station. Tony waited until DUM-E had reached up and touched Bucky’s hair in his own obvious attempt to pet Bucky, before tapping his tablet and flinging the very rudimentary 3D sketch of the arm Tony had been designing for Bucky into the space between them. The man immediately backed away, eyes wide. 

“I, uh, have just been messing around with the idea. Don’t get all worked up, this is literally the most I’ve done,” Tony insisted, when he saw Bucky look purely overwhelmed by the image of a metal arm hovering above the shop table. “Trust me, this is like sketching a leaf on a sheet of paper compared to building a tree out of paper. If that even makes sense. Okay? I’m not pushing, I just wanted to show you.”

“Yeah, Mister Stark likes his big reveals and giving people gifts,” Peter said, lifting his magnifying goggles. “It’s not because he wants anything, so don’t worry about that. He just likes making people feel good and, well, he’s that good at reading people. It’s like when you have that one aunt that always picks the perfect gift? Yeah, that’s Mister Stark. Only he has such a short attention span-”

“Hey!”

“-and he’s not willing to wait for Christmas,” Peter said, with a shrug like what he said was exactly what was happening right then. Tony wanted to deny it to the end of the earth, but there was some truth to it, he loved making something of his own hands and seeing the happy smile that grew because of it. That didn’t mean Peter had to point that out, though. 

Bucky was nodding, a small smile developing on the corner of his mouth. “That is a very good description.”

“Oh, so now it’s both of you,” Tony said, affronted. “I open up my home, my workshop as it were, and you just sweep in and bad mouth me in front of my bot-children who should be here defending me but are too busy making smoothies or decorating their bedrooms!”

“I’m not saying I want it, but if I did would it be as heavy as the last one?” Bucky asked, sharing what was probably a smirk with Peter, but Tony ignored that and focused on the question. Deep down, way deep down, he felt a thrill realizing that the two of them were bonding. 

Even if it was at his expense.

“That’s why it’s just a sketch,” Tony said, immediately forgetting why he was upset. To be honest, watching the intense look of curiosity on Bucky’s face as he watched Tony talk and spin the little holographic model was enough to distract Tony from a lot of things. “The arm won’t be heavier than your living one, though it’ll take time to get used to. Do you, uh, think you’d want a new one?”

“I think so,” Bucky admitted. “I need to adjust, process. I wouldn’t want it anytime soon, but I like the idea it would be waiting for me. So, don’t rush, please. I kind of want to watch the slow progress, here and there. I want to be a part of it.”

“Ruining my fun all over, Snowflake,” Tony said, before sighing. “Fine, I’ll let it back burn. But, thanks. It’s kind of been bugging me and-”

“Yeah, Peter is definitely spot on. You really can’t help yourself when it comes to the gift giving,” Bucky said with a small smile.

There was a snort from Peter’s station. “Ask me on a day you really want to be angry with what the old Avengers got for gifts, and what they demanded after that.”

“Peter,” Tony said in a warning tone, because Peter Parker was not supposed to know that stuff. Spider-Man might know, but Peter definitely shouldn’t know.

Peter seemed to realize his mistake and gave the kicked puppy look, turning back to his project without a word. Bucky watched both of them without a word, eyes narrowing. Finally, the man stood and gave a small stretch, which Tony pretended to not eye-ball. Finally, Bucky began walking toward the door, pausing briefly to accept the smoothie that DUM-E, the traitor, had suddenly wheeled out to give him. 

“Thank you,” Bucky said, giving DUM-E another stroke on his head sensor with his pinkie, clearly planning on taking the smoothie with him. He then turned to them as he made it to the door. “I’m going to turn in, but this was nice. Next time, Peter can tell me what he’s working on. Have a good night, Tony... Spider-Man.”

Despite their distance, Tony could still feel Peter stop moving like the kid thought if he didn’t move then Bucky would forget all about that little revelation. They watched Bucky leave, before Peter slouched against his desk. “I’m sorry, I said too much.”

“Peter, he knew the moment he came in here,” Tony said, tiredly. “I don’t even know why we tried to hide it.”

“But I was doing so well!” Peter protested.

“And he’s the greatest spy slash assassin the Nazis and the Cold War ever invented,” Tony replied. He shook his head. “Honestly, it’s amazing he doesn’t have every secret in the world from a glance.”

“Get a room, old man,” Peter mumbled in such a low voice it was obvious Tony wasn’t meant to hear it, so he let it go. Peter looked up with a smile, one of his smaller ones that held more true emotion than the ones that were brighter than the sun. “I like him, though.”

“Me too, kid,” Tony said with a chuckle.

*

Bucky sat in a practically empty waiting room, with only Tony there to keep him company, as they waited for the therapist. She had insisted Bucky come to her, making a point that him being kept stuck in one location would never be good for him. Tony said if things didn’t work out this way she would come to the Tower, but otherwise they both felt she had a point. Isolation bred contempt. Bucky had seen enough of that, felt enough of that, in his occasional glimpses of the world over the years. His mind tried to stray to Steve, but he immediately shut it down, because even he knew that wasn’t the same.

Eventually, the door across from them opened and a tall redheaded woman emerged with a short, nervous looking man. She spoke a few soft words with him and, after a weird moment where it looked like he was going to hug her, he left and it was just the three of them. She turned toward them, looking younger than he expected a therapist to look. But then he had made the mistake of thinking Dr. Wright would be younger. 

Dr. Grodin was in the young range of early thirties, red hair in what could be called tangled and curled, and sensible work shoes. She immediately shook Tony’s hand, like she knew Tony would accept the gesture, before pulling back and giving Bucky a soft smile that had no actual meaning to it. Like she was waiting to see what their relationship needed to be before simply making assumptions. “Hello, Mister Barnes. I’m Dr. Grodin, but if you are comfortable with it, feel free to call me Amber.”

“Bucky, I guess,” he said, nerves allowing his one hand to rub at his thigh, letting the nervous sweat soak up on his jeans.

“You guess?” she asked with a head tilt. “I suppose that’s something we can eventually make certain of, but nothing to worry about today. Today, we’re just going to get to know each other, gather a baseline of each other’s responses. Even if all you talk about is cat videos, that’s okay. The first meeting always goes longer than the rest, so don’t worry about keeping time. It’s just an easy conversation.”

“I think I can do that,” Bucky said, glancing at Tony.

“Great,” Tony said with a smile. “Am I needed?”

“Only if Mister Barnes thinks you are,” Dr. Grodin replied. She looked directly at Bucky then. “The agreement is this, Mister Stark will stay in the waiting room if you feel he is needed. Otherwise, he is free to leave and return to pick you up. You get to choose.”

Bucky felt his stomach twist up again as Tony looked at him. There was no expectancy of an actual answer either way. He knew he couldn’t give a wrong response. But he felt sick about the choice all the same. “Could you?”

“Are you kidding?” Tony said, stepping back and simply dropping into the comfortable easy chair behind him. “I love being obnoxious to coworkers over the phone. I thank you, Bucky Barnes.”

It was hard to feel bad when Tony suddenly got a gleeful look on his face as his scrolled through his phone. Unsure of what else to do, Bucky turned to Dr. Grodin and nodded, allowing her to gesture him into the therapy room.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but the deep colored woods of the bookshelves and the soft brown leather of the chairs was not it. It felt like a room you’d find in a rich man’s cabin, with an antique clock on the wall and a nice oak desk in the corner. The books resembled every academic's bookshelf, though Bucky was a little too overwhelmed to take a second to read the titles.

“Have a seat,” Dr. Grodin said, gesturing at both the chair before her own and the sofa a few feet away. Another plus, he was given options of how far away he wanted to be.

Bucky sat across from her, feeling like he must be on a game show. But instead of a random question or a sudden joke, Dr. Grodin just sat back and watched him for a moment. “Umm, so what’s next?”

“Tell me about yourself,” she said, adjusting the notebook in her lap. “The notes are just for my memory, don’t worry about anyone else ever seeing them. Today is about you telling me about yourself. I’m going to ask questions, of course, but therapy is about you learning about yourself. That starts with what you think of yourself. So, you are free to simply talk. Whatever you need to talk about, whether it’s something pressing or just an odd thought.”

“I can talk about anything?” he asked.

“Yes, whatever you want. Usually it’s about what you hope to get out of this, but it’s been previously stated what that is,” she said with a shrug. “So, instead, just tell me about whatever you’d like. I might even find something to share myself.”

And just like that, Bucky began to talk about the conversation with Steve. Her pen on paper didn’t bother him, she was doing her job, but it was nice to actually talk about the confusion he was feeling. The confusion about himself. She asked the occasional question, even at one point brought up a friend of hers that had a childhood friend who was possessive post-presenting. It wasn’t exactly the same as his situation, but the fact he could feel her trying to understand made him feel all the better.

He wasn’t sure how long it took him to wind down, but when he did she was looking at him with a contemplative expression. “I’m just thinking crazy.”

“No, not at all,” she said. “Dr. Wright has already stated your hormones are not going to react like the textbook case of an omega or an alpha. You can’t help what you are and while Steve might think he’s being the best he can be to defend you, he doesn’t have all the facts.”

“No, but he wouldn’t understand them anyway.”

“Perhaps so.” She smiled at him and gave a slight shrug. “There is always that guy, or girl, in our lives who think they know what’s best for us. Some of them grow out of it with enough information, others don’t. I can’t say either way for this particular situation, not right now, but Mister Stark has one very smart AI.”

“The journal,” Bucky said, remembering the only time he mentioned Friday.

“Yes,” she said with a bigger smile. “Honestly, every human on the planet should have the practice. I know in your case, much like many post-soldier cases, it’s hard to write your thoughts when having them found could compromise yourself or others. I get that, but it will help you figure things out and you are at a place where it’s no longer war. And that is your homework for the next week.”

“Homework?” he asked.

“Sadly, therapy can’t end at the door,” she told him. “It’s a long, sometimes overwhelming process, but it’s like any medical treatment. You can’t only do physical therapy at the doctor’s office, it’s the same with mental therapy.”

“I get it,” he said, wincing at the idea of being this raw outside her office. “So, what am I supposed to write?”

“Anything you feel like,” she replied. “The thing is, the mind needs to get things out to analyze. Writing in a journal is the simplest way to do that. So even if it turned into you just writing little bursts of short stories or just the dialogue of two people talking, it still does its job. That is how free it is. I’ll never read it, no one else will. But it will help.”

Bucky gave a little laugh. “That easy, huh?”

“I don’t know, you’re the only one who gets to read it, so only you get to know if you did it,” she said, giving him a pointed look. “As for Mister Rogers, I can’t tell you stay away from him. No one can. I can, however, tell you to remember that you matter and you can tell someone to stop hurting you, no matter what kind of hurt that manifests as.”

Bucky didn’t know what to think of that. It was that thought that kept with him as he left, as Tony offered lunch, and he almost emotionlessly accepted. Tony clearly could tell he was shutting down, but he couldn’t tell why. It almost felt like Bucky’s sick secret, and he didn’t understand why he felt that way about it. Steve never intended to hurt him, and he never would if Bucky told him outright what he was feeling.

It was then, before bed and when the thoughts were becoming too much, that Bucky opened up the journal and began to write. It had no real cohesion, no proper grammar. He was just writing, whatever popped into his head. It started as worthless words and turned into a letter, followed by an account of a nightmare, then just a page long description of Tony’s workshop because it was safe. 

Bucky went to sleep that night exhausted, feeling more tired than battling the strongest man in the world would have felt. It was a mental tired that was felt down to his bones. But for once he slept clean, not a single nightmare or dream to interrupt it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the therapist's office is basically the description of the best psychiatrist I have ever had in my life, who died in 2014 via a car crash. Never had the option to give the guy the mad props he deserved, so here's a weird way of doing it I guess. He'd be amused.
> 
> Also, there was a comment in the last chapter about how I'm missing the bot Butterfingers. This was, admittedly, on accident (I honestly hardly read fanfic with that bot in it, so he slipped my mind...), but I have a solution that I think everyone is going to love. It just didn't fit with this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had added the Steve/Bucky tag. Not to say it's endgame (come on, look what's happening), but because there is so much of it starting out. I feel it's at the point where I'd feel startled myself while reading a story. So: tag.

He pulled his legs up, curling up in the corner of the couch as his eyes zoned in on the television before him. Bucky couldn’t help but wrap his arm around his knees, a twist hitting his stomach as he watched the news footage of Captain America emerging from a partially demolished building with a small, unconscious girl in his arms. The man looked tired, sad even, but Bucky knew Steve well enough to know the man would always take this part of his job seriously.

Even if he occasionally got a little skewed on how he should perform that job. Bucky wasn’t stupid, he watched the footage and let Friday explain what was really going on when Steve had found him a year or so ago. He knew fully well that Steve had began a descent into something that was almost out-character, at least compared to the flashes of memory that Bucky held dear in his mind. 

Would Bucky ever understand? Possibly not, so he could only move forward and try to live with how things were now. And sometimes, despite what he told himself, he needed Steve Rogers. Like Steve, he craved that link to the core of who he was, a past that could never exist again. But unlike Steve, he wasn’t willing to give up what he could have now just to get that back.

Focusing back on the screen, Bucky’s eyes traced the sad lines of Steve’s face, the grim set to his jaw. The man looked...hollow. Something was missing from his life and Bucky felt his whole body jerk with an urge to just get up and...what? Run all the way to the Compound? 

Bucky closed his eyes, fighting down the confusing emotions trying to take their toll on his body. He let out a breath and went back to staring at the screen, watching the suspicious nature of the reporters as they spoke while the image of Steve Rogers looped, as they questioned how long a ‘good Captain’ would be amongst them. Bucky gave a slight smirk at that, unable to ignore the humor, picturing the tiny, stubborn Steve of the past hearing their doubt in him. 

But it was the last image of Steve before the news changed to the weather that had Bucky getting to his feet and grabbing his phone, the blues of Steve’s eyes staring right at the camera. Bucky could practically feel the twist and pull in him to move toward the screen, because he could feel the longing that Steve felt, the sadness in the man’s eyes showing clear as day.

Bucky stepped out of his living room, pacing down the main hallway. It had been two weeks since he had called Steve, since he had been sick on the roof. He had been afraid to call since. Dr. Wright had pulled him in to her office twice since, drawing blood with the explanation that she needed to monitor his baseline so she could figure out what could cause a similar episode to happened again.

Two weeks of the workshop and DUM-E playing fetch with him had filled part of that time. Peter’s enthusiasm about, well, everything causing him to smile as it merely caused Tony to bounce around the workshop even more with whatever item of science that was on the agenda that day.

His journal was filling up quickly and the last two sessions with Dr. Grodin had gone smoothly, a sense of companionship slowly developing as he shared more about Steve and his’ relationship, mixing in the nervousness of modern day life. She shared with him an occasional experience with POW vets that she had been a therapist for, using no identities while telling Bucky what had helped them learn to accept how much the world had changed while they were kept captive. While it wasn’t exactly the same, knowing there was someone out there who just understood on some level helped. 

He liked how his life was adapting, even with the slow build of the BARF program looming in his future. It was something that he could picture himself surviving and every day he was more accepting of that thought.

But all of that flew out the window with the image of Steve Rogers’ sad face in his mind. Steve had been his sole link to sanity, the one who triggered him to pause and analyze what was in his own head. It allowed him to actually fight Hydra harder than he ever had before - because he had, many times, unsuccessfully until Steve. And now, to have this normally consistent connection floundering? 

It made him sick. Almost literally.

A panic ran through him, and he found himself swiftly walking down the hallway until he was standing in front of a single door, one he hadn’t opened since that first self-tour he had taken of his new home. He allowed himself that one moment of pause, before he pushed the door open and shut it swiftly behind him. 

The odd comfort of the omega room wrapped around him just as it had the first time. 

Without thinking on it, Bucky pulled out one of the overly soft blankets and threw a couple of the pillows into the corner. His mind was working on pure instinct as he wrapped the blanket around his body, buried in what looked like a sparse and quickly built nest. The pillows kept him mostly propped up, but it would be very easy to relax into a nap with as cozy as he quickly felt. How safe. 

He let the fuzziness of the room and the blanket enter his mind. His thoughts turned sluggish and he almost felt feverish, too hot on the surface, but he wasn’t willing to push the comfort of the blanket off of himself. A soft hum escaped him.

“Bucky?” Steve soft voice asked.

Bucky blinked, staring for a second at the phone he had raised to his ear. “Steve?”

“What’s wrong? You sound...almost like you’re drugged,” Steve asked, his voice rising.

“Shh, I’m fine,” Bucky told him. Except he wasn’t, he didn’t even remember calling Steve. He forced that thought down for another time. There was no need to freak Steve out. Besides, he was too comfortable, too content, to worry about that. “I saw you on TV. With the little girl.”

“You wouldn’t think I saved her with the way everyone was talking,” Steve growled. Bucky felt an uncomfortable shiver shoot down his spine at the sound. “I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about you. How are you, really?”

“Doing just fine, momma-bear,” Bucky replied, keeping his voice soft, knowing it would keep Steve just as calm.

“There’s nothing wrong with loving you, Bucky, so stop acting like I shouldn’t be fretting,” Steve insisted. When nothing but silence greeted Steve, the man let out a frustrated sound. “You’ve checked into us meeting, right? I don’t think I can go much longer without seeing you, smelling you. It’s not enough just hearing your voice, as beautiful as it is.”

Bucky snorted, though he ruined the effect with a sleepy chuckle. “You’re ridiculous. You’re not in love with me, you just think you’re in a horrible romance novel.”

“It’s not horrible, except not being with you,” Steve replied, letting out another growl. “Knowing Tony can just reach over and touch you any time he wants.”

“Doesn’t. Wound’t let him,” Bucky mumbled, curling up even more in his nest. “Wouldn’t let you, either.”

“Buck, seriously, what’s wrong?” Steve demanded, his voice giving it out like a full command.

Bucky’s stomach twisted painfully, almost pulling him from his newfound world made of cotton. “Tony made me a room, just trying it out.”

Stupid, stupid, stupid-

“What kind of room?” Steve’s voice was now low, demanding, rolling out in a feral sound. 

Bucky felt his body break out in sweat from the very sound of it with the way it overwhelmed his senses, the urge to tilt his head back and bare his skin to an alpha that wasn’t even in the room shooting through him with enough force to cause him to let out what could only be a small whine. He heard himself gasp out an answer, knowing he didn’t lie about where he was.

And Steve was silent. Bucky could feel everything over the phone, every piece of rage and possession that was rolling off of Steve in waves, even though logically he shouldn’t be able to. It was then that he actually felt fear, true fear, for the first time in a long while. If Steve had been standing before him, Bucky would have been helpless to anything the man wanted because of how breakable he felt at that very moment.

When Steve finally talked, it took everything in Bucky’s power to not just throw up from the intense pain and feeling rushing through his body. “Bucky, you listen to me. Don’t you ever let him in there, do you understand me? Tony Stark never gets to step into that room!”

“U-understood,” Bucky replied, his voice shaking. “I’ve got to... I’ve got to go. We’ll talk soon.”

“Bucky, no-” Steve started, voice tight with worry and at this point it was just plain anger, but Bucky could barely hear him past the rushing of his ears. Quickly, he shut the phone off to avoid any call-backs.

He sat for a moment, trying as hard as he could to bring back that happy little place he had put himself in, but he couldn’t. Steve had ruined all of it and Bucky had let him. No, Bucky had invited him to, and he didn’t even understand how or why.

It was with a strange distance that he realized he couldn’t breathe. Every gasp of air was going nowhere and even throwing the blanket off of him didn’t help. He felt weak all over, his stomach once again twisted up so tight that he couldn’t help the small sound of pain emitting from his throat. He had to get out of there, he had to get away from this room, where he couldn’t think and couldn’t breathe. 

“Mister Barnes,” Friday’s voice called for him, sounding far away to his ears. “Do I need to call the Boss or the doctor?”

“No,” Bucky gasped out, throat burning from the effort. He began trying to get to the door, using his one arm in a type of military crawl. “Let..let me out.”

He didn’t know if Friday was able to open the door or if he had somehow done it on his own, but the next thing he was aware of was the cool temperature of the hallway as he collapsed through the doorway. He started coughing, the burning in his throat turning to dry heaving as what felt like acid tried to make its way upward. His whole body felt like it was being electrocuted, and he wanted nothing more than to cry, just cry.

And it was all his fault, he had done this to himself. Even if he didn’t understand or was aware of what he had done on instinct, some part of him wanted him to suffer like this.

“Hey, Snowflake?” Tony’s voice, too close. Way too close. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m staying over here, I’m going to just stay right over here.”

Bucky had scrambled away, back hitting the door jam of the omega room painfully, in his attempt to get away from Tony. That’s what Steve wanted, right? For Tony to stay away from him. Bucky stared up at Tony, his breath still fighting to come in anything more steady than gasps, trying to remember why he was listening to Steve Rogers in the first place. “Tony?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” Tony whispered, dropping to a crouch, so they were more face to face. The man stayed about fix feet away though, clearly poised to move if Bucky needed him to. “Dr. Wright is on her way up, okay? You’re going to be fine, just keep breathing.”

“Hurts,” Bucky admitted, feeling the pain barely dull. Oxygen was coming easier, Tony’s voice acting like a balm to his fried nerves. 

“Friday wants to apologize, she said you told her not to call anyone,” Tony said.

“Fine, it’s…” Bucky sucked in more air and tilted his head back to look at one of the cameras. “Thank you, Miss Friday.”

“You’re welcome, Mister Barnes,” she replied, voice fond.

They heard the elevator door open and the swift steps of Dr. Wright down the hallway. She paused after turning the corner, taking in Bucky’s shivering form. “Mister Stark, if you would leave us alone, please.”

“Are you sure-?” Tony began, looking toward Bucky for any indication of what he’d want.

Bucky swallowed, throat feeling raw, at the expression on Dr. Wright’s face. With a sigh, he nodded.

“Okay, just, have Friday call me if I’m needed,” Tony said, voice uncertain, as he stood and began walking slowly away from him. Almost like it was hurting the man to even leave. But then his instincts were probably telling him there was an omega in distress, so Bucky didn’t blame the man. He remembered those feelings, too.

“Let’s start with your blood pressure,” Dr Wright said, keeping her voice soft as she settled next to him.

They were quiet as she began a basic exam, her sure hands and soft scent doing more to calm the panic in him than he would have suspected. He watched her as her mouth turned downward, eyes narrowed as she listened to his heart. The silence between them was comforting and brought the small image of his mother to the forefront of his mind. The woman had been quiet, despite the rowdy Catholic family she had raised. Much like Dr. Wright, her quietness held strength and an ability to keep even the flirty, mouthy teenager he had been under control. 

The memory and Dr. Wright’s gentle way with him made him look away, feeling more emotion wash over him. This one bittersweet, but still more than he thought he could handle for the day.

“Mister Barnes, I’m going to ask you a simple question,” the doctor finally said, sitting back. He looked at her expectantly, ignoring the sense of dread now creeping through him. “You called Steve Rogers again, didn’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he admitted, voice tight.

“At what point in the conversation did your symptoms turn bad?”

“I...can’t remember,” he whispered. “I saw him on the news, I don’t even remember calling him. He got...upset about not seeing me and I think that’s when it got worse, but everything is...fuzzy?”

“Very well,” she said with a slow nod, her brain obviously filtering through the numerous options available to her. “I’m going to draw more blood and after that I want you to go to the common room floor, do you understand? I need you to be in contact with other people.”

Bucky frowned, confused.

“It might not make sense to you right now, but you need to diversify your contact with omegas and alphas. Right now, it may be the only thing to slow down what is happening.”

“What is happening?” he asked, feeling that nausea returning.

“It’s impossible for me to say right now, it’s all conjecture,” Dr. Wright said. “It could be withdrawal from being around more alphas, like you were with the Avengers. It could be your body’s chemistry going chaotic and Mister Rogers is confusing it. There are so many options and I need time to figure them out, okay? In the meantime, I need to know there are people looking out for you, even if it’s just seeing your behavior. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Bucky mumbled, hating the very fact that he did understand. 

“I believe Colonel Rhodes is down there right now,” she offered. “Which means Tony will probably be along at some point.”

That, at least, didn’t make the idea seem so scary. Strange, Bucky thought, how the fear a person felt on the first day of school never really went away when it came to entering a new crowd.

*

Tony could feel himself practically vibrating in his attempt to stop worrying and fretting over Bucky Barnes, knowing that since the man wasn’t even in the same room it would be pretty pointless anyway. So he went about the rest of his day, checked on his experiment simulations and pretended to care when someone from the SI board called - even though he was really playing Galaga on his computer.

It made him look like he was intensely focusing, though, which was the whole point. 

After that, at a loss for anything to do, Tony helped U solder some of the rainbow lights he had bought her. He got a few weird robot kisses on the cheek in response, but as everyone always knew, he always had a soft spot for the ladies. 

Which then led to him asking Friday to properly filter IT’s meme images as a joke. They both found it hilarious when those guys got confused about their labeling system and it meant Friday kept busy, leaving him time to create the most awesome musical experience, combined with digital sound manipulation software, ever created for his baby girl’s Christmas present. Like most of Tony’s presents to his bots, it usually ended up an SI product. Odds were there would be a revolutionary music production system out next year, but for now it was all for Friday.

That kept him happily distracted for a while, before the worry about Bucky finally creeped back up on him. He knew better than to demand answers from Dr. Wright, though. She might be on his payroll, but she took Bucky’s rights very seriously. 

As she should, Tony reminded himself. He wasn’t Bucky’s alpha and even if he was, it really wasn’t fair for him to be demanding that information anyway. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t worry and pout and eventually snoop. Eventually, but right then Tony was keeping a clear head on himself and prayed he would be able to continue to do so.

“Friday?” he asked, after shutting down his work and burying it under five levels of passwords and images of hat wearing squirrels - which he still didn’t understand Friday’s issues with them, but it played to his favor. “Anyone on the common floor? I think I might take up that thing they call lunch.”

“Colonel Rhodes and Mister Barnes appear to be sharing coffee,” Friday informed him.

“Just...drinking coffee?” Tony asked, a little worried. “No arguing, no flashing of alpha muscles by my Rhodey-bear? Wait, Bucky is actually spending time with someone that’s not me?”

“It appears so,” Friday said. “They don’t seem to be talking at all. Colonel Rhodes is reading the paper.”

“Oh god, I bet it’s an actual, made out of a tree paper, too,” Tony said in exasperation. “Well, clearly I have to go save them from their lives, I mean honestly.”

“Of course, Boss,” Friday replied, and she would have snorted, Tony knew she would have, if that was the type of personality she had. No, she got that dry, ‘you amuse me so, you little human’ attitude from her big brother. Tony fought down the sad sigh that always built up at the thought of Jarvis, but he didn’t blame Friday for that. She was the perfect little sister for Jarvis to leave behind.

He made it to the common room floor quickly and entered the kitchen and dining room area, fully planning on announcing himself in his usual flair. Except there was something oddly peaceful about the sight he stumbled upon. Rhodey was sitting in his usual chair, the one that gave him the perfect amount of sunlight to read by, with his cup of coffee on the table and the newspaper propped up with one hand. Across from him was Bucky, looking a little worse for wear, but still seeming content to sip his coffee in silence.

As Tony watched, Bucky cleared his throat. “Are you done with the entertainment section?”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow at him.

“Dr. Wright said I need to expose myself to more people, I figure that might be a good place to start. It’s...movies and stuff, right?” Bucky replied, sounding both shy and nervous. Tony had to fight the urge to just run over and hug him. The man was going to be the death of him.

Rhodey took a moment to look through the paper, before pulling out a couple sections. “Here, but I’d give the cultural stuff a try, too. Museums might give you more to engage people with.”

“T-thank you,” Bucky mumbled.

Rhodey gave the man a strange look, like he was adding yet another detail to the file he was compiling of one Bucky Barnes. Finally, though, he looked up and straight over at Tony. “Don’t hide in the shadows, Tones, coffee is still fresh.”

Breaking into a smile, feeling a little too happy that his best friend and his...new friend were getting along so well, Tony bounced over to the coffee pot. He and Friday immediately provided them with the details of their prank on IT, just to make sure Rhodey at the very least would be aware of the situation. Tony’s occasionally foray into pranks tended to last a good while, because people were sore losers and always tried unsuccessfully to fire back.

“What are memes?” Bucky asked.

“Oh, no. I’m not staying here for this,” Rhodey said, standing with a slight tilt, indicating one of his braces needed an adjusted me. Tony put it on his mental calendar to bug the man about later. Rhodey gave a chuckle. “Barnes, you put yourself into this mess. Good luck getting out.”

“Oh hush, platypus,” Tony scowled, before pulling out his phone with a wicked grin. “Snowflake, prepared to be awed.”

*

After an hour of Tony trying to explain why cats were the dominant species of memes - which, of itself, Bucky didn’t really understand - Bucky finally made it back to his room. He gathered his journal and sat down to write about the conflicting emotions of the day, which had been too many to fully name. Instead, he sat in his room, staring around at how quiet and empty it was. 

Most people had personal things filling their space. Even when he was the Winter Soldier and had to stay in one location for longer than a couple of weeks you would see evidence of him being there, which was more than one would expect of the Winter Soldier. A knife sharpening block on a counter, a leather coat hanging off a chair. There were always tiny little details. Here, there wasn’t much at all. His journal and a sparse collection of clothes. Even then, he was only attached to the journal and what Tony had called his bondage shirt, granted with a high-pitched tilt to the end of the phrase. He suddenly needed more, not to own things, but to know if he walked out of the room it would still be his.

Bucky stared down at his journal, biting his lip. “Umm, Miss Friday?”

“Yes, Mister Barnes?” she asked. 

“I was wondering...if I wished to purchase some things, without Tony paying for it, how would I go about making money?” Bucky asked, realizing his voice sounded weak. The idea of asking for handouts brought the idea of his mother to the forefront of his mind for the second time that day. She was stubborn, refused to look weak. She’d accept handouts, but the moment the person showed pity they’d end up with the eggs they had offered at their doorstep, cracked and oozes goo. 

“The government has allowed a small stipend for you to go into effect once you have shown obedience to their rules,” Friday said. “In other words, once you have passed the thirty-day probationary period these funds will be provided for you.”

“I have two weeks to go, then?”

“One, the time includes your preparation time in Wakanda, as that was when the documents were signed,” she clarified.

“I guess I better behave myself,” Bucky commented.

“In the meantime, if there is anything I can get you?” she asked.

“No, I’ve already asked for too much, I can wait,” Bucky insisted. He picked up a pen and opened the journal. There was some silence as he began to write, before he paused. “Miss Friday?”

“Yes, Mister Barnes?”

“Can I order something to be charged to those funds? I don’t really feel comfortable with Tony knowing about it,” he said, hand clenching around the pen.

“Of course, I can set aside a charge account and have those funds subtracted from your income once the stipend starts. What is it you’d like me to order?” Friday responded. 

Bucky let out a long breath. He knew he could contact his new therapist about this, but he felt like it should be something he just already understood. Yet, he knew the dynamic between omegas and alphas had changed, what was considered normal back in the forties wasn’t normal today. Just having an AI - if they existed - that had a female voice back then would have been scandalous and Bucky was aware enough of misogyny to know the biggest affront would have been that Friday’s voice was that of a girl instead of some label of being god in creation. So much had changed…

“I need to know what the norm is for a relationship between the-the secondary genders. How a romanced between omegas and alphas are supposed to be like today. Not like they used to be. I...I’m confused about a few things, about Steve, and I need to figure it out without anyone knowing.”

“Mister Barnes, I will happily get these things for you, but it might be best to talk to someone-”

“No, I’m sorry. Miss Friday, I can’t,” Bucky replied. “I need to understand it more, so I know what to ask. I’ll tell Dr. Grodin about it in our next visit, I promise, but let me do this.”

“Very well,” Friday replied. “I will select the best books based on relevant topic combined with peer and customer reviews.”

“Thank you, Miss Friday.”

*

“Hey, Mister Barnes?” Peter’s soft voice interrupted Bucky’s thoughts and the man put down the book he was holding. It was one of the guiltier books Friday had picked out for him. While most had been more academic and on the self-help side, this was a line of romantic comedies about an omega who decided to ignore alpha domination and live life her own way. It was oddly addictive, if a little ridiculous. Bucky kept the book covered, of course, not wanting to hear Tony’s gleeful jokes.

“Yes, Peter?” Bucky asked, watching as the teenager squirmed in front of him. “Is something wrong?”

“I kind of want to ask you something…” Peter admitted, before overcoming his shyness and crawling onto the table next to Bucky, perching there like it was the most comfortable position in the world. 

Bucky looked up at him in amusement. “Just spit it out, kid.”

“Are you...do you like being an omega?” Peter asked, his voice soft like he was telling a secret.

“I can’t really say, I don’t remember the big omega things,” Bucky admitted. “I’ve never been aware for a heat or had that special alpha sweep me off my feet. So... I can’t really say.”

But he kind of could, maybe? He’s had Steve, who has fought and fought to be with him and protect him. Who has gone sick over not being able to be near him. Bucky was still confused over what was going on there, and he knew no answers were coming any time soon so it was best to not confuse Peter with that information. Besides, the books Friday had given him indicated it might not be normal behavior anymore. In the forties, the way Steve was acting would have been normal, but today had a different set of rules. 

With women’s liberation, omega’s rights followed.

“Why do you ask?” He turned back to Peter worried face, fighting the urge to reach out and smooth away the scrunched up worry lines on his forehead. 

“Everyone thinks I’m going to be an omega,” Peter said, voice sullen. 

Honestly, Bucky had already categorized Peter as one. The boy had yet to present and while it was never certain until then, Bucky’s nose was a bit sharper than most. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“No!” Peter rushed to say, before slumping down and letting one leg dangle off the table. “I’m not going to be taken seriously by the Avengers or any bad guy that comes around if I smell like an omega. It’s going to make me useless. I don’t care what the guys at school say, they haven’t presented either, so they don’t have any room to talk.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being an omega,” Bucky said, voice sounding rough, because honestly he wished he had been able to have this very conversation with someone. “You know how bad it used to be, right?”

“Yeah, I heard Captain America had to hide, though looking at the photos...don’t know how…” Peter said.

Bucky snorted. “Yeah, but it was bad. Omegas were auctioned off, put in asylums. It was bad, but look at how it is now. Omegas aren’t just weak people needing a strong hand. They’re actually their own people. You would have full rights and a pretty badass father-figure willing to sue the entire world to let you do what you want regardless of being an omega or alpha.”

“He’s not--” Peter blushed a bright red and grinned. “Okay, so he kind of is. You can, too, you know. Do whatever you want now, being an omega be damned.”

“Kid, every once in a while you’re going to come across something that scares you and you’re going to want to hide,” Bucky told him, looking directly in his eyes. Peter stopped breathing, staring back at him. “Alphas do it too, omegas aren’t weak for hiding. Sometimes our bodies and brains need to rest and reset. That’s what I’m going through. Hell, if you are an omega, we’re probably going to be going through a lot of similar stuff that is new to both of us.”

“I’m not scared it you aren’t,” Peter replied, voice almost breathless.

“Then I guess we’re ready to face the world,” Bucky replied with a smile.

“If that corner gets more secretive and depressing, I’m sending the bots over with rainbow lights and Skittle smoothies!” Tony’s voice yelled from the other side of the room.

“Let’s wait it out, a Skittle smoothie sounds delicious!” Peter said eagerly, making Bucky laugh.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes a scene that gives this story the rape/non-con warning. It's not too graphic, but worthy of a warning I feel.

It had been a few weeks since Tony had last opened up the files for the Winter Soldier. He didn’t even know if he was of sound mind to do it now. He had woken up at three in the morning with an energy to fix things that just wouldn’t go away. All of his work was running fine, there was nothing requesting his aid on his email, and even the Compound seemed to be sleeping peacefully without any help from him. Which left him sitting in his workshop, staring at his computer and the innocent looking file hovering before him.

Tony had been enjoying seeing Bucky as he was now, he was afraid to tarnish it with more of these horrific images. Seeing Bucky play with his bots - U was finally warming up to him, ever since Bucky had bowed to her like a proper gentleman when she rolled past one day - and watching Peter watch Bucky in awe, like he was this awesome role model for him. Which considering the steady growing scent both men noticed the boy giving off, it was obvious why Peter was looking at Bucky that way.

He let out a quick burst of air, not realizing he had been holding his breath, glancing at the time and the date next to it on the computer screen. It was best to get this part over with, one view and he wouldn’t really need to see anything else. This video would prep him for what torture he would see in the BARF sessions with Bucky. And doing it now would give him three weeks to get the overprotective, over pampering, alpha possessive posturing out of his system before Bucky showed his most vulnerable self to him.

A sad little part of him really hoped Peter came into the workshop tomorrow, full-blown omega scent bombarding their senses, because then Tony would have an omega to focus on. And his thoughts and feelings toward Peter never considered going to that creep old Alpha/young Omega stereotype (Tony took a second to thank whatever gods out there that he had gotten rid of Obadiah while he had the chance, because he would have already been preying on Peter), so he knew he would just go total parent on the poor kid.

Oh, to dream was to wish. 

Tony looked back at the screen and accepted the smoothie DUM-E handed him with a small pout. “Really could use something stronger, buddy.”

DUM-E let out what could only be a series of strongly opinionated beeps against this idea. 

“Fine! Go...go work on your present to Bucky,” Tony ordered, watching as DUM-E lit up and rolled over to his own station. Which was in clear view and had an attachable fire extinguisher, of course. Sadly, DUM-E had already gone through three of the things for false alarms, but at least his little buddy was being safe. Tony sighed and tapped the file. “Here we go.”

The screen was grainy, the lighting much darker than all the others. The others, of course, were intended to record the progression of Bucky’s transformation, via the implants of the triggers, into the Winter Soldier. But they had hit a snag at the end of the last one, which was why Tony knew what he was going to be seeing. At least, he had an idea. 

Or he thought he did. 

Seeing Bucky Barnes strapped down and whining, back trying to arch and a wild look in his eyes as they rolled him into a small room with a single bed, did something to Tony. It was clear the man had no idea what was happening to him, the heat fever spreading across his skin, the cold of the room dramatically obvious. Tony could only stare as they easily removed the straps, no longer afraid of their little weapon. No, instead they began to removed his clothes like he was simply a doll before Bucky was weakly moved, trying pointlessly to push them off, but mostly just crying. In confusion and pain.

Tony felt his body tremble when the video shifted, like some creepy documentary from the early 1900s documenting the stages of omega development. 

Bucky Barnes had definitely been an alpha. The man was stubborn and fighting the entire way, even when his body was betraying him as the Hydra alpha chosen came into the room. And Tony was sick, so damn sick, because the sight of Bucky breaking himself free of his own omega positioning to elbow the alpha in the face, blood going everywhere, turned Tony on more than it should. At least considering the situation.

And Bucky did fight the entire ordeal. He whined and gasped and arched just like a good little omega, but he fought. With every whine the alpha got a new bruise, slap, scratch, blood. In retaliation, it was harsher for Bucky, but the newly made omega didn’t let that slow him down. 

Tony sat, not even wanting to touch himself despite his stupid alpha body growing hard, as the video came to a sudden abrupt end, the shock of the end causing Tony to stop breathing for just a moment. He could feel safe in the fact that he wasn't so screwed up that he got off on a rape video. Because that hadn’t been what turned him on. No, it had been Bucky’s pure determination to not be weakened that he was so easily able to connect that image to the Bucky who smiled at him today. 

He couldn’t, however, say that he didn’t just get hard to a snuff film. 

Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier, had once been an alpha and was made into an omega against his will. Naturally, his first heat was against his will and not made easy by his captors. Tony almost started laughing. Those Hydra idiots began to train a kidnapped, tortured man, whom they found to suddenly be an omega. They thought it would have been a good idea to just have a little fun and take advantage of that? To train him in a completely different way on top of everything else?

Tony leaned in toward the screen, where it had paused on the last frame. Bucky had turned to look at the camera, his face the most defiant thing Tony had ever seen. Not a single inch of regret evident, and there shouldn’t be, because the alpha that had just knotted him getting his head half-way ripped off by that fancy metal arm? Well, Tony couldn’t exactly fault the guy for the poetry in that.

It was then Tony realized he didn’t need to see any more of the videos, because this told him everything. He now knew the true horror Bucky went through, but on top of that he understood the grim lengths the man went through to protect himself and survive. Anything else Tony might see, he could look back on that very moment and know that James “Bucky” Barnes never left when the Winter Soldier was created. Whether they were separate or blended like paint in the man’s head didn’t matter, because Bucky made himself who he was now by sheer strength of will.

It was everything he could do to not go to Bucky’s floor right then and just hold the man. Sighing, and shutting down the computer, Tony picked up his smoothie and made his way to DUM-E’s station to help him with what he assumed was Christmas presents, pretending to himself that he didn’t just create a few more nightmares for himself.

*

Bucky hadn’t spoken to Steve in a while, which was encouraged by both Dr. Wright and Dr. Grodin. They had said something about him finding his own foundation before allowing any previous disturbances in. Dr. Grodin pointed out that it would be harder for him to enter the BARF treatment if he was feeling this unstable by Steve’s interference.

He understood and agreed, he did. He didn’t like what happened to him when he was in contact with his old friend, he didn’t like feeling that weak. To be honest, he wasn’t sure what gave him the urge to keep reaching out to Steve. But he kept himself from calling the man and instead dove into learning more about the world that he found himself in. 

He didn’t consider text messaging as actual speaking, not that he had ever sent a text message before he made the agreement. Steve had his number, of course, and he supposed he should give Steve a bit of credit for not calling him nonstop. That first text, sent two days after their last call, was confusing to say the least. It was more polite than Steve had been over the phone, less demanding and not as overly dominate. It sounded like, well, the Steve that Bucky’s fragmented memory held dear. 

_Bucky, it’s Steve. I’m just checking up on you. I miss you. I hope you are having a good day._

It was such a simple thing, and Bucky couldn’t help himself from responding. Unlike Steve, Bucky had been aware of technology changing, he wouldn’t have been a very good assassin throughout the years if he couldn’t immediately blend in. So, it was easy for him to respond back without needing Friday’s help.

_I’m fine. I’m sorry about the other day, things have been strange with me. But also good. Things are good._

Looking back, the text sounded ridiculous. There was so much more he could have said. But it didn’t matter, because it started a trend. 

They didn’t text constantly, not like he had seen Peter do on his phone. Just five or six messages a day. After a couple of weeks, it was like he had the real Steve Rogers back. There was no weird accusations of Tony hurting him and how Steve couldn’t stand to not see him. It was this perfect balance of distance and rebuilding a friendship. Like they should have done from the start, with a little space and room to grow.

Bucky was chuckling at one of Steve texts, telling him about how Barton had fallen out of a vent and spent a whole hour complaining about how the new maintenance crew were basically useless, when Tony passed by him for the fifth time in thirty minutes. He looked up, raising an eyebrow at the man. “Everything okay?”

“Huh?” Tony jumped, looking shocked that he was even standing so close to Bucky. “Yes, I’m fine. Definitely. Did you see my spanner?”

“It’s on Peter’s station,” Bucky told him. 

“Oh, so it is!” Tony replied, rushing away like he had been caught doing something bad. 

Bucky knew better than to tell Steve about this new behavior, so he merely sent a text back about how Barton needed to lose some weight and let that be all about that.

DUM-E rolled over and handed him the pink tennis ball. Bucky had learned early on that Tony, being no slouch, made sure his children could see color. Each tennis ball for DUM-E meant a different thing. The green ball was for tossing back and forth, yellow for chasing, and the pink one was for Bucky to bounce against the floor or other surfaces while DUM-E practiced his “stealth mode.” This, of course, was what Tony said he was doing, but Bucky was pretty sure the bot just got a kick out of stealing the ball and getting the sad human to make a fuss about getting it back.

Bucky didn’t mind, it gave him actual exercise for once. DUM-E was deceptively fast and was able to weave between the stations and back storage area like a pro. Bucky, with the diligence of the hunt created by the Winter Soldier in his head, gave the bot a run for his money for once. 

“Play nice children!” Tony yelled, when DUM-E went speeding past him with the pink ball held high, Bucky chasing behind him. Bucky passed by him just in time to hear, “I need to get government benefits for this day care.”

*

Bucky came to a complete halt when a new smell entered the workshop. Distracted, he handed over the pink ball to DUM-E and conceded defeat, so he could instead peek around the corner of one of the taller tool shelving units. DUM-E rolled up next to him in curiosity, claw arm reaching around his hip to see. They both saw her at the same time.

She was gorgeous, for one, and she immediately sparked a level of jealousy in Bucky that he wasn’t used to. Not just jealousy though, attraction as well. She stood before Tony in her prim business suit, and even without the heels she would have been taller than the man. Tony was clearly comfortable with her at a level that indicated they were once more than...whatever they were now. Which explained the jealousy, though Bucky didn’t want to think too hard on that.

Bucky watched DUM-E drop the pink ball on a side table and roll out to her, moving as casually as a bot could.

The woman turned to him with a smile, reaching out to gently caress where his sensor was. “Hello, DUM-E, how are we today?”

“Yes, and where is Bucky?” Tony asked, looking around. “You didn’t knock him unconscious, did you? I know it’s funny when you do that to daddy, but it’s not very nice. That pink ball of yours isn’t a contact sport.”

“Oh, he’s here?” the woman said in a delicate sort of tone, like she was keeping back some very strong emotions.

“Yeah, he is, why?” Tony replied, his tone countering with more stubbornness than necessary. Which told Bucky they had definitely been in a relationship. “Oh, damn, I hope DUM-E didn’t actually knock him out.”

“Maybe he’s giving us space?” she countered, one perfectly shaped strawberry-blonde eyebrow raising. “He’s already better than the others, in that case.”

“He is,” Tony admitted.

She suddenly smiled, the sight lighting up her face. And, yeah, jealousy and attraction. It was then that Bucky realized this was Pepper Potts. Bucky paused, straightening his shirt, figuring he couldn’t stay hiding forever and to do so would be awfully creepy of him. He walked out, grabbing the pink ball in the process. DUM-E perked up at the sight, while the other two watched him with different expressions. Tony’s was fond, as usual, and Pepper looked like she was judging him against every person who had ever met Tony in the entire universe. It was extremely intimidating. 

“Ma’am,” he greeted, before DUM-E bumped into him with enough relish it sent him into the nearest chair.

Pepper was startled into a laugh at the sight. “I’m Virginia Potts, Tony’s CEO. I’d shake your hand, but DUM-E would think I’m part of the game.”

“That’s fine, I’m pretty sure I only have the one to spare,” Bucky replied with a smile, turning most of his attention to the bot to give the other two a sense of privacy.

“Speaking of bots,” Pepper said, handing Tony a tablet that made him let out a dramatic whine. “Sign where indicated, you know the protocol.”

“Are you talking about my betrayer, the child who shall defy his father?” Tony asked, quickly signing the screen, swipe after swipe. It was proof of how much the man trusted this woman that he didn’t even look at the screen while he was doing it. 

Pepper scoffed. “Heaven forbid one of your bots don’t like soldering or living where multiple fire extinguishers are needed.”

“What does he want this year, huh? More rocks?” Tony pouted. And it was a true pout, Bucky noticed. 

“Butterfingers,” Pepper paused, sighing. “I really should change his name-” Tony made an outraged noise. “-is currently enjoying the Dewey Decimal system.”

“Pepper, my lovely, always in my heart,” Tony said, tone very seriously. “Did you just tell me that you want our son to become a librarian?”

“He can be who he chooses,” Pepper said primly. “Besides, that’s why he came to stay at my place, because you couldn’t stand his rock collection, and he kept ignoring your attempts to teach him the difference between your tools. Or have you forgotten all the arguments?”

“Yes, I know, he’s a momma’s boy,” Tony said, still pouting. He handed the tablet back over. “Anything else I should know, aside from getting our bot-child a proper gift this year?”

“You have a few meetings coming up, they’ve been added to your schedule.” Pepper shot him a glare just as he started to open his mouth. Bucky couldn’t help but watch in rapt attention as Pepper practically commanded Tony. She wasn’t an alpha, her beta scent was very clear, and he bent to her will so easily. And it wasn’t a sexual thing, Bucky could tell it was something he had done before they were even together. It brought Tony into a whole new light.

“Fine, anything else?” Tony asked.

“Yes, there’s this,” Pepper said, voice hesitant. “It came in the mail this morning, hand delivered. We scanned it, but there hasn’t been any sign of tampering or potential...well, you probably won’t blow up like usually. I have no idea who it is from, though.”

“This isn’t addressed to me,” Tony mentioned.

“Which is why I’m giving it to you, first,” Pepper said pointedly, glancing over a Bucky.

Bucky sat up and actually paid attention. “What is it?”

“A letter, apparently,” Tony said.

“It was addressed to you and hand delivered here, at the Tower, but the person who delivered it was paid through a third party delivery service. We did open it to do the usual checks for bio-agents and that sort of thing. If anyone read it, the details weren’t passed on to me,” Pepper said. “I thought it would be best for Tony to look at it first, if that’s okay with you.”

“Yes, no, that’s probably the better idea,” Bucky said, feeling tension encase his entire body. He could see both Tony and Pepper’s nostril flare as the scent of his distress hit him.

“Tony,” she breathed out, subconsciously take a step closer to Bucky. And he knew it was in her nature to just calm him, that there wasn’t anything else to it, but he felt himself stiffen up even more. She stopped moving the moment his scent turned even more sour. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intimidate you. Should I leave?”

“No, you’re fine, Miss Potts,” he replied, swallowing. He had to get use to more people, that’s what Dr. Wright kept telling him. The more scents he associated with safety the better off he was going to be. “I’m just on edge, I’m not used to meeting new people.”

“I’m sure,” she said with a smile. She turned back to Tony, who was squinting at the letter. “What’s the verdict?”

“The verdict is I might need reading glasses,” Tony muttered. “So, Snowflake, you know a girl named Rebecca? Her handwriting is really tiny. I haven't seen cursive like this outside of a museum in years. And apparently, she thinks the post office is run by Nazis intent on stealing our secrets.”

“Rebecca?” Bucky repeated. His mind flashed with the image of a little girl with curly brown hair, glaring up at him and refusing to eat her peas. Another image of the same girl, around the age of fourteen, their eyes meeting in the mirror as he pulled on his service jacket. If his memory was correct, and he knew it probably wasn’t, that was the last time he saw her. “My sister is still alive?”

“If this letter is any indication, she is very much alive and wants to see you,” Tony said, still skimming the page. “She saw your story on the news and has been trying to find out where you were since then.”

Tony handed the letter over and Bucky quickly read through it, knowing he’d end up reading it more thoroughly later. He wanted to get the basic details in now, before the emotions in his throat tried to overwhelm him. “My sister is alive and... I’m an uncle.”

“More than that,” Tony chuckled. “Did your family always reproduce like that? You have five great-nephews from one niece alone.” He shot a grin to Pepper. “We have got to get a family tree built as soon as possible. It can be his gift to her for taking so long to get back from the war.”

“Tony,” Pepper said in a tone that spoke of familiarity with Tony’s ability to be inappropriate. She turned to Bucky, her expression softening. “I can get one made up for you, if you’d like. That way you can know who you’ll be meeting If you decide to meet Rebecca, that is.”

“Of course he’s going to meet with her!” Tony said, his enthusiasm almost catching enough for Bucky to immediately agree.

Pepper shot Tony a look that quieted the man down pretty quickly, before turning back to Bucky. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t meet with her, but take your time deciding. Maybe you should try writing her back first. I can find the delivery service she used to make sure it gets back to her, since she isn’t that keen on the post office.”

“I think-” Bucky cut himself off, nerves hitting him from having to make such a huge decision that could affect the rest of his life. This could reconnect him to a past that even Steve Rogers couldn’t get him back in touch with. And with Rebecca having family alive and well today, it would also help connect him to the future. “I want to think about it, I don’t know what I’d even write.”

“I’ll get the information for the delivery so it’s ready for you,” Pepper said, before turning her attention back to Tony. “And you, remember the R&D meeting on Friday. Daniels has been sending me emails nonstop about some exciting development they’ve made that you haven’t even glanced at.”

“Because it’s Daniels,” Tony said in an obvious tone.

Pepper merely raised an eyebrow.

“Fine, I’ll be there.”

“Thank you,” Pepper said, gathering her things. She paused on her way out and looked at Bucky, head tilting. “I was hesitant to meet you, considering what happened in Siberia, but I can see Tony was correct in giving you a chance. That will not, however, stop me from protecting Tony from you and himself if I need to, do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he quickly replied.

“Good, you both have a lovely afternoon.” 

They both watched her leave the workshop in silence, before Bucky turned to Tony with a small smile. “I like her.”

*

Steve’s response to Rebecca was one of elation and left Bucky nervously reading text after text about how it would help Bucky be more like himself, be more like they used to be. Bucky understood that Steve lived in a weird place where it was hard for him to reconcile the past with today. It had to of been hard to practically blink and find yourself in a new place, new time. Bucky had the strange benefit of Hydra waking him up and letting him adapt just enough to whatever time he was in to become useful.

_Buck, you can’t possibly be thinking of meeting her without me, though. You promised we’d meet and this is the perfect chance for us to be together._

And there it was, the one piece of Bucky’s life that just keep churning his stomach over and over again. Something kept telling him there was something wrong here, wrong with Steve’s behavior when they spoke on the phone and wrong with the way Bucky just physically responded to him. It was fully unnatural, like something was controlling them. 

Bucky didn’t respond to that last text and set his phone to the side. 

He glanced at one of the books he had been reading. In it, the author talked about how omegas had superior emotional flexibility than the other secondary genders, allowing them to make bonds in unique and even dangerous situations in order to survive. It was that very ability that abusive alphas used to manipulate omegas into mating bonds and essentially emotional servitude. The idea made Bucky sick to his stomach, a strange feeling of familiarity to it making him put the book down. He hadn’t picked it back up since.

He hated how Steve or Hydra - how anyone really - made him question those very things about himself, because he in truth couldn’t remember being in a healthy relationship in his entire life. 

Bucky rubbed at his eyes. He needed out of there, in the sunlight and fresh air before he went crazy. “Miss Friday?”

“Yes, Mister Barnes?”

“Do I still need to be with Tony if I want to leave the Tower?” he asked, standing up and pacing, feeling somewhat like a caged tiger.

“With your probationary period ended you have been allowed a bit more flexibility,” Friday informed him. “You can not leave the Tower alone, due to the unique and unknown quality of your case. However, with input from the parole board, Boss has compiled a list of individuals that can accompany you whenever you wish to leave the Tower. Would you like me to run through the list and find one available to you now?”

“Yes, please, I need out of here,” Bucky whispered, walking over to the window. 

“Very well,” Friday said. She was silent for a while, though it couldn’t have been longer than five minutes or so. “Mister Barnes? Mister Parker will meet you in the Tower lobby in thirty minutes.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, but realized he shouldn’t be surprised. Peter Parker was Spider-Man, after all. The kid had already proved he could probably tie Bucky up and leave him helpless without any aid from outsiders. The fact that Peter could take control of the situation should Bucky lose control - though, lately, that usually involved curling up in a ball and panicking - was reassuring.

Realizing he wouldn’t have enough time to actually shower, he settled for a quick change of clothes. He was in the elevator when he realized he forgot his phone and had to have Friday reverse his direction. Finally, though, he was in the Tower lobby, hovering nervously and feeling somewhat like a hobo as all the men in business suits walked in and out of the doors. He placed himself against the wall where he could keep an eye on the entrance and the elevator, feeling a nervousness inside him. 

He’d only left the Tower for his therapy sessions so far, excluding the one lunch with Tony. The newness of the idea settled just fine, but it didn’t stop the nerves of venturing out into the busy New York streets from building up. In fact, he had almost talked himself out of it when Peter bounced up next to him, a wide grin on his face.

“Hello, Mister Barnes!” Peter greeted. “This is awesome, where would you like to go? We can do the tourist thing, but they are going to be super packed right about now. Oh! Oh! We could go to the zoo! They have a new baby elephant.”

“Woah, kid,” Bucky replied, holding up his hand. “How about a nice walk. I just really need some fresh air.”

“Fresh air, huh?” Peter asked. “We can go to Central Park, it’s the freshest air you’re going to get around here.”

“That sounds just fine,” Bucky said, trying to not laugh at Peter’s description.

Bucky found it ironic that they had to take a car - one of Tony’s personal drivers, as the man wouldn’t dare let them pay for a taxi - to get to a place for a leisurely walk instead of simply walking there, but Bucky remember the New York of his era having strange rules that didn’t quite make sense either. For his part, Peter was talking a mile a minute about his friend Ned, who apparently had begged to join them. When Peter had told him no, Ned had officially declared their friendship over. Peter rolled his eyes when Bucky showed concern. “He’s going to be throwing rocks at my window and apologizing at the top of his lungs come midnight.”

That seemed a strange way for a friend to apologize, but Bucky didn’t say anything.

Walking through Central Park felt much the same as it had long ago, just with more people and businesses. His nervousness vanished quickly when he realized people were barely paying him any attention, giving him the freedom to laugh at Peter’s random vocalized thoughts and turn his face to the sun like it was the most important thing in the world. They settle on a slope of trimmed grass, the trees partially hiding them from the pathway. Bucky followed Peter’s example and laid on his back, letting one of his hands trail along the blades of grass, enjoying how the tips of the grass tickled his palm.

“Sure is warm out today,” Peter muttered.

“Hmm.” Bucky glanced over, noticing how flushed Peter’s face was and wondered if maybe they should start heading back. It didn’t seem that hot out to him, but the kid was super-powered and Bucky didn’t know if that had any unique effects on him.

“Do you smell that?” Peter asked, nose wrinkling.

“Smell what?” Bucky asked, before the scent hit his own nose. It was that of an alpha, a very potent one, and it was enticing. At least to Bucky, it smelled like a cool morning mixed with apple pie. It looked like it was having the opposite effect on Peter.

A shadow fell over them and Bucky looked up, trying to see the face hidden in shadow. “Bucky? I knew it was you! How did you get out?”

“Steve?” Bucky asked, scrambling to get up. He felt Steve’s hands on him, swallowing at how large they felt despite the man being the same size as usual, helping him up and steadying him on his feet. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Peter get to his feet, groaning softly as though he were in some kind of pain.

“I don’t even care, I could smell you on the other side of the treeline. My handler isn’t going to be too happy with me, I kinda just took off, but I had to take a chance it was you,” Steve said breathlessly, crowding into Bucky’s space, nostril flaring as he clearly began scenting the air around Bucky.

“Steve-” Bucky started.

“You do look healthy,” Steve said, voice low like he was more talking to himself than anything. The man reached out and cupped Bucky’s cheek, ignoring Bucky’s flinch. His other hand trailed down Bucky’s single arm in order to grip his hand tightly and raise it to press Bucky’s palm against Steve’s chest. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Bucky tried to jerk his hand away, but Steve’s grip tightened. He met Steve’s blue eyes, noticing the near feverish fervor to them, like they used to look right before a heat or when Steve’s fever would peak after catching pneumonia pre-serum days. “Steve, let go of me.”

“I can’t, not again. I can’t let him have you,” Steve whispered intently.

“Hey,” Peter snapped, taking a couple of shaky steps toward them. Using his superior strength, Peter pushed himself between Bucky and Steve, the shock of the kid being able to even make them budge making Steve let go. “He said to back off. And I know who you are, Mister Rogers. I know what you did to Mister Stark. And you know what? You’re nothing but a bully!”

Steve jerked back at Peter’s words. “I am not a bully. Bucky, come on, we need to be alone, okay? We need to talk.”

“I-I can’t, Steve, not yet,” Bucky said. He opened his mouth to say more, before instinct caused him to reach for Peter and wrap his arm around the kid’s waist before the boy was able to collapse to the ground. “Peter? Peter!”

“Buck, his scent…” Steve took a couple steps back when Bucky let out a deep, rolling growl. The sound was purely primal, like that of a lioness defending its cub. “He’s going into heat, Buck. You need to get him somewhere safe. We should take him to the Compound. They have an omega room there. We can take care of him, okay?”

Bucky eased Peter to the ground and hovered over him, allowing the boy to grasp at his shirt as he panted, eyes looking up at him wide and glassy and clearly expecting Bucky to protect him. His growl kept going, emitting loud and steady enough that Steve got the picture to keep his distance. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed Tony’s cell phone, muttering praises to Peter as it rang.

“Don’t tell me Peter got you guys lost,” was Tony’s greeting. “I know the boy is used to swinging around on webs, but he’s got to have a better sense of direction than that. Or did you just miss me that much?”

“Tony-” Bucky said, ignoring the way his voice sounded hoarse from fear. He was in the middle of Central Park with a presenting omega and an alpha that couldn’t seem to stop inching toward him. He growled at Steve again, baring his teeth this time. 

“You can’t let Tony near this kid, Buck! You’re crazy if you think letting tht man corrupt him is a good idea,” Steve snapped. “You have to bring him home with us, okay? I won’t mind, he can stay with us.”

“Snowflake,” Tony said, all joking gone. It was clear the man had heard at least a fraction of what was said. “What’s going on?”

“Peter is presenting,” Bucky whispered, breaking his gaze with Steve to looked down at Peter, who let out a whine and buried his face against Bucky’s thigh. “And... Steve’s here.”

“Stay on the line with me, Bucky, I’m on my way.” Tony ordered. “Whatever you do, don’t let Steve touch him. I won’t be held responsible if that man gets his alpha scent on my son. I mean - never mind, no point in arguing about that slip up now.”

“It’s going to be okay, Peter,” Bucky told the kid, who had essentially curled himself around Bucky, letting out sharp breaths between whines. “Tony is on his way and I’ve got a pretty comfy omega room you get to break in, okay?”

“Buck-” Steve said, his voice far too close to them than he should be.

Bucky’s eyes snapped up, leveling Steve with a glare. “Does right now really seem like the time, Steve? Does it?”

“But, I might not get another chance-”

“I don’t care right now,” Bucky said, not even caring that Tony could hear every damn word they were saying. “You need to leave. If you’re still here when Tony gets here, I’m not going to be defending you. I won’t protect you at all. So if you want to be able to have the talk you’re so desperate to have with me, then you need to go.”

“So you’re choosing Tony Stark over me?” Steve demanded.

“Right now that isn’t even the question,” Bucky growled. “Right now, I’m choosing a presenting kid who needs the guy who might as well be his father be the only alpha around him and not some over-bearing hot shot who can’t understand the words coming out of my mouth.” 

“Buck…”

“Just go,” Bucky said, trying to ignore just how tired his voice sounded. He let his gaze rest back on Peter, he was peeking up at him through the corner of his eye, tremors wracking his body. He said nothing and didn’t bother to look up when he heard Steve’s footsteps walk past. He ignored the way his body jerked, almost painfully, when Steve touched his shoulder. Bucky almost opened his mouth to yell at the alpha, but hearing Steve continue on allowed Bucky to focus on what was actually important.

No, Bucky focused on Peter, not looking up again until he could smell the familiar scent of Tony Stark, the defensive tension in his body finally starting to melt away as their eyes met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my boss got quarantined - due to exposure, he doesn't have COVID. But that sadly means, I now have to work his hours as well (because people are jerks and heaven forbid a bank not have a manager present for you to yell at). I'll probably be too tired to work too hard on this, so not sure when the next update will be. On the other hand, I'm writing it via Google Docs, so I can fiddle around with the next chapter during downtime on my phone. Woo for that part.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently working 2 9.5 hr shifts cause insomnia and woo chapter!

“How is he doing?” Rhodey asked.

“Holding up like a champ,” Tony said, sounding tired. He hadn’t slept since the night before Peter had gone into heat. He hadn’t allowed himself to leave the hallway outside the omega room originally intended for Bucky. Tony was actually shocked that he had spared a moment alerting May to Peter’s predicament. His entire focus for the past three days had been that door, the solid section of wood that blocked out all sound and scent that separated him from his boy. 

“You still okay with Barnes being in there with him?” Rhodey asked.

“Come on, platypus. You were here when I got them back up here,” Tony said, rubbing the side of his face, ignoring the extra scruff he was developing. “The moment I got to them, Bucky shifted from protective alpha to motherly omega. I’m keeping an eye on the cameras, but trust me when I say this: nothing bad is going on in there. Just an older omega showing a younger one how to handle a heat, and even then only Peter is in heat.”

“An older one who doesn’t even know how to handle a heat,” Rhodey pointed out.

“Apparently, it’s mostly instinct. Or cuddling and I think Snowflake is singing to him occasionally,” Tony said, shuffling from foot to foot. “Look, I’d show you the feed, but they are naked-”

“Tones-”

“-and it’s not sexual, Rhodey,” Tony insisted. “It’s like they’re creating some weird parental bond or something. They are completely safe and Dr. Wright says it’s normal. Apparently this is what normally happens in non-industrialized countries, instead of the isolation method we have here in the States. It’s a good thing. Dr. Wright thinks it might even help stabilize some of those weird symptoms Bucky has been having. It’s giving him focus.”

“Okay, fine,” Rhodey said, raising his hands in defeat. “That’s not why I stopped by, anyway.”

Tony looked up from where he was resettling in his own little nest he had made for himself outside the omega room’s door. He planned to be there waiting when they emerged to get them to a nice bath and proper food. He took a moment to adjust his back pillow before waving for Rhodey to continue.

“It’s about Rogers,” Rhodey said, making a point to ignore the sharp growl Tony let out. “He escaped his handler to get to Bucky that day, did you know?”

“Figured he had to, since there weren’t any strange scents in that clearing,” Tony said. “Please tell me he’s getting punished. He put an omega in danger. He better as hell be getting punished.”

“Actually, they had to put him in isolation,” Rhodey said, watching Tony’s reaction carefully. Tony’s eyes narrowed in thought, but otherwise the man gave no indication that what he heard was unusual. “They were in town on a routine supply run while also picking up Wilson from a two-day stint of surveillance the man had been doing. Rogers’ handler was used to Rogers drifting off, so he didn’t think anything of it when he saw Rogers wander into Central Park. Apparently, Barton had been frustrating Rogers all morning so his handler figured it was a good idea to let them have a little separation.”

“Please-” Tony grounded out.

“Yes, Tones, the guy is officially fired.” Rhodey drew in a deep breath before continuing, worried about whether the conversation would stay calm. And if it did then if he’d have to worry about a bigger blow out later. “When Rogers got back to them, they had already heard an omega had been scented as presenting in the park, so the handlers quickly got Rogers, Barton, and Wilson in the car and ushered them back to the Compound. Rogers started showing signs of agitation almost immediately, literally the moment the car door was shut.”

“And? So he was throwing a fit about not getting to take his little Bucky home,” Tony said snidely. 

“He attacked and injured five people trying to get a car of his own once they got to the Compound,” Rhodey told him. “He kept yelling that they were trying to keep ‘him’ from him. I’m sure you can guess who he meant.”

“Bucky,” Tony said, letting his head drop back and hit the wall. “This makes no sense. Rogers has always been obsessed with Bucky, but never to this extent. Sure, it’s gotten worse over the years...”

“Worse? He tried to kill you with his shield,” Rhodey growled.

Tony waved a hand, like it was old news, which he knew just made Rhodey even angrier. It was better to let Rhodey hold the anger right now than him, he had two omegas to worry about. Peter didn’t need to smell anything but happiness and compassion off him when they emerged. “It’s more than that. It’s like… Rhodey, it’s like they're bonded and being forced apart. It would explain why Bucky gets sick when he has a moment of closeness to him, only for his body to realize it can’t fulfill what Rogers wants. That would be... Nazi level torture, they did that kind of stuff in concentration camps to see if the Jews bonded as strongly as they did.”

“What are you saying? If Peter hadn’t presented then Barnes would be off the grid with Rogers right now?”

“No,” Tony said, shaking his head. “Bucky has been fighting whatever it is since day one. It’s not...it’s not a real bond and Bucky’s body, at least part of it - most likely the alpha side, refuses to bend to it. Rogers is just weak enough and, let’s face it, in love enough to believe it’s true. He’s going to use whatever excuse he can to get what he wants.”

“It’s not that simple,” Rhodey said.

“No, probably not, but I’m on to something,” Tony insisted. “Any idea what they’re going to do with Rogers?”

“He’s calmed down, so they’re releasing him to his room, but he’s under house arrest until they get a medical and psyche eval on him,” Rhodey replied. “I’m going to have Dr. Wright look him over, see if there’s anything to your theory. It would be nice if it was that simple, if there was an excuse past Rogers just being an abusive bastard.”

“That’s going to be part of it no matter what,” he said. 

“I’ve got to go, but do you need anything?” Rhodey asked, straightening up and taking a backward step toward the elevator. 

Tony shook his head. “No, I’m good. I think I’ll take a nap. Not sure how much longer I have to wait for my boys, but I figure some shut-eye would be good.”

*

Bucky felt warmth along his side and his arm wrapped around a sweaty, naked waist. He breathed in, the smell of omega and Peter hitting his senses. The urge to pamper and comfort raced through him, and he opened his eyes to see if Peter was awake, knowing the boy had to be hungry. 

Peter was fast asleep, looking young and refreshed. He didn’t look like he had just underwent his first heat, but then Bucky supposed most omegas didn’t have an overbearing mother hen like himself ensuring they stayed warm and hydrated. Most of the past few days had been a bit of a blur to Bucky, but he remembered most of the important details. 

He remembered Peter being completely out of it by the time they had made it to the omega room. Bucky had given Tony a brief hug before pushing the alpha out of the room and shutting the door, demanding for Friday to seal them in unless there was an emergency. He had proceeded to undress Peter to make him much more comfortable and, using the continuous flow of water from the fountain, had washed off as much of the sweat as he could. By this point, Bucky had been working on an instinctive overdrive, but he didn’t question it.

Then he built Peter a small nest, keeping it basic so Peter could change it if he liked. By the time he had Peter bundled up under a couple blankets inside the cozy space the boy had become more aware. It had taken Bucky a bit to explain to Peter that he was not interested in him in that way, that he was there to keep him safe and healthy. In any other situation, Bucky probably would have laughed, but Peter’s immediate wild-eyed look made Bucky just want to take care of him even more.

And Bucky had done just that. He had given Peter as much privacy as he could when the boy absolutely needed it. He ensured Peter stayed as clean as possible and held him between the stronger waves. The old lullaby his mother had sung to them helped pull Peter into a light sleep here and there, more than he would have got if he had been by himself or with an alpha. He had even got Peter to drink water and eat some food.

Peter grunted, eyes fluttering open. “Mister Barnes?”

“Hey, I think you can call me Bucky at this point,” he replied, teasingly. He reached up and gently brushed aside a few sweaty locks of hair from Peter’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Peter admitted, blinking his eyes open wider. “Actually, a lot better. I thought I would feel gross and sore after a heat.”

“I think people usually do because they are alone without anyone to take care of them,” Bucky said. “Are you hungry? We should get you some soup.”

“I want a cheeseburger,” Peter said.

“You just lived off of water and granola for nearly five days, you’re getting soup,” Bucky insisted. He sat up and opened one of the clear drawers near the nesting area. He pulled out a pair of soft sweat pants and a t-shirt. “These are meant for me, but they’ll fit you if you tie the drawstring.”

“Thanks,” Peter said, softly. He sat there, fiddling with the hem of the pants, neck red from a blush. 

“Peter?”

“What...why did you stay with me?” he asked in a small voice. “We always heard in school that unless it’s an alpha wanting to mate with you, then us omegas are stuck being by ourselves. And, well, this wasn’t nearly as…”

“Sex-fueled?” Bucky guessed.

“Yeah, I mean, there was the, uh, you know…” Peter mumbled, blushing harder. It was true, Peter had produced a lot of slick and had spent the majority of the time hard, a fact that Bucky ignored in favor of making sure Peter was comfortable overall.

“Maybe what you needed more was to be cared for,” Bucky said, reaching out and running his fingers through Peter’s hair. He smiled with Peter practically purred and pressed his head into Bucky’s hand. “You know, mating and bonding? All that isn’t just about sex, you have to care about the person. Like you would family. Tony and...you are the closest I have to a family right now, Peter, and I am so happy I got to make this easier for you.”

Peter let go of his grip on the sweat pants and chose instead to crawl over to Bucky, practically curling up in his lap and resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder. “I like that we’re family. And I won’t tell anyone that you have a good singing voice, as long as you sing me to sleep on occasion.”

Bucky chuckled. “Deal. Now get dressed, and we’ll get something to eat.”

“Soup?”

“Yes, soup,” Bucky replied. “But if you tolerate that then you can have something heavier about an hour later, okay? I just don’t want you getting sick.”

Peter looked up at him, obviously not in any real rush to get out of his spot in Bucky’s lap. “Yes, mom.”

“Brat,” Bucky said fondly. He cleared his throat. “You might want to get dressed, I’m about to give Friday permission to let the door open. You know Tony is going to be through it the second he can to check on you.”

Peter sighed and reached for the clothes. “You better get decent too, or it won’t be me he's looking at. And don’t give me that look, like you haven’t noticed him eye-balling you every five seconds.”

“That doesn’t mean anything, Peter,” Bucky said, reaching for his own clothes. 

“Okay, I get it, you’re not ready for that talk,” Peter said, raising his hands, the pants nearly dropping to his ankles as a result. Blushing, Peter grabbed them and quickly tied the drawstring. “But you have to admit, Mister Stark would be a much better option for you then Mister Rogers.”

“Peter,” Bucky said, not sure where the boy was going with this. 

“I’m just saying, it was creepy how he was touching you,” Peter muttered as he pulled on his shirt. When Peter’s head popped back out he looked over at a now clothed Bucky. “You got to take care of me, can’t I take care of you? He’s no good, Bucky.”

Bucky felt his heart melt at the determined look on Peter’s face. He walked over and wrapped his arm around Peter’s shoulders, enjoying the way the boy immediately held onto him. Peter was definitely something precious, something of worth to take care of. “I’m going to be fine, Peter, you don’t need to worry.”

“As long as you promise to not let him get to you,” Peter said stubbornly, tucking his face under Bucky’s chin. “He can’t have you. You’re ours.”

Bucky chuckled. “Well, in that case, Miss Friday? Unseal the door.”

*

Tony was honestly about to break down the entrance to the omega room when he heard the tell-tale sign of the door locks clicking as they unlocked. He jumped to his feet, ignoring the moment of dizziness that hit him from barely any food or sleep, and waited as patiently as he could as the door opened to reveal Bucky. The man exited first, giving Tony a small smile, before stepping aside to reveal a tired but completely refreshed looking Peter.

“Hey, buddy,” Tony said softly, reaching out a hand. He was a bit surprised when Peter immediately stepped forward into his embrace, smelling of lingering heat and the unique scent that was Peter Parker. “You’re looking good. I’m glad, very glad. I’m so proud of you.”

He grinned when Peter buried his nose against his neck and breathed in deep. Looking over the kid’s shoulder, he couldn’t help but see the content and satisfied look on Bucky’s face.

“He should eat,” Bucky commented. Before Peter could talk, and Tony could feel the boy open his mouth, Bucky said, “Soup first, no cheeseburgers.”

Peter grunted in despair, causing Tony to laugh. “He has a point, kiddo. Where would you like to eat, hmm? You two can go get cleaned up and I’ll meet you there.”

“Can we eat upstairs, in the workshop? I haven’t been able to check up on my simulations in a while,” Peter said.

“Absolutely, after you and Bucky clean yourselves off, okay?” Tony said, untangling himself from Peter’s hold. “I’ll go get you both some soup and see you there.”

It took all of his willpower to step back and head for the elevator, but seeing Bucky begin to guide Peter in the direction of the bathroom made it a bit easier. Determined to make it back to them as fast as possible, Tony quickly made his way to the common room kitchen, knowing it would be empty at this time of day. Besides, it was the only fully stocked kitchen in the entire Tower.

He opened the refrigerator to find a tub of homemade stew, a post-it note tacked on the top saying it was for Peter from Aunt May. Proof that Tony had been in his own world of isolation, he had not talked to the woman since the day Peter had gone into heat. Odds were Pepper or Happy had picked up the soup for them.

“Friday? Send May a notification that Peter is clear from his heat and I’ll have him call her later today,” Tony said as he heated the stew up. It was mostly broth, with a few vegetables and beef thrown in. Perfect for Peter’s empty stomach.

He wasn’t shocked that he made it to the workshop first, knowing the two must be enjoying getting clean for the first time in nearly a week. He placed the soup on a side table, clearing off a few odds and ends as he did so. He picked up his own bowl and took a sip, cursing when it burnt his mouth, as he walked over to where one of his latest renditions of the Iron Man gauntlets lay. 

It wasn’t much longer before the elevator pinged and he heard Peter’s voice talking at a rapid pace, Bucky’s interjecting only to fuel the kid on. It made Tony smile, a warmth of happiness spreading through him. “Lunch is served!”

“This is Aunt May’s!” Peter exclaimed after his first sip. He grew quiet, sitting on the stool at his personal workstation. “She used to make this for Uncle Ben...after his heat.”

“Peter?” Tony asked, watching the kid sniff, like he was holding back tears. Bucky shook his head, indicating to just let him talk.

“I never really thought of him as an omega, you know?” Peter said between spoonfuls. “He never fit the stereotype. Aunt May loved him so much, she still does.”

“If she loved him, then he had to be a great man,” Tony said, “cause she’s a great woman.”

“Yeah,” Peter said, letting out a sigh. “So...does this mean I can’t be an Avenger anymore?”

“What do you mean?” Tony asked, confused.

“He’s worried that he can’t fight crime with you if he’s an omega,” Bucky said, softly.

Tony met Bucky’s eyes, before looking over at Peter. It felt weird, but a part of him felt like he was answering this question for both of them. He could feel a tension in Bucky, despite them being at least four feet apart. He cleared his throat. “Peter, I can’t stop you from being a superhero. You’ve already become one. Being an omega doesn’t change who you are, it’s just another part of yourself. In the end, you’re still Spider-Man. Even if you’re not with the Avengers, you’re still a superhero and I’ll still be fighting against the bad guys with you.”

Peter smiled, ducking his head down as he finished his meal. 

Tony leaned back, glancing over at Bucky. “That goes for you, too, you know? If you ever get the clearance to fight crime, I’d fight with you.”

“That would be good,” Bucky nodded, giving him a smirk. “I hear you’re good with explosions. I do like those.”

“Hey, I’m trying to not cause collateral damage these days,” Tony insisted. He watched Bucky grin, a feeling of pure happiness overtaking him. He could definitely get used to this feeling of completion, of feeling like everything was going perfectly in his little corner of the world.

And that is what made him realize that he couldn’t let Steve Rogers ruin this. Tony had bowed down for a lot of people. He’d still bow down for Rhodey and Pepper. He’d now bow down for Bucky and Peter. But he would never bow down to Steve Rogers and let that man ruin what little family he had created for himself. 

With a small sense of guilt, Tony realized he was sitting there, listening to Bucky mother hen Peter into eating the rest of his own food while also trying to plan a way to keep Steve Rogers away from them forever. All without seeing if Bucky really wanted that, like Tony was his alpha and had the very right to make such a decision. Tony couldn’t imagine asking Bucky to choose, but something had to be done. Tony had to make some kind of move, some kind of final action.

Or at the very least confronting the man for even breathing near Peter when the kid had presented. Tony forced himself to not think about what he wanted to do in retaliation to the fear he had seen in Bucky’s eyes, a strong alpha looking so relieved to see him so that he could enter omega mode. Bucky had only wanted one thing and one thing only: to keep Peter safe. Rogers put him in a position where he couldn’t fully do that and Tony would never forgive the man for that. 

“Tony?” Bucky asked, looking over at him, nostrils flaring. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Tony replied, letting out a chuckle. “Job thoughts. I’m fine.”

Bucky nodded, turning his attention back to Peter. Tony breathed in deep and forced the happy emotions from across the room to calm. Now was not the time for vengeance, no matter how much the idea appealed to him. No, that could come on a later day.

“I’m full, Bucky, stop!” Peter said, laughing and pushing the older man away. 

“Fine, play on your phone,” Bucky said, setting the nearly empty bowl to the side. “We’ll get those cheeseburgers in a couple hours if you’re hungry again.”

“Sure, that sounds-” Peter cut himself off, staring down at his phone. “Oh, no. Mister Stark! You didn’t tell Ned what happened?”

“Why does he get to be Bucky, but I get stuck as old man Mister Stark?” Tony demanded, before actually considering Peter’s question. “I didn’t really think of it, to be honest.”

“Oh my god, he’s got to be freaking out!” Peter exclaimed, quickly putting his phone to his ear and rushing to the back of the workshop in an attempt for privacy.

“Don’t ask,” Tony immediately said when Bucky turned toward him with a raised eyebrow. “Ned is...well, I almost want to call him Peter’s Rhodey, but even I think they are weirder than we’ve ever been.”

“Sure,” Bucky replied with a slight smirk.

“Hey, me and my Rhodey-bear are perfectly normal best friends of a masculine nature I’ll have you know!” Tony insisted, just to enjoy the chuckle Bucky didn’t even bother to hide.

*

Heavy hands were pressing down, down, down against his lower back until he had no choice but to allow his chest to touch the surface of the hard bed. A hand clutched painfully at his hip and there was pain, it was pain everywhere. Bucky found himself whimpering, begging, but for what he didn’t know. He reached outward, trying to crawl away, trying to push back. He needed the touch, but he didn’t want it.

His veins burned and his throat ached from screams, but no one was helping him, no one cared. Breathing was painful, coming in gasps because he couldn’t control his body at all. He had no control over anything, and they just stood around him, waiting their turn. 

The rough hands were bruising, making him bleed. He was bleeding and they didn’t care. He knew he was crying now, not even capable of hiding the sound because of them. The hands were turning softer and it was wrong, more wrong. It was better when they were rough and harsh, because it meant he wouldn’t pretend. But the softness just wouldn’t stop.

It had to stop.

Trembling, body jerking as he tried his hardest to fight their control, their domination, and the violent pain of penetration, Bucky heard a soft voice telling him it was okay, to breathe. It was enough to break him free, to snap him awake in an instant. 

“Shh, shh, you’re okay, Snowflake,” the voice said, tone soft and caring. “James, you need to breathe, even super humans breathe.”

Bucky’s eyes snapped open, looking around desperately, flinching at the shadow sitting at the edge of his bed. 

The figures hand kept stroking his shoulder, humming soft words that should have calmed him down but just caused the nerves inside him to skyrocket. He could still feel their touch, the pain and utter humiliation. And this shadow’s touch wasn’t any different in the state he was in. His heart beat wouldn’t slow, the fear wouldn’t go down. 

“Boss-” a female said, tone soft, but no less dangerous.

Bucky lashed out, hand impacting as hard as he could into the shadow’s chest, watching as he flew off the bed and toppled backward. There was a loud thud as the figure slammed into the dresser a few feet away. “Stop touching me! Why can’t you all stop touching me?!”

“Okay! Ow, yeah, okay,” the shadow said. “You’re rules, Snowflake. Fri, dim lights please.”

His eyes fluttered, body tensing as the ceiling lights slowly switched on, revealing a disheveled Tony Stark painfully getting to his feet. The man raised his hands, as though trying to show he was no harm to Bucky. Bucky nearly snorted at the thought, because right then he honestly felt like even Tony was out to hurt him. 

“Get out, Tony,” Bucky ordered, letting his sleep rough voice do most of the growl for him. “Please, we’re good, but please.”

Tony nodded, brown eyes wide and watery, as he turned and left the room. He paused at the door. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come in. Friday said your heart rate was dangerously high, I didn’t think. That’s on me.”

Bucky nodded, turning his head away. “Just go. I get it, but, please. Just go.”

*

Tony Stark strode into the Compound wearing one of his finer suits, determined to start off with his strongest layer of armor, even if that was his net worth. Today was probably not the best day for Pepper to give him the day off, because after being woken up by a worried Friday and then thrown across the room by a nightmare induced Winter Soldier he wasn’t in the best of moods. And that was the kicker, the wonderful little neon sprinkle of his night and morning sundae to keep the drive of pure anger raging in him to give him the strength to walk through the doors to the Compound, knowing he was going to see his former teammates. 

Because if there was one thing Bucky Barnes could do without even trying, it was look at you with heartbroken eyes that made your own heart weep for them. That was what happened last night when the poor man had left his nightmare. The fear there had echoed around the room with every hoarse word uttered. Tony didn’t even have to be an alpha to want to hunt down everyone who had ever touched the man and demand his pound of flesh.

This was the least Tony could do. Bucky was in no state to confront Rogers, and Tony wasn’t sure he’d let them in a room together alone, anyway. But Tony could confront, demand answers, and even threaten if he needed to. Which is exactly what he planned to do.

“Ah, Dr. Stark,” a voice greeted him. Tony turned to see a woman of average height with blonde hair and a deceptive smirk on her face. Captain Marvel looked like a playful flygirl, but Tony couldn’t understand how people didn’t take one look at her and run screaming if they had just an ounce of common sense. 

“Mister, Doctor, eh... Tony should do,” he replied with a smile. “How is it with the new recruits?’

“They have their troubles,” She said, stepping in line with him and subtly guiding him through the Compound. “It’s the old recruits that seems to have the most difficulty fitting in.”

“Fitting in,” Tony repeated.

“They’re obnoxious bastards,” she said, giving a toothy grin. “That better?”

“A little closer to the truth,” he said, chuckling. “Anything I should be keeping an eye out for?”

“Let’s see…. Barton is still whining about, well, everything, but that’s starting to tame down now that the little wife is willing to talk to him,” Carol said with a hum. “Maximoff is still blaming everything around her for her power control, and I’m one second away from going head to head with her to show her how true motivation can help with that.”

“That might be the only way to go, to be honest,” Tony muttered, ignoring the shiver that ran through him. 

“The others seem to be slowly accepting their fate. Wilson is being the most diligent, to be honest. I have high hopes for him. If anything, this entire experience has taught him something, and he’s keeping a reasonable distance from Rogers,” she admitted. “Lang isn’t so bad either. If he would just stop being late for most of his training session, he’d make a decent fighter.”

“Romanoff?” Tony asked, knowing he was delaying the inevitable. They had turned down a long hallway without him noticing. Thankfully, he designed the place and could recognize the west wing with a simple glance. 

“Pretending to be a spy again,” she said with a little snort. If she couldn’t kill him with a finger twitch, he would have found it adorable. “She clearly is trying to get back to the top, but with so many new faces and no backgrounds to skim through, well. You know how spies are.”

“Only as good as the research,” he replied with a smile.

“She pegged you wrong, didn’t she?” Carol replied, grinning back. They came to a stop at a double door. “You think you’re ready for this, I heard about the boy presenting. I’d be going in there with guns blazing, to be honest.”

Tony raised his hand, letting her see the band around his wrist. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to be defenseless. But, uh, you’ll be watching? I’m going to need every word documented. Whether this is Rogers being a total ass or something medical, we need to figure out what is happening here.”

“Don’t worry, everything is set.”

“Does he know he’s meeting with me?” Tony asked. 

“Yes,” Carol replied. “I figured a surprise might lead to dramatics that were, well, unbecoming.”

“Well, I guess that means you’ve been spending time with him, because that’s usually Captain America’s style,” Tony commented.

“Yeah,” she said, letting out a little sigh. “He really doesn’t like it when you point out he’s not an actual captain.”

“Carol? Never change.”

*

The room they had set aside was your typical meeting room. Tony took a moment to walk around it, touching every chair and surface, claiming it as his own. He hadn’t been in the Compound in months, nearly a year if his memory served right. It felt good to let his fingers caress the walls he designed, allow his scent to reassert itself. While he didn’t actually intend to, he slowly but surely made the whole room be scented by him just as Steve Rogers entered the room.

The way the man’s nostrils flared, eyes narrowed, clearly meant the man noticed the dominance already present in the room. Rogers stood straight, forcing a smile on his face. “Tony, how are you?”

“Not so good, Steve,” Tony admitted. “You want to know why I’m here, huh?”

“Tony, let's not dance around,” Rogers said, suddenly sounding drained, like his energy had been slowly sapped out of him. It was the complete opposite of how Tony expected to find him. “This is about Bucky.”

“Yes and no,” Tony admitted, slowly walking around the table, bringing himself closer to Rogers. The man’s eyes were tired, not bloodshot from lack of sleep, but just weary. “This is about you keeping a man from protecting a boy who was presenting the first time.”

“I didn’t…” Rogers swallowed, before glaring at Tony. “Like that kid would have been safe with you, and with Bucky acting like that? What did you do to him, Tony?”

“You mean besides giving him a chance to remove his triggers and own his own life?” Tony asked. “Or, I don’t know, let him make his own choices from what he wants to be called all the way down to what he decides to do with his day? I’m not hurting him, Steve, no matter how much you want me to be this horrible bad guy.”

Rogers stared at him, looking like he was trapped between pure anger and pure desperation. “Why are you keeping him from me, then?”

“I’m not,” Tony admitted. He nearly rolled his eyes. “That decision was between Bucky and his doctors. I have no say in that. Hell, half the time I don’t even know what’s going on behind those closed doors. It’s none of my business.”

“No, you have to be doing something. It’s the only thing that makes sense. You’re trying to get between us, I can feel it,” Rogers snapped. “I can feel him pulling away from me and I know it’s because of you, another alpha in his life.”

Tony considered telling Rogers right then that the alpha that was denying him wasn’t Tony, but Bucky himself. But he knew Rogers wouldn’t react well to that, insisting it was some lie that Tony had made up. Rogers was, if anything, a typical response. He looked away, trying to redirect his mind. This wasn’t supposed to really be about Bucky. This was about Peter.

“Steve,” Tony said, trying to keep his voice soft and calm. “I know you are worried about Bucky and I understand. I finally understand what an amazing guy he is, because I see him playing with my bots and helping Peter with a history question. I get it, but you can’t use Bucky as an excuse for what you did last week, do you understand me?”

“I did nothing wrong,” Rogers growled.

Tony fought down his immediate aggressive response, swallowing it down like a bad pill. “You took one look at a boy, who just presented as an omega, and instead of being a strong alpha and ensuring his safety you tried to draw away the only person he knew around him. You did that, Steve.”

“I...no, it wasn’t like that,” Rogers insisted, shaking his head, for a moment looking confused.

“Bucky reacted against you not because of me,” Tony said, tone hard. “He turned you away because of you, Steve.”

Rogers looked up, eyes flashing with some vindictive anger. Seconds later, Tony felt the man’s hard body impact with his, causing all the air to leave his body and his chest to ache in memory as Rogers pinned him to the wall. He fought back the flashbacks, the very memory of the last time Rogers looked at him with that level of fury. “He turned me away because of you. You did something to him. He’s mine, damn it.”

Tony fought down a cough, wheezing as Rogers’ forearm pressed against his throat. He met Rogers’ eyes dead on. “He’s not yours. No one owns him, Rogers.”

“You can’t do this to me, Tony,” Rogers said, voice cracking, sounding almost weak despite the hard hold the man had on him.

“When are you going to learn I don’t make the word turn?” Tony asked. “Step back, Steve. Before Danvers gets in here and drags you back into isolation.”

Rogers flinched and let him go, moving back a few feet. He was breathing hard, eyes looking not so much as wild as desperate for something to hold onto. “Don’t do this to me, Tony. Don’t take him from me.”

“When did this happen, Steve?” Tony asked. All the anger about Peter was still there, but he was smart enough to see that Steve Rogers reaction to Peter had been a byproduct. It hadn’t been intentional. “When did you start feeling this way about him?”

“I’ve always...it feels like forever,” Rogers mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself. “But...in Wakanda, after he got out of cryo. It was like he suddenly was more than he used to be, you know. He was...he was just mine… I didn’t question it. And I’m not going to question it now, because I know it’s right. He is mine, Tony. He was made mine, and I was made his. The serum, the horrible fate that was bestowed to us? That can’t be coincidence. Not with this feeling.”

Tony closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Every alpha on the planet wished for that perfect omega, built for them by whatever controlled the universe. Even Tony had a small desire to look at an omega and suddenly have that sudden, gasping moment of ‘oh, there you are.’ 

“Steve...if he doesn’t feel the same-”

“He does!” Rogers snapped, blue eyes looking so intense Tony would have stepped back if the wall hadn’t been there. “You’re just clouding everything up for him.”

“I’m not. At least... I’m not trying to,” Tony said, conceding that small inch.

“I need him back,” Rogers said, voice almost plaintive.

“And he needs to heal,” Tony reminded him. “Let Bucky heal and be strong, for himself.”

Rogers seemed to turn stiff at that, like there was a lot more he wanted to say. And Tony knew there was, but he also knew that he couldn’t stand to hear anymore. He watched Rogers collapse into a chair, eyes focused into the distance and completely ignoring Tony. Which suited Tony just fine. He straightened and slowly made his way to the door.

“Steve?” he called out, hand reaching for the knob. He waited for Rogers to look over. “Bucky’s the one with the choice to contact you and I expect him to be safe about it, speaking with his doctors and everything. I have no say, so don’t you dare put that on me. There’s one thing, though? You need to get over the fact that you own him. It’s not the forties anymore, bud. We don’t get to own people around here. Actually, you can go to prison for that sort of thing.”

Tony didn’t let Rogers reply, opening the door and striding out. He had to get out of there before he opened his mouth and said what he was really feeling, and in the process betray Bucky’s trust by explain what Rogers was doing to the man. But he couldn’t, it wasn’t his role, his right to give that information up. Especially since it could just fuel Rogers’ belief that Bucky was pining for him, instead of the fact that Rogers was actually making Bucky sick.

Sometimes, Tony wished he still dealt in weapons, just for situations like these. At least then he wouldn’t actually have a guilty conscience for imagining all the many ways he could just take care of this problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, because this is awesome!hilarious, my husband is playing the PS4 Spider-Man and turned to me tonight and said "Yeah, Spider-Man and Deadpool would be perfect together. Imagine their crazy, sassy children." Hubby needs to stop putting ideas in my head.


	9. Chapter 9

“Is that how you really feel? That it’s too soon?” Shuri stared back at him, her gaze as relentless as it was nearly three months ago. “He traveled quite a way to get those triggers out of his head. It seems a shame to not fulfill your promise to him.”

“I’m not saying it’s not going to happen.” Tony sighed when Shuri raised an eyebrow at him. “You asked for an update, so I’m giving you an update. I don’t want to ruin what little...he’s getting...Shuri, he seems happy. He’s smiling, and I don’t want that to stop.”

Shuri was quiet for a moment before a slow, sneaky grin appeared on her face. 

“What? What is that look?” Tony demanded.

“Well, I have heard many rumors that the great Tony Stark lost his heart a long time ago, many even claim you were never born with one, but I see today they are all mistaken,” Shuri said, her tone nothing short of sly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tony said. “Rhodey is right, I need to stop hanging out with teenagers.”

“Tell me, how does it feel to be in love?” Shuri bluntly asked, her eyes wide and curious and making it really hard for Tony to not glare at her.

“I’m not--” Tony cut himself off, rubbing at his face in frustration. “My point still stands. Which is that his hormones are already going all over the place, this might not be the right time. You’re the one who called me for an update, I’m just letting you know, Princess.”

“Is it, though?” Shuri asked.

“Huh?”

“Is it really a bad time?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “So, he might be going through a few things, but that is life. Can you deny that he is not happier now? Or that he does not have a solid connection to someone, to more than one person even that could help him through any struggle he comes across?”

“I...no, you’re right. I hate that you’re right, but you are right,” Tony admitted. “He does seem, well, I wouldn’t use the word happy. Not after everything he’s been through, but I guess content would work?”

Shuri muttered something in her native tongue that Tony couldn’t translate. “Go, give him the help he needs and stop bothering me with your silly, juvenile emotions!”

“Hey!” Tony protested. He watched, both amused and vaguely offended, as she rapidly spoke what he had a feeling was insults toward his intelligence in her native language before disconnecting their feed. Tony scowled at the screen for a moment, before straightening his shirt and looking over at DUM-E. “Well, I’d say she’s completely out of line, how about you?”

*

Bucky let his eyes trace the intricate white lines that flowed like spider webs along the reconstructed walls of what used to be a storage room for Tony’s workshop. For the past two months he had seen Tony occasionally come in there, only to storm out muttering vague computer terms and math equations to himself. Bucky had made a point to not pay attention, because he knew what this room would be used for. 

He was standing in the room of his salvation. No matter how well he was doing, it was how he progressed here that the parole board would care the most about. They wanted results and Tony was guaranteed to get them if Bucky understood what was going to happen well enough. It had been over two months, a couple of weeks longer that they had hope for him to start, and Bucky knew that the board had to be getting antsy. To be honest, Bucky was too, but he had waited for Tony to give the okay before even stepping foot into the room for the first time.

“Well?” Tony asked, leaning against the wall beside the door.

Bucky looked up from where he was inspecting the comfortable chair that, while looking vaguely like what he remembered Hydra having, was too soft to the touch to be anything of the sort. “It’s like a work of art.”

Tony snorted. “We need to get you to an art gallery.”

Bucky could almost feel himself blush, before gesturing at the chair. “No straps?”

“You’re not an animal,” Tony said, like he was tired of giving the reminder. He never had to in words, but Bucky could recognize the tone. “Besides, between my blasters and our friendly resident spider, I think you’ll be fine. Hell, Peter may be the only thing needed.”

“Don’t... I don’t want to hurt him,” Bucky said, the words coming out quick and almost like a panic.

“Hey, come on,” Tony said, stepping over, one hand reaching out and grasp onto Bucky’s shoulder. “You know he’s safe with you, soldier or not. Stop doubting yourself or that’ll be the only read I’m gonna get in the next five years.”

“Read?” Bucky asked, forcing his curiosity to take over, knowing Tony was right. 

“Right, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Tony said, sitting down on the only side table, legs swinging back and forth in a way that was distracting. Bucky tore his eyes away and focused on Tony’s face, which had officially entered teacher mode. “In order for the program to work properly - you know, respond to any adjustments or shifts in mood you create as you gain control of the memory - it has to understand how your emotions actually work. So, it has to get a spectrum of your emotions and what type of memories those trigger first.”

“How are we going to do that?”

“Mostly, I’m going to ask you to think of a memory associated with a feeling,” Tony said with a shrug. “Once we get the surface memory-feels down we might have to trigger some from the subgroups I had Friday read passages from books, play clips of old movies, and that sort of thing to help me with mine. It’s different for everyone, or so I assume.”

Bucky nodded. It sounded easy, but he knew it wasn’t going to be, life never was. “When do we start?”

“After your appointments this week,” Tony said. “I’m not going against those two women, no thank you.”

Bucky chuckled, gazing around the room again. “It looks like a spider web.”

“Yeah, well, Peter made a comment a while back,” Tony said, following Bucky’s line of sight and smiling. “The Mother of Webs. She’s the keeper of memories, of the path your life is going to take. Seemed appropriate. And, well, when you have the spiderling crawling on the ceiling to help you install part of it, might as well do a homage.”

“It certainly does that,” Bucky said, glancing back down at the chair and trying to ignore the nervous shudder that ran down his spine.

*

Dr. White stepped back, tugging her stool over in order to sit down, which indicated Bucky was about to have to answer a series of questions. “How are your therapy sessions?”

“Good,” Bucky said, bumping his heel against the exam table to distract himself. “Dr. Grodin thinks I should be fine, with the BARF tests. And the journal is helping me keep my thoughts straight.”

“That’s very good,” Dr. White said, smiling. “How has your stomach been?”

“Fine,” he said quickly. At her narrowed-eyed expression, he sighed. “It comes and goes, like usual, but it hasn’t been as bad as it was before when I would talk to Steve.” He forced his leg to stop moving and looked her directly in the eyes. “Do you know if he’s okay? I haven’t heard from him in a while, is all.”

“I haven’t heard anything in particular,” she said. “Nothing bad, I can definitely say. Do you feel worried about him not contacting you?”

“Maybe…” he admitted. “I don’t think that it’s that bad of a thing, to be honest. I just worry that he might not be okay. Maybe I should text him?”

Dr. Wright met his eyes for a moment, before letting out a sigh. “Bucky, Steve has been locked down from outside communication for a while. He only has access to his team and the Compound, his phone isn’t able to contact anyone beyond that for a while. We thought it was best until he showed more restraint.”

“About me. You mean, showed more restraint with me,” Bucky said, feeling the very stomach pains they had been talking about trying to return.

“What are you feeling, right now?”

“Nervous. Like, like I‘ve forgotten something, and I’ll be punished if I don’t find it. My stomach is...twisted,” he said, his voice lowering to a near whisper.

“Did thinking about Steve cause that?” she asked, her tone mildly curious.

“No!” Bucky snapped. “How could he, I haven’t seen him in...how long has it been? It hasn’t been that long. He’s gone longer without seeing me.”

“But before, you two weren’t-”

“I’m not, though!” Bucky, at this point, didn’t fully understand what was coming out of his mouth. Dr. Wright was clearly trying to figure out where he stood with the Steve Rogers situation. Bucky, looking back, would never understand how it suddenly led to him standing up, towering over the small woman and growling, “He is not my alpha and he better learn it.”

Dr. Wright slowly stood and took a step back, nodding her head. “And that’s why we are keeping the two of you apart, Bucky. Steve needs to learn that he does not own you and he can not do that with you there as a reminder of what he wants. He needs to learn to live as himself. Are you going to be okay with that?”

Bucky nodded, briefly clenching his jaw before letting out a long breath. “Yeah, I am. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you apologize,” Dr. Wright said, reaching out and patting his arm. “I’m proud of you, every human has the right to decide who or who doesn’t get to be with them. I’m glad you realized that yourself. Remember what that felt like, understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky whispered, not entirely sure of what just happened. He knew it would be a conversation he’d go over later and the worry about Steve would come back, but right then he was willing to let Dr. Wright lead him through the rest of his exam in silence.

*

“You going to be okay over there?” Tony asked nervously, mentally cursing himself. He should have rethought the chair, even to him it looked like something out of a demonic hippie dentist office. Hovering, Tony watched as Bucky wiggled around for a second. “Well? The suspense is killing me.”

“It’s actually pretty comfortable,” Bucky said, sounding surprised. 

“Really?” Tony said, sounding shocked. He cleared his throat and reached for the temple sensors that were replacing the former glasses he had originally designed. The sensors on the temples, combined with the heart and oxygen monitoring ones on the chest, would be the only devices needed near Bucky. Tony would be at the desk diagonally from him with the laptop to keep an eye on the feed while the holograms worked their magic. 

“Is it just you and me?” Bucky asked, face turned mildly red in what Tony was pretty sure was a blush when he leaned in to secure one of the sensors. 

“For right now, yes,” Tony said. “Peter is watching from another room in case I need him. I want you to feel comfortable with the tech before there’s another person in here eye-balling you, okay?”

“Okay,” Bucky breathed out, his grey-blue eyes focused solely on Tony.

Tony had to fight the urge to just lean in right there and kiss the man on the mouth, cheek, nose, anywhere. Clearing his throat, he pulled away and began walking back to his seat. “Okay, so we’re going by the standard idea of there being six basic emotions. Apparently this is something that has been argued on a lot, to the point that I wonder if arguing should be its own little category. Either way, we’ve got love, joy, surprise, anger, sadness, and fear. Naturally, we’ll get to fear and anger after you’ve gotten used to how it works.”

“So, what is it you want me to do?” 

“Bucky, my boy, I want you to close your eyes,” Tony said, hitting a few keys on the laptop to bring up the software. He gave everything a quick glance, before looking up at the tense man before him. “Relax, this is to get your baseline, remember? You can’t really do this wrong and if you do? We take ten and come back to it. Got it, Snowflake?”

Bucky nodded, muscle relaxing the tiniest amount. Well, it was progress.

“Okay, so we’re going to start with joy, okay? Tony told him. “I need you to think of a moment of joy in your life, when you were so happy it imprinted that moment into your head in dramatic detail. There’s no getting rid of it. I need you to hold that image in your head, allow every detail to build. Don’t control it, just let it happen naturally.” Tony glanced down at the readings, seeing the sensory spikes indicating there was enough to create a holograph. “Now I want you to take that image, that memory and when you open your eyes you are going to send it out, so it’s there around you. Turn it into your own movie clip.”

Bucky took a lot longer than Tony had. Of course, Tony had been impatient. He had to see for himself if it had worked, not just by what Friday was telling him. It had to have been five minutes before Bucky slowly opened his eyes, gasping as he did so.

The room suddenly exploded into color. It was suddenly the 1940s all around them and for a moment Tony was terrified that he was about to see some moment of Bucky bonding with little Steve Rogers. Quickly, Tony realized he was partly wrong. Steve was there, hunched over and looking as sickly as Howard Stark always said, while the man next to him was a much younger, cleaner Bucky Barnes. 

While the Bucky sitting in the chair has stopped growing in his early twenties and would always look a little scruffy and worn down, this Bucky was around seventeen and had the confidence to get away with anything. Not to mention the looks to lure even someone Tony’s age away from their senses. Swallowing, Tony watched as Bucky grabbed Steve’s small wrist and dragged the poor delicate boy around the corner.

“Oh come on, Buck, just open it,” Steve whined. Tony held down a snort, because apparently some things didn’t change.

“This is big, Stevie,” Bucky hissed, chewing on his thumbnail.

Steve grabbed at the white envelope that Tony had barely noticed, too caught up in watching how carefree and happy Bucky looked. Bucky gave in, letting Steve - and Tony couldn’t call this tiny kid Rogers, even he wasn’t that judgmental - rip the thing open like it was going to give the lottery numbers. Bucky bounced on his feet as he watched Steve scan the page carefully.

“Well, punk, come on!” Bucky snapped.

“It’s says…” Steve paused to clear his throat, “it says you tested 95 points as alpha, they’ve already labeled you, they’re not even waiting for your rut.”

“No way,” Bucky said, snatching the paper back. “But no one scores that high on their blood test.”

“Yeah, well…” Steve mumbled.

“Stevie, do you know what this means?” Bucky demanded, grabbing Steve’s shoulders. Tony wondered if Bucky even saw the way Steve was looking up at him right then. It was with Bucky’s next words that he realized that Bucky never realized Steve had looked at him like that. “As an alpha my momma doesn’t have to worry about getting a damn secondary alpha to watch over the house with dad at war. You heard what those bastards do, don’t you? I can stop that, ain’t no one touching my family now.”

“That’s good, Buck, real good,” Steve said.

“Better than good,” Bucky grinned, a bright smile that Tony needed to see again in the Bucky he had today. “This damn piece of paper just became Christmas, my birthday, New Year, and your birthday all rolled into one. Might as well be made of gold.”

The colors flickered first, before the lights faded. 

Tony kept his eyes on the screen, logging the data and setting it to be scanned and cataloged by Friday. Once that was done they would be able to tell where they needed to go within that emotion to get more data, but until then they could relax. Finally, with nothing else to do, Tony awkwardly looked up to Bucky, who was staring forward with a slight frown on his face. “You okay, Snowflake?”

“Yeah, I…” Bucky cleared his throat. “I’m confused. I was supposed to pick a joyful memory, but…”

“Seemed happy to me,” Tony offered.

“Right then, yeah,” Bucky admitted. “But it didn’t work out like that. Even with me being an alpha, the alphas in the neighborhood didn’t see anything wrong with visiting my ma when she…”

Tony clenched his eyes closed, fighting down the knee-jerk reaction of anger from that bit of information. He paused, trying to think on how best to explain. “The program doesn’t work by looking at the full timeline. It wants you to look at the single moment in time. And that single moment in time was joyful. I’m sorry you had to...that your mom...shit…”

“I never got to protect her,” Bucky admitted. “I tried with Stevie, but he just wouldn’t let me.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Tony said, shaking his head. He hesitated a second, before deciding to just leap into what was on his mind. “You know, he’s not the only one who needs you looking after them, right? And I can think of others who won't turn you down on that.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, turned watery eyes to Tony. 

“Peter needs you, more than you know. And... I have to say, I’m getting used to you being around,” Tony admitted. He walked over and stopped just close enough to touch. “Definitely getting used to you, uh, being around.”

Bucky slid off the chair to his feet, bringing him nearly flush to Tony’s front. Tony sucked in a sharp breath, one that was clearly noticed by Bucky, who titled his head in an almost wolf-like curiosity. “I do want to be needed around here. I don’t like being considered a charity case.”

Tony laughed, an inner voice telling him to step back, but his body refusing to listen. “Trust me, that’s not it at all. I wasn’t expecting to like you so much, but I’m glad I do. Makes the whole thing less awkward, you know? And, listen, I know we have developed a weird relationship with everything that’s going on and... I’m going to admit, I’m not sure what is happening between us.” 

“So, we agree there is some form of an ‘us’?” Bucky asked, dipping his head to ensure Tony was at least forced to look at his face.

“Stop,” Tony whispered.

“I’m sor-” Bucky began, his face suddenly looking crestfallen.

“No, stop, I need to take the sensors off,” Tony said quickly, reaching up. “Trust me, I’m all on board with us discussing the giant elephant in the room. I really am, but I’m not ready to see what the room shows us when you start thinking attraction or maybe even lust. Neither one of us want to see that.”

Bucky’s face flushed bright red as Tony quickly removed the sensors, making a point to take the ones on his chest off himself, and set them on the edge of the table. 

“There, less trauma for us both,” Tony said with a light chuckle. 

He jerked in shock when Bucky’s hand came up and cupped his cheek. Bucky’s hand was solid, a little sweaty, but something strong to concentrate on, especially when it slid around to the back of his neck. Bucky’s thumb rubbed lightly against his jawline, a callous from handling weapons there scraping against the grain of Tony’s five o’clock shadow. The entire sensation was sending small shivers along Tony’s skin. 

“Tony,” Bucky said, but he didn’t continue, almost like he couldn’t figure out the words.

“It’s probably inappropriate for me to want to kiss you right now, what with me being in charge of this little therapy-”

Tony didn’t get a chance to finish as Bucky firmly pulled his head closer until their lips touched. It was a light kiss, barely a graze at first where it was clear that Bucky was testing the waters. That didn’t stop the small sound of pure want from leaving Tony’s throat. Bucky’s arm came around him, Tony’s head cradled almost delicately in the palm of his hand. Even with one arm Bucky managed to hold him fiercely and entirely in his grasp. But Tony wasn’t afraid, he could sense the gentleness in the touch and the way Bucky was forcing himself to stay still until Tony continued them onward.

Unable to do anything else, under the pure relief that this was finally happening, Tony pressed closer to the taller man and parted his lips to allow a deeper kiss. 

Bucky tasted a little like the tea from lunch, but also like a strange gunmetal and vanilla ice cream that had to be all in Tony’s head, but he didn’t care as Bucky’s tongue grazed his. Tony tried to move closer, causing Bucky to stumble back, until he bumped into the chair and was once more sitting down. Tony could feel Bucky smiling as their mouth briefly separated, Tony’s hands scrambling for skin at Bucky’s waistline and Bucky’s dragging his lips along Tony’s jaw. 

“Shit, Snowflake, you’re so warm,” Tony murmured, palms sliding under Bucky’s shirt to press against the small of his back. 

Bucky made a pleasant humming sound, before pressing their lips back together in a languid kiss. Tony had no problem following the slow, gentle pace that Bucky was setting. It felt perfect, just like the way their entire relationship had built since he had moved into the Tower. 

Finally, Tony pulled back, reaching up to cup Bucky’s face and look into his widely-blown pupils. He leaned forward briefly to rub their noses together, smiling when he saw the blush it caused. “Yeah, have to admit, I’ve been thinking about this.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, his voice sounding rough. Tony forced himself to ignore the pleasant shiver that caused in favor of focusing on Bucky’s words. “I was afraid you’d want me...to be…”

“What?” Tony asked, unable to stop himself from fully stepped between Bucky’s thighs and nuzzling his nose against the underside of the man’s chin. “Don’t care if you’re an omega or alpha or hyena, I’m attracted to you.”

“But what about when-” Bucky paused, puling back an inch. “Hyena?”

Tony blinked up at him, repeating what he had said in his head before letting out a groan. “I ruined the mood, didn’t I?”

Bucky shook his head. “No, you didn’t. I’m pretty this is as far as we were going to go, anyway.”

“You’re right,” Tony agreed. He stayed where he was for a moment, not willing to give up Bucky’s warmth. Finally, the laptop let out a series of beeps that caused him to step away. “Well, analysis is done.”

“Oh? What’s next?” Bucky asked, shifting almost immediately back into nervousness. 

Tony reached out and took hold of Bucky’s hand, letting Bucky decide whether to hold it or not. A sense of right and pleasure unfurled in his stomach when Bucky’s fingers thread through his. “Well, we should get in another baseline today, probably surprise as that one tends to be a universal idea across human existence. But it’s a good idea to take a break and I could use a walk.”

“A walk sounds good,” Bucky replied, looking downright bashful. 

“Yeah?” Tony asked, grinning. “I figured we can stop at the cafe a couple blocks down. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried their scones. Or donut-holes, according to Peter.” Tony tugged at Bucky’s hand, waiting until the man stood. “I take you for a blueberry muffin kind of guy.”

They made it out of the room, before Bucky came to a complete stop, holding onto Tony’s hand to pull him around so that they were face to face. “Tony, I don’t think we’ve thought this through. You’re an alpha.”

“So?” Tony asked, a ball of nervous now developing in his stomach. He knew this would be a question between them, but he didn’t think he’d have to worry about it being a big deal. Especially with how Tony lived his life. While he lived most of his life since Afghanistan being the best he could be, he had always been less than particular about the secondary gender of who he ended up in bed with. It wasn’t just omegas that stumbled home with him. He swallowed, not sure if he could actually have this conversation. It was like admitted to being a whore, instead of just smiling when everyone else called you one. 

“I…” Bucky’s head dropped, the confusion there enough to make Tony close his eyes and step closer. 

“Snowflake,” he said, “hey, listen to me. I don’t care what you are. I mean, I care, because you care. That’s sounding all wrong. Here’s the thing, you can be an omega, beta, alpha, or about to grow wings, and I’m still going to think you’re the cutest thing in the Tower. I like you. Though...if you grow wings, give me heads up? Because I can think of twenty pranks we can do right now.”

“You say that now, but what happens when I go into heat and don’t-” Bucky cut himself off.

“Remember what Friday said about the omega room?” Tony asked, softly.

Bucky blinked rapidly and nodded.

“Whether we were together or not, I won’t go in there without you asking,” Tony told him, tone turning hard. He watched as Bucky’s spine straightened, a clear sign the man was listening. “Bucky, even if you didn’t go in there... If you don’t give me, or anyone else, permission to assist you during your heat, then that’s that. I’m not going to do anything that you don’t want when you're level-headed to tell me so, do you understand? And, all I ask is you give me the same regard in return for your alpha needs, okay?”

Bucky snorted. “Alpha needs? I barely remember what those were.”

“Which is probably why we’re having this conversation way too soon,” Tony chuckled. “But, you feel better, right?”

“Yes, Tony, I do,” Bucky whispered, looking at him with what had to be the fondest expression Tony had seen in a good while. 

Tony cleared his throat. “So, scones? With coffee!”

An obvious blush spread over Bucky’s cheeks, which Tony had to fight down a reaction toward. Leave it to the Winter Soldier to blush over a coffee date instead of talk of an omega's heat.


	10. Chapter 10

“I can’t believe P.O. Boxes still exist,” Peter said, looking around the old post office like he had just been accepted into some secret club. “Why don’t you just email your sister?”

“She says she has difficulty reading the computer screen,” Bucky said, slipping his letter through the outgoing mail slot. He then dug into his pocket for his mailbox key, which Tony had dramatically rolled his eyes over when Bucky had informed him he was getting one. Apparently the idea of writing actual letters made out of paper was a travesty that led to Bucky fondly listening to Tony ramble on about trees dying and lost mail destroying lives. 

Tony in the end didn’t really have anything against Bucky having a P.O. Box, but retained the right to scoff when he saw Bucky placing a stamp on an envelope. 

Rebecca wrote to him at a much more frequent pace than he was able to write to her. He had a suspicion, what with all her kids grown and her grandkids in college and starting families, that she didn’t have many people to talk to on a daily basis. He had this adorable image in his head of her writing one letter, sending it off, only to start another when something on the television reminded her of something else she wanted to tell him. 

Or to document, as she did three letters ago, the activity of one Nurse Michael and his torrid affair with Dr. Richardson. Retirement homes were, from what Bucky could tell, a lot more entertaining than he suspected. It reminded him of the stories Peter told him of his high school.

Regardless of the reason, it was allowing them a slow pace to get to know each other. He knew they would have to meet soon, though. She wasn’t getting any younger and sooner or later he’d have to get over the fear of her being disappointed in what she saw. 

He only ever received letters from Rebecca, but because she wrote him so often he made sure to check his mailbox any time he and Peter left the Tower for one of their outings. He paused in confusion when he saw two letters inside the box, trying to listen with half an ear as Peter told him about Ned refusing to tell him about his designation blood work. Nodding at the right places, Bucky managed to hold back a reaction when he immediately recognized one letter as being from his darling little sister and the other written out to him in Steve Roger’s careful, flowing script. 

“I mean, he knew all along that I was probably going to be an omega,” Peter was groaning, “so I don’t see why he’s hiding his letter from me. It’s not like it would be a bad thing if he was an omega too, or a beta or alpha. So, what do you think his deal is?”

Bucky blinked and quickly slipped the letters into the inside pocket of his jacket. “I don’t exactly know him, Peter, so I can’t really say. Maybe he’s just afraid you’ll be disappointed. Sometimes one of the things about being best friends is getting to share the same experiences, maybe he doesn’t want this to make you grow apart.”

Peter squinted up at him with what Tony called his calculating face. “You think?”

Bucky shrugged. “Steve never actually told me he was an omega back in our Brooklyn days. I knew, but Steve wouldn’t say it out loud even though he knew I wouldn’t judge him for it. I think he didn’t want there to be another difference between us, another excuse to be left behind.”

They exited the post office, the darkening sky indicating rain was on their horizon. As a swift breeze hit them, Bucky automatically reached over and adjusted Peter’s coat, making sure he was properly protected from the elements and ignoring Peter’s eye roll at the same time. Fed up, Peter swatted his hand away and directed them down another street. “So this could literally be Ned being an idiot.”

Bucky scowled. “I wouldn’t call him that.”

“I would,” Peter mumbled. “The idiot. Making me worry about him.”

Deciding that Peter entering a stage of simply complaining about Ned as per usual was a good moment to change the conversation, before the very topic let him dwell too much on his own former best friend. Bucky looked around the neighborhood they were in curiously. “We usually don’t go this way.”

“Hmm? Oh, Mister Stark-”

“-Tony, please, he's going to cry if you keep calling him that-”

“-said to introduce you to new stuff,” Peter continued, ignoring Bucky’s interjection entirely. “I highly doubt in all your time running around being a Russian weapon that you took the time to enjoy the finer things in life.”

“Meaning?” Bucky asked.

“We are going to an actual movie theater to see an R-rated movie that we can laugh at while devouring our weight in greasy, buttery popcorn,” Peter told him, looking almost manic in his excitement. “Ned is joining us.”

“R-rated?” Bucky repeated, knowing that was one of the higher designations for movie ratings, but as Peter had mentioned Bucky hadn’t exactly spent his free time going to the theater. He ignored the Ned part, he knew he was going to meet the fabled boy eventually. Tony had insisted on a full spectrum analysis on the poor kid, which Bucky then had to remind Tony that he wasn’t actually Peter’s father and couldn’t control who the kid dated. 

Which then led to Tony demanding whether the two were actually dating in a weird squeaky voice that was utterly adorable and led to Bucky kissing Tony instead of actually easing the man’s worries. Bucky felt he made the right decision there.

“Five months!” Peter was exclaiming, pulling Bucky back to the here and now. “I’m five months away from eighteen, eight months for Ned. We just want to see some violent action on a large screen like every other boy in the universe, okay? You’re old enough to get us in.”

Bucky glanced past Peter at the only other boy outside the run down movie theater. The other kid, who had to be Ned, was much shorter than Bucky had been expecting and a little on the hefty side, but the bright smile the kid had on his face radiated a level of positivity that pretty much explained everything. Peter Parker, eternal optimist, had found the only other person in the entire world who could out smile him. Bucky was a little afraid. 

He sighed. “Fine, you see worse in battle, but you get to comfort that guy when a beheading brings him nightmares, understood? And I get full rights to complain about whether the blood spray is realistic.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peter said, guiding him across the street toward the theater and a nervously happy looking Ned. “I have the same agreement with Mister-sorry, Tony and sci-fi movies.”

*

“How are you feeling today?” Tony asked, looking up from his laptop as Bucky sent DUM-E’s tennis ball for one more toss before entering the BARF room and shutting the door. “Your head feels better, even with all the teenage antics Peter’s been dragging you into?”

They had already set a baseline for joy and surprise. The surprise memory, however, had triggered a pretty severe migraine. Whether this was from the magnitude of the firework display Bucky’s mind had duplicated around the room to show off the Fourth of July from his tenth year or simply Bucky’s body adjusting to the program, Tony couldn’t be sure. On the safe side, he had given them a week off from the next set of emotions to ensure Bucky’s didn’t get emotionally distressed.

“I’m fine,” Bucky replied, his tone immediately putting Tony on edge. Bucky sounded distracted, which was strange. The ex-assassin had never wavered when it came to getting better, even when he was clearly too tired to continue.

“If you’re sure?” Tony asked, narrowing his eyes when Bucky just nodded and sat down in the chair. “Cause, you’re acting off. Wait, did you get scared by the R-rated movie? Yes, I heard about that, by the way. Peter can’t keep a secret.”

“It’s nothing, just worried about my sister,” Bucky said. And there was a hint of truth there, Tony could definitely see that, but there was something else that Bucky was hiding. 

Tony clearly wasn’t going to get anything out of Bucky today, though, so it was best to ignore the issue for now. “Right, well, I figure today can be your choice on what we focus on. We’ve got love, sadness, anger, and fear left.”

“Sadness, I guess,” Bucky replied, giving a chuckle as Tony walked over to place the sensors on. “Kind of feels like I’m avoiding the big emotions, you know?”

“Hey, I don’t blame you,” Tony replied, pausing after placing the temple sensors on in order to stroke Bucky’s cheek. It amazed him how easily they slipped into this state. Simple gestures and a kiss here and there. There wasn’t any drive to being truly physical, they were taking their time and for once Tony felt perfectly content with that. He had no clock to race against. 

Bucky reached up and held Tony’s hand, before giving it a small tug. Tony took the hint and leaned in for a soft kiss. They pressed their foreheads against one another, before Bucky pulled back, smiling slightly. “Let’s do this.”

The process was the same as before. Tony guided him to think of a moment, a memory that could only be defined as sadness. He could see Bucky’s hand clench, a clear sign that whatever image that kept popping up was one that Bucky did not want to remember. Tony kept encouraging him, though, because the whole point of the program was to face those memories head on. 

“When you’re ready,” Tony said, keeping his voice level even though it wanted to turn soft in light of the clear stress the memory was already causing Bucky, “open your eyes and view the images around you like it is a movie. Every detail and every voice as accurate as if you were there.”

As before, Bucky took his time with it. Tony now knew it was going to be Bucky’s style with the program. Tony was impatient, he was always skipping to the next line, the next stage because he already had everything figured out. Bucky was definitely intelligent, but he liked to see everything piece together, connect and work on its own before moving forward. A small part of Tony, the mechanic part that still thrived by the simple act of rebuilding a carburetor, envied him for it. 

Eventually, Bucky opened his eyes and the world around them exploded. That was another difference and one that was going to come back and bite both of them in the ass when they got to the hardcore Hydra memories. Bucky’s imagination was vibrant. It wasn’t so much like an artist, no. Bucky had the mind of a writer, who detailed every fact until he could tell you the color of the drapes on a specific day in June. As a result, BARF’s imaging reflected so much stronger than Tony thought it was capable.

And it made it so much more real, to the point Tony felt like a stranger standing in the corner of the room.

Bucky was in his army uniform, jacket off and looking almost relaxed. Across the table was Steve, beefed up and American made, while the rest of the Howling Commandos ran around them laughing and getting dressing in civilian clothes. Bucky was staring at a sheet of paper, ignoring everyone around him, face completely blank.

“The, uh, boys are going into town,” Steve said, clearing his throat nervously.

“Yeah, I heard,” Bucky replied, reaching out for a cup that clearly held something stronger than coffee if the rough taint to Bucky’s voice was any indication.

“Apparently,” Steve let out a nervous chuckle, “apparently, over here they let their omegas work during their heats in, uh, these houses.”

Steve fell silent when Bucky turned to stare at him. “Work, huh? Paid and everything? You sure about that?”

“Look, I’m not saying it’s ideal, but...the boys are going, and it might be a good idea for us to join them…” Steve's expression indicated that his own idea sounded weak even to him. “To keep them from acting like a bunch of knot heads, that’s all I’m saying.”

Bucky sat up and looked around, making sure no one was in earshot. “Yeah? Would that have made it any better for you, Stevie? Before someone injected you with this shit and changed every damn near thing about you? You are so happy about that, about what you managed to escape that you’re willing to go along with it?”

“It’s the way it is, Buck,” Steve snapped, before lowering his voice. “Besides... I might as well get...it’s not like I’ve tried...look, unlike you, I’ve spent my years either being a sickly omega or a stage prop alpha. I haven’t been able to, you know, be with anyone.”

“And some of us have been at war,” Bucky growled, clenching his hand around the letter in his hand. “While you were getting injected with God know’s what? I was at war. While you were a pretty prop? I was at war. You might want to be like those horny bastards out there and just give your knot away to a scared omega who has no say in what is happening to them, but I sure as hell ain’t doing it. Never have, never will.”

“Buck, it’s not like that,” Steve whispered. “I just was asking if you were going with them. That’s all.”

“No,” Bucky snapped. At this point it sounded more like he was going to cry than anything. “We got the train job tomorrow. You go, see what they find so exciting. I’ve got a letter to write.”

The memory ended swiftly, almost like a violent rip through a thought. Tony scrambled to put in the codes to have the analysis start, before rushing over to Bucky’s side just into time to start getting the sensors off as Bucky started actually crying. Images of Bucky’s mother flickered around the room before Tony managed to get the temple sensors fully off and Tony felt his heart clench as he wrapped his arms around the man. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I know it hurts, I know. I think we need to get out of here, okay? Come on, stand up for me?”

Bucky seemed to automatically follow his lead as he led him out of the room and onto a chair near Tony’s work station. He quickly ordered DUM-E to grab a bottle of water before kneeling down and taking Bucky’s face in his hands. Bucky blinked at him, tears still slowly falling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Tony asked, accepting the bottle of water and absentmindedly patting DUM-E on his sensor. He tried handing it to Bucky, but the man ignored the gesture.

“This,” Bucky mumbled, giving a sniff.

“I’m not sure what that memory was, but I saw quite a few things to be sad about,” Tony admitted. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Bucky watched DUM-E roll off to where the bots’ charging station was at, beeping all the while. After a moment, he let out a sigh. “That letter was from Rebecca, letting me know my ma had passed away. Then Steve and the others...with everything my ma dealt with, everything she survived as an omega...finding out she had died right then was…”

“Heartbreaking,” Tony whispered. 

“I am so sorry, Tony, that I killed her,” Bucky suddenly said, his voice more a sob than anything. “I can’t bring her back, I can’t, but I would if I could. I’m so sorry.”

Tony felt his eyes watering up and tried to look away, but he couldn’t with the open expression on Bucky’s face. “Shit, babe. I meant it when I said I forgive you. I know I forgive you even more now, do you understand?”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself, knowing I made you feel like this,” Bucky admitted in a whisper.

“Hey, it’s my job to forgive you,” Tony told him, reaching out to cup his face. “I get to choose when you’re forgiven. Me. And I’ve already said I do.”

Bucky gave a shaky nod. “Sorry, for... I guess this is going to be harder than we thought.”

“Yeah,” Tony said softly. Tony stood and took Bucky’s hand. “Come on, let’s move over to the sofa. These old knees can’t take the floor.”

“Who are you calling old?” Bucky replied in a weak attempt of their usual teasing. It was enough to get Tony to chuckle though, which was just enough to relax them into curling up together on the sofa. Tony wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist, watching the occasional spark from his bots’ charging station without worry. Eventually Bucky fully relaxed himself, his one arm wrapped fully around Tony’s shoulders. 

It was easy to fall asleep next to each other, both exhausted from the emotions earlier. U eventually came around, holding up a tiny tiara she made herself proudly only to spot them snoring. Allowing her mechanics to grind enough for a scoff, she set her tiara down and awkwardly - as one claw often was - covered the two up with a blanket before twirling off to bug DUM-E into more decorating.

*

Bucky wasn’t entirely sure when the actual gardener for the rooftop garden stopped coming. As it was, Bucky had found himself slowly doing the job, possibly taking over without realizing it until there was no need to keep someone else employed for it. Dr. Grodin had been insistent on him finding a hobby. She had been clear on the definition, as well.

Apparently, a hobby was something done for personal enjoyment that was adaptable to be done between the demands of life. 

Bucky finished watering the last flower bed and tossed the hose to the side to be rolled up properly later. With nothing left to do, he made his way to his favorite bench and sat down. It was then he pulled the letter from his pocket. He had yet to open it, even though a part of him was eating away at his insides to know what Steve had to say for himself. Bucky wasn’t even sure he would be able to read it all in one go.

Finally, after staring at the envelope for far too long, he pressed it against his thigh with one finger and used the other digits to rip it open. He could almost feel a tingle run through his fingers as he got the paper out. It was a single sheet, much less than what he was expecting. But the small message was basic enough. 

‘Bucky,

Natasha found your mailing address, don’t be mad. I just want you to know you have a way to contact me if you need to, in a way that they can’t know. I miss you. Even if all we do is write, it’ll be enough for me until I can see you again.

Love, Steve’

Bucky stared at Steve’s handwriting, always more delicate than his own. At the very bottom was an unknown address, a P.O. Box as well. Bucky closed his eyes, expecting the harsh clench of his stomach. It came, of course it did, but it didn’t drive him to his knees like he thought it would. 

Maybe writing Steve wouldn’t be so bad. It would give him a chance to explain himself, explain that there was nothing for them to have. 

“Miss Friday?” Bucky called out.

“Yes, Mister Barnes?” Friday asked. 

“What was it Tony mentioned the other day? How...how would I go about getting closure?” Bucky asked, staring at the letter like maybe that alone would get the job done.

“Closure, from my understanding, is stating your final peace. You state all you need to, before walking away knowing you made the right choice,” Friday explained. 

“What do you do if you don’t think you can do that?” Bucky asked, because he knew he couldn’t. Steve was his beginning, what started everything that made him what he was today. He couldn’t just toss Steve to the side. Steve was sewn into him. “What if it’s impossible?”

“Mister Barnes, do you need me to contact Dr. Grodin?” Friday asked in a hesitant voice.

Bucky sucked in a breath and shoved the letter back into its envelope, shaking his head. “No, I’m fine. Thank you, as always, Friday.”

It was then he realized that Steve was just like the BARF program, he couldn’t take a step with the man if he wasn’t ready for it. And he wasn’t ready for Steve, he needed time to actually reply to him. The clench, the pure pain in his stomach flared up, but he knew to expect it now. He could live with pain if it meant he got to make his own decisions.

With the letter folded up and stuffed in his jacket, which he kept on the bench, Bucky stood to go attend to the vine growing up the far side of the garden, right where Tony told him a wayward god had once thrown him out a window. Humming to himself, Bucky got lost in trimming away the occasional dead leaf and arranging the growing tendrils to ensure they followed the upward pattern needed.

An hour later, as the cool breeze hit his face, humid enough to indicate another rainstorm, Bucky noticed just how overheated he was feeling. The moment he noticed it, it was like a floodgate opened and his body broke out in a swift sweat. Aches he didn’t remember being possible rushed through him. The shock of it brought him to his knees, hand grasping the nearest flower bed. 

Gasping in a breath, even that feeling too sensitive, Bucky let out a hoarse word, “Friday.”

“Mister Barnes, your temperature is fluctuating between one hundred and one hundred and ten, which is inconsistent to both omega and alpha,” Friday replied, her tone laced with worry. “I can not get a read on your body’s symptoms as they are contradicting all information I have in my database as a stable factor for heat or rut. Please, may I contact Boss?” 

Bucky couldn’t reply verbally, so he nodded in a frantic way, fighting down nausea when the movement made it feel like his very brain was liquid sloshing around in a bottle. He’d never felt like this before. He remembered, vaguely, having a rut in his younger days. The high energy, the desperate need to taste and claim and please, please, please. 

With Hydra, they made a point to not let him remember his heats, but he remembered the vague feelings leading up to them. He remembered being in a safe house, post kill, with the heat too high and only touch cooling him, only soft words allowing him to calm. 

This was nothing like either. His body was ripping itself apart. He knew betas had jokes of alphas and omegas, saying they were built for sex, built for reproduction. But he felt none of that, nothing like what he remembered. His body flared, a hot-cold rushing through him in a painful wave, fighting for domination. He didn’t know what to do, all he could do was try to focus on something. He tried calling for Friday, tried, but failed.

“Boss is on his way with medical,” Friday replied, granting his wish without realizing. Her calm, even tone was like a balm against the jagged edges inside him. 

“I-” he tried to start, but he couldn’t finish, crying out with a sharp cry as pain ripped through his stomach. He felt a warm fluid at his backside and the smart part of himself knew it was slick, but the rest only kept panicking, because at the same time he was growing hard in a vague way he hadn’t in decades. “Friday.”

“I am always here, Mister Barnes. You will be alright.”

Bucky curled up, holding his knees with his one arm, wishing for a weapon to protect himself because he felt so weak, just as Tony appeared around the corner. The flood of his scent hit Bucky full force, grease and coffee and that spark of an electrical charge. Bucky felt some of his muscles relax, but not enough. It wasn’t enough.

“Oh, sweetie,” Tony whispered, dropping down to his hands and knees to crawl the last few feet to him. The obvious attempt to not be dominating wasn’t lost on Bucky, even in the state he was in. “What do you need, right now? Medical is maybe five minutes away then we’ll get you to your room, okay? Until then, what can I do?”

And damn, that was the question. With Tony there, Bucky just wanted to present himself, to beg and demand and order to have Tony take and take and take. But he knew it wouldn’t and shouldn’t happen that way, not with a part of him wanting to growl and pin Tony underneath him, claim him and demand everything he could from that body.

And he hurt and ached and couldn’t breathe.

“Bucky... James!” Tony crawled closer, lightly touching Bucky’s shoulder with the tips of his fingers. “Hey, Snowflake, you have to breathe.”

Bucky sucked in air, trying to find a way to talk. “Tony.”

“Yeah, Snowflake, I’m right here,” Tony whispered, wincing when Bucky let out a sharp sound of pain, curling up tighter.

“I can’t,” Bucky let out. “I can’t.”

*

“Did we have to?” Tony asked, watching Bucky twitch on the medical bed, all of his instincts ordering him to get in there and at least hold the man.

“He agreed and signed off on it during our second physical,” Dr. Wright said with a sigh. “A medical coma was the last resort, trust me. It’s better than him having a vague memory of screaming in terror for the rest of his life, especially with the work you’re doing. That could backslide you beyond where you started.”

“How are we going to get past this?” Tony asked, feeling sick as he watched Bucky jerk in pain despite being in a coma. “What can we do?”

“We know what we are dealing with for one,” Dr. Wright said. “We’ll be able to alleviate his symptoms next time now that we know what they are.”

“Any idea what trigger it?” Tony asked, feeling like he was nothing but questions at this point. And Tony hated that, he was geared to fix things. He couldn’t fix this, not easily.

“Stress,” Dr. Wright admitted. “Don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t just the BARF program. We found this in his jacket.”

Tony took the letter, barely acknowledging it until he glanced down enough to recognize the writing. He read it quickly, a groan escaping him. “Shit, okay, so, that can never be good.”

“Boss,” Friday interjected, her tone soft and her worry very clear. “Mister Barnes was asking how to tell Steve no, how to get closure.”

“Great, so now it’s even a more definite case of harassment,” Tony snapped, crumbling up the letter. He paused, straightening it out. “Friday, check on Steve right now. I want to know if he reacted long distance to our Snowflake hitting his heat and rut.”

“Of course, Boss,” she replied.

“What do you suspect?” Dr. Wright asked. “There is a bond on Mister Rogers’ side, that much is certain. Bucky seems to be fighting whatever bond had been placed.”

“Rogers said that he always wanted Bucky, but it didn’t hit this strength until Bucky came out of cryo,” Tony replied.

“So, something or someone created it then,” Dr. Wright agreed.

“Boss,” Friday spoke up before Tony could respond. “Things at the Compound are not good. Rogers has entered rut himself, around the same time as Mister Barnes if the camera times are correct. But on top of that, around the same time Maximoff collapsed and has been unresponsive since.”

Tony let out a growl and stormed over to the nearest phone. “Friday, get Romanoff on the phone.”

The hologram above the phone remained static for over five minutes, before Natasha’s face appeared. She was clearly holding a neutral expression, but it didn’t fool Tony for a second. They stared at each other, like they were waiting to see who would crack first. Tony had to the longest to wait, since his reaction wouldn’t get him sanction by the United States government.

“How are you, Tony?” she asked.

“Don’t try me, Romanoff,” Tony growled, allowing all the alpha rage he had in him to show through those few words. The flinch he got in response didn’t come anywhere near the level of satisfaction he needed to calm down.

Natasha sighed. “What do you want to know?”

“Oh, I don’t know. How about why I have a POW victim needing to be put in a medically induced coma due to a possibly forced hormonal reaction or how about at the very same time Rogers goes into rut and our very favorite witch passes out?” Tony snapped.

“For once, Wanda didn’t actually cause this,” Natasha said, giving a slight shoulder shrug, playing it cool as she always did. “As for the rest, can’t say. To be honest, Steve hasn’t been acting that weird. We thought you were doing something to Bucky to cause his random emotional outbursts.”

“Did you?” Tony asked, giving her a disbelieving look. “You’re a horrible spy, you know that? You made a point to say that Iron Man would be a great addition, when the one you should have been afraid of down to your bones is Tony Stark. Whoever it was, and we know you have a finger in it, needs to be afraid of the alpha who is seeing his mate in the state he is in because of Steve fucking Rogers.”

“We didn’t do anything,” Natasha tried.

“I’m sorry, Natasha, but I guess that’s not good enough for me. Your little witch always called me a callus murderer under her breath,” Tony said, tone a low, grinding growl. “I never was, but for Bucky I will be. Do you understand? Best get everyone’s story in order, because you either give me the person on a silver plate, or I’ll happily devour all of you.”

Tony allowed himself a few seconds to watch Natasha swallow, her porcelain skin going even whiter, before he ended the call. It should have been satisfying, but with Bucky in the other room out of his reach to comfort, nothing was.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Wanda is in this chapter. I have a feeling it's gonna go a different path than what you guys expect.
> 
> Also, kissage! Cause the boys need it.

Tony leaned against the wall, his phone in his hand, thumb rapidly scrolling through news articles that he wasn’t actually reading. The hallway was silent and the door across from him hadn’t changed since it closed behind the sad face of one Peter Parker three hours ago. Tony couldn’t help the pang of guilt that shot through him, because he should be in that room with Bucky and Peter. 

Still, he had made a promise to Bucky that he would never enter the omega room without his express permission and Bucky, while stable enough to be moved to the room and taken off the IV, was still in his strange mix of heat and rut. Tony wanted nothing more than to be in there holding the man, instead of having to leave that job to Peter, but he couldn’t turn back on that promise.

No matter how much it was hurting him.

“You’re a damn idiot, you know that?” Rhodey announced, walking toward him from the elevator.

“One momento, Rhodey-bear,” Tony replied, raising a finger, not to annoy the other man but so he could have a few extra seconds to compose his expression before looking up. It had been a stressful three days and was bound to be a few more on top of that.

“What are you doing out here?” Rhodey asked, sounding at the end of his rope. Which Tony supposed was fair, there was a good chance Tony was making more of a mess of things than usual. “The guy you love is in there unconscious, ready to wake up at any moment, and you’re out here playing on your phone? Damn it, Tones, I should kick your ass.”

“I can’t go back on my promise,” Tony told him. “I have to show him I respect his boundaries, including not going near him when he...Shit, Rhodey, you know I want to be in there more than anything.”

“Then get in there,” Rhodey snapped. “This isn’t about you taking advantage, Tony. I don’t think you’ll want to do anything of the sort when you get in there and if you do, I’m pretty sure Peter is strong enough to knock you down. He’s going to need your scent and your touch as much as you need his right now. Don’t hurt the both of you by being stubborn.”

There was a series of clicking sounds, before the door opened a few inches, revealing Peter’s worried face. The scent of omega and alpha flowed out of the room. Tony breathed in, feeling a shiver run down his spine. And yet, like when he first found Bucky, he felt no urge to pin the man down and mate with him. His current drive was solely to protect and comfort. It took Peter’s gaze softening for Tony to realize he had let out a small whine, desperate to get into that room.

“He’s shivering really bad, all the blankets and even body heat isn’t helping,” Peter told him, lowering his gaze. “Mister Stark - sorry, Tony, I think he needs you. I’m helping, sure, but I’m not what he needs.”

Tony closed his eyes. “Peter, you don’t understand-”

“I don’t understand?” Peter asked. “Who here is an omega, huh? That’s right, me. And I’d want my alpha with me. I’m not saying strip down and go, you know, do that-” Peter’s face turned bright red as the kid purposely stared at a spot on the floor. “-but that doesn’t mean you can’t hold him. I’d want my alpha to do that, so I know he still cared about me, and I know that no matter how tough Bucky may seem? He’d want you to do that too.”

“He’s got a point, Tony,” Rhodey said, softly.

Tony let out a groan, rubbing at his face. “Fine. But, Peter? The moment I start getting weird or making you uncomfortable? Anything, do you hear me? I want you stringing me up and kicking me out of the room.”

“I don’t think-” Peter started.

“I said, do you hear me?” Tony growled out.

“Yes, sir,” Peter replied, tilting his head slightly to show a bit more of his neck on instinct.

“Okay,” Tony said, nodding more to himself than the others before stepping forward and past Peter into the room. He was immediately hit by the conflicting smell, the overly sweet scent of omega interlaced with the spicy burn of alpha. All of it smelling like Bucky in such a strong intensity that Tony immediately felt his knees buckle.

He went with it, landing on the soft carpet, taking a moment to remember to breathe, before looking up at the adorable sight of Bucky Barnes curled up under layer upon layer of blankets. He noticed the tremors running through the man immediately. Quickly, he crawled over and yanked off a few of the blankets, knowing they were doing no good anyway. The moment he gave Bucky enough wiggle room, the man began to shift slightly toward him, his limbs still mostly coma-asleep but his instincts ordering him to get closer.

Tony helped Bucky get tucked in next to him and soon found himself laying down with Bucky’s arm holding tight to his waist. He guided Bucky’s head under his chin, finally feeling his own body relax when Bucky’s nose pressed against the curve of his neck. The steady heat of Bucky’s breathing against his skin was almost enough to lull him to sleep. Blinking lethargically, Tony looked over to see Peter watching them with a small smile on his face, hovering by the now closed door uncertainly.

“Hey, get over here,” Tony whispered, even though there was no chance of waking Bucky at this juncture. The man would probably slowly come-to on his own in the next day or so. “Plenty of cuddle space to spare.”

“Are you sure?” Peter asked, despite the fact that he was already walking over to them.

“Yeah, come on, sunshine,” Tony said, smiling as Peter crawled onto the nest and curled up on Tony’s other side. A sleepiness was already taking over, under laced with a sense of hyper awareness. He knew if he actually fell asleep he would awaken in a second to the slightest noise. “I like this, you guys are cozy.”

*

His body ached, like he had been chasing down a target, dodging bullets and ignoring stab wounds along the way. It was a drawn out tiredness that felt like it had been there forever, leaving him almost groggy in its wake. At the same time, he had never felt more comfortable. He was laying on a body that was overly warm and smelled familiar, like the metallic tang of when he’d lick a knife clean. Humming, he pressed his face against pure warmth, breathing the scent in more. 

He felt fingers thread through his hair, a soft caress that had him immediately arching into it, a soft near-purr escaping him before he could stop it. He heard a deep, sleepy chuckle that caused him to open his eyes slowly. He immediately zoned in on the small figured curled up against the body he was laying on himself, Peter Parker’s head laying on Tony’s stomach, mouth open as the omega breathed deeply in his sleep.

“Glad you’re awake,” Tony whispered, causing Bucky to lift his head slightly, wincing when a dull throb echoed in his skull. “Take it easy now, you’ve been through the ringer.”

“What happened?” Bucky asked, slowly easing himself up, looking down to see they were all clothed, Peter and him in pajamas while Tony wore his regular street clothes. Groaning as the small movement caused his muscles to protests, Bucky allowed himself to drop back to the comfort of the nest, resting his head next to Tony’s.

“You went into heat,” Tony said, causing Bucky to stiffen up, “and rut.”

Bucky let out a long breath. “Dr. Wright had to knock me out, huh?”

“It was the safest option,” Tony admitted. “Not one I’m happy about, to be honest. Medically induced comas aren’t...well, not everything is guaranteed to come out perfect. How do you feel? Fingers and toes good? Nothing numb?”

“Hmm?” Bucky tried to focus through the fog to that actual question. “No, everything is in working order.”

“Good,” Tony replied, dropping a kiss onto his forehead. Bucky felt himself blush at the contact. “There’s a few things we need to talk about, but not right now. I’m thinking some more rest would be good before we go let Dr. Wright look you over, okay?”

Bucky was certain that was a good idea, his thoughts moving too slow for him to truly comprehend much of anything. He tried to remember what had caused the heat and rut to happen, something about a letter, but none of that was important when he felt Tony’s forehead press against his. His hand reached out, fingers threading through Peter’s hair, triggering the young omega to mumble in his sleep but barely stir.

He was back to sleep within minutes, Tony’s scent all around him, the man’s very touch seeming to relieve all the ache in his body.

*

Three days later, Dr. Wright had given Bucky a clean bill of health. Without much to do, Bucky made his way to the workshop, hoping to finally sit down and speak with Tony. The man had insisted they needed to talk, but had began avoiding him almost the moment they left the omega room. A sense of dread, like a second sense, was filling Bucky’s head, but he managed to keep it from run wild as he exited the elevator to the sound of loud music blasting from the far back.

U whirled by in her own unique way, like she was dancing to the music. Bucky smiled, giving the girl-bot a small bow and eyeing her little tiara. “It looks lovely on you, doll.”

Smiling as the bot practically preened, Bucky continued his way to the back of the workshop, just in time to see Tony bent over some type of large engine, body moving to the beat. Bucky sucked in a breath, eyes wide as Tony’s hips moved. He didn’t recognize the song and couldn’t say he actually liked the harsh rhythm, but he could say he was utterly entranced by Tony’s movement and the angle that Bucky was able to view it.

Just seeing Tony like that, knowing if Tony turned around Bucky would be greeted with a smile and an adorable man covered in grease, triggered a sense of primal instinct in him. A feeling of ownership rushed through him, which he quickly shoved away, not allowing such harsh terms to define how he felt about the man. He couldn’t stop himself from striding forward, catching Tony off-guard as he quickly pressed his body against Tony’s backside, sliding his hand along Tony’s stomach.

“Good thing I can scent you out easily enough, or you’d have a wrench to the head, Snowflake,” Tony said, chuckling nervously. He tried turning around, but Bucky held him tighter and pressed his nose to the back of Tony’s neck. “Ohh, it’s like that huh?”

“Yeah,” Bucky replied, his voice deeper than usual. He let his fingers tease at the hem of Tony’s t-shirt. He had to hold back a groan when Tony wiggled around in his grasp until they were face to face, the entire length of Tony’s body rubbing up against his. He reached up tugged at one grease coated lock of hair, smiling slightly. “I’ve missed you these last couple of days.”

“Sorry, I haven’t been avoiding you!” Tony insisted, before wincing. “That makes it sound like I’ve been avoiding you. Apparently taking a few days off without prior warning is a big no-no, even if you are the name on the company label. And I know I said we needed to talk, and we will. I promise, I just need to get some stuff out of the way. Then I’m all yours.”

“Hey, you’re fine,” Bucky leaning down the couple of inches needed to look Tony fully in the eye. “I just, well, want to thank you. I know we said you wouldn’t be in the omega room, but it helped to have you there when I woke up, eased things a bit.”

“You can thank Peter and his omega speech for that,” Tony said, his voice a near whisper, eyes tracing Bucky’s face.

Bucky couldn’t really say what made him do it, though he could admit it was probably because he just wanted to feel and taste Tony again. He could feel the heat radiating off the man, the scent of grease, metal and just Tony filling his nostrils. He heard a rumbling sound and only realized it was coming from him when Tony’s eyes widened, a bright flush hitting the man’s cheeks. He was amazed he managed to hold back the way he did, pausing only momentarily to see Tony’s eyes flutter closed, before pressing their lips together.

It was like a floodgate, all the worry and stress of the last few days and beyond came rushing out of him, replacing it with a giant hole that ached for the comfort and care that Tony had always given him, albeit reluctantly at first. Tony moaned against him, clutching at his shirt as Bucky leaned into his body, holding Tony captive against the solid metal of the engine behind him. Tony pulled back, gasping, “Wait. This is an expensive piece of...uhh...oh, shit.”

Bucky kissed along Tony’s jawline, hand slipping under Tony’s shirt in order to drag his nails lightly against the small of his back.

“Oh, man,” Tony whimpered. “Seriously, high-efficient jet, uh, thing...Snowflake, god-”

Deciding he’d had enough of Tony talking about the engine of all things, Bucky spun them around and began backing Tony toward the nearest desk. He kissed him again, distracting the man as he reached around him to push a few tools to the side - ignoring the small squeak from Tony about delicate hardware - before wrapping his arm around Tony and easily lifting the man up to sit on the hard surface. Tony blinked at him, pupils blown wide and breath coming in small gasps. 

“Holy shit,” Tony breathed out, before grabbing Bucky’s head, fingers tugging at his hair and practically yanking him down into a harsh kiss made of teeth and tongue and a growl that Bucky happily met with his own.

He easily tugged Tony closer to the edge of the table and pressed in between his thighs, deepening the kiss when Tony’s response was to wrap his arms around Bucky’s shoulders, fisting at the fabric of his shirt. Bucky wasn’t sure who made that last move to bring them pressed fully together, each immediately noticing the growing arousal evident in the other. Bucky couldn’t help rocking his hips forward, the feeling of pleasure seeming so foreign to him.

“James,” Tony gasped out, and the way he said his name made Bucky groan and keep going.

He should have known Tony was a talker. Not loud, per se, just soft mutters displaying what he was feeling. Exclamations when Bucky nibbled on his ear, a hitched breath and an ‘ohgodohgod’ to a particular hard grind, and Bucky couldn’t get enough of it. 

Of course, despite being grown men, Bucky hadn’t been intimate with anyone in years and Tony had enough sexual frustration built up just from glancing Bucky’s way, so the entire experience was fast and sudden and over too quick. It was also perfect and Bucky couldn’t stop kissing Tony, soft and gentle, with the occasional light kiss along his jawline. Tony stared up at him, an expression that was so open that it was almost fragile on his face. 

“Was... I’m sorry, I should have asked. I wanted…” Bucky said, suddenly uncertain and feeling ridiculous for it. They were sweating and still fully dressed, like a couple of teenagers hiding from their parents.

Tony tugged him down by his shirt and kissed him, softly with his lips parted. A simple kiss, but it made a shiver run down Bucky’s spine, like it was saying something Tony couldn’t bring himself to say out loud yet. “It was perfect.”

*

“Does Bucky know we’re here?” Rhodey asked under his breath as they followed Captain Danvers down a long hallway to where Wanda Maximoff was waiting for them.

“No, I’m not going to stress him out over it, not so close to his heat/rut,” Tony said. He cleared his throat. “So, Carol, how goes things?”

“Oh, gee, you mean aside from have Romanoff sneaking into my office to read my files, Maximoff being practically mute since she woke up and - lest we forget - Mister Rogers himself having episodes of dramatics in the midsts of his morning runs?” Carol snapped, turning around to walk backwards, so she could properly glare at him.

“Dramatics?” Tony asked, a sudden unease hitting him. “Uh, what time this morning?”

“Around eleven, unusually late for his usual run,” Carol said with a frustrated sigh. “The man got half-way into the forest trail before he started screaming and punching a tree. The security cameras didn’t really catch much of it, but he looked like he was in pain and very pissed off about it.”

Tony bit his lip and dropped his eyes, trying to ignore the slow build of worry that was simply icing on top of the worry he was already feeling about this whole situation. Somehow Rogers had known about Bucky’s little surprise visit to Tony’s workshop this morning. He had, in some way, felt it and had reacted as though he had been betrayed by a mate. An alpha’s instinct would be to lash out in violence to whoever had touched what was his - as barbaric as it sounded - and when Rogers didn’t have that, well...

A twisted part of Tony almost wanted to see what was left of that tree. The spoiled brat part of him wanted to rub it in Rogers’ face that he had what Rogers would never get.

“Let’s focus on Maximoff’s interrogation,” Rhodey said. “Rogers’ isn’t going anywhere, and apparently neither is his problems.”

“Yeah, let’s do this,” Tony said, once again following Carol to the room Maximoff was waiting for them in. He could admit a part of him was happy Carol was going to stay in the room with them. He had seen the woman in action and could allow that knowledge to give him some form of safety. Maximoff, despite her childlike impatience, had a calculating side to her that Tony had seen immediately. Add in her little habit of messing with a person’s mind and Tony was ready to run the other direction.

The room they entered was as plain as the one Tony had met Rogers not that long ago. Wanda Maximoff, in her traditional red clothes, stood out like a flame in contrast to the gray-white of the walls. Her eyes immediately zoned in on him, as they usually did. They held suspicion, but not as much of the malice as there had been a year ago when they had last seen each other. 

“Go ahead, ask what you want,” she said, sounding bored, though the way her legs were pulled up and arms wrapped around them belied her nervousness. “I have no answers for you.”

“Oh, so you don’t know why you passed out the other day?” Rhodey asked. “Cause from what we’ve learned, it’s a pretty big sign of a magic user draining themselves dry. And with the way Rogers has been acting and the damaging effect it is having on Barnes, well.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t know anything,” she said, looking away from them.

“Really? Cause I have an omega in my Tower who keeps getting sick every time Rogers makes a demand of him, and he tries not to follow it,” Tony said, allowing just a hint of a growl out. “We both know how much you like your little mind games, Wanda, so you might as well tell the truth.”

She slowly turned to look at him, eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting as though she was both confused and frustrated. “What do you mean, it is damaging Barnes? I would not do that, you can not accuse me of such a thing.”

“Look, we do get it,” Rhodey spoke up, before Tony could lose what little patience he had. “Rogers has done a lot for you, you probably thought you were just helping to speed things up and reunite two guys whose love has traveled literally through time.”

Maximoff’s expression was guarded, but she didn’t say anything and her hands were twitching from where they clutched at her skirt. 

“But you miscalculated the fact that Bucky isn’t in love with Rogers and what you did is forcing him to live with a bond that he does not want and doesn’t even fully grasp is there,” Rhodey said. “We can’t even be sure what would happen if we told him. Do you know what happens to omegas who reject a bond outright?”

Maximoff flinched, indicated she knew very well what could happen. “I did not do this.”

“You did something,” Tony said, voice tense. “You call me a monster for weapons that I indirectly had a part in being sent to your country, in being handed over to the people who used them in an illegal war. Well, now we can call you a monster for this, because even if you didn’t mean to, you did something to trigger this to happen, Wanda. Bucky is already subconsciously trying to break that bond and every time he pulls a little further away Rogers I find him either having a breakdown or being literally, physically sick. And I can’t watch it anymore.”

She swallowed and turned slowly to face them. There was an odd expression on her face, almost like desperation, maybe even despair. “I would never do this. I could not harm an omega in this way.”

“Wanda, we understand your brother was an omega and that you had a unique bond, was practically his alpha even,” Carol said, “We don’t think this was actually intentional, not for it to go this far.”

“You will leave my brother out of this!” Maximoff snapped, slamming her hand down on the table, a rolling wave of red flowing outward across the surface. When she spoke, her accent had grown thicker and there was a heavy, thick emotion there that weighed down every word. “I could not do this. You do not understand what I have gone through, what we have gone through. You look at our country in pity, not seeing our strength. I have survived a lifetime of war and my country has lived with it for even longer, with death and very little life to survive. Omegas are the only hope we have had for a future, for children and proof that life is not just pain, and you would dare accuse me of harming one?

You know nothing,” she hissed. She seemed to collapse back in her chair, looking emotionally drained. 

For the first time, Tony actually felt for the woman in front of him. The room was silent and Tony watched as Wanda Maximoff wiped away what was probably the very first real tear that he had ever seen her shed. Finally, he cleared his throat. “All accusation out the window, are you sure you didn’t make a wish or...anything? Feel something around them, even? Even if you felt they were off themselves. We need something to go on.”

“A push,” she whispered, her voice hoarse like the tears were about to turn into a sob. “I gave a push, for them to see one another and be open to communication. That is all. They were avoiding each other in Wakanda and Steve was so sad. I thought if they talked it would be better, so I simply created a chance for that to happen. It would have worn off long before we even got here.”

“Okay,” Tony said softly. “Thank you. Wanda, I mean it, thank you.”

She didn’t reply, just watched him warily out of the corner of her eye as they turned to leave. Then she cleared her throat, “Captain?”

“Yes, Wanda?” Carol replied, looking back over her shoulder. Tony could see past Carol to Maximoff, who was pulling her legs back up to hold them, the position obviously one of comfort now that he was able to see past the thick layer of hatred she kept for self-preservation. 

“I would like those lessons on control...please,” she said, her tone one of a bone deep tiredness.

*

“Do you believe her?” Rhodey asked as they exited the Compound. 

Tony slipped on his sunglasses and was silent for a moment. “There was a time when I would have said no, when I would have told you that anything to come out of that girl’s mouth was a lie covered in honey. I watched as Barton and then Rogers fell for her act. Vision almost did as well, before she sent him through multiple floors.”

“And now?

“She’s not the innocent child Rogers claims she is, and I’m starting to realize she never claimed to be one. She is a war orphan, though, and it did mess up her head pretty damn bad. Hydra didn’t help with that much.” Tony turned to look back at the building, like it would give him the answers he needed. “I don’t trust her, but what we just saw? Hell, Rhodey, I have to admit I believe her. That wasn’t an act.”

“Okay, genius, what’s the next step?” Rhodey questioned as they walked a bit further toward the road where Tony’s car was parked. 

“Well, who do we know who works in magic and isn’t a ball of crazy like miss sunshine in there?” Tony rolled his eyes. “Magic, I can’t believe I’m using that term casually.”

“Consider it glorified physics,” Rhodey teased.

“Whatever, I have an adorable ex-soldier to get home to,” Tony said. “Think you can handle the magical front? Because I have to admit that I wouldn’t know where to start, and I’m pretty sure even Friday couldn’t find the Leaky Cauldron, let alone the guy with the wizard beard.”

“It’s so cute that you even know about that,” Rhodey said.

“I can read, you know,” Tony grumbled.

“I’m sure it’s right at your reading level and everything,” Rhodey replied, getting into the car with a little adjustment to one of the straps around his knee. “I think I have an idea where to look, there’s been some rumors of weird electrical interference and your usual creepy, blame it on UFO type stuff during city flybys. Could be that magic you’re talking about.”

“Well, if it helps figure this out, I’m all for it,” Tony admitted. “And if it helps Miss Maximoff even further learn to not delve into that which should not be messed with, even better. The longer she’s afraid of what she did, the longer we can keep her attentive to learning how to control herself.”

“You think this is all it was, her power surging during a simple little spell?” Rhodey asked, uncertain.

“Let me put it this way, we need it to only be that,” Tony said, hands clenching around the steering wheel as he pulled onto the highway to head back into the city. “Think about it. If all she did was give a little push, then that means that all of this? It could be Rogers and that means…”

“Shit, Tones,” Rhodey rubbed at his eyes. “I can’t deal with this conspiracy shit right now. You can’t seriously be considering the idea that Rogers is actually doing all of this of his own free will, that he’s the one - what? Using the power Maximoff put out to control Bucky? He’s not exactly getting a good deal out of this either, he’s been getting sick too.”

“Okay, fine!” Tony snapped. “I’m pulling at strings, fuck! I’m sorry, but I can’t… You don’t get it, Rhodey. I can’t do anything to protect him and the one person I thought I could blame is probably crying her eyes out back there over the very idea of hurting an omega. Rogers is the only person I have left that I can point the finger to, and I need someone to blame. I have to blame someone, or I’ll go insane because I can’t protect him from this. He’s pretending it doesn’t matter, and I’m useless.”

“You’re an idiot,” Rhodey informed him, tone soft.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

“I’m serious,” Rhodey said. “You do notice how that man looks at you, right? He’s an idiot too, cause I’m pretty sure he doesn’t notice the way you look at him either. You’re both idiots and I love you, Tones, but you need to get your head out of your ass. Just get us home, go to him, and tell the poor guy you love him. He doesn’t need your protection. Trust me, I’ve seen him fight, he’ll be fine. The only thing you need to take care of is that heart of his, and let him take care of yours.”

“How did someone perpetually single get good at these kinds of speeches?” Tony asked, giving the other man a small smile.

“Someone has to make sure you don’t screw things up,” Rhodey told him. “It’s what the best man does.”

There was a moment of silence. “Uh, best man?”

“Yes,” Rhodey replied, raising his eyebrows. “I am going to be the best man, right? I already have a rough draft of my speech. Don’t take this away from me. I even wrote a poem for the metal arm.”

“I hate you,” Tony said, laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now that it's at the end of the chapter, I have to say this: I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tony being picked up and placed on tables and crap by guys wanting to kiss him. It's a thing. Hell, I'll read about Clint Barton doing it, I don't even care, cause seriously, watch Iron Man and focus on this guy standing next to people, like he's all small, guys, and adorable and he needs hugs. And Bucky Barnes is so ready for that job, damn it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote part of this while watching CA: Winter Soldier and what the hell, Sebastian Stan, why the anime eyes of dramatic sadness, I mean, my GOD. Too damn cute for you're own good.
> 
> Anyway...that might explain part of this? Maybe? No? Okay.

He couldn’t remember the nightmare, only the way it felt. The panic as hands touched and dark, shadowed faces watched with amusement as he squirmed and writhed. Bucky sat in his bed, gasping for air as sweat rolled down his face and drenched his tank top, eyes darting from one object to another. Everything around him seemed to radiate a level of hostility that had him on edge. His heart wouldn’t calm and even the moonlight mixed with city lights coming in through the window seemed to keep the urge to run on the forefront of his mind.

He had to get out of there.

Leaving his room became harder than he thought as a spike of paranoia went through him, the feeling of hands never leaving his skin. Sucking in air, he found himself keeping his back to the walls, slinking sideways down the hallways and carefully peering around the doorways to ensure he was clear to move to the next section of his apartment floor. 

He considered his omega room, the soft scent of Tony and Peter that lingered there. He knew it would calm him down, but he also didn’t think he would actually feel safe there. Not by himself, not with the phantom touches and whispered words or the way he felt simply dirty from the direction his nightmare was going. No, he couldn’t taint the room like that, he just couldn’t. 

Working on instinct, because right then that was all he had, Bucky swiftly made his way to the elevator, pausing only once in the small kitchen to grab a steak knife - one of the few sharp items on the floor. Heart beating fast and hard enough that he could hear it thundering in his ears, Bucky slid into the elevator and began rapidly tapping his finger against one of the floor buttons.

“Mister Barnes, are you okay?” Friday’s worried voice echoed in the small space. Bucky felt his whole body jolt and he shrunk down, trying to make himself a smaller target, as he stared up at the camera in the corner. “Boss is currently asleep, but I do detect that you are suffering symptoms of panic. Is everything alright?”

He swallowed, trying to get his brain to just think. Finally, he blinked up at the camera, body shaking, phantoms hands everywhere, and whispered, “Tony.”

“Due to the severity of your anxiety, I will override Boss’ security to allow you access to his floor just this once, pending approval before future attempts,” Friday informed him. Her near robotic tone was soothing in a way as it made things less complicated, so Bucky didn’t have to think that far. He didn’t have to think about how he had been hitting the button for Tony’s personal floor this entire time instead of the workshop.

The door opened and Bucky slowly exited the elevator, eyes scanning the room before him and hand clutching the handle of the knife. Despite his exhaustion, he felt on high alert as he moved further into Tony Stark’s personal floor. He had never been here and looking around he could see that Tony hardly spent much time there either.

His mind took a quick moment to catalog brief details, before he was moving swiftly down the hallway, making fast investigations of each room as he went, until he was opening the one he was in search of. His eyes darted around the bedroom, spotting tennis shoes kicked off on the floor and a sports coat hanging precariously from a desk chair. A few steps in and Bucky’s breath caught as it landed on the figure on the bed.

Tony Stark was indeed asleep. He was fully clothed, minus shoes, and draped across the bed on his stomach like he had simply fallen forward. Bucky walked over, pausing and sighing in relief when he saw the man was breathing normally. Then, his own heartbeat slowing, Bucky set the knife on the bedside table and gently began to get Tony into a more comfortable position, since a single roll over would currently send Tony tumbling to the floor.

Tony was completely dead to the world as Bucky worked, carefully unbuckling and shedding the man of his jeans and socks. He left the shirt and boxers as is, figuring going further would be pressing his luck. The simple act of rearranging Tony so his head was actually on a pillow and his body was properly along the length of the bed calmed something inside Bucky.

He finally felt the fear fade, looking around the room with a satisfied hum. Tiredness spread through him and, glorifying in feeling in control of himself again and thinking nothing off about his actions, Bucky crawled onto the bed and curled into Tony’s warmth.

*

Tony first reaction upon waking was one of hyper awareness, causing his body to tense up despite managing to keep his face relaxed and eyes closed. Still half asleep, it took a moment for his brain to full catch up to his senses. He was laying on his back, which was weird because he usually woke up as he fell asleep: face planted into the mattress with barely any space to breathe. 

Then there was the warmth. Fitted along his side and latched onto him with a sense of desperation, it was easy to tell it was a human body and a few seconds later the scent and very feel of the person made it clear who it was. Bucky was holding onto him tightly, arm around Tony’s waist and one leg thrown over Tony’s own in a clear case of ownership that sent a happy flutter through Tony’s stomach.

Tony cleared his throat loudly, testing how deeply asleep Bucky was. Satisfied, he spoke in a whispered to Friday, “How did this happen?”

“Mister Barnes,” Friday said in what could have been hushed tone if her voice wasn’t attached to nearly every speaker in the room, “had a severe nightmare and entered what could only be considered survival instinct. His immediate reaction was to check his perimeter and procure a weapon. The steak knife is on the nightstand, by the way. After that, he immediately went to find you. Due to the mental state he was in, I thought it best to give him access.”

Tony glanced at the knife before looking down at the man latched onto him, sleeping soundly. “Yeah, I’d say you did good, baby girl.”

“Perhaps,” she said, “you could use this opportunity to catch up on some sleep, Boss.”

“Hmm,” Tony let out, a little too happily. Carefully, he wiggled himself around so he and Bucky were face to face. He reached up and brushed back some of Bucky’s hair, noting how long it was getting, taking in how relaxed the man looked sleeping next to him. Honestly, he’d never seen Bucky look so relaxed, so young. It reflected back to the seventeen-year-old version he had seen in their BARF session, the only thing missing being the happy grin spreading across the man’s face.

Tony snuggled a little closer and kissed Bucky’s forehead, before closing his eyes and letting sleep take him once more.

When Tony awoke the second time it was Bucky sitting next to him, watching him intensely. Tony blinked up at him, taking a second to stretch and marvel at what a full night’s sleep actually did for his body and energy reserves. “Hmm, Bucky, good morning.”

“Afternoon,” Bucky replied, glancing briefly at the clock before turning back to look at. “As of ten minutes ago.”

“Still feels like a good morning to me,” Tony replied, pushing himself up so he was sitting and looking Bucky directly in the eye. “How are you feeling? Friday told me what happened.”

Bucky looked away, a hint of a blush spreading across his cheeks. “It was...ridiculous, I reacted poorly to a dream. I’m glad I didn’t wake you, at least.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tony asked, smiling slightly at the purely stubborn expression he got in return. “How about this, I tell you about the nightmare that keeps me up most nights working on the suit and you tell me a little bit about this dream. Deal?”

Bucky stared at him a moment, clearly figuring out if it was a worthy trade, before the man let out a slow breath and nodded.

“Have you heard of Loki?” Tony asked.

“He threw you out a window,” Bucky said in a deep, almost angry voice. Tony fought down a smile at the clear frustration there, like Bucky wasn’t very happy that couldn’t get his own revenge on Loki for hurting Tony. 

“Calm down, Snowflake,” Tony said, letting his smile grow when Bucky looked away. “He’s an obnoxious brat, but not why I get nightmares, okay? I mean, his helmet could...no, what he brought with him is much worse.”

“Steve showed me footage,” Bucky offered.

“Then you kind of know what happened,” Tony surmised, waiting for Bucky to nod. “What I saw, as I was falling back to Earth? A massive alien army that could easily wipe this planet out and keep on moving. I’ve dreamt of it ever since, of everyone I hold dear dying because I was the one to know it was coming, and I did nothing.”

“You’re helping to build an army of the strongest humans on Earth,” Bucky pointed out. “How is that doing nothing?”

“A person can always do more,” Tony insisted.

“Sometimes I think you forget that it’s okay that you’re just one man.”

Tony knew Bucky would never get it, no one could unless they saw what he had. Which limited him to probably just Loki, which was a bond he had no interest in establishing any time soon. Sighing, Tony reached out with the intention of just patting Bucky on the knee, not noticing that the brief touch had quickly turned to him resting his hand there, thumb rubbing circles into cloth covered skin, until Bucky placed his hand on top of Tony’s own.

“Anyway, that’s my insomnia creator,” Tony said with a shrug.

Bucky stared down at where they were almost holding hands. He didn’t look up as he began talking, his voice so low that Tony could barely hear him. “It’s a party, but never the same one. The handlers, all of them, they’re there. Trainers, too. I know it happens often enough, but I can’t tell time, just know that it’s happening yet again.”

Tony turned his hand, carefully threading their fingers together, his own stomach twisting from the almost dead tone in Bucky’s voice. He didn’t interrupt, knowing this could ultimately help Bucky process years of trauma manifesting as a dream, but that didn’t mean he liked what he was hearing. Just the urge to growl in response to what Bucky was hinting at was nearly overwhelming and Tony had to focus on their hands as well to keep those feelings from showing.

“They give me something to drink,” Bucky said slowly, like he was speaking through a fog. “It tastes like butterscotch. It makes everything too warm and uncomfortable. That’s when everything gets dark, and I can only see their figures moving, before the hands come.”

“Hands?” Tony asked, trying to keep his voice gentle.

“They keep touching me. They won’t stop, they never stop touching me,” Bucky whispered, a shudder running through him. He looked up, meeting Tony’s gaze, his eyes a stormy gray of emotion. 

Tony swallowed, fighting back the desire to just hold him. “I can’t change your nightmare, Snowflake, but I can tell you this...so listen up, okay? There isn’t anyone here who is allowed to touch you without your say-so, got it?”

Bucky gave a shaky nod.

“Even if it’s me,” Tony said softly. “I’m the alpha of the house, sure, but I’m not the alpha. I can’t order you around or make you accept my touch, so you have all the right in the world to tell me to get the fuck away from you.”

“No,” Bucky said, his hand tightening its hold on Tony’s. “I trust you. I don’t care, I want you to keep touching me. When you hug me or even just give me a pat on the shoulder, even...especially when we kiss, I actually feel like I…”

“What?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t say…” Bucky started to tug his hand away, but Tony held on tighter. “Tony…”

“Whatever it is, I can take it,” Tony replied with a small smile.

“I can feel that alpha part of myself,” Bucky admitted, blushing much harder than earlier. “It kind of likes having you dote on me, I like your attention on me like that I guess.”

“Hey,” Tony said, leaning forward and kissing Bucky’s cheek, grinning when it made the man looked even more bashful. “I am a-okay with that, because I like giving you all sorts of attention. But, with these nightmares, you can come in here anytime you want, okay? My domain is yours, full-access.”

*

The workshop had never felt more like a cage than it did right then. Bucky paced the full length of it, the sheer size of Tony’s workspace feeling like mere inches from wall to wall. DUM-E kept at his heels, somehow managing to be in his space without tripping him when he spun to face the other direction and continue his perimeter pacing. The robot beeped softly, most likely trying to calm him down, but he couldn’t calm down.

Not when Tony and Peter were out there, suited up and in battle while he was stuck in this damn building like a prisoner.

“It’s been three hours,” Bucky snapped, wanting to pull out his hair. No, he wanted to rush the elevator, grab a weapon and _hunt._

DUM-E made a trilling sound, one of clear frustration and agreement.

Bucky stepped up to the ceiling to floor window facing the darkening cityscape. The news on the television across the room was on, words droned pointlessly as Bucky only listened in with half an ear, only wanted to hear news about the battle happening partway across the city. Bucky didn’t know the specifics, and he honestly didn’t care, all he knew was he had watched Tony and Peter rush out of the room, pausing long enough to reassure him of their return, before leaving him in silence.

Silence that he tried to correct with a blonde woman on television talking about the president offending some country yet again in the usual repetition of world politics. Apparently things didn’t change in that respect.

Bucky waited. He could be patient. He could lay in waiting, finger on the trigger, simply hoping for the perfect shot. 

“In breaking news, the blockade off of Central Park West is still standing strong as Iron Man and a select group of Avengers attempts to bringing down an unknown enemy wearing what might be the most garish super-villian suit yet.” The screen shifted to a tall, overly muscled man in a neon green suit with huge spikes sticking out of his back. For a second, he actually looked harmless. “He is giving the Avengers a bit of trouble and the distance is warranted as we are getting reports that those spikes are toxic.”

Bucky stepped closer to the large screen, for once thankful to Tony’s need to have all his technology as large and fancy as possible. He could see the villain, shooting those spikes, strange bluish fumes emitting from them whether they hit ground or body. He watched as the Black Widow was a little too slow, taking one to the thigh. Her body was jerking from the toxin immediately, before the screen cut off, switching to the newscaster.

Tony was there, yes. His armor would protect him, Bucky understood that. But the panic in him wasn’t building for Tony, no it was for Peter. Spider-Man’s suit wasn’t solid armor, and while it was created by the smartest man alive, Bucky knew it wouldn’t stop everything.

All he could think within that moment was that Tony might not be enough to protect Peter, to protect their boy. 

A rush of pure cold went through him, his vision zoned in, and he could suddenly smell every scent in the room. Peter’s scent stood out, leaving a trail to the elevator that Bucky immediately began to follow. When the door wouldn’t open, he punched it, a dent from the impact causing the metal to vibrate. 

“Mister Barnes,” Friday began.

A low rumbled filled the room, a growl echoing as Bucky threw himself at the elevator door again. He turned his face upward, a boiling anger starting. “Let me get to Peter.”

There was a long silence, almost like they were staring one another down. Then, the elevator door slid open and Friday’s voice followed him inside, “Alpha Parental Protocol Activated.”

*

“Wait, what?” Tony asked, before he felt himself knocked backwards by a small explosion attached to a spike thrown by what Tony could only call a living pin-cushion. His life was getting ridiculous. “Friday, say that again.”

“APPA has been activated, Boss,” she replied. 

Tony shot off a beam towards a glob of something thrown his way, before focusing back on Friday. “Peter’s fine, he’s right there, fighting the foot soldiers and getting out hostages. Why would I-?”

“I’m sorry Boss, but his pheromones were online with what you programmed to trigger the protocol. Following your criteria, it was necessary,” Friday said. 

“Right, shit, okay.” Tony clenched his eyes closed a second before reopening them and lifting off from the ground. “Okay, uh, everyone! I have some good news and some bad news.”

“Right now might not be the best time,” Rhodey called over the line from where he was helping keep the toxic pines and goo-balls from getting close to the general public.

“Yeah, it’s about to get worse,” Tony admitted. “War Machine, my darling, I need you over here kicking this guy’s ass, because APPA has been activated, and I need to be the only person near Peter when he arrives.”

“He, who?” a very pissed off Natasha asked from where she was still fighting, despite being ordered to stand down for medical.

“Fight on, people,” Rhodey ordered, before Tony heard him on their personal line. “How the hell did he activate APPA?”

“Friday says all criteria was met, pheromones and everything,” Tony replied, meeting Rhodey briefly in the air, before flying off toward the New York Historical Society, where the bad guy - Spike man? Maybe? - had been holding hostages an hour ago over some document about local plants that he thought he had rights to. 

“Good luck,” Rhodey replied, sounding content in knowing he wasn’t going to be there. 

Spider-Man was doing a good job of releasing those hostages, four of the five foot soldiers having been stung up from the windows in webbing. Spider-Man was currently playing what could only be called a game of tag with the fifth one. Tony lifted his gauntlet and shot a laser blast into the wall right in front of the running enemy, causing him to halt and Spider-Man’s webbing to wrap around his legs. 

“Okay, kiddo, we have a situation,” Tony said, landing in front of the masked kid.

“Everything’s going fine over here, all the hostages have been released,” Peter reported, giving a small salute.

“And I’m very proud of you,” Tony replied, “but I’m going to need you to stay calm and look as safe and innocent as you can manage.”

“Huh?”

“Look, so, Bucky must have seen the news and got worried about you, because Friday says he’s on his way,” Tony said, trying to keep his voice neutral. He honestly didn’t know what to expect, the APPA program had been installed when he realized his protective streak concerning Peter was a little more on the alpha-father side than simple father-figure. Its sole purpose was to ensure there was a way for him to quickly and safely get to Peter if Peter was in danger and the criteria was met - the criteria being the hormonal levels in an alpha that triggered a violent protective response. The whole point was to keep Tony from being a crazed alpha. 

He had no idea how the program would adapt to Bucky. 

“What does that mean?” Peter asked, looking up at him. It was like Tony could actually see his big, animated eyes through the mask. 

“It means that...well, you know how Bucky is a little bit alpha?” Tony asked. He waited for Peter to nod before continuing, “well, to him, you’re like his kid. He saw that you are in danger. He’s reacting the way an alpha would.”

Before Peter could even respond there was a scream from across the park, where the others were fighting. Then everything went silent, so silent that there weren’t any blasts or bad guys yelling out their superiority. Seconds later the lights went out, the entire span of the park near the museum going pitch black. 

Of course, it was New York, so it wasn’t entirely dark, but even with car headlights and police lights Tony could barely see around them without the helmet’s night vision. Tony reached out a hand and grabbed Peter’s arm, tugging him close. “You stay by me, no matter what.”

“Not a problem,” Peter practically squeaked. 

It was when Peter fell silent that Tony was able to hear it. It was near silent, a rush of footsteps with the occasional paused. Then there were more screams in the darkness. Tony switched over to the general comm, “Guys, status please?”

“Someone knocked Natasha out,” Wilson’s voice piped up, “but otherwise we’re fine on this end. It was like a shadow swarmed her, no idea who or what it was.”

“You don’t have to worry about any of his spine-ship’s soldier’s on the south block,” Carol offered. “They’re...well, they are dead. Big time, knife in the throat dead. I would apologize for that initial scream from our way, but whoever it is killed that mouthy soldier too. So, should I be gearing up for a fireworks show against our shadow or what?”

“No, I need everyone to stand down,” Tony ordered.

“Uh, Tones, you might want to change your mind about that,” Rhodey said in a tone that was almost fearful.

Before Tony could reply there was a soft rustling to their right. Tony stepped to face it, keeping Peter behind him. The lights in his suit gave just enough of a glow for him to see Bucky Barnes emerge. The man’s face held the same strange combination of blankness and pure openness that Tony had seen in every video he’d managed to handle viewing of the Winter Solider. Bucky was even moving in the slow, deliberate way that indicated he was in full Soldier mode. 

But Bucky’s eyes softened the moment he got close enough to see and smell Peter. Tony released his hold on Peter’s arm, knowing he had to let this happen naturally or Bucky could be stuck in this state forever, and if the blood covering the man’s clothes and half his face were any indication? This was not a Bucky Barnes they wanted around twenty-four seven. 

Even if Tony had already decided it was a rather arousing sight, when used to protect. Thankfully, his armor hid all of his scent.

“Hey, Bucky,” Peter said, stepping fully around Tony and toward what really was the Winter Soldier at this point. 

Bucky stormed forward, a growl vibrating through him that the sound of seemed to roll over them. The man slipped up his sleeve what looked to be the very steak knife he had been grabbing on the nights his nightmares got to be too much to handle, before grabbing Peter’s shoulders and leaning in. Peter didn’t complain, but he made no move to remove his mask as Bucky buried his face in Peter’s neck and held onto the boy like he was the most precious thing in the world. Peter reached up and ran his hand up and down Bucky’s back. “I’m okay, even caught some bad guys myself.”

Bucky straightened up, eyeing Peter carefully, like he could see through the suit and to whatever bruises the boy may have. Then he caught sight of the five webbed up men behind Peter and a slow grin appeared on his face. He reached out and rubbed the top of Peter’s head, like he was trying to ruffle his hair. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and aggressive sounding, “Look at what you caught.”

“Oh, yeah, well, I’d rather them in jail, but I figured hanging upside-down for a bit couldn’t hurt?” Peter offered.

“Too long and too much blood goes to the head,” Bucky informed him, striding forward. He grinned at one of the men dangling in the spider web. “See how purple he is? Almost too long, he might never recover.”

“Oh,” Peter said, nervously.

Bucky pulled out the steak knife and, before Tony could say anything, reached up and cut the man down. He didn’t bother to stop the man from hitting his head, but thankfully Peter was faster and shot out a small web to break the guy’s fall. Peter followed Bucky around as the same was done to the other three hanging upside-down. 

“I’d rather kill them,” Bucky stated calmly, tilting his head as he looked at Peter. “But not today. You caught them, your rules.”

“Thanks,” Peter replied, sounding satisfied. 

Tony felt himself relax, knowing Bucky wouldn’t do anything horrible in front of Peter. He took a few steps back and spoke into his comm, “Okay, APPA has been settled. We are good over here, status report?”

“Yeah, buddy, every bad guy here is dead,” Rhodey said. “He didn’t just kill Carol’s side, he went through the entire blockade and killed them all before he headed your way.”

“He was in instinct mode,” Tony defended.

“With a good dose of war flavored PTSD,” Wilson said in a soft voice, like he didn’t want to be the one to point it out.

“Not denying that,” Tony replied. “But everyone else is safe, right?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Carol said. 

“Tony, buddy, I’m sorry but…” Rhodey let out such a long breath that the speaker crackled a second. “You need to see what he did to the biggest bad guy. I don’t think APPA is going to be able to explain this.”

Tony glanced back over at Peter and Bucky. Peter, in full Spider-Man regalia, was acting fully docile as Bucky continued to inspect him and quietly ask him questions. It was an almost sweet sight, if you didn’t include Bucky’s blood stained clothes and Tony’s knowledge of the multiple murders the man had committed just so he could have this moment with the boy. 

“Hey, guys,” Tony piped up, drawing both of their attention. “I need to go get things cleared with Rhodey, okay? After that we are going to head back to the Tower and let the rest of the so-called good guys do some work for a change.”

Bucky tilted his head, eyeing him a little too critically. “Just Rhodey?”

“Yeah, Snowflake, just us. In our suits, all safe and everything,” Tony replied, lifting off the ground once Bucky nodded and turned back to Peter. Tony let out a heavy sigh. The last thing he needed was Bucky going on another rampage, this time to protect himself. Trying to not think too hard on the meaning behind that, Tony quickly flew his way over to Rhodey.

Rhodey was hovering over what looked to be a small pond. It wasn’t until Tony came in closer that he could see it for what it really was. The bad guy had been practically dismembered and disemboweled. The pure rage and intensity needed to do that kind of damage in what was so little an amount of time was horrifying. And the man who did it lived two floors below Tony, was the man Tony kissed hello every morning just to see him blush.

If Tony ever needed a reminder of what Bucky had been before coming to Tony, this was the worst sort of reminder possible. “How fast was he moving?”

“I didn’t hear anything,” Rhodey admitted. “From what we can tell, he started with Natasha. Once he got her silenced - which I think was a more personal vendetta than anything - he moved on to Carol’s side. He avoided anybody that wasn’t part of the fight or on our side, Black Widow not included. Ended here, then made straight for you guys. For a one-armed man... I hate to admit it, but I am damn impressed.”

“Parole board is not going to like this,” Tony groaned.

“Have Peter escort him to medical immediately and get that compared to any reading Friday took,” Rhodey ordered. “We’ll work the scene, draw as much information on how dangerous that former human was in order to help him out. If we can play this as an actual APPA situation, the parole board might go easy on him and just have him put back into lock down. A lot of them are former soldiers and alphas, they’re going to understand.”

“I love it when you’re the optimistic one,” Tony admitted, turning so that he was flying backwards. “It’s so much more believable when you do it.”

“Get your damn omega-alpha-whatever home, Tones,” Rhodey growled out.

*

Bucky felt like he was in a cloud. A very sharp, blood tainted cloud, but a cloud nonetheless. He listened to Tony when he said it was best to get Peter back to the Tower and Bucky fully agreed. It was the only thing that mattered, keeping the boy safe and having them all there together. Their scents intermingling, so he always knew where they were.

Things moved at a blur at that point, much like most of the evening. He remembered men with guns, the horrid stench of toxic gas, and blood. But the blood, he knew, was a good thing. He dealt with the problem with the only skills he had. He then remembered needles, which he couldn’t fight hard about, not with the kid there. He had to keep Peter safe, even if it was unpleasant for him.

He wrapped his arm around Peter, smiling when the boy finally pulled off the mask. Bucky buried his nose in the kid’s hair, breathing deep and taking in all the smells that had touched him. Tainted him and got stuck in the strands of his hair, because anything that close was too close. He heard Peter’s voice, talking to Tony.

Bucky tensed briefly, before relaxing as he felt himself being guided somewhere soft. He let Peter settle him down in a collection of blankets and pillows that smelled like Peter and Tony and even himself. Peter curled up next to him, gangly arms that were strong - so strong, Bucky saw him fight, and he was beyond proud - and clingy as they wrapped around Bucky’s waist. 

But he felt restless. Something was missing. He shifted, gazing around the room, with its soft features. It was missing the alpha. Not him, not Bucky. The Alpha. He spoke, and it came out as a wary whisper, “Tony.”

“It’s okay,” Peter said softly, rubbing Bucky’s side with his hand. “He’ll be back. He promised.”

Tony promised. That was all Bucky needed to know. So he laid back, as Peter urged, and let the calm engulf him. He threaded his fingers through Peter’s hair, listening to the boy practically purr under the attention. All the while, he waited. Tony would come. 

When Tony finally entered his fuzzy field of vision, dropping down to crawl over to him, Bucky felt a shudder run through him. A tiredness and weakness unlike any before. It wasn’t until Tony was gathering him in his arms that Bucky realized he was crying. It was coming sharp and fast, a near sob, and all he could think about was remembering to breathe and dead bodies. 

“You’re okay,” Tony whispered, holding him tighter. “I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry, alpha,” Bucky said, voice made weak by the tears that would just not stop.

“Hey, no,” Tony snapped, lifting Bucky’s face so they were looking each other eye to eye. “What you did tonight? Yeah, a little extreme, but you proved that you are strong. I don’t give a shit if you’re an omega or an alpha, tonight you just proved you are no different from anyone else. They may think differently, but if it had been their kid? They would have done the same. And for that, I am damn proud of you.”

Bucky let Tony tug him closer, finding the muscled arms around him comforting. He kept his hand on Peter, who had already fallen asleep with his head on Bucky’s hip. He thought about what happened tonight and found he didn’t really know. It was like he had lived a dream, only to wake up and have it immediately fade. All Bucky could do was let Tony Stark hold him like he was worth something, because without that he honestly didn’t know what he was anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually rewrote the newscaster scene three times. I hate the news, so I avoid it, and apparently I can't get it right when I write it. But I was always watching Bucky be "wiped" again in the movie, so...let's blame that trauma for EVERYTHING in this chapter. Stupid Sebastian Stan and his dramatic eyes, it's killing me. I literally can't handle it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bring you more naughty touching!

“How do you feel about the parole board’s decision to limit your access to the outside world?” Dr Grodin asked, though Bucky wasn’t looking at her. He was staring out the window of his living room. “I’m sure it must feel claustrophobic to be stuck in here when you were able to leave the Tower before.”

He shook his head. “It’s what it is.”

“Bucky, you do need to talk about this,” she said, frowning at him. 

“Because that’s what they want, right?” Bucky asked, still not looking at her. “They need me to talk, to explain why I did what I did. There is no explanation past I wanted to protect him. I’d do it again.”

“It’s the fact that they know you’d do it again that is part of the problem,” Dr Grodin admitted.

At that Bucky finally looked over, a scowl on his face. “Why should I be ashamed of going to whatever lengths needed to protect my family?”

“You understand why they were forced to put you under house arrest, Bucky,” she said, tilting her head in that odd curious way she had.

“We aren’t legally a family,” Bucky said, repeating what was told to him. Apparently his actions, combined his with past trauma, was a rather normal reaction considering the danger the Avengers often found themselves in. Well, it was normal if you were a real family, a family stated on paper but not for what was in the heart. No one had listened to Tony’s explanation of Bucky’s development and how Peter had been integral to Bucky’s stability. No one cared. 

Bucky was fully aware he should be happy he wasn’t actually in jail, but apparently the fact he could easily escape without even trying was a bit of a problem. He did understand the thinking of catering to him, let him have the home he had made for himself so that he stayed in one location for observation. Bucky didn’t have to be happy with the only fresh air being the roof garden once again, but he got to see those who were important. He honestly didn’t feel the need to say much else about it.

Dr Grodin kept digging though, and he had to remind himself that it was her job to do so.

“I know this is hard and trust me, I fought the bastards as much as I could with regard to your mental status,” Dr Grodin finally said, sharing what the whole conversation had been leading up to. “I don’t like it, but politics aren’t my game. I want to help you as I can, while pleasing them just enough. Help me do that.”

“Tell them…” Bucky tilted his head and finally looked her in the eye. “Tell them about how Peter’s reaction to what I had done effected me. I don’t want him scared of me, I won’t risk him being afraid of me.”

“Has he been afraid of you since?” she asked.

“No, not exactly,” he said with a soft smile. “He was not happy about the people who died. I got a very intense lecture, with threats involving chemistry experiments. But, he’s not afraid of me. Just wary of what I’m willing to do.”

“And Tony?” she asked, a slight smile on her face.

“He’s been...affectionate.” Bucky could feel himself blushing and hated it, but it was something of his old life. He was an alpha, he remembered that, but he wasn’t bold, just flirty. The way Tony was with him, like physical affection was so natural and the man couldn’t help himself, brought out a shyness Bucky wasn’t expecting.

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yeah, it is,” he admitted.

“Good,” she said, sounding satisfied. “And I hope you’re keeping up the journaling?” 

“Miss Friday ordered me a new one,” he said as an answer. His journaling had become a strange combination of thoughts and storytelling, thanks to the memories the BARF treatment had triggered. He didn’t want to think of what would happen when they fully started it, without the testing mode. He didn’t want to know what his brain would come up with then.

“From my understanding, the BARF has been on hold?” she asked, her face twisting slightly at the name as it did every time she said it. Bucky almost found it adorable.

“Tony is waiting for me, I think,” he admitted. “We have a few more emotions to run through before we can get to...Hydra.”

“I bet you’re feeling a bit impatient about it,” she commented.

“No…” Bucky swallowed. “I wish I didn’t have to remember everything.”

“Are you worried about the triggers? Right now, with everything that has happened.”

“I don’t think I’ve had the energy to worry,” Bucky admitted. He looked back at the window, wondering how strong the breeze was. “I think my life has gotten more complicated than that.”

“I’m not going to argue with you there,” she said, smiling. “Keep up with the journaling. I want you to focus on acknowledging your feelings about things. Right now that’s what you’re meant to do with BARF. You need to be aware of the emotions you are feeling now in regular life, to help you with the preliminary testing in that program. Before you start a journal entry, I want you to simply write what emotion you are feeling. You can describe it in detail or simply write a word. But you need to pay attention to what it is and how it affects what you write.”

Bucky nodded, feeling the weight that such a job was on his shoulders. It shouldn’t be, they were simple emotions, but knowing he had to acknowledge them was something he just wasn’t used to doing. The moment he got emotional, he got wiped clean. He looked up at Dr Grodin, who was watching him with an almost affection expression, and knew she wouldn’t wipe him clean any time soon.

“Okay,” he said, keeping his face blank, unsure of the actual emotions those thoughts had created.

*

Tony leaned back on his sofa, watching Bucky watch the movie playing on the large television in Tony’s living room. The man had a small smile on his face, despite the sad storyline of the movie they were viewing. Tony never commented on it, but he found Bucky’s enjoyment of the sadder, more dramatic film features a little on the curious side. He was willing to sit with him, though, if only to see that tiny, content smile hit Bucky’s face. 

He waited until the end credits were rolling before clearing his throat to catch Bucky’s attention. “I was thinking we could get back to the BARF sessions tomorrow, if you feel up to it?”

“Tony, I keep trying to tell you,” Bucky said with a wider smile. “I’m fine, if anything it’s you who’s been acting off. I guess me going feral scared you more than me.”

“Hey, I was not scared,” Tony defended, shifting around, so he was face to face with him. “Look, I found what you did brave and oddly sexy, but not scary. I guess…” Tony closed his eyes, trying to figure out the words. “The whole BARF thing? I’ve been hesitant to dive into it again with you, because those emotions we’re avoiding of anger and fear? I don’t think even you know what we’re going to see and that terrifies me, because I don’t want this to hurt you.”

“We can’t keep putting it off,” Bucky pointed out. “I don’t think the parole board is going to be patient with us forever. If they don’t start seeing results, they might see me as more trouble than I’m worth.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Tony growled. He let out a sigh. “We’ll start up again tomorrow, as I said, but I’m still setting this to your pace.”

“In that case, it’s getting late,” Bucky said, pushing himself to his feet. “I should try to actually sleep tonight.”

“Wait!” Tony called out. “You don’t, I mean... Wow, okay, can I make this more awkward? Bucky, you’ve ended up sleeping in my bed most of the week and while I have no problem with you sneaking your way in here at two in the morning…” He paused, watching the way Bucky seemed to hunch in on himself at Tony’s words. Sighing, Tony stood and stepped over to him, reaching out a hand to tug playfully at the hem of Bucky’s t-shirt. “I thought that you might want to try things a little differently? Like, oh, starting off in my bed so you don’t have to wake up all alone?”

Bucky peeked up at him through his hair, eyes wide. The silence in the room is almost overwhelming and Tony, for a brief moment, almost wants to take back his offer just to alleviate the tension. Then Bucky seemed to relax, all his muscles loosing that whipcord look of a man about to run. A blush, Tony’s favorite, spreads across the man’s cheeks as he nods. “I should, uh, go get something to wear.”

“If you insist on staying dressed,” Tony teased, enjoying the way Bucky just rolled his eyes and headed for the elevator.

Tony stood there for a moment, staring at the elevator like that alone would speed up Bucky’s progress. He shook his head and turned on his heel, quickly making his way to the bathroom to try and freshen up a little. It was ridiculous, because Bucky had been crawling into his bed off and on for more than a week now and Tony was pretty sure he’d had bed-head and grit in his eyes the few times he’d managed to wake up to the man shifting the mattress. But this time felt different. For the first time, Tony had made a point to initiate it himself.

He’d literally asked the Winter Soldier into his bed.

He had to be honest with himself: Tony Stark kind of felt like a teenager as he brushed his teeth and then went to quickly make his bed. He felt nervous, even though he knew full well that all they were going to do was sleep, but even that felt intimate when he stopped to think about it. 

Tony looked up from fluffing what was slowly becoming Bucky’s pillow and dropped it onto the bed at the sight of Bucky hovering in the doorway. The man was in his usual pajama pants and white shirt, his arm wrapped around his own waist nervously. The sight of Bucky looked so uncomfortable immediately caused Tony to push his own worries aside. He walked over, gently crowding Bucky’s into the wall by the door, and kissed him softly on the cheek. “Hey, there.”

Bucky was silent, all big eyes as he let Tony take his hand and lead him over to the bed.

“Don’t look so scared,” Tony said softly, pulling the blanket and sheet back before pushing Bucky into a sitting position. He leaned over him, unable to stop himself from cupping his face, letting one thumb briefly trace Bucky’s lower lip. “It’s just sleeping, I promise.”

Bucky stared up at him, meeting his gaze head on in a way no actual omega ever would. Tony had no urge to fight that display of dominance, though. Something about Bucky was just the right amount of omega to keep Tony from feeling that aggressive urge to be the stronger alpha in the room. Then again, he’d always been a bit of an oddball himself. Bucky blinked up at him. “Just sleep.”

“Yeah,” Tony replied, hearing how rough his voice sounded. He couldn’t exactly help himself, the man was sitting on his bed, gazing up at him and all Tony wanted to do was push him down and pin him. He started to pull his hands away, the temptation just too much.

That’s when Bucky surged forward, lifting himself slightly off the bed to press their mouths together in a rushed kiss. Tony stared at him, barely reacting as Bucky dropped back down. Then a rush of warmth went through him, and he was pressing in for another kiss. He found himself kissing Bucky softly, nothing moving forward until those lips parted to allow in his tongue. 

A soft groan echoed in Tony’s ears, emitting from his own chest, as Bucky grasped his shirt and gave a swift tug to pull him down. He had to reach out to keep himself from falling right on Bucky, but the one-armed man was already laying back, causing Tony to find himself draped over his body. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, his legs were off the bed and Bucky had one foot planted on the edge and was trying to get leverage to shift further upward, but it was still perfect.

Eventually Bucky’s wiggling around got Tony’s full attention, and he lifted enough to get them on the bed in a way that wouldn’t cause him to just slide off at any moment. The pause in kissing gave him a moment to just look at Bucky, brushing his hair back and noting the reddened lips. “You are so beautiful.”

Bucky gave a small shake of his head and pulled Tony back down for another kiss. Tony wanted to break it just so he could insist, because the man was gorgeous, but he instead allowed himself to be caught up in his touch instead. He found himself settled between Bucky’s thighs and couldn’t help the small thrust of his hips, swallowing down the soft gasp that escaped Bucky’s throat. And damn, did he want to just drive his hips down, get Bucky to moan and flush and beg. 

“We should stop,” Tony said, ignoring his own words just to kiss along Bucky’s jawline to his throat, which the man bared to him easily. “Don’t want to get carried away.”

“Don’t mind it with you,” Bucky said in a husky tone that sent shivers along Tony’s spine.

“Might be too fast,” Tony said, feeling Bucky’s hand clutch at his waist when his lips brushed against his neck. 

“Who says I’d let you get that far?” Bucky asked, a hint of amusement lacing his words.

Tony chuckled, “That almost sounds like a challenge.”

Bucky’s hand came up to cup his face, to force him to meet his eyes for a brief second before leaning in for another kiss that started soft but once Bucky’s tongue was involved Tony couldn’t slow down to save his life. He had Bucky pinned, their kiss not even a battle of domination, both moving in perfect tandem as Tony couldn’t stop himself from rocking downward just to hear Bucky groan. 

It felt like a frenzy, he couldn’t stop it. The pleasure, the mere feel of Bucky below him. And Bucky wasn’t helping things at all when he hooked one leg around Tony’s thigh, pulling him harder against his body. 

“Shit, Snowflake,” Tony groaned out, dropping his head to nuzzle at Bucky’s pale neck. “What happened to just sleeping?”

“Not tired,” Bucky growled, threading his fingers through Tony’s hair and giving a small tug that should not have felt as good as it did. Tony nipped at the soft skin next to Bucky’s Adam’s apple, grinning when it caused him to let out a small whine. “Tease.”

“Hey, no name-calling,” Tony ordered with a laugh, sliding a hand along Bucky’s side until he could slip it under his shirt and press his palm against smooth, heated flesh. Tony paused long enough to gauge the heat of the skin, before deciding it wasn’t overly hot like when Bucky had gone into heat. They still weren’t sure what Bucky’s cycle was and right then it was not a good time to test whether either one of them could hold back in that situation.

Tony dropped another kiss on Bucky’s neck before lifting his head to get a good look at the man. Eyes half-lidded, Bucky had an almost feline quality to him as he lay there, watching Tony with an almost self-satisfied energy. Like the man was basking in the fact that he was the one who got Tony worked up like this. Tony couldn’t fight down his grin and he kissed Bucky softly, lightly teasing his lower lip with his tongue.

Bucky let out a hum, body arching slightly, creating a gentle sort of friction that was somehow more erotic than the thrusting they had done in the workshop so long ago. Tony went with him, following Bucky’s lead, keeping every touch as soft as he could while he was hard as a rock and wanted nothing more than to pin Bucky’s wrist to the bed and bite down on his neck in an obvious claim. Bucky’s other leg curled up, providing Tony more space to move, and he couldn’t help reaching down and grabbing his thigh, sliding his hand under it and holding it in place.

Bucky gasped in response, head falling back and baring his neck. Unable to stop himself, Tony pressed his nose just under Bucky’s ear, breathing in deep and feeling the shiver run through Bucky’s body in response. With Tony pressed against him, holding his leg and keeping his other hand pressed firmly against Bucky’s side, the other man had little room to move. Tony could feel Bucky trying to rock up against him, but Tony merely pressed in closer, taking control of the slow grind they had started.

He couldn’t get enough of the small noises Bucky was making or the way his hand kept clutching at Tony’s hair in a spasm like he had no control over it. 

Tony kissed his way up to Bucky’s mouth, kissing him lightly on the corner of his lips and smiling when Bucky let out a whine of frustration. He looked down at the man, letting their noses touch in an Eskimo kiss and smiling more when Bucky’s face flushed. “God, you are so damn beautiful, I don’t give a shit what you say.”

“Tony,” Bucky said, voice sounding nearly strained. 

He kissed him again, before rocking his hips just a little harder, meeting Bucky’s groan with his own. The pace was so sedate and yet Tony could feel himself close to falling over that edge. He gripped Bucky’s thigh and lifted it high, opening him up more, causing the man to let out a high whine, hips trying to move. Tony’s other hand dropped and grasped onto his hip, pinning him to the bed, so he was stuck replying only on Tony’s slow thrusts.

Tony nipped at Bucky’s earlobe, breathing in the heady scent Bucky was giving off of desire and want and mine mine mine.

“Yes,” Bucky gasped, making a near sobbing sound. “Tony, please.”

“I got you,” Tony said, kissing just below his ear. “Come on, baby, I want to hear you. Tell me how good I make you feel.”

Bucky moaned, his body trying once more to arch. Tony bit lightly on his neck, loving the way Bucky’s muscles seemed to spasm from head to toe in response. Bucky let out a rumbling growl, that ended on a whine when Tony ground his hips down hard.

“Yeah, god, look at you,” Tony muttered, watching Bucky’s eyes roll back and mouth part with small gasps. “Shit, please, Snowflake, come on, come for me. Be a good omega and come for me, show me that I’m giving you what you need.”

“Tony,” Bucky said, or rather tried. His voice caught in his throat and his fingers clenched hard at Tony’s shoulder. As Tony watched, Bucky cried out, teeth baring, body arching off the bed hard enough to nearly knock Tony off. Tony kept grinding down, chasing Bucky’s orgasm, reaching for his own, smelling the pure scent of Bucky and sex in the air.

Tony blinked, body feeling lethargic in a way it never had before, and he almost wanted to curse his luck that he would black out during what was probably the most intense orgasm of his life. Bucky was still underneath him, legs wrapped around Tony’s hips in a lazy manner as his fingers combed through Tony’s hair. He couldn’t help tilting his head into the caress. “That was amazing. You’re amazing.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Tony could feel the contentment in the man’s very touch.

“Maybe next time we can try this without our clothes,” Tony said, grinning when Bucky’s chest vibrated underneath him in a soft chuckle. He looked up and met Bucky’s gaze. “We should probably get some sleep. You wore me out.”

“I need to change again,” Bucky said, frowning. 

Tony laughed. “Yeah, me too. I should have something that fits you.”

“Really?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, I am not that small!” Tony exclaimed. He allowed himself a small pout as he finally climbed off Bucky and walked over to the dresser. “You know, you really should respect me more. I’m the alpha, after all.”

He pulled out a pair of pants that were a couple sizes too big from the back of one of the drawers and turned back to Bucky, only to jump when he found the man standing right behind him. He hadn’t even heard the mattress shift. Bucky leaned in, looking him up and down, before reaching out and grabbing the pants in his hands. There was a small smile on Bucky’s face as he tugged the pants free from his grip, the expression on his face almost condescending in response to Tony’s alpha claim. Tony wasn’t entirely sure if he was feeling yet another surge of arousal or simply unease as Bucky turned and headed for the bathroom to change. 

*

“So, here’s the thing,” Tony said, not looking up from his computer as Bucky entered the BARF room. Bucky had woken up that morning to find Tony still in bed, watching him out of the corner of his eye while browsing his StarkPad and sipping coffee. It had felt domestic, reminding Bucky of how easy being with Tony was, how natural. Tony sighed, glancing up as Bucky sat down in the chair. “While I would love to focus on the happy emotions, we gotta save love for last. That’s going to be our golden emotion, the one that you’re going to look back on the most to get through all the rest of it.”

“So today is an anger day?” Bucky asked, knowing that was the emotion everyone was most wary of him diving into.

“It’s up to you, Snowflake,” Tony said, softy. “Anger or fear. But keep in mind, anger and fear take a lot of different forms. Hell, utter disgust is classified under anger.”

Bucky sat there for a moment, thinking. He remembered the night before, how safe he felt with Tony above him, like the man was sheltering him even in the midst of the erotic act they were doing. Even just picturing it in his head, Bucky felt a shade of that safety. Sighing, he looked up at Tony. “Fear. I want to get it over with.”

“Well, I can’t really argue with that logic,” Tony admitted. He walked over with a soft smile, holding up the sensors and waiting for Bucky to nod before he began applying them. Bucky watched him, expression growing gentle when Tony kissed his temple before placing one of the sensors there. “There’s no need to be nervous.”

“I don’t think I’m the nervous one,” Bucky said, watching as Tony let out a long breath.

“It’s just… your mind is very detailed, which is amazing considering your memory problems,” Tony said, reaching up to rub at his own temple. “When I used BARF if was more like a 3D movie, you know? With you, it’s like we are actually there. Which goes to prove just how amazing your mind is, but yes, I’m a little nervous.”

Bucky remained quiet for a moment, before grabbing Tony and pulling him into a hug. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

He felt Tony chuckle against his shoulder. “I don’t think you will, but you never know what’s going to happen. I can’t say I’ve prepared for everything.”

“I thought you were a genius,” Bucky teased.

“Okay, you need to hush,” Tony said, pulling away. 

Bucky watched him walk over to the table, trying to remember that he was supposed to be trying to clear his mind instead of joking around with Tony like he didn’t have a care in the world. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing, listening as Tony gave his usual instructions. He tried to focus on a single memory, searching back, trying to avoid the obvious ones of Hydra, where fear laced every word and thought.

It was a struggle, one that was beyond frustrating. And he knew Tony was just sitting there, giving him all the time he needed, even though his mind remained perfectly blank. So he pushed and pushed, head beginning to ache.

“Bucky?” That voice, he knew that voice. 

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

“This isn’t a back alley, Steve. It’s war!”

Bullets, gunpowder. A scratchy uniform. Capture. Nazis, he hated Nazis. Burning in his veins. He’s strapped down and can’t breathe and there is yelling and explosions. He can’t breathe. Something’s wrong, there’s something in him. They put something in him.

Familiar face. Everything’s wrong. Doesn’t look right. He doesn’t feel right. He can barely see, can’t breathe. “I thought you were dead.”

“I thought you were smaller.”

Everything goes black and all Bucky knows is that he’s on the floor, vomiting up a breakfast he doesn’t remember eating. He can’t smell the gunpowder or the strange scent of chemicals anymore, but he can still feel the dull burn of something flowing through his veins. What changed him, slowly. What allowed him to survive the damn fall from the train and not die as they cut away flesh and replaced his arm. It’s burning in him still, and he can only try to breathe.

He can hear a soft voice beside him and all he can feel is relief that it’s not Steve. A gentle touched to his shoulder, and it’s familiar, a wonderful type of familiar. He sucked in as much air as he could, feeling himself shake. 

“It’s going to be okay, Snowflake,” Tony whispered to him. “I’m sorry, I should have realized not everything can be brought down to one single moment. I should have been prepared.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, because he knew Tony enough to know that nothing he said would stop Tony’s overthinking. Instead, he scooted away from the sick on the floor and let Tony pull him into a hug. He breathed in Tony’s scent and let that comfort him in a way nothing else would at that moment.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet!
> 
> Shit's getting real, as you will see at the end.
> 
> So I added a little wacky to it with a surprise guest....

“I’m surprised you had the time to meet with us,” Carol comment, peering across her coffee at Tony. There was an amused sparkle to her eye that Tony knew he should be wary of, but ignored it in favor of raising his own drink as he sat down next to Rhodey and her at the small café nestle into the nearest residential area to the Tower. “It’s been nearly three weeks since the APPA incident, we were starting to think Barnes had you held captive.”

Tony grinned at that, letting his silence and expression speak for itself.

“Captive, indeed,” Carol said dryly.

“Enough about Tony’s sex life,” Rhodey said, sounding exasperated. Which wasn’t exactly fair, Rhodey didn’t have to hear the details as much as he did during their college days.

“But everyone wants to know about my sex life,” Tony replied, pouting. Not that there was anything dramatic to know, he and Bucky weren’t exactly running around like a couple of horny teenagers. They slept in the same bed and, yes, so far that had triggered a couple of wonderful moments of mutual appreciation and pleasure, but they were still hesitant. Tony had even yet to see the man full naked.

He would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he desperately want to, though. 

“How’s spider-boy?” Carol asked.

“Good,” Tony replied. “Today is Bucky’s bonding day with him. It’s something Bucky started insisting on after the APPA situation, to help keep the kid’s scent fresh in his nose. They are at home right now, actually, having a cooking lesson. I believe Vision is joining them?”

“Oh, yeah, he seemed oddly excited,” Carol replied, before tilting her head. “I think.”

“And the troops? How are they?” Tony asked, picking up the menu the waitress had left them thirty minutes ago, on the off chance they changed their mind about wanting something more than coffee.

“Something of interest happened between Maximoff and Barton the other day,” Carol offered.

“Oh? Did her magic-” Tony started.

“No,” Rhodey replied with a chuckle. “Actually, she’s getting better, Tones. Whatever she saw happening with Steve and what part she had in it, it scared her good and proper. No, she finally got to meet his family.”

“She hasn’t before?” Tony asked.

“I think it’s safe to say that her tiny bit of hero worship for him would have died a long time ago if she had,” Carol said with a smirk. “With the way that girl goes on about her brother once you get her talking, I wasn’t that surprised about the rage she showed when she realized the damage Barton had done to his own wife and kids by leaving them like that. Thankfully, the lessons in control have been helping, because she just pinned him to a wall while yelling at him for a while instead of outright hurting him.”

“Yeah,” Rhodey said, grinning. “She kept going on about how he was a failure as a provider. I never saw his face so red.”

“Damn, can I get footage of that?” Tony asked.

Carol nodded, “I’ll email it over. But, needless to say, Barton has decided to make a career change.”

“What, is he trying retirement again?” 

“No,” Rhodey replied. “Laura and him realized him going cold turkey might have been part of the problem, so he’s going to be a consultant and help train, but no more missions unless it’s necessary.”

Tony nodded, feeling good about that. He and Barton always had a strange give and take when it came to being annoyed and frustrated with one another, but he had always thought the man was a good guy in the end. Tony was glad he hadn’t been wrong about that. “And the others?”

“Romanoff is still on the mend,” Rhodey said. “She might not get full leg function back from whatever that toxin did, the doctor’s are thinking of permanent nerve damage. She’ll still be good in the field, though, with some physical therapy.”

Tony pretended to read the menu a bit more, knowing he was putting off asking about the main reason for this little meeting. Thankfully, Carol was the type to jump right into things and didn’t give him any time to sit and overthink, “Rogers is...we’re not sure what is going on there.”

“Bucky hasn’t been showing as many signs of withdrawal,” Tony admitted. “Actually, none at all since his little APPA spree.”

“We’ve slowly been letting Rogers have more freedom again. He still can’t leave the Compound and won’t be on missions any time soon, of course, but we need to know if we can trust him around the people who are supposed to be his teammates,” Rhodey said. He was quiet for a moment, before meeting Tony’s eyes. “You ever look at a guy and feel...like there’s something missing?”

Tony felt his eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not that he’s gotten mean,” Carol tried to explain. “He’s smiling, he’s training, and he’s talking all optimistic like he had before. Except it’s like every word that the man says and every action he does is...dead. Like it’s all a play.”

“He’s got our psychiatrists spooked,” Rhodey admitted, shaking his head. “They said it’s like the Steve Rogers they were treating when he was first pardoned is a completely different man than the one in front of them today, and the guy in the psyche records? Even more different.”

“So, what? Are you trying to tell me he’s turned into a sociopath?” Tony asked. “You don’t just develop that kind of thing, not after being alive for an eternity.” He paused, before his eyes darted between them. “Do you think Bucky’s in danger?”

“That’s not what we are saying at all,” Rhodey assured him. “We just want you aware of what’s going on, just in case things seem off with Bucky.”

“This could just mean the bond is finally gone,” Tony said, sounding hopeful.

“It could,” Carol said with a small shrug. “But...I’ve seen a lot of bonds die while fighting out there in space. I’ve seen omegas die peacefully in their sleep while their alpha gave their life in battle. I’ve seen alphas go mad when they see their omega gunned down in front of them. There’ve been bonded pairs that have walked away with a handshake, no worries. And I’ve seen slave cultures where ripping apart bonds was used as punishment and torture when an omega slave was found no longer wanted. I’ve watched men and women go insane from bond withdrawal, and I’ve seen them walk away like it was a band-aid being pulled off. Rogers is not behaving in any way I’ve ever seen.”

Tony closed his eyes and fought the urge to get up and head straight home, to see Bucky and Peter covered in flour while a patient Vision tried to explain the actual steps in whatever it was they were cooking. He wanted to hug them. To kiss Bucky. To tell Vision he needed to come around more often. To make science happen with Peter. Because this? Was just too much.

“Rogers is planning something,” Tony surmised. 

“Who can say,” Carol admitted.

“It’s something to keep an eye on,” Rhodey said. “At least we’re aware of that much.”

*

“I’m starting to see why your sister hates the post office,” Tony announced, handing over what could only be a letter from said sister to Bucky. “How did you get her to stop using the delivery service, anyway?”

Bucky accepted the letter and carefully began opening it, sliding out a smaller envelope and a sheet of paper. He frowned, opening up the paper before answering Tony. “She isn’t. The nurse at her retirement home takes it to the post office for her. Rebecca doesn’t know she’s not using the delivery service anymore.”

“That’s kinda mean in a devious sort of way,” Tony commented.

“Rebecca was always the type to do the exact same thing, so I suppose she doesn’t have much room to talk,” Bucky said with a small smile, one that fell immediately as he began to read the letter in his hand. He didn’t realize he was tipping over until Tony’s hands were grabbing his arm and side, guiding him over to a seat by the workshop’s window. 

“Bucky, what’s wrong?” Tony asked. “Peter, get him some water.”

“She’s hurt,” Bucky said, ignoring how small his voice sounded. “It’s from the nurse, she said Rebecca fell last week and broke her shoulder. She got a cut when she hit the work table in the garden and it’s really infected, they can’t get it to go down with regular antibiotics.”

“Hey, she’ll be alright,” Tony said. “From what you’ve told me, she’s as stubborn as you are.”

“She is, but she doesn’t have my healing,” Bucky replied, looking up at Tony worryingly. 

“Okay, you read her letter and let her tell you she’s fine and not to worry like every little old lady in the world likes to do,” Tony said, handing him the sealed envelope with Rebecca’s careful cursive on it. Tony then snatched up the nurse’s letter. “And I’m going to get in touch with our nurse, uh, Nurse Rachel to see if there is anything we can do and what visiting hours are.”

“Visiting? Tony, I can’t leave the Tower,” Bucky pointed out. He let Peter take the envelope from him and help him open it, sipping at the water he was handed gratefully.

“Prisoners get day-passes for family emergencies,” Peter piped up.

“Exactly, and you’ll have Iron Man and maybe an Avenger or two as a bodyguard,” Tony said. “I’ll get it all cleared. I’m not letting you sit here worrying about your sister like this when you can just go see her. Besides, I’ve been meaning to take a look at what services this retirement home she’s in provides, anyway.”

Bucky looked away in order to hide his scowl. Not because he wasn’t grateful, he was, and he wanted more than anything to see his sister finally. No, it was because if he knew Rebecca even just a little bit - and through their writing he knew he was going to be right in this - Rebecca wasn’t going to just sit down and let Tony Stark sweep in and ‘fix things’. 

They had been raised in a Catholic family, and not a rich one by any means. As a result, it had instilled a sense of honor and stubbornness in them to not take charity and work for what you needed. Even with their father off to war, his mother wasn’t the type to accept pity from others. She said that God provided to those that reached for what they needed, not those that lay in waste. Tony meant well and Bucky knew giving was his way of showing love, but sometimes Bucky didn’t know how to tell the man to just stop and let that care happen naturally.

“Tony, slow down,” Bucky said, trying to stare the man into just pausing. Sometimes Tony was harder to pin down than Peter, and Peter was the one with the youthful energy. He waited until Tony was actually looking at him before continuing, “I’ll go see her, you can arrange that, but don’t rush in there like you’re saving the day.”

“Yeah, but if there’s something I can do, an upgrade-” Tony started.

“Maybe go about it a little quieter than you usually do?” Peter offered, glancing Bucky’s way with an expression that indicated the kid knew what he was thinking. Considering how Tony lavished Peter with things without even thinking about it, Bucky was certain he knew exactly where Bucky was going with this. “Not everyone gets that you’re just trying to help. Do you really want yet another place putting your name on the building, and then gossiping a week later?”

Tony sighed, “Yeah, I can see what you mean. But if I can help get your sister up and running around faster, I’m doing it.”

“I’ll take that,” Bucky agreed. They watched Tony pull out his phone and walk to the elevator, already on the phone to get Bucky cleared for the trip out of the Tower. Bucky turned back to Peter once Tony was out of earshot. “Thanks for the back-up.”

“Sometimes he doesn’t get that we love him for him, you know?” Peter said with a sad shrug. He held out the now opened letter to Bucky before perching himself on a nearby stool, practically resting all his weight on his toes like it was the most comfortable position in the world. “Do you think they’ll let you go to see her?”

“I doubt they’ll be able to tell Tony no,” Bucky admitted, skimming the letter and fighting the urge to roll his eyes as it didn’t give a single hint that there was anything wrong at all. He should have expected as much from his sister.

“That is the benefit to being Iron Man and having your name on every life-saving tech in the country,” Peter agreed. He sat in silence for a moment, leaving Bucky to inspect his letter. “Hey, uh, Bucky?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s it like, uh, being with Mr Stark - I mean, Tony?” Peter asked, flushing a bright red.

Bucky blinked up at him, trying to decipher exactly what Peter meant. 

“I just, was wondering, I mean…” Peter let out a rush of air and dropped fully onto the stool, letting his legs dangle. “I’m not asking about, you know, exactly, but...what’s it like, to have someone like that love you? And I don’t mean because he’s an alpha, or maybe I do, I just. I was just wondering how it feels.”

Bucky cleared his throat, setting the letter to the side and pushing back a strange feeling of nervousness. Tony had never said the words I love you, and Bucky certainly hadn’t allowed himself to think them. Peter implied it like it was simply a given that they felt that way and Bucky didn’t have it in him to deny it. It wouldn’t cause any harm, after all, allowing himself to believe they had those feelings for just this conversation. And they did love Peter enough to share that unique, nearly parental bond between them.

And maybe, it wasn’t exactly pretend on his end.

He thought about Peter’s question for a moment, completely ignoring the boy’s blushing hint toward sex, because he wasn’t ready to even engage fully in that act let alone talk to Peter about it. Finally, he reached out and grabbed Peter’s arm, tugging. Peter came easily and Bucky scooted over, making just enough room for Peter to curl up next to him. Bucky placed his chin on Peter’s shoulder and sighed. “It feels safe.”

“There’s got to be more to it than that,” Peter protested.

“Look, all the other stuff is there. The attraction and desire. I look at him and I feel too many things to make sense of it,” Bucky admitted. “It’s actually a bit terrifying and that’s the thing. Even when I’m afraid of how I feel or if he’ll let me touch him or if I’ll say something wrong? I still feel safe. I feel like I can stand in front of the scariest enemy and know that he’s right behind me, ready to help. And he’s not going to take care of it for me, he’s going to reach out and give me the weapon I need to fight. That’s what I mean by safe.”

“You never felt like that before?” Peter asked.

“Not really,” Bucky admitted. “I went into the army pretty fast and then, well, Hydra. I dated, I remember that, but I never took a look at someone and thought, ‘yes, that one.’”

“Have you told him?” Peter’s voice was soft, like he was afraid of Tony suddenly walking around the corner and hearing them.

He laughed. “God, no. I wouldn’t even know where to start. I...there’s too much there, Peter.”

“I think you should tell him,” Peter insisted.

“Have you told the person you’re thinking about right now how you feel? I know someone has triggered all these questions.”

Peter turned red again. “I’m in high school, half of my class gives me those thoughts.”

“Sure,” Bucky said, leaning to the side to get a good look at Peter’s face. “Because those are the thoughts we’re talking about here.”

There was a groan and Peter covered his face. “It’s nothing, okay, there’s just been this guy, okay? And it’s not in any way serious or even romantic, so stop growling!”

Bucky cleared his throat, having not realized he had started growling in the first place. He sighed. “Okay, kid, explain this one more time.”

“I keep running into him when I’m on patrol,” Peter mumbled and Bucky reached up to tug his hands down, so he could hear him better. “He just pops up, kills a couple of the people I’m fighting, sasses at me, then disappears. It’s annoying, and he wasn’t there the last few days or so and I’m worried that I haven’t seen him, which made me worried about what is wrong with me. Why should I care if that jerk is okay or not?”

Bucky sat still, trying to decipher the rapid set of words that had rushed out of the kid. He wanted to zero in on the fact that someone was killing people in front of Peter, but knew that wouldn’t go over very well and made a mental note to tell Tony about it later, so they could set up spy cameras or something more high-tech and up Tony Stark’s alley. 

“Okay, are you worried about him because you’re a really nice person, and you got used to seeing him?” Bucky asked. “Or because you are having instinct drive you to feeling that way, like you crave having him near?”

“What’s the difference?” Peter asked.

“One is a simple thought process and the other is most likely hormone or omega driven,” Bucky explained. 

“So, this could just be me overthinking things?” Peter replied, starting to smile.

“Probably?” Bucky returned, feeling completely out of his depths.

“I told Ned to stop worrying,” Peter said, sounding happy once again. Bucky really wished he could switch his emotions over so easily, but he had a feeling that was a Peter exclusive ability to be happy nearly all the time. “Ned thinks the guy should get his ass kicked. Actually offered to do it himself. Can you believe that? Ned’s been really weird here lately, actually. You’d think someone threatened to kidnap me or something, he’s always over at my house now. And he got so grumpy when he found out I’d be over here today, like I was leaving the country or something.”

Bucky stared at Peter, talking away without a single clue as he made his way to his workstation. He wondered if he should be the one to say something, because it was very clear Peter had one obvious blind eye when it came to alpha-omega driven behavior. But while Bucky would rampage through the entire city for the kid, he wasn’t sure if he was equipped to have a conversation that was more in depth than the one he just had. 

Instead, he stood and went in search of a pen and paper to write his sister back. He’d let Tony know about the murderous patrol buddy Peter had found as well as Ned’s recent behavior later. While Tony’s initial freak-out would be highly amusing to watch, Bucky knew the man would take care of the situation quickly. It was just one more thing that Bucky loved about the man.

*

Bucky sat in the back of one of Tony’s more subdued looking cars, this one driven by his driver Happy while Tony, Bucky, and Sam Wilson sat in the back. Wilson was what Tony had called ‘on loan’ from the Avengers under the agreement he had reached with the parole board for Bucky’s trip to Rebecca’s retirement home in Brooklyn. Wilson had been one of the few members free, being between stake-outs and research missions, and the board had considered Rhodey joining them as nothing more than a buddies' day out.

“Oh, so we’re taking a little detour to Queens after this,” Tony said, not looking up from his phone. 

Wilson closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. “I knew it. I knew you were going to make this hard for me. You can never just play by the rules, can you?”

“So you have met him?” Bucky responded, smirking slightly at the scowl he got in return.

“Play nice, you two,” Tony ordered, not sounding annoyed in the slightest. “We have a meeting with a mercenary. Your usual shotgun, leave my kid alone thing.”

“You found him?” Bucky asked, not really surprised at how fast Tony had latched on to that problem.

“Apparently he didn’t disappear, he was just out of town for business,” Tony said. 

“Wait, a mercenary has been hanging around the spider-kid and one-arm here hasn’t busted out and slaughtered the entire town yet?” Wilson asked, sounding like he didn’t believe a word of it.

“He’s not afraid,” Bucky said, as though that explained everything. At Wilson’s blank look, Bucky realized it didn’t. “He’s not afraid of this guy at all. Actually, if anything he finds him entertaining, the occasional murder aside. He can handle this, at least he could if he understood what was going on. We just want to make sure we know what that is.”

“Yeah, omegas are so adorably clueless,” Tony said, shooting Bucky a grin that Bucky took for what it really was: simple affection.

The rest of the ride was filled with Wilson muttering to himself and typing on his phone, the actual beeps of each key on the touch screen being hit grating on Bucky’s nerves. He was close to reaching out and grabbing the phone. Not to break, but to at least change the setting to put it on silent. 

“You’re stressing yourself,” Tony said softly, reaching out and grabbing his hand. He smiled over at him, slipping his phone into his pocket to give Bucky his full attention. The car was coming to a complete stop as Tony continued, “Rebecca is going to love you, because you’re awesome and too cute for your own good. Okay?”

He nodded, sending Tony a grateful smile, and climbing out of the car after Wilson. The retirement home doesn’t look like much from the outside, a basic single story building made of red brick. There is a tall fence hiding what is probably the garden area, where he knew Rebecca spent most of her time. Bucky followed Tony, letting the man lead him into the building and to the front desk. He’s barely paying attention as they are directed down one hall and to another. 

Bucky half expected them to end up in the medical ward, what with Rebecca being injured, but the man in scrubs leading them says that most medical issues are dealt with in the patient’s rooms to keep them more comfortable. When they get to the door Tony stayed back with the man, who Bucky can’t remember the name of, and gave Bucky an encouraging smile. The door was already open and the soft sound of music was playing. He shuffled inside, eyes scanning the room, taking in the collection of family photos on the dresser, before landing on the small woman with thick glasses sitting propped up by pillows in the bed.

Bucky’s first thought is a strange one: she looks just like their grandmother. 

When Rebecca first saw him, she jolted for a moment, squinting. Then she laughed, the sound much younger than she looks. While her body is clearly frail, her voice and tone is one of a much younger woman, “Well, I never thought I’d see the day my big brother turned into a hippy. I might have a flower for your hair around here somewhere.”

And just like that, Bucky found himself in the natural, teasing conversation of two siblings that, while separated for years, could easily reconnect. Rebecca wasted no time in making fun of his hair and lack of a clean shave before tearing up over the missing arm. The conversation hardly waned and the first hour passed almost too fast, before the nurse entered to check on her and replace the bandage on her shoulder-blade. The flesh was definitely inflamed, but Rebecca merely rolled her eyes and told him that her doctor was a bigger baby than a politician at a fundraiser. The turn of phrase, one that he has a flash of memory of their father saying, made him laugh.

Eventually, Tony poked his head into the room, “May I interrupt?”

“Too many visitors, they took away my make-up, you know,” Rebecca hissed, blushing heavily when Tony shot her a charming smile.

“It’s wonderful to meet you, ma’am,” Tony greeted. “I knew good looks ran in the family.”

“Oh, he’s much nicer than that other boy,” Rebecca said.

“Other boy?” Bucky asked.

“Oh, Wilson? Don’t mind him, he’s just mad you guys don’t have any decent Wi-Fi,” Tony said, gesturing at the door where Wilson had been hovering, bored, the entire time.

“No, no, the other one,” Rebecca said, humming. She waved her good hand toward the bookshelf in the corner, where at least twenty photo albums were stacked. “Bring me, oh, what is it...the blue one.”

Tony walked over and grabbed the album, brushing off some of the dust before setting it on the bed next to Rebecca’s uninjured side. Rebecca began flipping through the pages and Bucky nearly yelled for her to slow down, because it was filled with images of the forties. So many were just of him, newspaper clippings of his exploits in the war and even photos at a USO dance where he was flirting with a short girl in a dark dress. And in nearly every photo was Steve Rogers.

Bucky swallowed as Rebecca finally slowed down, stopping when Buck reached out to touch a photo of tiny Steve Rogers looking grumpy while a happy looking Bucky Barnes practiced swinging a bat next to him. A lot of feeling washed through him, seeing them like that. So many feelings that he didn’t quite understand, but mostly he was certain he felt longing. For the simplicity of their old friendship, before it had the chance to try to mean anything else.

“Yes, him,” Rebecca interrupted his thoughts, practically spitting out the words.

“Not a fan of Rogers, huh?” Tony said, clearly hiding the fact that he found that bit of information delightful. 

“He was fine when he was young,” Rebecca said, waving a hand. “It was when he got big that was the problem.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked.

“You were overseas already, he missed you,” Rebecca said, her tone going blank. “He’d have his shows, come back here and come see if you’d come back for leave. I didn’t like it. Didn’t like him asking for you, didn’t like him near me. He smelled wrong.”

“Rebecca, the serum changed him. It made him an alpha, like it made me-” Bucky started.

“No,” she snapped, clearly getting upset, her eyes briefly looking scared. “They didn’t change him, they let him be himself. Wrong. What he-” She raised her hand, rubbing at her forehead, breathing deeply. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to ruin our time together.”

“Hey now, little sis,” Bucky said, forcing what she said to the back of his head for later, noting how she was looking paler and her hands were trembling. “I’ll be back to visit, okay. You should get some rest.”

“I’ll bring him back in a couple of weeks, I promise,” Tony told her, stepping over to Bucky’s side as Bucky pulled back from giving her a small hug. 

“Oh do, please,” she said with a smile, shaky but still strong. Then she leaned closer to Bucky, “Definitely approve of this one.”

*

Tony was really only partially paying attention to the mouthy man in red and black leather. Most of his mind was on the strange, possibly old age induced, comments Rebecca had made about Steve Rogers. It was something worth looking into, if anything because it very clearly showed the unhealthy side of Rogers’ interest in Bucky long before any of them realized. Sighing, Tony tuned back into the obnoxious mercenary.

“You clearly know what a turn on it is to be around an omega that can crush your skull with his pinky,” Wade Wilson - Tony was not calling him Deadpool, no - was saying, raising a hand in a flamboyant wave toward Bucky, who looked like he was fighting the urge to laugh, “I mean, you have this tasty piece of whatever-the-fuck.”

“Okay, enough,” Tony growled out. “Spider-Man can defend himself just fine, we all agree there.”

“And if not, sexy-momma over there can kill us all,” Wade said with a happy little sigh. “Kudos, I found back alley footage. So beautiful, it’s really warmed some late nights.”

“Regardless,” Tony said loudly, trying to cut off any more commentary, “he is a kid. As in a minor.”

“And I’m not a pedophile. I’m not tapping that, just keeping it alive,” was the reply. There was a mumble afterwards that indicated an interest in the future, but Tony was willing to ignore that. “Look, the kid is clearly bored slinging around all adorable-like by himself. And I get bored every five seconds. He stays alive, and I get to be entertained.”

“Shit,” Tony looked over at Bucky, “am I about to agree to this guy patrolling with our spider-kid?”

“I’m fine with it,” Bucky said, before narrowing his eyes. “But limit the kills in front of him. I’d like him to hit the age of eighteen without having seen as much death as an actual war.”

Tony had to cave if Bucky was, though he wasn’t sure if he liked it. Then again, he wasn’t sure if he liked Peter patrolling on his own either. “Great, so now who am I supposed to threaten? Ned?”

“Oh! Oh! Let me!” Wade said, bouncing up and down.

“No, you get to go away now,” Tony informed him, heading for the car. He ignored the fond grin Bucky was giving him and slide into the backseat. Wilson, having opted to stay inside and avoid ‘family drama’, eyed him as Bucky remained outside, the door shutting behind Tony.

“Please tell me you didn’t let Bucky wander off,” Wilson said, sounding tired. 

“No,” Tony said. He paused, watching Wilson basically watch him. “Hey, so, how are things with Steve?”

“You mean we’re going to do this? Where you pretend to care, so I feed you information?” Wilson asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not hiding it, am I?” Tony returned. 

“Fair enough,” Wilson said. “He’s fine, just distant. Honestly, the Avengers has me so busy here lately, I hardly ever see him. When I do, there’s not much to say.”

“Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen in the long run with Bucky and him,” Tony admitted, giving a small shrug, “but keep an eye on him, okay? I’m only hearing reports, but just because he and I have burnt that friendship bridge it doesn’t mean I don’t want someone looking out for him and doing what they can to actually help him.”

“That’s the most honest thing regarding Steve I’ve heard you say in a long time, man,” Wilson replied, giving a half-smile. “And consider it done.”

There were a couple of thumps outside, before the door opened and Bucky slid in. He barely looked out of breath, but his shirt have a few smudges of dirt on it and there was a red mark on the sleeve. Tony reached over and touched it, noting it was damp. “Have fun?”

“Yes,” Bucky replied, voice calm. “That man has made it very clear that he will not be making any sort of move on our kid.”

“Good,” Tony said, smiling. “I don’t actually have to threaten Ned, do I?”

Bucky laughed as the car started moving. “Tony, Ned’s a high school kid with a crush on his best friend. Let the kid go.”

With nothing else to pull his mind away, Tony is left with nothing more to think about then Steve Rogers and what happened with Bucky’s little sister while he was away at war. His mind tried to come up with a million scenarios, but each get more and more outlandish. They make it home and Bucky goes to his floor, taking his apparently required time out of the day to be in solitude and silence. Tony wondered if Bucky wouldn’t have managed to be a monk in another life, but can’t think farther on the thought as he enters his penthouse, wanting to keep all evidence of this research away from Bucky’s potential sight, and calls out, “Friday, get me all the information you can on Captain America tours and the dates Rogers would have been able to stop by Brooklyn. Cross-reference that with any news, historical notes, or even medical reports in Rebecca’s neighborhood.”

Tony spends the next three hours pretending to tidy up. In reality, he’s contemplating how crazy it would be to give Rebecca her own floor and hire her a full-service nurse. It’s an idea he knows she’d shoot down, because she has that stubborn quirk to her that Bucky does.

Finally, he laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, scooting over to smell Bucky’s pillow, because he is a total and complete sap. 

“Boss, analysis complete,” Friday announced. 

It doesn’t take long for Tony to dig deep into the files Friday has for him. There’s a lot of random items, most are things he can bypass quickly. Finally, though, he zones in on a small medical report about a girl being assaulted and being tested for bond deterioration. Bond deterioration hardly ever happened unless the alpha and omega were physically separated from each other for a long period of time. It was something that often happened during wartime and the bond was new. The only other reason was...

Tony frowned, digging deeper into the file, searching for more information. He scanned page after page, from a psychiatric report to an actual interview with the girl’s alpha. It was there that he grew cold, eyes only able to focus in on keywords here and there. The girl, of course, was Rebecca and while the man who had assaulted her was never named nor charged, it had been happening in a slow, but steady escalation to the point that her very bond with her intended mate had begun to deteriorate. 

Tony felt like he was going to be sick, looking at Rebecca’s future husband’s interview, noting the times of the seasons that she would begin to show distant, skittish behavior. All during the time Bucky was in Germany and all within the time period that Steve Rogers had his occasional breaks from his Captain America tours, when he had enough time to make an actual trip back home. 

Fighting the urge to vomit and, even stronger, to guzzle down the nearest liquor store, Tony quickly encrypted the files and sent copies to both Carol and Rhodey, knowing they would be able to actually look at the information with a clear head. Because all Tony could do was sit there and try to not rush off on an alpha-rage. Unable to do anything else and unable to control his fluctuating emotions, Tony stood and stormed down to his workshop to let his bots calm him and wait for Bucky, his Bucky, to join him.

His Bucky, who had survived torture and recovery. Tony accepted DUM-E’s smoothie, made with its intent to comfort, and vowed to himself that he would protect Bucky form this. He couldn’t let him know Steve Rogers had preyed on his little sister as a damn replacement, all because Bucky was out of his reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, surprise guest, blame my husband for the pairing idea. Will it develop, no. But I had to put something in here to counter the ending. I've been leading up to this Steve storyline and finally thought it was time and, ugh, had to give myself and you something to chuckle over first.


	15. Chapter 15

Bucky slid his hand out, reaching for warmth before he was even fully awake. Blinking, he looked around, finding Tony’s side of the bed empty and cold, with no indication the man had even slept in it that night. Bucky had left him in his workshop after trying to pry him away from a schematic the man was obsessing over. He knew better than to interrupt one of Tony’s brilliant, if tiring, creative sprees though. He’d managed to get a promise that Tony would come to bed by at least two in the morning, especially since Pepper was due to arrive by eight for a meeting.

By the looks of things, the man had not followed through on that promise.

The penthouse was empty and the kitchen showed no signs of activity. Bucky started up the coffee maker, preparing Tony one of his fancier flavors of beans, before heading straight for the elevator. It was about six now, so he had time to get Tony more presentable before Pepper showed up.

The workshop’s lights were dim when Bucky entered, indicating Tony had either fallen asleep or was still working with a headache. Frowning, he quickly made his way toward the brighter side of the space, walking around a couple of tool stands before he saw Tony. The sight made him pause, worry knotting in his stomach. The light brightly emitting around Tony was from the glow of a holograph, one vaguely familiar of the arm Tony had shown him not long after he had arrived. It was partially broken up in the image, but Bucky could make it out well enough to see Tony had been working on it for a while.

The man in question was hunched in on himself, staring at the image with a near desperate expression, eyes looking terribly tired and almost haunted. 

“Tony?” Bucky called out, slowly walking over.

Tony jerked, immediately waving his hand to remove the holograph. “Yeah, yeah. I’m coming to bed.”

“It’s a little late for that,” Bucky commented, glancing at the now empty space and shooting a thankful glance at one of the cameras as Friday raised the lights. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course, why do you ask?” Tony replied, reaching for the coffee, giving a cocky little head tilt. 

Bucky saw right through it, of course, and he had a feeling he was one of the few people in Tony’s life that could. He wanted to say something, break it all open right then before life took over again and he didn’t have the chance. It was Tony smiling up at him that stopped him, knowing that whatever it was needed time for Tony to gather his thoughts. Tony was a thinker and Bucky, while quick to act, often wished he trusted in the patience his mind offered. 

“Later, then,” Bucky said, leaning in and giving Tony a soft kiss. “Pepper will be here soon, you should freshen up. Unless you think you can manage a thirty-minute nap and actually wake up?”

“Hah, not happening,” Tony replied, downing half his drink in one go. “Hey, thanks, I got a little lost in my work.”

“Looked like my arm,” Bucky commented, watching as Tony shot him a guilty look. “I don’t mind you fiddling around with the thing, but you know I’m not ready for it. Besides, don’t you think I’m handling myself just fine as I am?”

“Babe, you are perfect as you are,” Tony said, softly. He was quiet a moment. “I just think of the people who get hurt because of...certain things. Like me. Pepper got hurt because of me. If I can give you a tool to defend yourself, then I want to do that.”

Bucky had so many clips in his head, like movies with random emotions thrown in, of his life. Years upon years, followed by blankness that almost represented sleep. It was all spaced out and vague. Tony Stark had dealt with torture, betrayal, death, and even committing murder in a small span of time. Bucky wondered how he had managed to handle it, because Bucky knew he was strong himself. Of course he was, but he had had decades. Tony had only years, a lot of that happening in just months.

Bucky reached out and cupped Tony’s head, ignoring his startled look as he threaded his fingers through Tony’s hair. He loved Tony’s hair. Sure Bucky had length on his side, but Tony’s hair always seemed to stand up in different directions like the strands were reaching for thoughts Tony didn’t realize he even had. “Calm down, I’m fine. But, I could do with a bazooka.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Tony warned, mouth curling up in what should have been an actual smile.

Bucky fought down the questions. “Want an actual breakfast?”

Somehow, and Bucky honestly didn’t know how he manage to keep Tony engaged and make scrambled eggs, but somehow Bucky got Tony fed and sent off to his room to be dressed. The timing was off, though. “Mister Barnes, Miss Potts in on her way up the elevator. You may have to distract her.”

“Of course,” Bucky sighed. “Miss Friday, is there anything you can tell me about...what’s going on? Tony looks so lost.”

“Boss received bad news last night,” she said and Bucky could almost claim that her tone was a fake side of calm, which he didn’t know if she was capable of. “I do believe it will be fine. Don’t worry, Mister Barnes, at any sign of Boss being in harm you will be notified.”

“That kind of makes me more worried, but thank you,” Bucky said softly.

“I wish I could disclose more, but I know Boss has his heart in the right place,” she replied. If an AI could end a sentence with a strange questioning tone, then that was what Friday had just done. 

The elevator opened before Bucky could reply, making him realize he was still in his pajamas. Cursing under his breath, he strode forward, remembering something his mother had told him about how an alpha was always the dominant one in the room because of attitude and not strut. Oddly, the strange phrase hit him now and despite his lack of dress he managed to greet Pepper with a smile and handshake as though she belonged there.

He was rewarded with an amused smile. “Tony’s not ready, huh?”

“Getting ready now,” he admitted.

“Well, that’s faster than I managed after even a year,” she said, sounding impressed.

Bucky ignored the blush he might be developing, because there was something intimidating about Pepper Potts that he couldn’t get used to. Nothing dangerous, just calculating. Strong. He paused for a moment, glanced back toward the bedroom door. “Miss Potts-”

“Please, Pepper,” she replied.

“Pepper, Tony was acting off this morning,” he admitted. “I don’t know if he just had a bad night or what, but you know him better than I do…”

“I wonder on that,” she said with a slight smile, “but don’t worry. We’re just going over R&D reports. It’s the one thing he gets excited about, so I know he’ll pay attention.”

“Good, thanks.”

“It’s good that you care like this,” she commented. “I have to admit I was hesitant and even asked Friday to keep an eye on you, but I do believe you are doing something good here. And I don’t mean just for yourself.”

Bucky had to look away from her before he could reply, “Thank you.”

“I think I should be saying that,” she said. And it was there that Bucky saw that she still loved him, she couldn’t help it, but she was moving past it. Oddly, Bucky got it. He got that seeing someone you loved but couldn’t be with was safe and cared for helped in moving on. He didn’t know where the knowledge came from, didn’t honestly care, but he was thankful in knowing he was part of it for her.

It was then Tony walked out, looking bleary-eyed, but at least well put together. He had a bright look on his face that Bucky was wary of as he hugged Pepper. He’d learned early on that Tony had a few masks at his disposal and a lot of them were just for the people around him on a daily basis. It was sad that the man had grown up in an environment where he had to hide his emotions so often, and learned to do so that effectively. 

“I’ll leave the two of you to what you do,” Bucky said, turning toward the elevator. He was stopped by Tony rushing over, eyes for one brief second looking a little frantic. Then Tony paused, one hand slowly lowering before it could touch Bucky’s shoulder. “What? Tony, I’m just going down to medical. I have that blood work I have to do that I keep putting off.”

“I’m sure Friday will keep an eye on your omega for you, Tony,” Pepper said in a dry tone that was clearly meant to tease the man, though Bucky could see through it to the clear worry on her face. She met his eyes over Tony’s shoulder and gave a small nod, letting him know she was going to keep an eye on Tony for him.

Tony, looking slightly dazed, mouthed the words ‘my omega’, before that mask slid back into place. He chuckled nervously. “Of course, sorry. Lack of sleep. Go have fun with needles. I’ll be with Pepper for a lot of the day, but do you want to have lunch?”

“Sure,” Bucky replied. Not bothered at all by Pepper’s presence anymore, Bucky stepped forward and gave Tony a quick kiss and smiled. “Behave yourself. Pepper doesn’t deserve your hi jinks.”

*

“Tony, this is getting ridiculous,” Pepper said, setting her tablet down and turning to fully stare at him, mouth drawn tight. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Tony replied, trying for innocent. He knew it wouldn’t work on Pepper, it never did, but what he had running through his head was something he couldn’t just tell her. He only had a file, basic details that he couldn’t bring into the light of day. Not with Pepper, at any rate. “Look, I’ve cleared half of these, put the rest on the back burner for next week.”

“Tony,” Pepper started.

“Pep, we’ve gone over the important stuff. As long as the medical and clean tech gets pushed first then I’m happy,” Tony replied. “I have a project I’m working on, and I really need to get back to it.”

She had a look on her face that he remembered from when they were dating, the one that said she needed a better answer out of him but knew better than to try and get it. It was the face that had been very common towards the end, which he did regret. But he wouldn’t regret what he had now, what he had to keep safe at all cost. Immediately, the arm entered his mind and the weapon upgrades he had been considering all night took over his thoughts. 

“Tony!” Pepper snapped, sounding like she had been trying to get his attention for a while. “Clearly there is something going on. I hope you’ll fill me in eventually, but in the meantime? Your phone is ringing. I’ll let myself out.”

They stared at one another a moment, before Pepper let out a soft sigh and grabbed her things. Briefly all Tony could hear was the clicking of her heels as she made her way to the elevator. It wasn’t until she was out of view that the buzzing of his phone caught his attention. He looked over, seeing Carol Danver’s face on the screen, before dread hit him. Swallowing, he hit the speaker button. “Yes?”

“You already sound horrible,” Carol’s voice filled the room. “We got your email, by the way. Rhodes is stuck at the Pentagon, but he wanted one of us to contact you as soon as we could.”

“And?” Tony asked, his hands clenching the cushion of his seat. 

“There’s no way to prove its Rogers,” Carol admitted. “Even Rhodes agrees that it would be normal for Rogers to visit his own neighborhood on his time off. We can’t pin this on him, especially if you’re thinking of bringing legal into the works.”

“I’m not really thinking far enough ahead,” Tony admitted, ignoring the fact that he had spent most of the night trying to figure out how to provide an energy source for a laser that wouldn’t destroy the integrity of the nerve sensors for Bucky’s new arm.

“Yeah, well, if you’re even remotely sane - which I’ve often doubted - then you’d be considering a permanent restraining order based on this alone,” Carol commented. “Sadly, it’s not enough to go on. Unless you want one of us to just ask Rogers if he did it.”

Tony frowned, looking up even though there wasn’t anything to look at. Focusing on something, even if it was the plant in the corner, let him actually think. “What if you did? I mean, would it actually hurt anything at this point to ask about his relationship with Rebecca?”

“Yes,” Carol replied immediately.

“Why? If we can get him to admit it, then I can get that order to keep him legally away from Bucky,” Tony said. It wouldn’t fix everything, but it would give Tony some kind of sense of control. Just enough to get his head on straight, so he could figure out how Bucky could be told everything. He knew it was wrong to keep this from Bucky, but he also knew handing a bomb to someone with easy switches like Bucky had was just asking for someone to get hurt. Or die.

And while Tony would happily blast Steve Rogers through a wall with what he knew now, he would never allow Bucky to live with that burden.

“Think about it, Tony,” Carol said, her voice going softer than he had ever heard it. “There is only one person that Rogers would ever be that open with. He’s had it in his head since before they put that serum in him that Bucky was his alone. In his head, Bucky is the only person he can love or trust.”

“You make him sound like a serial killer,” Tony mumbled, trying to ignore how right Carol was.

“No, Rogers isn’t a sociopath or a psychopath. He’s a man, who had an obsession,” Carol said, making it simple and sadly, as she kept talking, Tony realized how simple it was. “He was a man in love with his best friend, obsessed and overthinking about him when that friend went to war without him. Just as they injected him with a serum that did what? Make him more of what he already was. He has an obsessive, dominant personality. He showed he had it as an omega. What omega do you know goes to such length to join the army because of their desire to help? The army, instead of nursing training, compared to all the other driven omegas in war at that time?”

“Shit, he was screwed from the start,” Tony replied. And for a moment he actually felt bad for Rogers, to love someone that much and hope to always be there even in such terrifying situations. Except the damage that was done was there and while Rogers was amplified, but stuck in his ways, it didn’t excuse what he did and what he may do in the future. “We still have to do something.”

“I agree,” she said. “Do you plan on telling Bucky?”

“Is it really my place?” Tony asked. “Rogers hasn’t contacted him in a good while. This is Rebecca’s story. It’s like I’m interfering somehow.”

“What are the odds, do you think, that she’ll tell Bucky herself?” Carol asked.

“Not any time soon, unless the topic of Steve Rogers becomes frequent, or she thinks he’s going to be in contact with Rogers,” Tony replied. “It made her stressed, so I don’t think Bucky is going to be bringing him up anytime soon.”

“Someone other than us needs to be prepared for the fallout,” Carol commented.

“I’ll let his doctor’s know, since this can be considered a safety issue,” Tony said. “I don’t think he’d want it going past anyone else. I wish I could tell him, but...it happened so long ago, what right do I have to tell a brother about his little omega sister being stalked and raped, when there is no sane way for him to take care of it without hurting her more? I can’t do that.”

Carol was silent for a long moment, which hinted more at the many things she had seen done to people than anything. There had always been a hardness to her sass, a level she couldn’t keep out, a tarnish made from the war that she had lived that they never got near. Finally, she sighed, “You’re right, there’s too many people who can get hurt. Even Wanda is still feeling it, and she has no idea what she encouraged.”

Tony could only imagine how badly Wanda’s magic had sped up whatever timeframe Rogers had built in his head of how he was going to woo Bucky. And for once he didn’t feel an ounce of hatred for the girl and her magical abilities, if anything it was merely pity. 

“Did Rhodey have any thoughts?” Tony asked.

“Honestly, it took a lot of strength to keep him sitting long enough to calm down,” Carol replied. “He’s pretty strong without that suit.”

“Well, he’s a platypus,” Tony said automatically. 

“Basically, Rhodes is keeping Rogers on permanent lock down. All cameras on him, and we’re getting your guys to install more on Rogers’ morning run path.” There was a moment of silence. “Without bringing in the few mind readers we got lying around, there’s not much we can do without breaking some kind of legal rule. Rogers has been behaving himself. He’s acting weird, like we discussed, but not badly.”

“Well, you guys are the bigwigs,” Tony replied. “Try to keep that lockdown for as long as possible, okay? Just until we know what we are dealing with here.”

“Done and done,” Carol said. “You take care of yourself, Tony.”

“I’m fine,” he told her.

“Yeah, sure,” she replied with a snort. “From one flashy alpha to another? Don’t wear yourself down. This is about your omega. If it’s something that could break them down, who’s going to be there to cushion us when we fall? We are nothing without them having our backs. I’m not even bonded, and I know that much. And in this case, you letting yourself get stupid is going to do more damage to him than anything.”

“We’re not bonded,” Tony tried to protest.

“Bullshit,” Carol snapped. “You guys are as good as done, face it. And he needs you to be the strong one here, even if he seems solid. I know it can suck when your omega gets to you already damaged, but your job is still the same. Protecting him and your home is the only order you need to follow here, but you have to protect yourself, too. What good is a scarecrow, huh?”

Tony stopped himself from snapping back, startled by the last part of her rant. “What, scarecrow?”

Carol growled in frustration. “Look, it’s like those weird contests of guys with shiny muscles, whatever those are called, versus the strongman ones. Which kind of alpha would you rather be? The shiny, pretty for everyone else kind or the badass that can follow through on their promise and damn near lift a building? Bucky has a long road of recovery to him past even Rogers, even if he seems to be dealing well now, and you have to be that strongman.”

“That is...a weird and perfect analogy,” Tony commented.

“We’ll keep Rogers contained to the best we’re able. We have UN suits coming in here for inspections soon, and they love it when he shows off, so hopefully that will make it even easier,” Carol said with a scoff. 

“You really hate people calling him Captain, huh?” Tony asked, trying to bring some humor back into the conversation.

“It was an honorary title,” Carol grumbled, “and not made for actual combat. In the real military, no one would take him seriously. He didn’t even get real basic training.”

Tony laughed, even though it sounded half-dead. “I’ll talk to you later. Thank you, Captain.”

“Take care of yourself, for him. Eat a damn vegetable,” Carol said, her tone annoyed right before the dial tone filled the air for a second before the speaker shut off. Carol had the strange experience of being of earth but not. She saw things that people often didn’t. It was why she had been made leader of the new Avengers.

Tony knew, based on that alone, listening to her advice was a good thing. A plan in his head, Tony pulled over his tablet and sent a meeting invite to both Drs Wright and Grodin, scheduled when Bucky would be doing his Peter bonding time later that day. He had to fill them in, this was obvious, but he knew nothing past that would be happening anytime soon. You couldn’t bring someone to trial for a crime that happened in the forties, especially when the victim managed to rebuild her bond and live to today with a horde of children smiling from photographs.

With nothing else to do, and knowing Bucky was still fighting having the new arm, Tony went down to his workshop to work on his suits. He’d be ready for whatever Rogers threw at him, even if he wasn’t the one doing the defending. The Iron Legion could always use some upgrading.

*

“Are the weapons a preparing thing?” Bucky asked after he had stood in the workshop for about ten minutes, watching Tony fiddling with the foot on one of the Iron Legion suits.

“Huh?” Tony asked, a screwdriver held in his mouth.

“This morning was my arm, get that guilty look off your face because we already talked about it, and now this? Is something coming? Should the world be worried?” he asked. His tone was teasing, but with the Avengers there was no such thing as a joke involving impending invasion. 

“Oh, no,” Tony said, chuckling as he practically crawled out from underneath the suit, setting the screwdriver to the side. He still looked as worked down as before, but Bucky could tell something had happened to lift his spirits. If even a little bit. “This is basic maintenance. So, what’s up?”

“We were going to have lunch?” Bucky replied. “Unless you wanted to wait until after the BARF session? I don’t know the odds of me vomiting during an anger session, but either way it’s not going to be pleasant.”

“We scheduled that for today,” Tony said slowly, before breathing in deep. He looked like he was arguing with himself for a moment, before he nodded. “Okay, okay. Umm, do you think you’re okay for that?”

Bucky almost wanted to say he wasn’t, but that was more because of how Tony was acting. He knew he could handle whatever happened, but Tony had been off since last night. It gave him a strange sense of unease, not worried about himself but just hesitant. “I’m good, but you didn’t get much sleep last night. And you’re the one running the show with the BARF system. We don’t want anything to go wrong if you’re too tired.”

Bucky was giving Tony an out, because the man looked way too driven and almost...there was a word Peter once used, spazzy.

“No, actually, we should get it out of the way,” Tony said. “I’m sorry, it’s just I don’t want you to have to live through whatever it is again, like we did with the others. But, you are right in that the parole board is waiting. We actually do have a schedule that we have been slow to follow.”

“Are you convincing yourself or just me?” Bucky asked, half joking.

“That’s funny and accurate,” Tony muttered. He stepped forward until he was in Bucky’s space. “A part of me never wants to see it, because I... I just don’t think I can handle what hurts you that much. The other part of me doesn’t want you to be hurt by it, but I know no matter what we do we have to go through it. Honestly, if Bruce was still here he’d be doing all this, and I’d be able to distance myself.”

Bucky had slowly heard about Bruce Banner, from Tony soft comments that hinted at a wish for a friend and Peter’s academic view of him as a hero. So he didn’t comment on that and put that thought away in case the man ever returned. That sort of distant anger could always wait for another day.

“I’m the patient, Tony,” Bucky pointed out. “We usually go with what the doctor says, and in this case that’s you. If you’re not ready-”

“No!” Tony quickly said. “I’m fine, really. Let’s go do this.”

“Tony-” Bucky started, not sure what he was going to say, but he knew he had to try to alleviate Tony from some of his near frantic need to appease Bucky. He didn’t need Tony catering to him, not if he wasn’t feeling well himself. “Tony, it’s okay to take a day off, you know.”

Tony looked back at his Iron Legion, then at Bucky with thoughtful eyes. “I could use a day off. I could use a day with you, in the sun.”

Bucky smiled, “I wish we could go for a walk or to Central Park myself, but we could go up to the garden roof for a while? Clear your head and get some fresh air?”

He didn’t get any struggle as he reached out and grabbed Tony’s hand, ignoring the oil stains on the fingers. He tugged Tony closer and began guiding him to the elevator, staying silent as he let Friday guide them upward to the roof. They found a spot that was partial sun, the heat of the afternoon still not too strong and the breeze gentle. 

“It looks better up here than when I was paying that gardener,” Tony admitted, leaning back on the bench and setting his hand on Bucky’s thigh.

“Thanks,” Bucky replied, raising his arm to wrap around Tony’s shoulder. “It's going to get colder soon, most of it won’t survive.”

“Doesn’t matter, you’ll just make it pretty again the next season,” Tony said in a soft, tired voice. The man had tilted his head, resting it on Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re too good, Bucky.”

“Nah, I’m just right,” Bucky teased, earning a small chuckle.

“I love you,” Tony said, turning his face into Bucky’s chest and breathing in. 

Bucky almost stiffened at the words, feeling a strange moment of panic. Not against Tony, but against some blockade in his head that didn’t want him to respond. He ignored it, forced the sensation away, and buried his nose in Tony’s hair.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Tony said, sounding like he was about to fall asleep. “I wish you were my omega.”

Bucky breathed deep and closed his eyes. “I am your omega, Tony.”

Tony hummed, sounding content. Tony’s silence helped clear Bucky’s head. It made him realize that this situation, sitting happy and comfortable with a man that adored him, wasn’t something to be scared of. He felt Tony shift against him, the hand on his thigh squeeze, and he knew he had to speak before Tony actually fell asleep.

“Love you, too,” Bucky whispered. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you before Peter gets here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about damn time, you stupid boys. God, stressing me out.
> 
> Thought I'd give some sappy angst laced calm before the roller coaster that will be the next chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

“Is the translator installed, Fri?” Tony asked, looking around the empty room sadly.

“Yes, Boss, we will be able to filter and immediately translate any language spoken in Mister Bucky’s memory, with heavy emphasis on all Eastern European and Russian dialects,” Friday replied.

He didn’t reply, just dropped down onto the chair to wait for Bucky’s arrival, dreading every second of it. He had managed to put off their session for a full four days, but there was no possibility of putting it off any further. Not when the parole board had called him that very morning demanding answers. 

It didn’t help that Bucky had started getting impatient himself. And while Tony would give anything to keep Bucky from experiencing a repetition of past harm, he couldn’t bring himself to say no to the man. So, after Dr Grodin reminding him that Bucky had the right to take charge of his own healing, Tony had caved. Dr Grodin wasn’t exactly happy with Tony Stark. She felt Tony’s blatant secret keeping was going to end up harming Bucky more in the end and had only agreed on not telling the man herself when she saw the stress tests Dr Wright had last done at Bucky’s routine physical. 

The fact that Bucky’s body was stressed enough to set off readings on Dr Wright’s technology gave Dr Grodin pause, but she did insist that she was going to integrate advanced coping skills into Bucky’s therapy. It was clear it would help with what was about to happen today, regardless of Bucky’s response to his memory.

In the end, it felt like politics were taking over.

Tony paused, rubbing his temples and pondering over just how easily everyone deferred to Tony as Bucky’s alpha. While a bond had started to grow, they hadn’t actually bonded. It was a matter of time, Tony knew that, but a part of him wondered if it would continue to be such a slow process. He closed his eyes, feeling guilty that he wished they could bond like others did in a rush of pheromones. Images filled his head, the glimpse of skin and muscles he had seen.

“You okay?” Bucky’s voice was low and worried, breaking Tony from his thoughts.

“Yeah!” Tony replied, blinking up at the man, watching as he walked over to the chair and sat, shifting around to get comfortable. “You up for this?”

“I will be if you stop asking,” Bucky said with a half-smile.

“Well forgive me for trying to be attentive,” Tony mumbled, picking up the sensor supplies and walking over. He tried to ignore the fond look Bucky was giving him but it was damn near impossible, so he leaned in and kissed his temple before placing a sensor there. “I admit it, I’m a sap for you.”

“I was a bit terrified when I came here. I couldn’t really understand the whole omega emotions and the Avengers weren’t helping,” Bucky whispered. “I was expecting a prime case of an alpha like you to either ignore me or run right through me. I’m glad I was mistaken.”

“I was expecting Steve Rogers’ carbon copy,” Tony admitted. “It was easy to see that you weren’t pretty quickly. Even Rogers couldn’t look at the New York skyline with the expression you did that day, like you were drinking in every thing like...I don’t know, changed how I approached you, I guess.”

“I’m sure whatever files you got your hands on about me did or did not help,” Bucky commented.

Tony paused, feeling his heart race for just a moment. “Files?”

“From Hydra?” Bucky replied. “Steve told me you guys recovered them. Hell, whatever we see today you might have already seen.”

Tony looked away, clenching his eyes briefly, letting out a slow breath. It was all he could do, and he could feel Bucky’s eyes on him, knowing. Bucky was smart, too smart, and Tony had a feeling he had suspected for a while that Tony knew more than he was saying when it came to Hydra and what Bucky had gone through. “I saw a few of their cinematic adventures. I’m sorry. Nothing makes torture more real than seeing it happen like that. I wasn’t ever going to, to be honest, but when you agreed to come I…”

“You were preparing yourself for the worst,” Bucky said.

“Yeah,” Tony breathed out, finally looking back up. “And I’m so afraid that I’m going to see worse today.”

He felt Bucky’s hand slide behind his neck before he was pulled forward into a deep kiss. He moaned as Bucky’s tongue traced along the side of his own, trying to chase after it as Bucky pulled back. Bucky chuckled, pressing their forehead’s together. “You’re the man with the magic button, remember? You get to stop it when it gets too bad. No one expects us to get this perfect every time, Tony. You can open the emergency exit.”

Tony chuckled at all the metaphors thrown in, probably just for that purpose. “Right, let’s do this.”

He made sure to give Bucky another kiss, cause the little thrill in his body that ordered him to since they said the golden words gave him full permission, before walking back over to the laptop. He was tense the moment he brought the program up and began talking Bucky through the concentration procedure. A part of him tensed up, wanted to shut it down just from Bucky twitching alone. But he knew he was being hyper-vigilant. He was an alpha with a bond-intent. If another alpha had walked into the room right then, Tony was probably sure he would have reacted badly.

Bucky did his usual thing, his face in full of twitchy concentration. Tony couldn’t even pull up the appreciation and anticipation for the vibrancy of Bucky’s thoughts, not with the way his stomach twisted into knots as colors suddenly exploded around him.

They are duller than usual, gritty and almost gunky if Tony could apply that to a color. The room is dark and Bucky is standing there at attention, eyes down and shirtless. There is a man, clearly a handler, there and Tony knows without being able to see there that there are others watching, the subtle shift of guns in hands. Even with Bucky Barnes looking like a doll, they are afraid.

The man comes up behind Bucky, an almost soft look on his face. Tony’s seen it before, in footage of omega-slave domains, where alphas seem to care and be attentive. Bucky doesn’t even react as the man pressed against him, chest to back with one hand sliding around his side to rest on is stomach. Tony has to close his eyes for just a second, because he’s already wanting to rush forward toward an image to protect.

Tony’s eyes zoned in on Bucky’s stomach muscles trembling, before the man finally spoke. “We have a big project for you.”

There was a chuckle off to the side and Tony could see Bucky, his Bucky, jerk in reaction.

“We’ve got some big boys coming in. Granted they aren’t getting the pure serum you got, definitely not what that bastard American got, but they got it.” The man hummed, taking a second to breathe in deep, smelling Bucky’s neck. “We’ve formed you so well for us, we didn’t expect this. We didn’t expect to need them to need to be trained like this. Forgive us, my dear, for overestimating Russian dominance.”

Bucky’s head tilted, baring a bit of his neck. It seemed to please the man behind him, who kissed his neck lightly. “We have always recognized your strength, yes?”

“Yes, alpha,” Bucky replied, his voice so rough that Tony was certain the man hadn’t spoken a single word single they last dragged him out of cryo.

“Good, my beautiful one,” the man whispered. There was silence, as he let his hand travel further upwards, causing Bucky’s eyes to clench closed. “We need them to know their strength and pain. You are the only one who can give them that. They need to be rejoiced in their newfound power, before falling to you, our favorite and our hand.”

Bucky’s eyebrows drew together, his head tilting further in an obvious sign of submission so that he could simply ask, “I do no understand?”

“They will rejoice in their newfound alpha status and take you in their power,” the man replied, his tone more intense and sexual than anything. Tony found himself standing up, feeling something in him urging him to move, but he had nothing to actually do or rush toward. Bucky had no sign of actual distress. 

The Bucky of memory whined slightly, but made no other sign of disagreement, like he had already expected the treatment.

“Then,” there was not just the man doing so, but a few others laughed as well, “you will prove why you have been our Winter Soldier and have satisfied us so. You will gather the rage you feel of their touch and beat them to our submission, omega. We will own them, through you.”

The surrounding image around them flickered and continued to do so, like Bucky couldn’t actually remember the real details. At first, it was just strange flashes of the other soldiers Tony vaguely remembered seeing shot and dead back in Siberia. It’s like Bucky’s mind decided to remember them most by little glimpses with no real definition. Throughout it all, Tony could hear a slow building sound echoing off the walls, like heavy breathing with the occasional whine.

A shudder ran through Tony, realizing it was Bucky he was hearing even though there was no actual visual in front of him.

Then, as though that thought had called it forward, the images finally settled to show a partially naked Bucky writhing on the ground. There was no comfort for the omega, who was clearly in heat, no pillows or blankets and no sign of food or water. He wasn’t alone. For a moment, Tony didn’t quite understand what was going, knowing the recently awakened super soldiers standing along the walls should have been rushing the omega if Bucky’s physical behavior was an accurate indication of how far gone his heat was.

They should have and they were trying. They were retained, each of them shackled to the wall and left to see and scent Bucky with their newfound heightened senses. It had to be driving them mad. Not just that, but as they fought against the binding, metal creaking and close to breaking, they were also growling at each other. Tony felt as though a heavy rock was dropping swiftly in his stomach as the clear sign of aggression and competition of the scene made itself known. 

What better way to control a group of alphas injected with bastardized super-serum than to manipulate them with an omega’s heat? An omega capable of rewarding them with a heat or punishing them with the strength of the serum and memory of being an alpha.

Tony fought the sudden nausea and forced himself to watch as the screech of metal breaking, snapping filled the room. More similar sounds followed and suddenly three of the solider’s were free. Instead of heading straight for Bucky they slammed into each other with a ferocity that seemed to effect even Bucky, because the scene seemed to throb and twist from the very intense emotion hidden in the pure violence until it fast forwarded. 

It took Tony a moment to realize the dark liquid he was seeing was blood, and it was everywhere. Tony’s eyes slowly adjusted to the scene in front of him, the writhing shifting of limbs, the sounds of sex all around him, and Bucky...he couldn’t really see his omega in the image the BARF system was projecting. The alpha soldiers surrounded him, half unable to actually touch the omega and left to satisfy themselves. But even those unable to touch could probably smell Bucky, and they could definitely hear him.

The alphas had blood on them, mostly likely their own from fighting over who got Bucky first. But the sounds, the sounds were all Bucky. Tony felt his skin grow hot, like it was tightening. He couldn’t move as what sounded like a dying animal’s wail echoed through the room. 

A boiling sensation, like rage made physical, rolled just under Tony’s skin. He had nothing to attack though and the horrific images before him were gone before he even knew how to react. All he had was the steady tension in his limbs, the steady heat under his skin. 

Then in a near blinding flash, the room went near white as the space shifted to the soldiers again with Bucky. Only this time the handlers were there, standing in the sidelines smugly as Bucky beat one of the alpha’s down to the ground like the man was made of nothing. Bucky stood, a look of satisfied anger on his face as he turned to the next of the soldiers, a look that only held a promise of pain on his face. 

“As you can see,” it was the man from before, a sharp grin on his face as he stepped up behind Bucky in a near copy of his actions days ago, “you all have a lot of to learn and our original Winter Soldier will happily teach you what you need to know.”

“An omega,” the female one spat, her vile tone indicating that perhaps she had not been an alpha before her transformation and felt more the urge to prove her place than anything. 

“An omega who chooses which of you are actually worth our time,” the man snapped, before chuckling. “Come now, did he not reward you before? Do well and he may reward you again.”

There was a flash of something in Bucky’s eyes, an emotion that wasn’t as compliant as he had shown before.

“Nothing but a toy,” another soldier commented.

“A toy that holds your leash,” the man replied, smirking. He leaned in and kissed the side of Bucky’s neck. “Go on, then.”

Bucky’s face went positively feral, before he rushed in, slamming the last soldier who had spoken into the nearby pillar, immediately pummeling him to the ground. What proceeded would have turned into a bloodbath if any of them had any actual weapons. Each time one of the soldiers managed to get Bucky down, a new wave of energy hit the omega. Bucky, almost like he had been ordered to mindless mutilate, seemed to have no trouble taking away his pound of flesh with just his nails alone. 

The sight of it, with the sound of Bucky wailing in pain from before, was messing with Tony’s head. His skin no longer felt like his own, his temperature kept shooting up, and he could smell everything. The fact he couldn’t smell the feral Bucky in front of him was driving him insane and the soft scent of the real Bucky, his Bucky, was helping him at all.

Because the entire time Bucky had been watching the scene as well. The scent in the air wasn’t exactly of panic, not even fear, but there was just enough of a level of distress that Tony’s brain couldn’t quite grasp what it was he was supposed to do. 

Then the BARF machine shut off and his Bucky let out a desperate, stressed sound, small and probably minor but enough for Tony just react.

Tony’s vision zeroed in and suddenly there was no actual thought left in his head. Merely a process, and drive to act that he hadn’t felt since Afghanistan, when a near death-experience induced rut had got him out alive. All thought shut down, and he was rushing forward, to the scent and sound and his omega his his his his

Soft skin. So soft. Strong heartbeat under his tongue. Hand, first pushing, then holding his shoulder. Gasping, there was a gasp. 

Bucky’s body didn’t fight him as he manhandled the omega to the floor, pinning him, breathing him in. Scenting him, making sure he memorized every little shift and change. Nervous. Scared? No, shy. The omega felt...shy?

The second skin - words words: clothes - the clothes on the omega were wrong. Tony got rid of them, left the omega bare. Bucky let him, smelled...unsure. Hesitant? A little scared.

No. Tony tried to growl less, tried to comfort. Licking a path down, tasting. The gasps were back, the fear going away. Sweat and spice in the air. The omega smelled just a little happy, laced in the nerves.

Felt the hand on him again, trying to push his head again. Not afraid, again uncertain, embarrassed? Tony ignored it, pressing his nose against flesh and hair. The smell so intense there, the taste stronger. The fingers in his hair spasmed, tightened as Tony’s growled happily, hands keeping the omega still as he indulged. He needed to taste him, taste taste taste 

The sound Bucky made, high and shocked and perfect. Body shuddering, hips trying to go upward. Tony scented contentment, surprise. Tasted sweat and salt and sweet and spice. Lapped at it, enjoyed hearing the heavy breathing above him.

His his his his

*

Sucking in air, Bucky tried to fight through the fog attempting to envelop him so that he could fully understand what just happened. 

He had watched the BARF session almost distantly, his mind barely processing what he was watching after he had let the memory surface. That in itself felt like forever ago, because suddenly Tony had been rushing across the room, dragging him out of that uncomfortable chair and…

Bucky swallowed, feeling Tony’s thick hair between his fingers. Tony had pinned him, scented him, dominated him, and... Bucky felt a shiver run through him as a wet tongue lapped at the crease where his hip met thigh. It was enough to remind him that he was actually naked while Tony was fully clothed, pinning him to the floor from the waist down. 

Tony was no longer capable of actual speech, Bucky could tell that the moment the man had ripped Bucky’s shirt off. Looking down, Bucky wondered what he should be feeling right then and if feeling sheltered and protected in Tony’s firm grasp was even appropriate.

And should he feel embarrassed, having just had his first blow-job in...well, Bucky didn’t actually remember ever getting one if he was honest with himself. Tony had simply manhandled him down and went straight for it, like he couldn’t help himself. And now, Tony seemed completely content to lick him clean, rumbling low in his throat as though trying to keep Bucky calm.

“Mister Barnes,” Friday’s voice spoke up, sounding a little frustrated. Bucky had a feeling she had been trying to catch his attention for a while. 

Bucky jerked in response, her voice seeming to be overly loud. He felt a light nip at his thigh, a warning to stay still, before he cleared his throat. He made sure to whisper as he asked, “Yes, Miss Friday?”

“From Boss’ readings and actions, it is clear he has entered his rut,” she said in a calm voice. “His interaction with you has calmed him, but I’m afraid we need to get him either to his rut-room or your omega room as soon as we can, especially before anyone other than Peter decides to enter the floor.”

“My omega room?” Bucky asked, talking on autopilot. Tony was in rut. It explained his wordless actions and obsession with scent. Though it didn’t really explain the blow-job, as most alphas in rut wouldn’t take the time to indulge their omega partner like that. “Why-?”

“My scans show you are experiencing an elevated temperature and your pheromones are shifting as we speak to better suit an omega in heat,” was Friday’s reply. 

“What?” Bucky sucked in a sharp breath, only then noticing how much more sensitive his skin felt. “No, no, last time they had to put me in a medical coma.”

“While I can’t say for certain, I can say you are showing none of the symptoms you showed before that indicated a rut,” Friday replied. “It appears you are only entering a heat, but I can’t rule out the possibility of that changing.”

Unsure of how to respond, Bucky looked down to find Tony staring up at him, chin resting on Bucky’s bare hip and eyes fond. The rumbling seemed to intensify, Tony’s fingers digging into his hips in a small massage. Bucky could feel himself responding to the gentle, but intense treatment. He was already getting hard again and his body was beginning to feel overheated everywhere but where Tony was touching him.

“Tony?” Bucky said, causing the man to narrow his eyes at him. Bucky wasn’t prepared to what the sight of Tony Stark suddenly slinking his way up his body would do to him, but the sudden feeling of arousal, sharp and like a live wire, shooting through him wasn’t what he was expecting. Tony proceeded to nudge Bucky’s head back, baring his neck to Tony’s tongue. “Shit, Tony.”

He tried to think of how to get Tony to his omega room, since he didn’t know where the rut-room was and felt awkward enough having Friday already talk to him while he and Tony were in such an intimate position. It felt too much like having a little sister spy on him. A gasp escaped him as Tony bit down, lightly, on his neck. He could feel how hard Tony was against the denim of the jeans he was wearing. And Bucky wanted to chuckle at the cliché that the omega was the only one undressed in the room.

He could feel his senses getting more intense and knew they were running out of time. They had to get to the room before Bucky lost what little control he had, which was rapidly rushing away as Tony continued to touch him. Knowing it was the only way, and hoping it wouldn’t cause Tony to panic in his state, Bucky placed his hand on the back of Tony’s neck to get his attention. Staring into whiskey-brown eyes, he said, “Alpha, it isn’t safe here. We need to be where it’s safe for this.”

*

Tony’s subvocal communication had become even more intense once they made it to the omega room, which only seemed to increase the speed of Bucky’s body to adapt. He could feel the fever now, the almost unnatural tremble in his limbs and ache in places that he wasn’t sure he should be aching. 

He had, once the door shut and the lock clicked into place, given into instinct. Tony had knelt in the corner, poised like he expected to have to fight for his right to be there, as Bucky began pulling out his blankets and pillows. He should have felt strange, should have been blushing over careful blanket arrangements and not the way Tony practically purred his approval instead. It was a heady feeling as Tony crawled over into the nest, sidling up against Bucky, the fabric of his clothes rubbing harshly against Bucky’s skin. Harsh enough for Bucky to whine and grab at Tony’s shirt, giving a tug.

He found himself pushed down into the softness of the nest, before Tony was impatiently trying to rip his own clothes off. Bucky reached up to help, only to get a low growl in return. The sound shot through Bucky, and he felt more than comprehended his back arching and the sudden feeling of wetness at his backside. He didn’t really have to understand it or overthink anything, because Tony was then pressed against him. All along his front was flesh and heat as Tony immediately went for the neck, biting down hard in just a way that Bucky went happily limp underneath him.

Bucky never really got to remember his previous heats and the one before, where he had gone into rut as well, had been an impossibility. He wondered if he was going to remember this one, because the fog was back and all he could feel was sensations.

Tony never stopped touching him, licking at him, growling and rumbling. Bucky could hear and feel himself respond, the high-pitched whines as hands grasped at him and as he found himself pressing his forehead against a pillow, hips in the air without any encouragement. He could barely comprehend the details, only Tony’s hands holding him still, tongue licking at the slick, the vibration from Tony’s chest pressing to his back.

He only knew for certain some things. Tony kept at least one arm around him at all times, like he couldn’t bare to let him go for even a second. The slow drag of Tony’s palm up his back to gently grab his neck, right before he felt Tony penetrate him was probably the more intense feeling he had ever experienced in his life. His throat went raw and incapable of sound at one point, making it near impossible to cry out, even though he needed Tony to know how good he felt. Tony was never too rough or too fast, but he was steady and determined as he found every spot he could to make Bucky yell out. He remembered eating and drinking despite the idea being almost painful, but it was by Tony’s encouragement, and he was praised and worshiped every time.

Bucky, at the end, only had flashes of the entire experience, but they were small memories that he could say for certain were real and all his. His body was sore when he finally opened his eyes to the sight of a pillow and Tony’s outstretched arm. Humming, trying to stretch, Bucky took stock of what the situation was and stilled almost immediately.

There was a rumble behind him, an arm around his waist tightening its hold. 

He wasn’t afraid, not at all, but from the sudden cool sweat on his body and clearing of his head it was obvious his heat was over and done with, which made the alpha who was knotted to him a bit of an awkward experience. He had no idea how long they had been like that and knew that it could be quite a while before Tony’s knot went down. He immediately ignored the fact that Tony knotting him meant he was always currently filling him to the brim with... Bucky chose to immediately ignore that, not because he was disgusted, but because the idea was just as overwhelming as all of this was.

“Tony?” Bucky whispered a little loud, trying to gauge just how aware Tony was. The man hummed and buried his nose at the base of Bucky’s very sore neck, which made him wonder how many times Tony had bit him. Tony’s actions weren’t that different from if he was asleep, though, so Bucky made sure to stay till and relaxed. After a moment, he called out in another whisper, “Miss Friday?”

“Yes, Mister Barnes?” Friday replied, her vocals as low as his. The only response was Tony’s arm gripping him tighter, followed by a tiny thrust of hips that Bucky tried his best to not moan from. “It is good to see you aware and safe.”

“How long?” Bucky asked, getting straight to the point.

“Four days,” Friday replied. “Boss is through what they call ‘the woods’ as well. Peter has been waiting, refusing to the leave the Tower until you both emerged.”

If this had been any other day, Bucky would have made a joke about stamina, but with Tony shifting behind him causing him to shift inside him, all Bucky can do is groan. Tony’s clearly a morning sex type of guy, or just the type who likes it slow and lazy, because it’s suddenly like Tony’s surrounding him, both arms drawing him in closer. Tony’s hips start rolling and Bucky can’t help but letting out a gasp, his one arm reaching back to grab Tony’s bare hip.

Bucky is still overly wet, half slick and Tony’s come easing the way for Tony’s slow, gentle thrusts. It makes an obscene sound that Bucky tries to not zero in on, instead focusing on Tony’s face suddenly pressed against the back of his ear, hot breath hitting his sensitive skin. “God, babe, you feel so good.”

He doesn’t even bother to tell himself that he didn’t let out a whine of submission at that, giving Tony’s a reason to pickup speed. His knot is clearly going down, but Tony seems determined to ride it out and all of him is still pressing against his prostate, so Bucky simply doesn’t care. He’s hard and wanting it fast, hips arching back to give Tony better access. 

This all happened so fast and probably against both of their ideal timelines, but Bucky doesn’t mind digging his nails into Tony’s hip as the man thrusts into him, whispering soft and complimenting words into his ear. Tony’s knot is shrinking down, meaning the man’s orgasm is actually finished. It’s realizing Tony is doing this for Bucky’s own pleasure that brings him over, letting out one last whine, teeth gritted as his orgasms. 

It’s a testament to the last four days that he doesn’t actually feel himself ejaculate, just a bone deep rush of pleasure that nearly knocks him out. Blinking and panting, Bucky lays there, trying to reconnect. He can feel Tony’s hand against his chest, thumb gently rubbing little circles into his skin.

“I love you.” He hears the words whispered against the nape of his neck and can almost picture Tony hiding in Bucky’s hair. The thought rushes through him, leaving him smiling and feeling warm all over. 

He can feel Tony going soft, leaving him, but it doesn’t really feel like the physical loss it could, despite the emptiness he feels. Not with the hold Tony had on him, the feel of his breathing against him. “Thank you.”

“Hmm, for what?” Tony asked, clearly waking up a bit.

“For this, for making my first real heat so...perfect,” Bucky replied. He can feel Tony stiffen, like the situation they are in finally made itself known to him, but Bucky grabs his hand quickly and shifts backwards, cuddling close. “I love you too, Tony.”

“I-” Tony started. Bucky can almost hear all the apologies Tony wants to give him, but as Tony relaxes into the nest once again he can feel Tony accept what they had done. “I didn’t, I should have asked first, I...shit, Bucky…”

“Don’t turn this into something I can regret,” Bucky ordered. He titled his head back, managing to kiss Tony on the temple despite the awkward angle. “I’m happy with you, idiot.”

Tony placed a kiss on his shoulder and sighed. “Then, I guess I get permission to pamper you with a big breakfast?”

“Yes, please,” Bucky replied, not bothering to hide the grin forming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so that happened. I planned it more brutal in my head, but I might be in gore withdrawal from my December of Horror spree, so probably a good thing. Especially since I'm happy with how it ended. Anyway, more to come obviously. I have a bit left to say in this story to go, lol.


	17. Chapter 17

Tony kept glancing across the room, not even bothering to hide the fond smile appearing on his face as he watched Bucky try to both read and play ball with DUM-E at the same time. He couldn’t help it. It was only a day after they had emerged from the omega room and Bucky still had the soft look to him, the high level of omega hormones in his system adding an almost gentle quality to the man. 

Or Tony was imagining that part, and merely needed an excuse to watch and dote on who had become the most important person in his life.

“You smell different,” Peter commented, finally speaking after being silent since they had returned to the workshop. 

“Hmm?” Tony hummed out, trying to focus on the images the computer had lit up in front of him. 

“You both…” Peter cleared his throat, looking awkward. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Tony, knowing he sounded ridiculously sappy, before he turned to look closer at Peter. The boy didn’t look as happy as Tony had been expecting when they emerged. He looked stressed, if anything. “Are you?”

“No one would tell me what was going on,” Peter admitted, eyes darting around. “I was allowed in the building, but they were afraid the pheromones would trigger my heat, so I had to stay away. Friday tried to explain, but I was so worried…”

“Oh, come on, kid, no,” Tony whispered, reaching out and grabbing Peter. He pulled the omega close and wrapped his arms around him, feeling Peter shudder against him. Over Peter’s shoulder he could see Bucky watching them, waiting to see if he was needed. “Peter, I’m sorry. I’ll put in the paperwork or whatever I need to ensure you’re one of our next of kin as soon as possible, okay? I won’t let that happen again.”

“Friday tried, but she was afraid too,” Peter admitted. He glanced up at the ceiling, a habit he kept long after Tony told him she didn’t reside there, most likely because of Bucky looking at the cameras while talking to Friday. 

“I apologize Boss, but I couldn’t fully explain without showing him the video feed of how it started,” Friday said, catching even Bucky’s attention as well. “I felt it went against my protocol to show him that without prior approval.”

“And you were right, because, uh, yeah,” Tony said, swallowing. He looked at Peter, who looked confused. And of course he did. His Uncle Ben had been an omega, but Aunt May was a beta down to her bones. Mouthy and intimidating, sure, but beta. Peter’s knowledge of ruts was far less than what those of an omega’s heat was. “Peter, what do you know about an alpha’s rut?”

Peter immediately flushed bright red and honestly, at the moment, he looked even younger than he normally did. They all knew that Peter was slowly hitting adulthood on them, but he had a baby face that put them in false security. Right then, it was even worse, and he tried to stammer a reply, then chose to look down at the web shooters he was working on instead of answering.

Bucky had slowly stood, handing DUM-E his ball and walking forward. He cleared his throat, causing Peter to jerk from nerves. “When I first woke up and watched television without any outside influence, it was after the SHIELD mission, taking down the helio-whatever things-”

“Oh come on, I helped-”

“Not the point,” Bucky said, smirking. He turned back to Peter. “I had dragged Captain America out of the river, confused and knowing nothing, so I found a place to sleep. Then I woke up and did intel, which is usually watching television and reading magazines, to fit in.”

“Of course,” Peter agreed, a small bit of humor returning. 

“Everything showed an alpha’s rut as this glorious, violent rush. And, naturally that is all an omega wants, right? To be handled, and taken, and dominated?” Bucky asked, watching Peter’s face carefully. 

Peter shook his head. “No.”

“Exactly,” Bucky said. He glanced back at Tony. “Tell him.”

“Buck,” Tony replied, not feeling like his pseudo-kinda-kid should hear something like the way their bonding story went. “It might be too much.”

“Tell him how you treated me,” Bucky said in clear words, his eyes wide and purposeful.

It was then that Tony actually took a second to think of how the media showed Peter on a near daily basis of how perfect and strong an alpha was for taking control, taking over, and just dominating what they wanted. A rut was glorified, a heat was shown as something to not be talked about. An alpha showed off a new scar for the stupid fight they got in a rut that led to injury, an omega hid the slick pads in their purse even if it meant they were bonded and trying for a child, causing a near constant low-heat to the body. It was ridiculous and Peter didn’t know any different, aside from the rants of the one girl he hung out with and with Ned obviously being an alpha…

“You remember how I showed you the BARF program?” Tony asked.

Peter nodded, eyes going sad. The boy had demanded to know what Bucky was going through, what Tony himself had put himself through. So, Tony had let him recall a single happy memory. The sight of Peter crying as he watched himself being taught to skate by his Uncle Ben was worth every second.

“His emotion was anger,” Tony said. 

“Were you told what Steve and I went to Siberia for?” Bucky spoke up. “The Winter Soldiers?”

“There were more?” Peter said, half-asked as he thought. “They were dead already, right?”

“Yeah, but this was when they were created,” Bucky said, before he allowed DUM-E to distract him enough to start tossing the gray ball.

“The memory was anger for Bucky, because of what they did and in turn made him do-” Tony ignored the slight snort off to the side, knowing that Bucky didn’t regret any damage he gave those soldiers, but he didn’t think Peter needed to hear about that right then. “I watched the image of them taking an omega and letting a group of alphas in the room while he was in heat. That is all I’m going to say, that is it.”

“You went into rut wanting to protect him?” Peter asked, sounding confused.

“Hell if I can really say, but he is mine, and I am his and... I couldn’t handle it anymore,” Tony insisted. “I didn’t attack him, I wanted to comfort, but my stupid hormones only knew one way to do it, okay?”

“Don’t let him scare you,” Bucky said, tone soft. He kept his eyes down, tossing the ball for Tony’s kind of real, but probably not alive child. “He didn’t hurt me, at all. He never made an action to hurt me.”

“What if he did?” Peter asked.

Tony’s stomach suddenly dropped as he turned to look at Peter, realizing just what the boy was worried about. “Friday had full rights to bring me down, even if Bucky couldn’t do it himself. Peter, are you worried someone might try something with you? I mean, let’s face it, you’re not in this Tower of awesome like he is. And while I trust my programming, Karen is...just as young as you are. You can tell us.”

Peter shook his head, the movement almost too fast. “No, it’s not that. Nothing new, anyway.”

“Nothing new?” Bucky repeated, almost casually, making Tony envy the guy for his spying skills. Because right then, Tony just wanted to burn Peter’s school down to prove a point to the masses of who belonged to whom. “Tony, you’re growling. It’s okay, Peter’s safe.”

Tony didn’t bother to look guilty on that one as Peter slumped into a nearby chair, rubbing his face. “Look, I noticed Wade - sorry, Deadpool, he gets annoyed about that, so I told you. And of course Ned is going to act weird, I did around him, but…”

“C’mon, webs, spit it out,” Bucky said, setting the gray ball down and leaning against their work table on his elbow. 

“Flash… he’s been worse,” Peter admitted. His face was bright red, one hand out to pick at the edge of the trigger of his web shooters. “He’s always been aggressive and vile, calling me Penis Parker-”

“Really?” Bucky asked, before growing quiet from both Tony and Peter’s expression. “Sorry, the Great Depression made our nicknames less… obvious.”

“Sure,” Tony said, dryly. He rubbed at Peter’s back, who leaned into the touch. “So, spit it out, what is he doing now?”

“Nothing!” Peter snapped, stepping away and wrapping his arms around his own waist. “It’s like I get labeled as an omega and suddenly, I’m his least favorite target. I used to spend every other hour of school trying to avoid his hatred, or trying to get him back. And now it’s like he’s...gone.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Bucky asked, seeming confused. But this was from a guy who spent most of his life either in war, training for war, or a child watching others go off to war. Tony fought down the urge to try to comfort him from that thought alone.

“I get it okay, I’m at the age where everything changes,” Peter muttered, still red in the face and looking more annoyed than embarrassed. “But it shouldn’t change that much, should it?”

“Is he even a confirmed alpha?” Tony asked, hesitant, because this was an age group he didn’t have actual knowledge about. He was already in college at Peter’s age.

“He’s telling everyone he is,” Peter mumbled.

Bucky glanced at Tony, wincing slightly. “Yeah, but, who do you know that has heard it straight from him? Even Ned wouldn’t tell you what his status was originally, right?”

Peter looked up, a weird expression flashing across his face. “Umm, yeah, you’re right. I’ll look into it.”

“Peter,” Tony started, the way Peter suddenly seemed to switch moods worrying him. “You’re okay now, though, right?”

“Absolutely,” Peter replied, sounding suddenly more chipper. Tony glanced at Bucky for some kind of help, but the man merely shrugged. Peter look up at him, smiling. “But you do smell different. Who knew the Iron Man could smell even more like metal? Oh, and... I don’t really know, but Bucky had it on him. You both melded.”

Tony felt a rush of pleasure and had to grab at the table before him to stay upright. He hadn’t let any actually human near them since they emerged, afraid that everything he was feeling was a mere wishful fantasy. But if Peter, who could scent them out in a blizzard, could make such a comment…

Tony felt a little faint, realizing for the first full time with a clear head that he was actually bonded. He felt a strong, so overly strong, arm wrap around his waist and hold him up easily. He gave over to the sensation and had to also grab hold of the tabletop to be able to listen in to the words attached to Bucky’s vibrating chest against his back.

“-the thing with alphas,” Bucky was saying, chuckling. “Look at him, he got confused, so he went to his senses to reconnect him. I’m here, so it’s immediate, hey doll.”

“That’s mean,” Tony said, despite him staying in a relaxed state. “It’s true though, our senses are like a way for us to have radar.”

“I know this,” Peter suddenly said. “Yeah, Ned suddenly got lost the other day, like he was in a fog and following something. I was able to ease him out of it, but MJ just got a growl and a near punch if I hadn’t stepped in.”

“Whatever he was keeping an eye on, he probably lost track,” Tony admitted, taking this chance to hold Bucky close to himself. “It happens. Sometimes it’s not even that important, but at that age it doesn’t matter. Us alphas are a bit like dogs, I had to train myself with that. Thankfully I was at rich kid school, fewer distractions. Can’t imagine how Ned’s dealing with it. Did you figure out what he was tracking?”

“He wouldn’t say,” Peter admitted.

“Don’t ask unless you think it’s worth it,” Bucky commented. “I got defensive anytime someone tried to ask when I was that young. It was like I had my own little secret and I couldn’t share it. Even if that one time it was the milkman.”

Tony snorted. “Good job showing your age.”

“So, I shouldn’t be freaking out like this?” Peter asked. 

Tony sighed, wondering when he had a sudden teenage omega looking at him for answers. But he smiled and reached out, ruffling Peter’s head and enjoying the content look on his face as he did so. “Nothing wrong with keeping notes, okay? But it doesn’t mean something is happening.”

*

“Do you regret it?”

Bucky’s eyes snapped up, a low growl building in his chest before he even registered that Dr Grodin spoke. She didn’t react, and he found his show of dominance faltering under her calm, careful gaze. “No, I don’t.”

“There’s not a part of you, that still holds on to the alpha side of your nature, that doesn’t wish to be with an omega?” Dr Grodin asked, her tone careful. She knew she was stepping on shaky ground with her questions, but Bucky understood the need to ask. He wasn’t exactly a normal situation. “I ask, because my job is to make sure you are happy and to go even further and make sure you understand why you are happy.”

“He doesn’t look at me and think that I’m just his omega or just a strong alpha,” Bucky replied, looking down at here his thumbnail was slowly picking at a bit of loose skin on his index finger. “He looks at me and sees me. I don’t want to be a label. I was a label, the Asset... I can’t be a label anymore.”

“That’s good,” she said, smiling. “Bucky, I want you to spend the time before our next session thinking about the people who were in your life and the ones that are here now. I’m not asking you to label them, don’t even view them in terms of alpha and omegas. I want you to focus on how each relationship made you feel and if that feeling ever changed.”

Bucky watched her a moment. “Why?”

“Because we’ve gotten to know one another,” Dr Grodin explained. “While some therapy is just this, talking about day-to-day stresses, ours sadly has to start taking a different road. We are going to have to talk about your past, whether it’s experiences or relationships, so that you can learn coping skills to keep yourself healthy today. And that means I need you to start remembering.”

“I only get glimpses,” he admitted.

“That’s all we need,” she replied. “It’s the emotions connected to those glimpses that we are going to have to focus on processing the most, that’s what is important. It’s going to be confusing and choppy in the beginning. You may connect a thought to one person, only later to realize it was a completely different person you didn’t remember being there. It happens. That’s why this is going to be a bit of a journey.”

“What do you want me to do?” Bucky asked, ignoring the nervous twist in his stomach at this latest assignment.

“What you’ve already been doing, only you’re going to shift your focus from just notating your emotions but also connecting them to a person. I want you to put as much detail into what you write in your journal as possible,” Dr Grodin said. “If you wake in the middle of the night, then your journal should be at your bedside for whomever you last saw in that dream. I don’t expect you to take it everywhere with you, but I do expect you to be writing in it a couple of times a day.”

“Doable,” Bucky replied.

It was usually then that Dr Grodin ended their session, his new homework given. This time she watched him a moment, face carefully professional. “May I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, it’s your job,” Bucky returned, raising an eyebrow and feeling some inner warning rise up that he almost wanted to ignore.

“The two alphas you have spoken most of in your sessions with me have been Steve and Tony,” she began. “It’s been a while since you’ve mentioned Steve. Why do you think that is?”

“I have Tony,” Bucky replied immediately, shooting her a confused look. “Steve was...my past, but even then he was just a friend. He was the only other person I really had to talk about, drama notwithstanding.”

“You once said that it was like Steve was this connection that followed you everywhere, you’d never lose it,” she commented, referencing a vague statement he had made on their fourth session.

“It’s still there,” he admitted with a nervous shrug. “Not scary and confusing like before, but it’s there. I know Steve. I get Steve. But Tony gets me. I feel Tony in a way I never did with Steve. What Steve and I had, it was never what he wanted, and it will never be what he thinks it can be. I’ve stop replying to him and I think he’s got the point. I haven’t heard from him in...it’s been so long.”

“How do you feel about him wanting that connection with you so much?” 

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her, frowning. “I didn’t really care for it back then, to be honest. It was off, but he was my friend and weak...even when he got big he was still Stevie. Someone had to protect the idiot.”

Dr Grodin leaned back, nodding like she had come to some sort of decision. “Bucky, if you feel that Tony and you are stable as you say? I think you need to clear the air about Steve with him. I know it will be difficult, but you remember what it was like being an alpha?”

Bucky looked away, staring out the window for a moment. Being an alpha was something of his past, at least that’s what he tried to tell himself. Every vague moment of his memory he had only pulled from the strengths of being an alpha he could tolerate in order to survive being an omega in his environment, Dr Grodin and Tony had helped him realize that. 

It was then he realized what Tony must have felt every time Steve Rogers was mentioned around him, this ever present alpha in his territory that he couldn’t get rid of that had a hold of his omega, on what he biologically felt was his. Even not including Bucky in the picture, the haunting memory of Steve in Tony’s life would be enough. It would have driven Bucky to madness in his youth, he could at least say that. The drive to own as an alpha was always there, even if it was often ridiculous and even poisonous. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you think I’m not... doing what I’m supposed to, not giving Tony everything he needs?”

“No, I am in no way saying that,” Dr Grodin said in a firm voice. “I am just saying that communication is always a good thing and if there are thoughts you have, memories or just random questions you have, Tony should know. If you are bonded to him, your trust in him is critical in keeping that healthy. His trust in you is the same. I do not feel there is any reason for him to worry about where your thoughts lay, but I want to make sure that you feel that way as well.”

“You can give a guy a headache, doc,” Bucky muttered.

“Sadly, I’ve found that’s part of my job description,” she admitted with a half-smile. “I am just encouraging you to discuss some of this with him. Now that you are bonded he is part of this, fully. I will even be insisting on joint sessions, just so he knows what’s happening here.”

Bucky almost felt the urge to squirm in his seat. “No, I get that. I’ll... I’ll think about that.”

“In the end that’s all this is, thinking and choosing to act on what is healthy.” 

*

Bucky didn’t just come out and bring up Steve to Tony, not with the blissful expression that the alpha kept getting on his face when he thought no one was looking. There was no way Bucky was going to take that away from him any time soon. There was something just adorable about Tony now, even more so than he had ever noticed about the man before. 

It was when Bucky walked in on Tony dancing a slow dance with U that he decided that all the questions and worries he had, didn’t matter, not with this as his future.

He was still curious, though. Living in the Tower, without the need to look over his shoulder at every turn, had brought out that innate curiosity he had had his entire life. As a child and, admittedly, younger man he had turned it toward the release of science and the fictional possibilities. Even in the army, his curiosity had allowed him pay attention and take in information well enough to pass through the ranks to Sergeant. 

So, it was natural for him to finally take full use of the computer Tony had provided him months ago to begin looking up what the world thought of his best friend.

What he found was...conflicting, and made no sense.

“Miss Friday?” Bucky asked, frowning as he moved from an older article about an awkward Captain America making positive videos for high school health classes all the way to the release of hundreds if not more of non-Hydra SHIELD agents onto the Internet, alerting every world organization just what kind of spy was in their midst. Bucky sat back, horrified at what was actually happening at SHIELD when he himself was there, albeit in a much different capacity.

“Yes, Mister Barnes?” she replied.

“I hope I’m not making things difficult for you, but would it be possible for you to keep all this from Tony?” Bucky asked, already feeling guilty. “I don’t plan on doing anything against his back, but I don’t want to make him think something is wrong just because I’m trying to figure this stuff out.”

“And what, if I may ask, would it be that you are figuring out?”

“When Steve became so much of a stranger,” Bucky admitted. “I don’t want to contact him again, I just need to get his story right in my head.”

“Very well, but I can not avoid a direct question from the Boss,” she said, firmly.

“No!” Bucky replied, looking up. “I don’t want it to be a big lie! I just don’t need him worrying over nothing. And I was kind of hoping you could help me find something...older. I can’t find anything from back in the forties. Rebecca didn’t seem to keen on talking about him again. I can’t bring it up to her.”

“I can provide you access to the Smithsonian’s database as well as the few history museums who received donations of Captain America items of believed ownership,” she offered. “A number of the items Howard Stark himself owned ended up at those very locations.”

Bucky let out a chuckle, shocking himself. “I guess Steve really is a time capsule.”

“Mister Barnes, why are you wanting to look at these things?” Friday asked for clarification.

Bucky took a moment to think about that, staring at the image on his screen of Captain America, smiling in some cheesy video about proper stretching before running for gym classes everywhere. “I guess, it’s like he’s this loose end, you know? I don’t really know if I want him around now, but I need to understand why he was around for the time he was. Miss Friday, I’ll be honest with you, Steve has been the trigger for so much of what I remember of myself. I’m just trying to keep that going.”

He paused, looking up at the camera. “I love where I’m at, and I love Tony, but I want to have memories of the past that aren’t just what Hydra made me do. Steve’s the only link I have to most of them.”

“Very well,” she said, her tone soft, before the computer screen changed over to what looked to be a database, a code automatically typing in the username and password field to give him clearance. 

“Permission, ma’am, to pull the plug the moment you feel the need,” he offered.

“Oh, Mister Barnes, rest assured I will,” Friday replied, dimming the lights slightly as he set about his research.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so, I have a story outline in my head but not one fitted to a chapter number. Why? My brain doesn't work that way. But we are in the last 1/3rd of the story and entering basically act 3 I guess you can say.


	18. Chapter 18

Bucky sat there, in the same place he found himself nearly every week, arm out as Dr Wright withdrew blood for testing. She looked like she had something to say, so he remained silent as she did her work, knowing she would tell her peace eventually. He watched her put away the vials and dispose of the needle.

“Well, your scans and blood work are looking good,” Dr Wright finally said, settling in her chair. “I’m still seeing some stress to your body such as your heart and stomach, no doubt caused by the never ending chaos your life seems to insist on being. Your bonding, however, seems to be helping repair it rather swiftly, so I can’t find myself worry about it too much. Though, we will be testing regularly just the same.”

“I didn’t know it could do that,” Bucky admitted.

“It’s not common, but when a bond is strong enough or even just new enough it can help rejuvenate the body, sometimes heal,” Dr Wright replied. She turned fully toward him and a gave a gentle smile. “Now, with your last heat being just that, I’m sure you have questions?”

Bucky remained silent, he honestly couldn’t bring himself to even question anything about that heat, the memory was still too perfect in his head.

Dr Wright let out a small sigh. “I wanted to clear some things up for you. Just because this heat went so smoothly, it doesn’t mean they all will.”

“I know,” Bucky replied, not letting himself believe that things could ever be that smooth. He accepted that he wasn’t the perfect omega and that it wouldn’t always turn out so wonderfully every heat or rut.

“There is, of course, a mental component to heats and ruts,” Dr Wright said. “I’m sure you’re aware of this, you saw it happen to Tony Stark right before he entered his rut with you. His mental and emotional reaction triggered a body reaction. Your body responded in kind.”

“Which is why it was a full heat, with no rut there at all,” Bucky surmised, the sentence tilting in the end just enough to turn it into a question.

“Most likely, yes,” Dr Wright agreed. “Sadly, this means your next heat could very well be like the first one. Now that you have bonded I can’t risk sedating you for its duration, not with an alpha there to make those decisions or with the chance that it could end up causing damage to your new bond.”

“I wouldn’t want you to,” Bucky said quickly, swallowing. “It’s just going to have to happen on its own. I don’t think I’d hurt Tony, not even in a rut.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you would either,” Dr Wright agreed. “But, we should at east think of a game plan, just as we did last time. Deal?”

“Yeah,” Bucky breathed out, raising his hand to rub at his face, suddenly feeling tired and wishing things could just be simple for once. “Let’s do that.”

*

Life seemed to speed up, or that’s how it felt for Bucky Barnes as the month passed. He was able to visit Rebecca a couple more times, once with Peter. She had doted on the young omega, just as Bucky expected, offering him one of her photo albums to take home with him. Peter had held it close to his chest as he left, a small grin on his face as he refused to share with Bucky what was inside.

Tony later informed him it was childhood photos, mostly of Bucky strutting around Brooklyn like he owned everything. Given that Bucky was apparently younger than ten in all these photos, it explained the expression of utter adoration on Tony’s face at the mention of them.

Peter still refused to show him, saying he couldn’t risk Bucky destroying them out of embarrassment.

Before Bucky had time to blink, yet another week had passed, and he was once again in the BARF room, watching Tony attach the sensors with a sense of déjà vu. “What is it we’re doing today?”

“The reading for surprise was a little off once I was able to go over the data,” Tony told him. “It could be because it was the oldest memory out of all of them you pulled up, so the feeling and details weren’t right. But, it’s the only one that needs to be redone, after it’s the dreaded L-O-V-E one.”

Bucky met Tony’s eyes, seeing the sparkling amusement there. “Oh, I think that’s going to be the easiest.”

Tony looked away, but not quickly enough to hide the blush his cheeks. “Well, predictable declarations on my behalf aside, let’s get started.”

“You’re not that predictable,” Bucky commented, settling back in the chair.

“Oh, trust me, when it comes to love I very much am,” Tony admitted, walking away. “And you’re kinda my official dealbreaker on that one these days, so get used to it.”

“Gladly,” Bucky said softly, before closing his eyes and letting Tony talk him through the concentration process. 

Last time, he had remembered the fireworks display the neighbors had done on the roof of the building next to theirs for the fourth of July. While small fireworks had been pretty common, Bucky had been startled awake as child and had rushed to the window to see the explosion of color. Half the neighborhood had thrown a fit, the other half had shouted in glee. Bucky mostly remembered just staring, his heart hammering in his chest, as reds and golds flashed across the night sky. 

This time, and maybe it had been the talk of love, but this time he sees different.

_There is a girl with brown hair and soft eyes, reading a book out loud as he lays on the grass next to her. She’s a classmate, he knows that much. He can more feel than see Steve not far away, studying on his own, while a few other kids throw a ball farther down the park. He looks up at the girl. “This is boring.”_

_“It’s Shakespeare,” she replies, like that explains everything. “And it’s our homework.”_

_“Ugh, it’s so...sappy,” he mumbles, looking away to stare at the clouds, tempted to look the sun directly in the eye just as something worthwhile to do. He’s twelve, he thinks. Gangly, the stubborn set of an alpha jaw already in play._

_“Be nice, and I’ll fast-forward to where they kill themselves,” she says._

_He looks at her again, a grin spreading on his face. “Really?”_

_She dips down, faster than a snake, and drops a kiss on his mouth. She pulls back, face red, immediately hiding it behind the book. “Really.”_

_The suddenness of it, the surprise fills his chest with warmth and his stomach with more butterflies than he’s ever seen in person. He’s holding his breath, wondering if she was going to do it again, kind of wanting her to. He ignores the sound of Steve packing up, leaving, because the rush in his veins covers everything else up._

_He can’t help it. He’s just had his first kiss._

Bucky opened his eyes, sucking in a breath, still feeling that strange feeling he had in the memory. The shock of it, the experience of something so perfect and pure for the first time. He cleared his throat, trying to clear his head even more so. “Uh, was that, okay?”

He can hear the sound of Tony on his computer, before Tony’s footsteps echo the room as the alpha came closer. Tony’s mouth curved upward as he casually leaned against the side of Bucky’s chair, reaching out to let his fingertips linger on the top of Bucky’s hand. “Should I be jealous, Romeo?”

“I don’t remember her name,” Bucky admitted, feeling a bit sad about that and determined to ask Rebecca later. 

“Well, I guess I can’t be that jealous, then,” Tony relented, still giving him that half-smile. 

“That was my first kiss,” Bucky finally said, knowing that’s the information Tony was wanting to know. He ignored the way Tony’s smile widens, knowing he was definitely bushing. “That...yeah, that was my first kiss.”

“Bit old, weren’t you?”

Bucky glared at him. “Quality over quantity. Besides, I’m a gentleman. Clearly, I always have been.”

“Yeah, you kind of are,” Tony said fondly, leaning further in and kissing his cheek. “Well, I’d say that should do for now. I’ll let you know if that was a better memory. In the meantime, Romeo, I have a movie and dinner in our living room all ready to go. The food should be arriving right about now.”

“Like a date?” Bucky asked as Tony reached up to pull off the sensors, feeling a surge of smugness when Tony’s fingers fumbled. “Don’t be so shy, doll, it’s only our second.”

“Second?” Tony asked, meeting his eyes.

“The diner, watching the kid beat up stuff,” Bucky reminded him, grinning. “I got to kill something on that date. Think you can top that?”

Tony stepped between Bucky’s thighs as he tugged the last sensor off, eyes going dark and one hand dropping down to squeeze lightly at Bucky’s thigh. “I think I might be able to, but until then I have the perfect movie for us to watch.”

“I’m not watching Romeo and Juliet,” Bucky informed him.

“Okay, fine,” Tony said, tugging Bucky off the chair. “But I do get to tease you about this at some point. Romeo.”

*

A week later, Bucky had already gotten a bit bored ready only about Steve Rogers. While he found much of what his friend was able to do admirable, there was still something there in every photo or article he found that brought up a strange emotion in him. Even when he had actually been there for many of the reports, his brain kept trying to make him feel slightly different from how he was reacting right then. 

It was confusing. Enough for Bucky to put it to the side and ignore.

With most of America’s best databases at his fingertips, Bucky found himself indulging in what Peter said was what every one did online: look up his own name and those of his loved ones. He supposed a historical and news database was a better place to do this than Google or the search engine Tony had been formulating for his own company. 

He immediately shut down a search of his own name, seeing the odd Hydra file that had masqueraded as SHIELD file pop up in a Smithsonian website hitting him harder than he thought. 

He leaned back in his chair and reached for the strawberry lemonade that Peter had got him addicted to a couple of weeks ago, leading to the young man bringing him a huge container of it with his last visit. After a moment of thought, Bucky typed in his father’s name, eyes watering as he saw the images of the alpha in uniform during World War I. He immediately began printing out the images and articles, ignoring that he’d be writing more than just one page about emotions connected to people in his journal that night.

His mother wielded very little results, but he wasn’t surprised. The two images he was able to find, which was more than he expected, were enough. He knew Rebecca had more, but he’d been hesitant to ask until now. Peter might have been given a family collection, a pure sign of his acceptance in her eyes, but for some reason Bucky didn’t feel he was strong enough to even ask. 

Looking at his mother in her church best, one arm around the small boy that could only be him, Bucky had to smile. It felt like him, but not him, and it was strange to admit that he was okay with that.

“What are you doing in here?” Tony asked, peeking his head in the room, the lights brightening as he stepped inside. 

Bucky didn’t bother to hide his search at all, knowing he had nothing to hide from Tony. “It’s my mom. Friday helped me get into some databases, you know, look up my past. It’s like seeing your own life through a lace curtain, I can almost feel myself there.”

“The docs okay with this?” Tony asked, pulling over another chair, so he could take a closer look at the photo on the screen. 

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Tony said, squinting. “Damn, you have her eyes, don’t you?”

“Guess so,” Bucky agreed. They were silent a moment, before Bucky cleared his throat. “I was going to look up Rebecca next, see if I can find anything on her other than what I’ve got. I bet it would give her something to laugh about for our next visit. Or mortify her, but what else is a big brother supposed to do?”

“Just look her up like that, huh?” Tony said softly, before turning even softer eyes toward him. “What if you see something bad?”

“So far it’s just a picture here and there, one article about my dad at war,” Bucky said, frowning. “What do you mean something bad?”

Tony looked to be arguing with himself, before letting out a sigh. “I’m just saying, Buck, not everything in the news or photos are good. This might have stuff there that people might not want you to see, if they knew you saw it.”

Bucky glanced at the screen, then Tony. “What are you talking about?”

“Okay, so, you know how I get paranoid?” Tony started, waiting for Bucky to nod. “So, I run background checks. Or if someone says something weird, I take notice and look it up. I ran a check and-”

“You ran a check on my little sister?” Bucky asked, his tone neutral. He wasn’t angry, because he would have done the same thing given the resources. It was the way Tony was hesitating, almost sounding guilty, that had him on edge. “No, it’s more than that. Come on, Tony, just spit it out. It’s probably not as bad as you think it is.”

“When she reacted to the topic of Steve, I…” Tony didn’t look at him, his whole body tense. “I didn’t tell you what I found, because... I…”

“You going to make me go and ask a little old lady what you’re talking about, or are you just going to spit it out?” Bucky asked, frowning. 

“I’d always planned for you to know,” Tony admitted, looking sad, and he scooted closer and took over the computer. Shocking Bucky entirely by not just ordering Friday to pull up what he needed, he watched as Tony’s shoulder slumped as he pulled up a file with his sister’s name on it and opened it up. “I don’t recommend reading the police report, even back then they were detailed.”

Bucky pushed him to the side, rougher than he normally would have. He pulled up the article, a couple of the images, and didn’t have to look further. He was from the forties, he was from the time that newspapers phrased things so vaguely, hiding a trace of disgust. He knew what all of it meant from a glance faster than he knew Tony had, who had been born in the middle of omegas redefining themselves. 

He clenched his eyes closed, letting out a harsh breath. “She wouldn’t want us to know this, Tony.”

“I-”

“Why exactly did you find this in the first place? Huh?” Bucky snapped. He felt anger, sure, anyone with a heart would be knowing someone they knew and loved went through what his little sister had. He was angry, but it was the past. So much of his anger was for the past, and he could look at her today, see her smile at the last photo she took of her and her mate. It was an anger that could swiftly shift more to mere sadness. “I understand your need to satisfy every curiosity, but… why?”

“It’s been a while since Steve Rogers has been hiding at every corner for you, I get that,” Tony said, his eyes wide and face turning stubborn. “But it was so close to home at the time, just the effect he was having on you, at that time that I couldn’t help myself. When your sister reacted so… I’ve never heard someone of your generation say his name with such venom before. I had to look. He was already hurting you, I had to know what else I had to protect.”

“You think Steve did that?” Bucky asked, voice low, meeting Tony’s eyes.

It was clear Tony was trying, but failing, to look away. “He was home during that time, during every mention of when Rebecca’s behavior changed according to her alpha, and he didn’t show back up again after it was done. I’m not going to say yes, I think Rogers did this, because I’m old enough to know better than to state absolutes like that. But that was my fear, and it’s something I think I’m always going to be afraid of when it comes to him and you.”

Bucky thought back on what Dr Grodin had said, about being honest with Tony. Especially when it came to Steve. 

“I’m sorry Bucky, I should have told you,” Tony said, when the room got too quiet.

“No,” Bucky replied, shaking his head. “I get it, I understand in a way. I know what those fears and thoughts lead to, Tony. I went on a killing spree in Central Park for a kid not of my blood because of those thoughts.”

“Buck-” Tony started.

“No,” Bucky said more firmly. “I’m not happy, I can’t be. But I get it, I get why you think immediately of Steve. And I get that you didn’t tell me.”

They were quiet for a moment, before Tony leaned in, dropping his forehead down to rest on Bucky’s shoulder. “This seems too easy.”

“I haven’t been telling you everything,” Bucky whispered. He felt Tony tense and tilted his head to bury his nose in the man’s hair, breathing in. “Dr Grodin said I need to be more honest about Steve and why things are the way they are. I didn’t realize what it was doing to you, now I can see how it’s making you think.”

“You don’t think Steve did that to your sister,” Tony surmised in a soft, hesitant voice.

“I don’t,” Bucky admitted, frowning. “I just can’t… I’ve never seen anything like that in him. Even with how he is with me...but definitely not like that.”

“Right,” Tony said, letting out a long rush of air.

“But I get why you do,” Bucky added, turning to look at Tony. “If someone was sniffing around my omega like it’s obvious Steve was with me… and me having such weird heats and ruts and everything. I’m a mess. I’m your omega, and I’m a mess, so my trying to communicate with another alpha who is obviously interested and not shutting that down? I get it and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I made you feel like you had to fight in any way for my attention. I should have been speaking out loud about everything instead of just in my head.”

“Shit, babe, you actually think you’re in the wrong here?” Tony asked, straightening up and scooting closer. He cupped Bucky’s face, eyes intently focused. “Steve knew you weren’t interested that way, and he still kept pushing. It was innocently done, I guess, in a weird not my view kind of way, but he did it, and you had a negative biological response to it. That’s why I’m so on guard about him. You scared me so much and when I saw that look in your sister’s eyes at Rogers’ being mentioned? I might have jumped to a conclusion, but that is no way on you. Whether I’m right or not, none of this is on you.”

Bucky felt tears on his own cheeks before he realized he was crying. “I should have been telling you about him contacting me and how confused I was.”

“Maybe, but… you weren’t my omega then, not really, huh?” Tony asked, pressing their foreheads together. “And I was a little afraid of that alpha side of you kicking my ass if I said anything.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky whispered.

“Me too,” Tony whispered back. “I’m not going to stop thinking the way I do about Rogers, okay?”

“I can’t wrap my head around him doing that,” Bucky said, glancing briefly at the screen. “But, I can see why he’s something you look out for. I do see it, I just don’t...understand it yet. I’ll be more open about it with you from now on.”

“I won’t go digging in places that need your permission anymore,” Tony said, wincing slightly. “Well, I’ll try. How are you not raging on me right now, seeing that report?”

Bucky pulled back, thinking. Then, with a half smile, he took control of the computer and went back to a random photo that he had on his personal files that Peter had helped him upload. He brought the image of Rebecca’s face shot from the newspaper, looking scared and defeated, and brought it up next to a wedding photo. Her face there was beaming as she looked up at her alpha, the one who had stuck with her through all that. “It’s hard to get upset about the past, when the future seems to be worth it. Look at how happy she is there.”

Tony’s voice was a little tight sounding, a clear sign he was holding back the urge to tear up at the comparison. “How long since he died?”

“Nearly a year,” Bucky said.

“She’s lasted a while,” Tony commented.

“Yeah, the doc says she’s starting to decline, though. It’s common with omegas, you know,” Bucky said, tone sad. “Outliving the alpha is pretty common, with wars and aggressive behavior. Usually, the omega lasts long enough to make the needed family arrangements. She’s sticking around just long enough to make sure she’s okay with how everyone is doing, I think.”

“You’re okay with that?” Tony asked, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist, despite the chairs making it not the most comfortable position.

“Can’t be anything wrong with going out on your own terms,” is all Bucky will allow himself to say about that. He doesn’t like the idea of loosing her, after just finding her, but he understood that he has lived a life no one else should. She should get to enjoy the beauty in hers. 

Even knowing what happened to her, Bucky couldn’t bring the righteous anger he felt he should have. And he was right in what he showed Tony. It had happened, and he hadn’t been there to get his revenge, but another alpha had stepped in and did the right thing. There was no arrest for what had happened to her, much like many omegas both then and now, but there was an alpha who had a level head to concentrate on her.

If Rebecca could push through with a love that strong, Bucky couldn’t fault in any way.

He couldn’t, however, allow himself to believe it was Steve who had done that. Bucky knew he had his blind spots, and he knew Steve had always been one of them, but he couldn’t accept that Steve was such a monster. No, Tony had just been insecure about the way Bucky had been hiding things, about the way Steve was obsessing. 

In the end, as Bucky crawled into bed that night and let Tony wrap around him like an octopus, Bucky felt like Steve wasn’t even wroth the agony of trying to figure it out anymore. While he knew, in the future, he’d be open to friendship, he had too much going for himself right then to allow Steve to interrupt it.

Knowing that certainty, fully, for the first time brought an easy smile to his face as he let Tony press his nose into Bucky’s neck. Bucky let out a content hum, eyes closing as Tony answered it with a happy rumble of his own. He was a strong enough man to acknowledge what he couldn’t change, but knowing it ended in happiness as he saw in Rebecca’s wedding photo or the hold Tony had on him right now was enough to calm what anger had the urge rage on.

Perhaps it was the omega in him, calming the alpha part down, but Bucky was willing to go with it. His whole life he had been adaptable, there was no need to change now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if it fit your ideals of how he found out, but trust me, inner thoughts hold the worst impact. This is probably the last relaxing, let's just talk about stuff chapter for a bit.
> 
> I got the flu, ya'all! COVID test neg. But, yeah, sluggish and 1 nebulizer dose in.
> 
> Be safe, everyone. I'd be political, and say stuff, but last time I did I nearly had to call security cause a woman said the new COVID vaccines were going to create a new level of austism. Thankfully my rage (stepdad is autistic, my mom is a preschool teacher with autism specialty, so no) died down. 
> 
> So yes, non-political. I'm kinda out of it, love all of you and will be re-reading this chapter for non-sick fix ups later. WOO. HUGS.
> 
> EDIT 2,0: so i got growly in the comments, apparently there's a meme or joke I have no idea about, and it doesn't translate well with a fever. My commentary shall now desist post my apology.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I had pneumonia, not the flu. But all better now! I held back on writing until my fever cleared and then this weekend was me and hubby's 9th wedding anniversary! He's an adorable sap, it's impossible to write about other boys when he's in cuddle mode.

Tony would be the first to admit, with Bucky’s history as the Winter Soldier he had expected a stronger response with the information that had come out. That isn’t to say he wasn’t happy Bucky hadn’t reached for his nearest weapon, but it made him worry as Bucky began to get quiet. He could easily recognize the signs of overthinking as Bucky went about his day. And the next, and the next. 

“You okay?” he asked at one point, watching as Bucky narrowed his eyes and actually analyzed the question before answering. His ‘yes’ did nothing to alleviate Tony’s worry, because it was a clear sign of just how much Bucky was living in his own head that it had even taken so long to get the simple reply. 

If Tony had been younger and less aware of the actual needs of others, much like he was pre-Iron Man, his initial drive would have been to keep dragging Bucky into various empty rooms. While the idea of stripping the man down and getting him to simply make noise was a very tempting thought, he knew that it would be a temporary measure. 

“Hey, meet me up on the roof garden in about thirty minutes, okay?” Tony asked.

“It’s getting cold out there,” Bucky commented, with a small frown.

“Making it one of our last times to really enjoy it,” Tony reminded him. “Please?”

“Sure,” Bucky replied, patting DUM-E on the head and picking up that dreaded journal. Tony knew what it was for, of course, but the more Bucky held it to his chest the more he knew things were bothering the man. 

Tony watched him leave, letting out a long sigh. “Hey, Friday?”

“Yes, Boss?”

“Gather up the most recent BARF analysis and those letters of observance I know Pepper and Peter wrote about Bucky’s progress,” he ordered, standing and giving a slight stretch before heading to the elevator himself. He selected the resident floor. “Send them over to the parole board with the request to reevaluate Bucky’s restrictions. I mean, the guy should at least get to go to the post office again.”

“Consider it done,” she replied.

Tony hoped with a bit more freedom, Bucky’s mood would start to improve again. Still, that type of decision could take days if not weeks. Tony sighed as the elevator opened up and he made straight for the kitchen. Quickly, he gathered up the container of grapes and the block of cheddar cheese. He placed that along with the parmesan and herb crackers Bucky had a fondness for in a cloth grocery bag. It wasn’t a picnic basket, but it would have to do. It took him a moment to dig out the bottle of honey meade he had stuffed in the back of the cabinet, originally a forgiveness gift for Pepper. Finally, he grabbed the thick throw blanket off the couch before returning to the elevator and riding it up to the roof garden. 

The air had a sharpness to it that spoke of an early winter, despite the first day of winter being a couple of months away. Tony ignored the shiver and walked around a few bushes, each showing some of the last of it’s flowering, to see Bucky sitting on what Tony had slowly began to think of as their bench. The man was writing in that damn journal again, but at the sound of Tony’s footsteps he quickly closed it and set it to the side. 

The fact that Tony meant that much to him brought a smile to Tony’s face. He raised the bag in greeting. “Hey, hungry?”

“What’s this?” Bucky asked.

Tony set the bag down. He paused, before realizing it was getting darker and the throw could be put to better uses than a picnic blanket. Smiling, he walked over, pulling the bag along, and sat next to Bucky. “Help me with this.”

Bucky looked amused as he helped settle the throw over their shoulders. “Picnic in the park, huh?”

“Well, I figured we could use a little break,” Tony said, knowing he sounded a bit unsure. “I’ve got a few upgrades with flashing red lights on my desk I’ve been avoiding. You have so much of your therapy and, well, us-”

“Us?” Bucky interrupted, looking worried.

Tony reached out and opened the meade, only realizing he forgot glasses. Sighing, he said, “We kind of had a big information dump on us, okay? And you’ve been so quiet, and I’m just worried I won’t be able to pull you out of it.”

“Tony,” Bucky said, tone sad as he grabbed the bottle out of Tony’s hand and took a swig. “Wow, okay, that’s different. That’s not the point, the thing is that I’m just trying to figure things out, so it makes sense together. Nothing in my head is in a timeline, so it doesn’t make sense the way your memories do for you.”

“Yeah, I think I get that,” Tony admitted, leaning back and taking the bottle from Bucky. He was shocked by the utter sweetness of the drink, before ignoring it entirely to stare at Bucky’s face. “I just worry about you.”

“It’s who you are,” Bucky said. “You worry and help. I see it every time the Avengers send you a request for a weapon upgrade or there’s a battle that they feel they can’t handle. I see it when Peter is here, the way he looks at you. I get that it’s how you are, but you don’t need to do that with me. I don’t need to rely on you like that.”

“Yeah?” Tony asked, ignoring the weird drop in his stomach as he reached for the grapes. 

“I don’t want to ask you for help just because we bonded,” Bucky admitted. “I’m not going to be this heavy weight for you. I can take care of myself.”

Tony leaned in, feeling Bucky’s heat against his side. “You are one of the few people I trust to not just expect me to give them something for no real reason. This isn’t what I’m worried about.”

“You’re worried about Steve,” Bucky muttered, grabbing the cheese and staring at it, making Tony realize he forgot a knife. So, maybe Tony hadn’t planned this picnic out very well. Bucky set it to the side and accepted the meade again. “What part of it are you worried about? Me not agreeing with you or me running off to find him?”

“I’m going to admit, I find it really hard to believe you can’t see something about his behavior-”

“I see it bothers you,” Bucky replied, eyes firm. “And because of that you get my promise I will never reach out to him. And if he reaches out to me, I promise to let you know.”

Some small, tight knot in Tony’s body relaxed. He didn’t even realize he had been holding onto that thought, even been that horribly worried about it. He stared at Bucky for a moment, watching him nervous eat a grape and take a gulp of the honey meade. He reached out and slid his hand along Bucky’s jaw. It was the way Bucky’s lips immediately turned upward that urged him into the kiss. It was long and slow, the perfect hint of tongue, and Tony only pulled away when Bucky let out a soft moan.

“I’m not afraid of Steve Rogers. I guess past insecurities keep peeking up, I’m going to admit that. But I love you, I trust you,” Tony whispered. 

“I have so many thoughts and memories in my head, doll, but you’re the only one that I’ve ever said the words to,” Bucky said back, his words just a husky sound. “Don’t ever think I’ll pick someone else over you, especially a scrawny Brooklyn kid. I just want to understand, okay? Dr Grodin told me to communicate this with you.”

“Yeah,” Tony replied. “I guess because it’s him, I got a little…”

“I’m not happy about how he treated you, either,” Bucky commented. “Trust me, if he contacts me, stands before me tomorrow? I’ll have plenty to question him about. Maybe a fist or two.”

“Okay,” Tony chuckled. “I guess, thank you. Wow, I’m not used to these conversations going so well.”

Bucky just smiled at him, reaching for a grape.

“Okay, seriously, I know you have a knife on you, give me some cheese,” Tony demanded, laughing as Bucky immediately snapped out a small blade and reached for the block of cheddar.

*

Bucky looked up as Tony’s head appeared around the door, the man immediately grinning when he saw what Bucky was doing. “Shaving, really?”

“Never mastered trimming a beard with scissors,” Bucky replied, returning to dragging the safety razor along his jaw. He watched Tony fully appear, shuffling in with an intent look on his face. “Was there something going on?”

“Huh? No, I was just going to let you know I have a Pepper meeting in the living room in a few minutes,” Tony said in a half-aware tone. “I mentioned it yesterday? She’s already waiting.”

Bucky squinted, watching Tony’s reflection. He took a couple more swipes of the razor, watching as Tony’s eyes narrowed in to watch. “Tony?”

“Hmm?” Tony blinked, then gave an awkward smile. “Sorry, I’ve never watched someone shave before.”

“Really?” Bucky asked, turning to frown at him. “You’ve never stumbled in to a barber shop, or had your dad or uncles teach you? How do you get that fancy thing on your face, then?”

Tony laughed. “Well, this is because I get pampered every once in a while and I also know how to use an electric razor. Using a razor like that was easy to figure out. Granted I’m not twenty anymore, so I do understand what I’m seeing. I guess I didn’t realize what seeing someone I’m not related to or in a bromance thing with doing it...okay, never mind.”

Bucky could feel his eyebrows scrunch together as he made the last couple swipes and turned on the facet to rinse it. “I’m pretty sure I lost you at pampering.”

“Uhh,” Tony let out, before darting forward and kissing him. 

Bucky felt the counter’s edge dig into his waistline, nearly painful at the impact from Tony grabbing onto him. But the kiss more that made up from it, it was full pressure, pure taste. He dropped the razor in his hand, glad it was already rinsed off when it clattered to the floor. His arm wrapped around Tony’s shoulders, feeling all of Tony’s body just press into him. He pulled away from the kiss, chuckling. “Really, shaving does it for you?”

“Not really,” Tony said, humming as he pressed his nose against Bucky’s neck. “Super masculine and hot, though. When I can, I should get you a straight razor. Or let you shave me.”

“Sounds like a kink,” Bucky said, threading his fingers through Tony’s hair and smiling when he got a kiss just under his jaw in response.

“More, big strong man doing something delicate and dangerous thing,” Tony said with a self-deprecating laugh.

“I don’t mind,” Bucky replied, tugging Tony’s head back and loving that Tony just let him without any alpha agitation. The man looked up at him with blown pupils, mouth parted to let out a small moan. And suddenly Bucky had that unifying feeling, like knew this was his new home. Not a place, but Tony looking at him just that way, because his alpha’s gaze was only on him, and he had that much control. He leaned down and kissed Tony, making it slow to contrast the hard hold Tony’s hand had on his hips.

“Bucky,” Tony more whispered, like a breath that escaped. Then Tony was fully kissing him, grabbing him.

He felt himself lifted, fully on the counter as Tony pushed his way between Bucky’s thighs. His hold on Tony’s hair tightened, like some part of him wanted to reward him. He used the same hold to tug Tony upward into another kiss, this time thrusting his tongue into the man’s mouth. The near guttural growl Tony let out sent a rush through him, making him release his hold on Tony’s hair and cup around his neck, giving him full reign. A whimper escaped him as Tony’s response as he tilted his head was to begin laying soft kisses and a touch of tongue along his neck, just below his jaw.

His legs wrapped around Tony’s hips as all thoughts of Pepper waiting for Tony in the living room refused to surface. He felt the slow drag of Tony’s teeth along his jugular. “Shit, Tony.”

“God, I want you so bad,” Tony mumbled against his skin, sending a shiver down Bucky’s spine. “Want to make you feel so good.”

“Y-yeah?” Bucky asked, nerves suddenly erupting in his stomach. Past the bonding heat and rut, they hadn’t gone much further than the occasional make-out session and grope. Tony had seemed to be content on them taking their time. While that was all and good, Bucky could tell that the lack of sex was starting to get to both of them and Bucky kept waking in the middle of the night to dreams of experiencing just a thing.

“Yes,” Tony whispered, pulling Bucky down and into another kiss, this one with a harder edge to it that set something inside Bucky ablaze. 

The nervous fluttering in his stomach got worse, imagining all the different things Tony could possibly want to do. Sure, Tony had penetrated him, but that was during a heat and Bucky was fully aware that was something else entirely outside of that. They had barely even been naked in front of each other, both still wearing a towel when they came out of the shower or pajama pants at night.

“We haven’t-” Bucky started, pulling away and knowing his face was flushed bright red. 

“I know,” Tony replied, his gaze soft. “And we don’t have to, even if for a while we only do that during your heat, I’ll be okay. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to touch you and taste you and make you feel good, without going that far.” Tony leaned in close, lips grazing Bucky’s ear. “I want to watch you come, I want to press against you with no clothes and drive you insane with pleasure.”

Bucky tried to speak, but only a thick, shaky breath escaped him.

“I have a bunch of work stuff to do today, and we’re working on installing an AI at the Compound, so I have to swing by there to double-check everything is good to introduce Friday’s little brother. It’s been a while since Friday had a permanent space in their system, so I’ll be knee-deep in code this afternoon,” Tony said, pulling back and walking backward toward the door. There was a fond little smile on his face, but otherwise he gave no indication that he had basically short-circuited Bucky’s brain. “But, when I get home tonight?”

Bucky cleared his throat and finally slid off the counter. “Yeah?”

“I’m going to try to make you the only pasta dish I really know, which we’ll eat by candlelight and with sappy violin music in the background,” Tony said, his tone intense and gaze revealing a level of heat that Bucky wasn’t used to seeing. “Then, we’re going to take a shower together.”

“A shower?” Bucky asked, just staring and trying to ignore the odd nervous mixed with excitement that caused.

“Oh, yes,” Tony replied, a slow grin appearing on his face. 

*

Tony was humming to himself when he heard the door to utility closest open. Of course, it also held the databases and computer needed for the security and servers required for the average superhero team. He had arrived two hours prior to Natasha trying to greet him in that odd, dominant way of hers where she immediately made a room feel like she had called the meeting. He admired the self-confidence it required to make such a move, but it had been lost on the Steve Rogers Show.

For once Rogers didn’t zone in on Tony. No, he had a little gaggle of Senators around, all looking ready to promise their firstborn. It was the perfect amount of attention to keep Rogers from noticing him entirely. From there it was simple to ignore Natasha’s attempt at conversation, especially when Carol showed up and asked the woman why she wasn’t in training. The flustered look on Natasha’s face was worth the sight of Rogers being fawned over.

For the past hour Tony had been in the utility closet, which was more like a small room, inspecting computer boards and fixing any issues from wear and tear. He wasn’t about to release his latest baby boy into an unclean environment. So, it was no wonder he didn’t react to the door opening, nor person entering until a large cup of coffee set itself down on the desk. He jerked, nearly dropping his tablet and the hologram above him faltering as a result.

Wanda Maximoff took a step back, wrapping her arms around her waist and giving him a careful look. “I thought you heard me.”

“Don’t you have mind powers to tell that sort of thing?” Tony said, trying for a teasing tone. He could barely tell if it worked, the idea of them being friendly was lost on him. He glanced at the coffee, realizing in his haste to get away from Natasha he had forgot to request his usual cup earlier.

“I’m...shying away from those for now or at least trying,” she said, shrugging. “They had to bring in some leader in magic or something, a Dr Stephen Strange to help me, no one else really could. I had no idea my magic was leaking my emotions everywhere, Strange showed me how it was, and we are working on controlling it as well.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Tony wished he could say his voice was deep and strong, but she was touching on things that had hurt him more than he would like to admit even to himself. It had made things worth hurting just hurt more. 

“Because I spent most of my life hating you, and letting the justified anger of my people fuel it, and by the time Hydra turned it into what you saw it became? I had been so angry and hated you so much that I have no doubt that emotion rolled outward, in a way I didn’t realize was possible until Strange explained it,” Wanda, because Tony’s mind was viewing this as a completely different person, said.

Tony frowned, knowing how her environment had to help with that. He hated every reminder that his name was placed on bombs and guns meant for illegal wars. And he was sure his own tendency to plaster his name on everything he thought belonged to him hadn’t helped her adjust to a new way of thinking.

“Stark,” Wanda said, stepping closer. “I’m here to apologize. Even as a kid I had difficulty with collecting my thoughts. I kept that trait, all to today. But even in that difficulty the way I treated you, I am ashamed of because I know my brother would have already stripped me down for my behavior. Some of it wasn’t intentional, but it’s no excuse.”

Tony reached out and picked up the cup of coffee, taking a sip to find she had added a dash of sugar and cinnamon to it. He only did that on his heavy thinking days. Considering most of what she had seen of him had been the days he needed a little extra sweetness, because he’d already been up a day saving the world, it made sense that she would assume that was his normal way to take his coffee. He looked up at her, meeting her eyes for the first time. “There’s nothing I admire more than someone taking a second chance and being serious about it. Apology accepted, Wanda.”

“I would ask then, alpha, if you would pass on a message?” Wanda asked, head bowed and tilted. It was the traditional way for an alpha to defer to another alpha, which was another reminder of the strict environment Wanda grew up in even with Hydra getting their fingers on her.

“If I can,” Tony said.

“Tell Barnes that I never meant for Steve to act that way,” Wanda said, eyes sad. “Strange agrees that what I did shouldn’t have caused an actual bond, or a shade of one.”

“I’ll tell him,” Tony replied.

“Is he happy?” Wanda asked.

“Bucky?” Tony asked, his face blossoming into a smile against his will. He saw the way Wanda’s face softened at his reaction.

“Pietro was always a headstrong and proud omega. But a warrior by necessity. Much like Bucky,” Wanda said, smiling a smile that held more emotion that Tony had ever seen on her. “What little I saw of Barnes, I also saw my brother. Pietro would be making me a laughingstock right now for being slow on the uptake.”

“I wish I actually got to know him, because how much I heard his sass annoying Hawkeye over the comms? That’s talent,” Tony returned.

Wanda chuckled. She was silent a moment, before backing toward the door. “I believe we have some understanding, Stark?”

“Yeah, we do,” Tony said, picking the coffee cup up again. “And it’s Tony.”

After that, his work seemed to come more quickly for him. While the conversation with Wanda had not been what he had expected, her behavior had an honesty to it that had never been present before. Deciding it was best to at least consider accepting his change of opinion and leave his full reaction for another day, Tony looked over at his personal computer, “Friday? We good to start upload?”

“Yes, Boss, last security scan showed clean,” Friday replied.

“Not sure how staticky your connection to us will be, but it shouldn’t be long,” Tony replied. He leaned back and watched the hologram in front of him swirl and dance. 

*

Tony was home and heading for the kitchen, tugging at his tie, much later that he thought he would be. His brain was a fog, codes taking up most of his brain. Remembering his promise, and feeling the slow uncurl of the early stages of arousal in his stomach about the idea of seeing Bucky naked and wet in a shower, Tony opened up the fridge and began removing ingredients for the pasta. He could hear Bucky moving around in their room and the steady scent that told him Bucky had spent most of his day there. Bucky’s obvious seclusion, and there having been no alternatives for the man, could be seen in how Bucky moved slower, like depression was threatening to take over.

Tony felt Bucky’s arm wrap around his waist before he even heard Bucky’s near-silent shuffle into the kitchen. “Missed you, doll.”

He turned from the food in order to press a kiss against the corner of the man’s mouth. “Good evening, pasta cooking as promised.”

“And the other thing?” Bucky asked, blushing bright red.

“Not if you’re scared,” Tony teased. “But, I want to pamper you and washing that very attractive body of yours seems like a splendid idea. Not to mention, it’ll help us get used to the naked part. As fun as clothes on clothes action is, we’re grown adults and humping like teenagers is only going to satisfy us so long.”

Bucky glanced down, then seemed to drag his gaze up Tony’s body in a way that made the man look hungry. “Yeah, we can do that.”

“Yeah?” Tony asked with a grin. “Does that mean you need to be cleaned, Mister Barnes? Were you a dirty boy today?”

“I might have some dirt smudged from the roof and sweat from a run,” Bucky offered, his awkward try at this level of teasing making him even more adorable as far as Tony was concerned. 

“Did you still want to eat first?” Tony asked, changing the subject when Bucky’s face had become the color of the tomatoes sitting on the counter. He grabbed a knife and handed it over to Bucky, watching with amusement as the man seemed to relax the moment he had something sharp in his hands. “You can cut the tomatoes.”

He stared at the swift movement of Bucky’s knife, before turning back to the pan in front of him and stirring around the sliced chicken. They worked in a comfortable silence as Tony started boiling water for the pasta and Bucky grabbed more vegetables from the fridge to make a side salad. Tony smiled to himself, wishing this was what he came home to every day. Eventually they were sitting across from one another at the small kitchen table, Tony making Bucky blush some more by taking off his shoes and slipping his sock covered foot along Bucky’s inner ankle. There was a soft silence to the dinner that made Tony’s mind finally settle, the layers of numbers and codes in his head going away to more clear thought.

“I have good news,” he said, picking up their empty plates and walking around the island to place them in the sink for later. He turned back to see Bucky nervously watching him, his eyes darting briefly to the hallway that lead to the bathroom. Tony walked over and tugged Bucky into standing. He slowly started backing Bucky up, angling them for the halfway. “Someone’s leash is loosening.”

“What?” Bucky asked in a half-laugh, grabbing Tony’s hip when he back bumped into the bathroom door jamb. 

“I had an email waiting for me when I was done at the Compound,” Tony said, opening the sliding glass door for the shower and hitting a few buttons on the small control screen. The shower started and Tony turned back to Bucky, backing him up against the counter for the second time that day. “The parole board is granting you very limited outdoor time. You can go to the post office or Rebecca’s with Peter, or Central Park with the two of us, or an Avenger in replacement of one of us.”

“Why only Peter for the post office and Rebecca?” Bucky asked, half distracted by Tony’s hands slowly sliding up his shirt, thumbs rubbing small circles in his skin.

“Part of that was the retirement home’s own negotiations,” Tony said. “I don’t know what your sister’s nurse told the parole board, but it was enough for them to be certain you’d behave yourself. As for the post office, well, that’s a quick four blocks to walk there and back, isn’t it?”

“Hmm, so I can go check my mail tomorrow,” Bucky said with a smile, which turned into a grin when Tony kissed his cheek.

“Yes, yes, you old man,” Tony replied, lifting Bucky’s shirt until Bucky allowed him to pull it off. “Come on, Snowflake, I want you naked.”

Bucky chuckled, grabbing the back of Tony’s head to tug him into a deep kiss. Tony moaned, opening his mouth to Bucky’s tongue. He dragged his hand down Bucky’s stomach, the feel of his muscles pulling another moan from him. He felt fingers fumbling with the buttons of his business shirt and quickly moved to help Bucky pull it open, his excitement resulting in one of the buttons popping off and hitting the counter. 

“Sorry,” Bucky mumbled, dragging his lips across Tony’s cheek to bite at his earlobe. 

Tony just moaned again, throwing his shirt to the ground and reaching for Bucky’s jeans. He felt Bucky tense, more from nerves than fear, as he popped open the top button, letting the tips of his fingers slide an inch into his waistline. “You okay?”

“Yes,” Bucky replied, quickly nodding his head. His voice was low, almost raw, “Very, very okay.”

Tony wanted to say something, about how gorgeous Bucky was and how Tony couldn’t even begin to compare. But Bucky didn’t give him any time to worry about whether his age was showing, because the man pressed in and kissed him hard, his one hand sliding along his skin. Before Tony could think past the tongue in his mouth and the desperate, aroused taste of Bucky coating his senses, he felt Bucky pulling at his pants, shoving both them and his boxer briefs down. Tony kicked them away, letting out a whine when Bucky’s hand slid along his spine, to cup his ass. 

“Shit, you are so over dressed,” Tony breathed out, fumbling like a teenager with Bucky’s jeans. The man didn’t aide him at all, too busy kissing the life out of Tony. He didn’t care, because feeling Bucky going commando as the jeans dropped made Tony’s eyes cross, and he had to grab Bucky’s hips just to help control himself. “Fuck, okay, shower, now.”

“Wait,” Bucky said, suddenly dropping down to one knee. 

Tony was pretty sure he went as hard as a rock at the sight of Bucky on his knees before him. Bucky glanced up, clearly noticing his erection, before swallowing and reaching down to grab Tony’s foot. Tony felt his own face flush when he realized in his haste he had completely forgot he had been wearing socks. He opened his mouth to say something self-mocking, but the gentle hold Bucky had on him and the slow way he was removing those socks sent a rush of pure alpha desire through him.

It took all of Tony’s control to not just grab Bucky when he stood and bend him over the counter. Breathing in deep, he grabbed Bucky’s hand instead and pulled him into the shower. He pushed Bucky into the near-hot stream of water, watching the way it wet his hair, beads of water rolling over his shoulders and down the front of his chest. It was then Tony became fully aware of just how similar the two of them were, as their chests were a map of scars telling a horror story.

Tony leaned in and kissed the largest scar, the one along Bucky’s shoulder where the metal arm had been ripped off. He felt a tremble go through Bucky at the touch. Smiling, Tony continued across Bucky’s chest, kissing every scar. Bucky’s hand cupped his cheek, tilting his head up and kissing him softly. Their eyes met and Tony’s smile widened. “You are so beautiful.”

Bucky swallowed and carefully placed his hand on Tony’ chest, palm resting over his rebuilt sternum. “Could say the same about you.”

“We do make a handsome couple, don’t we?” Tony said, grinning to lighten the mood. He scanned his eyes down Bucky’s body, not even hiding the raise of his eyebrows as he glanced at Bucky’s partial erection, before pausing on Bucky’s calf. “You really did play in the dirt today, huh?”

“There was a bush, hiding behind the others that was out of room to grow, I had to climb in to get to it,” Bucky said, an expression daring Tony to tell him otherwise.

“Hand me the body wash,” Tony said, reaching for the loofah. Then, after getting the loofah full of suds, he bent down in the opposite of Bucky’s earlier position and began cleaning Bucky’s foot. He heard a thump and looked up to see Bucky’s hand had pressed hard into the tile wall, causing cracks to appear. “You okay?”

“Yes,” Bucky hissed out, eyes staring down at him intently. “I wasn’t expecting you to do something so…”

“Submissive?” Tony filled in, gently cleaning off the dirt that had managed to cling to Bucky’s calf. He slid a soapy hand up, wrapping it around Bucky’s inner thigh, watching as the man sucked in a sharp breath. “Told ya, Snowflake, I’m in no rush to pin you to a surface outside your heat, okay? And even then, only if you want me to.”

“I will want that,” Bucky replied in a deep voice, his gaze continuing to grow in intensity. “I can’t help it, I enjoy seeing you down there like that, all soft and caring. I…”

“Makes you want to pin me down, doesn’t it?” Tony asked in a whisper, knowing Bucky heard him over the spray of water. The low, happy rumble that emitted from Bucky’s chest told Tony all he needed to know of what Bucky was feeling right then, because Tony could recognize the signs of an alpha enjoying attention. He set the loofah to the side and leaned in, resting his cheek on Bucky’s thigh as he gazed up at him. He could tell Bucky was barely holding on to what little control he had, so Tony nuzzled against Bucky bare and wet thigh. “It’s okay. I want to give that to you.”

Before Tony could even blink, he had Bucky’s strong arm under his, hauling him up so that he could be pressed against the tile wall. Tony gasped at the cold against his back, before the sudden heat of Bucky’s body blanketing him in the front distracted him from any discomfort. He could feel Bucky hard against his stomach and couldn’t help the small whine he let out, which Bucky showed his appreciation for with a decidedly wicked hip roll.

“Oh fuck,” Tony let out, letting his head drop back and accepting the hard, intense kiss Bucky decided to bestow on him. 

Things moved at a blur at that point as Bucky seemed intent on driving Tony absolutely insane, dominating his mouth and using that one overly strong arm to hold Tony in place so effectively, Tony had to agree with Bucky’s thought that he didn’t need a second one at all. All Tony could do was moan and wrap one leg around Bucky’s hip, trying to match the ferocious and in charge pace Bucky had set, their trapped erections pressed against one another as Bucky moved.

Tony could feel himself winding up, knew he was going to orgasm, and it was going to probably knock him for a loop. Bucky’s mouth left his, allowing the near embarrassing sounds he was making to fill the shower, almost drowning out the running water. He felt teeth at his jugular and couldn’t help tilting his head almost painfully, giving Bucky as much room as possible. “Yes, yes, please. Fuck, yeah, Snowflake you are so fucking perfect, owning me like this. Come on, I know you want to bite me.”

Bucky’s thrusts somehow got more violent, nearly ramming Tony into the wall with each move of his body. It was too much, just the forceful friction of their erections against each other and the sudden sharp press of teeth biting into his neck. He felt more than heard the growl rush through him, right as they both reached orgasm. Tony, for a moment, felt pulled in too many directions, both wanting to praise and punish the omega in front of him for essentially dominating his alpha

He felt a growl build up, despite how weak his body felt from the power of the orgasm, but before he could allow that pure alpha nature to get too worked up Bucky was kissing him lightly. He watched, eyes half-lidded, as Bucky smoothly dropped to his knees while using his one hand on his stomach to press Tony into the wall. It was clear the simple hold was helping Bucky not topple over post-orgasm as much as Tony.

Then Bucky was leaning in, nuzzling just below his belly-button. Tony felt a pleased sound escape him, his hand reaching out to push a bit of wet hair off Bucky’s forehead just before Bucky turned his gaze to the come that hadn’t fully washed off from the small amount of water reaching them. Bucky leaned in closer and Tony had to close his eyes in order to control himself as Bucky began licking his skin clean.

“Oh god, baby, please, come here,” Tony whispered in a raw tone, grabbing at Bucky’s shoulder. “You are so damn perfect, how are you so fucking perfect?”

Tony kissed him, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s strong torso. Bucky pulled back and looked at him, biting his own lip. “I’m sorry if I-”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Tony snapped, before immediately softening his tone. “I’ll admit, a part of me wondered if I’d be able to just let you take control like that, but damn. Yeah, I’m so on board with that. We’ll worry about penetration later down the road, cause I can definitely live happy with this.”

Bucky blushed, which Tony found adorable considering they were still naked in the shower post-orgasm. “You liked it?”

“Oh yeah,” Tony purred, tugging Bucky down for another kiss. “Now how about we go celebrate our deliciously perfect sex life with a cuddle and a movie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, look, horny goodness BEFORE SHIT HITS THE FAN. All the warning you're getting. 😘


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than usual, but I felt it had to pause here.

“You have seen the sun before, right?” Peter asked, before squinting up at the sun in question. “Is it the same one?”

“Brat,” Bucky replied, ruffling the boy’s hair. 

“I can’t believe we can only go to the post office,” Peter said in a whine. “Can we at least stop for a bagel on the way back?”

“Sure,” Bucky replied, “as long as it’s the one by the Tower. I’m not going to mess this up again, Peter. You have to understand, I can’t go back to being locked away in a tower like a-”

“Princess?” Peter provided. He grinned when Bucky nodded. “Not all of them are weaklings. Ohhh, you haven’t seen the new Disney movies, huh? This afternoon I’m ignoring my homework, and we are watching Tangled, Brave, and...oh, man, Frozen is so up your alley.”

“Sure thing, kid,” Bucky replied, chuckling at Peter’s enthusiasm. It was easy to do with Peter’s bright smile shooting his way as they made their way to the post office. It didn’t seem like much, the post office was as dreary today as it was in his time, but it was a sort of freedom he had been needing. “So, you’re cleared to stay with us for the weekend.”

“Aunt May got all dramatic about you guys replacing her, but then she immediately went all sappy about how she’s happy I have a good omega and alpha role model in my life, so I can see what a good relationship is like,” Peter admitted, blushing slightly. “Cause you guys are pretty awesome together.”

Bucky had never viewed himself as a role model before, but looking around even on the street they were walking he could see why Peter looked up to him. He could easily identify the difference between the couples walking past and the way Tony was with him. Watching as one omega made a point to stay three feet exactly from her chosen alpha, Bucky could fully understand Aunt May not wanting Peter to think that’s okay behavior. 

“You’re a bit special, Peter,” Bucky said, barely pausing to allow himself to hesitate. “Any alpha worth your weight needs to see that. There’s no reason you should have an alpha doting on your every need, because it’s what you deserve.”

They entered the small post office, the old age of the building clear in every detail. Peter followed him around the corner to the P.O. Boxes, biting his lip in thought. “Is that how you feel, like Tony dotes on you?"

Bucky hesitated, unsure of how much he should say. He looked around, finding the room empty except a woman at the end of the hall muttering to herself as she shuffled through her mail. He reached out and grabbed Peter’s arm, tugging him closer. “I’m not exactly all omega, Peter.”

“I know.” Peter let out a heavy breath. “It’s just, with all this strength and these senses, I... I am an omega, but I don’t have the strength and stuff of one. I'm sometimes reacting...differently than I should, I guess.”

“Peter, how many omegas out there do you know that have been bitten by a radioactive spider?” Bucky asked in a casual tone, smirking when Peter scowled at him. “You’re not going to be a normal omega, Peter. No more than I’m not, just for completely and probably more natural reasons.”

“I’m not going to find an alpha like Tony Stark,” Peter said, sounding sad. Bucky opened up his mailbox, barely paying attention to the six letters he pulled out. Peter rested against the wall of boxes and sighed. “Ned is being weird, again.”

“How so?” Bucky asked, forcing the hint of amusement out of his voice. Peter and Ned’s relationship was always a source of dramatic teenage amusement. He began skimming the names on the envelope, seeing Rebecca’s name over and over again.

“He’s just. You know what, never mind,” Peter said, just as his phone started ringing. He held it up, “Hello? Hello? Okay, seriously, Ned, stop being a big baby and tell me what’s going on.”

Bucky watched as Peter began pacing, ranting into the phone, before the boy pulled it away from his ear and frowned. “Problem?”

“The reception is horrible, it cut us off,” Peter grumbled. He squinted over at Bucky, obviously thinking. “Do you mind if I step outside, usually the reception is better over on the next street. Maybe I can wait for you behind the building?”

“That’s fine,” Bucky replied with a smile easily turning back to his letters as Peter quickly walked to the door, holding his phone up in some weird attempt to make it work better. Humming to himself, Bucky opened up the oldest letter dated after his first visit to Rebecca, determined to give Peter whatever space his possibly needed. He narrowed his eyes at what looked to be an apology from Rebecca about Steve and a strong warning to let Tony research the man further before holding more faith in him.

Bucky felt his stomach drop, realizing that if he had gotten this letter then he would have been fully prepared for what Tony showed him and would have been more open to the idea that Steve had done those things. Swallowing down the nerves, Bucky was determined to read the rest later, so he would be able to truly speak about it to his little sister his next visit. Ignoring any other thoughts on that, he shuffled through the letters again as he headed for the door. He pushed through the door and into the sunlight just as he saw the name on one of the letters that he somehow missed: Steve Rogers.

His immediate reaction was to look around him, despite knowing there was no one near for him to recognize. He quickly shoved Rebecca’s letters into his jacket before opening the small envelope. He ripped part of the single page inside in his haste and let the envelope fall to the ground as he leaned against the wall of the building.

‘Till the end of the line. I’ll see you around the bend.’

That was all that was there and a sudden rush of panic surged through him. He started walking, trying to believe nothing was actually wrong. Steve didn’t know when he was getting freedom again, but the fact that Peter had headed in that very direction was enough to cause him to pick up speed. He didn’t bother to apologize to the two people he practically knocked over, a strange pulsing awareness hitting him much like it did on a hunt for a target.

He was around the building, his panic slowly turning into rage, just in time to see Peter on the ground. There was blood on his temple, which his sight zeroed in on immediately. He rushed forward to check on him, when strong arms wrapped around him. Before Bucky could even begin to fight he felt a pinprick on his neck.

“I’m sorry, Bucky,” Steve's voice was soft, distant as whatever drug it was slowly began taking effect. He felt himself droop. Steve held him up, mouth against his ear as color briefly flared bright. “He’ll be fine. But it’s okay, I have you. I’ll always have you.”

*

Tony was bored beyond belief as Pepper led the top members of his company through their paces. He was there for the image, to show he backed every decision she made. He did his job, sitting straight with his alpha gaze judging them all. Pepper was too smart for these idiots, but then Tony had always thought so. Eventually, he was free to go with a simple order from his beta queen to go back to his office and view some of the new R&D reports. 

“Melissa, right?” he asked as he passed by his receptionist, who looked a little too happy to see him. 

“Yes, sir,” she practically chirped. Her fingers twitched over her keyboard, before she gave in and said, “Thank you, for letting me go home that day.”

It took him a moment to remember that conversation with Rogers and urging her to go see her omega. Chuckling, he said, “Yeah, no problem.”

“No, sir, you don’t understand. I went home and...we bonded,” she said, blushing bright red. “He was, uh, very accepting of my intensity. I got that with him, because you sent me home, and I saw how you were yourself...so, thanks.”

Tony broke into a rare wide smile, one that his employees hardly ever saw. “Congrats.”

“Was, uh, there anything you needed?” Melissa asked. 

“No, just only send through the critical calls, okay?” Tony said, heading for the main office door. “Otherwise, I’m going to be knee-deep in idiocy labelled as brilliance.”

“I wish it goes swiftly, then,” she commented, just as his door shut closed. He was really starting to like this new receptionist.

He got through four reports, sending back mocking comments to encourage better results the whole while. It was at the fifth one that he began to feel oddly energetic. It made no sense, there wasn’t really much he could do in his office. He kept working, his eyes darting around the room the entire time like something was just plain wrong. Then the phone rang. 

“Sir, it’s the Compound,” Melissa informed him, sounding breathless like she had just went through a verbal marathon before sending the call over. “Line 1.”

Tony quickly hit the button, drawing in air to try to calm down, because the too much energy feeling was already starting to turn into panic. “Tony here.”

“Tony,” Carol’s voice wasn’t the balm it was usually, instead it was wound tight like a string. “Rogers is missing.”

There was a crash and Tony blinked, shocked to see he had flung his keyboard across the room in a fit of too much energy and anger and worry. “Where is my bonded?”

“I’m assuming he’s where you left him,” Carol said in a strong alpha voice. It was enough to calm him down a few degrees, but not enough to slow the building rage he could feel inside himself. “Tony, Rogers went missing an hour ago. I wasn’t allowed to tell you until now, because he hasn’t done anything wrong. But I got permission to ask you for help finding him.”

Tony felt a dead kind of calm come over him, which was more worrying than the rage. “I’ve been feeling off for about thirty minutes.”

“Shit,” Carol hissed, her growl sounding almost overwhelming over the phone. “He was with Peter? Of course, he was. I’ll send some agents to look for Peter, it’ll help us get closer. He’s underage, so to rush the process will be acceptable.”

“I…” Tony started, feeling completely useless. “They went to the post office, to get the letters Rebecca had sent him.”

“Right,” Carol cleared her throat. “I’m sending Rhodes and Maximoff, if that’s okay with you.”

“No, yes, if Wanda feels she’s ready,” Tony said, his voice sounding distant to his own ears. “I’ll meet them there.”

“Tony,” Carol said, her tony pure alpha and pure leader. It was enough to bring him back, to focus. “We’ll get this settled.”

“Sure,” Tony said, standing and not even bothering to hang up as he began storming out of the office. He kept moving, fingering the cuff on his wrist, fighting the urge to just bring in the armor and destroy a window in the process of getting out. He saw Melissa, her face pale and worried, but didn’t take the time to stop. No, he had to get to a safe place to use as a landing pad, where no one could get hit by the suit flying to him.

Silently he stalked through the building to the break room. Ignoring all his underlings, he rushed to the small balcony, throwing the doors open in a flourish. Hardly noticing those there for their early lunch, he called the suit to him and, as Iron Man, he flew straight to the last place he knew he bonded was.

*

The first thing Bucky was aware of was feeling sick, a sluggish kind of illness in his very muscles that made it impossible to move. He heard movement near him and could smell something that could only be considered old and filled with decay. He tried to open his eyes, but when it made the earth spin he let out a moan and clenched his eyes back closed, fighting the way the room practically rolled underneath him.

“Shh, Bucky,” he heard a voice say. Strong fingers ran through his hair, which he tried to twitch away from. “It’s okay, I know. Not the best location, but this is all that’s left of it.”

More time passed, Bucky wasn’t sure how much, before he was finally able to open his eyes. The room he found himself in was obviously no longer in use and hadn’t been for a while. There was barely any furniture and half of what was left had began to decay years ago. He tried to sit up, before realizing the drug in his veins was still in effect. Panic tried, and failed due to the pure lack of energy, to rush through him as he realized how weak and vulnerable he was.

“Hey, you look more aware,” the same voice from before said. Bucky heard someone walking, coming closer. “Natasha wasn’t sure on the dose, with us being the super soldiers we are. I know it was dangerous, giving you something like that, but she said it was a potent version of what they used in the Red Room. Which, hey, you kind of helped create.”

“Ste-” Bucky tried, before coughing as his throat disagreed with him. Steve’s words literally made no sense, he had no memory of a room of red and the drug was threatening to make him dry heave.

“Here, water,” Steve said.

Bucky accepted the water, sipping from the bottle, knowing he had no other choice at this point. He still didn’t feel up to talking, but at least now he could see Steve kneeling in front of him. The man had a look of utter adoration on his face, but Bucky now knew better than to believe that just as it came. The way Steve was looking at him brought back that emotion from before in the jet, after they had landed at the Compound and Bucky let Steve know he was leaving. A sense of wariness flowed through him. 

“I’m sorry I had to drug you,” Steve said, letting out a sigh like he was already blaming someone else. “I couldn’t let you stay with him any longer. You’ll thank me in the end, trust me.”

“Steve,” Bucky rasped out, just talking sending him into another coughing fit.

“Hey, stop,” Steve insisted, sounding worried as he came closer. “We need you to rest up, okay. I need to get him off of you. Bucky, God, his has his bite on you. I’ll do what I can, okay? You’ll be mine again, don’t worry.”

Bucky felt Steve touch the bonding mark Tony had left on him and some strange shock of lightning and rage went through him. He shoved Steve’s hand away. “Don’t you even dare, Rogers.”

“Bucky, you don’t understand what he did,” Steve said, sounding more like he was trying to explain why the sky was blue to a toddler. “He took you away from me. But I’m getting you back, you’ll see. I know this isn’t the best place, but it’s where you used to live. I wish they had taken care of it, like a war hero deserved, so I could bring you back to some place beautiful, like you and your family always gave me.”

Bucky took a look around again, suddenly recognizing the walls and the small fireplace. He knew that the hallway led to the kitchen and two bedrooms. One had been made his after he presented, before teen hood he had shared with his sister. His sister joined his mother after that, but then omegas sharing a bed was normal after the age of sexual development. Bucky flinched, thinking of what Tony’s outright views and Rebecca’s small hints had told him. About the letter that probably was still in his jacket.

“Steve… what did you do to my sister?” Bucky asked, turning his full gaze on the man sitting against his hip and ignoring the way his words sounded slurred even to him.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, looking confused.

“My sister, Steve,” Bucky growled, trying to sit up despite the drug induced dizziness. The rolling of nausea sent him toppling back, only Steve’s hand keeping him from his head on the floor hard. It didn’t stop him from trying to stare Steve down, trying to get some kind of answer.

“Why are you so upset?” Steve asked, the look of confusion still there. “I didn’t do anything she didn’t want. She responded, Bucky. She responded.”

*

Tony set down in the small alley behind the post office, immediately retracting the suit when he saw Peter sitting next to Wanda and fully awake. He rushed forward, fully ignoring whatever protocol they were supposed to be following in order to pull his kid into his arms. Peter immediately began crying the moment Tony’s arms wrapped around him.

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault,” Peter said, his voice now more sobbing that any actual word. Peter’s hands grabbed onto Tony’s biceps, his superior strength definitely leaving bruises.

“No, no,” Tony hushed, tucking Peter’s head into his neck and letting the boy get caught up in scenting him. He looked up at Wanda, face hard, “Well?”

“No magic was used,” she said, her gaze stuck on the way Peter was pressing his face into Tony’s neck. She drew in a sharp breath, clearly pulling herself out of her own memories of Pietro, and looked around. “We found a letter to Bucky, leading him back here. It would have been mailed a few days ago. I might have been a big fan of the man for a bit, but even I know Rogers wouldn’t know enough to time things that well.”

“He wouldn’t,” a voice piped up. It was then Tony even realized Rhodey was there in his War Machine suit. Tony tucked Peter’s smaller body even closer to himself before looking up at Rhodey’s face appearing through the suit’s lifted face plate. “But a certain spy would. Natasha hasn’t been seen either, and she has had plenty of free roam.”

“Yes,” Wanda said, before Tony had a moment to think on it. “She’s been the only one sticking to Rogers. Even Clint has practically walked away from him. I understand her trauma of that red place she speaks of, but she holds no value to her status as alpha. There is no protective instinct in her. She has no need to feel the sick left after harming an omega or betraying others because she feels she’s above such bonds.”

“Shit, if she’s in league it’s going to be hard to find them,” Rhodey admitted. There was a moment of silence, before Rhodey let out a frustrated sound. “We need to get you two close enough to them.”

“We don’t know where they are, so how will that help?” Tony snapped.

“Rogers,” and it was a little weird to hear Wanda reference him that way, “is always about how much he emulates his past. He is what they created, then. He’s going to take Barnes back to where he thinks Barnes’ safest place was then.”

“Well, you’ve been doing BARF with him. Any ideas?” Rhodey asked Tony, obviously willing to go with anything that would get them closer.

Tony eased Peter’s hold off of him and gently guided the distressed omega to Wanda. “Get him to safety. I don’t care if you use mojo, but make sure he feels safe until this is over. Please.”

“Your omega child will be fully under my safety,” Wanda said, doing the same head-tilt to bare her neck. It was a clear signal she would guard Peter with her life, one that Tony only instinctively recognized. A small, tiny part of Tony promised to remember to give her an education on America’s ways of doing alpha signs of loyalty, which were less formal, but right then he was just thankful.

Tony kissed Peter’s temple and by the way the boy’s eyes were watching him, Tony knew he was paying attention. “I’m going to get Bucky, okay?”

“I’m going to help Wanda find the other spider,” Peter hissed, his voice raw from crying.

Tony glanced up at Wanda, noting the raised eyebrow and sparks at her fingertips. Something in him settled, allowing him to focus, because he knew right then that Wanda was willing to protect Peter no matter what Peter got up to. He cupped Peter’s face, forcing the boy to look him in the eye. “I trust you to stay safe, do you understand me?

“Yes,” Peter whispered.

“And you will let Wanda keep you safe, so if she says no? Or to run?” Tony ordered, letting a growl enter his voice.

“Wanda will keep me safe,” Peter repeated. He looked up at the woman. “Right?”

“Yes,” Wanda said, her voice so intense in its certainty that a ripple of red sparks appeared in her hair. “Peter, I will protect you or die.”

“I don’t want you to die!”

Wanda chuckled and turned to Tony. “I see why you love him. Don’t worry, Peter will be safe.”

Peter had an expression on his face, like he was about to roll his eyes. Then he looked back at Tony and bit his lip. “I know who to contact to find the Black Widow. But, you did tell me to avoid encouraging him.”

Tony glanced at Wanda, seeing her pure determination to prove herself, and smiled. “Fine, this one time you can bring in Deadpool. But no dead bodies, or Wanda brings in him in for questioning and de-masking.”

“I don’t know if he’ll agree to that, but okay,” Peter said. 

*

“Steve, stop!” Bucky yelled, shoving Steve’s hands away. Steve had got it into his head that Bucky wasn’t clean and while Bucky had been willing to sit through being sponged bathed, just to keep the peace as he had no other option, going for the belt was too much. “Seriously, stop.”

Steve chuckled. “I see you’re getting your strength back. I don’t know why you’re so scared, I’ve seen it before. But then you were an alpha then…”

Bucky smelt the hint of arousal in the air as Steve kept looking at him without actually touching. Bucky wanted nothing more than to tell Steve in explicit detail how he was very much still an alpha, how he had felt an alpha bend to his touch and tremble from his actions and his control, but he knew it would enrage the man. He couldn’t deny the idea was tempting, to just throw what he had found with Tony in his face, but Bucky’s inability to fully defend himself made him cut off that thought. “Steve, you gotta stop this. What are you going to do? You already admitted to raping my sister, you going to rape me too?”

Steve looked startled. “I didn’t. That’s not what that was and not what is happening here. She responded, damn it. It’s in the law, Bucky, when an omega responds. Don’t make it what it wasn’t. Nothing illegal happened.”

“She had an intended and an intent to bond mark,” Bucky hissed, jerking back when Steve reached out to touch him. “I read the news article and the police report. Back then it might have been considered legal to do that to an omega in heat. My mother was considered abandoned by war, leaving it legal back then. But my sister’s intended lived three streets down, and you raped her.”

“Bucky,” Steve said softly, like he was trying to calm a child. Or a hysterical omega.

“No,” Bucky growled, trying to push past the utter weakness in his limbs. He’d crawl out of here if he had to. “I didn’t want to believe it, what Tony said about it being you. But it was.”

Steve’s expression grew sad, but it looked strange, almost like he was having to work toward faking it. “She has your face, Bucky. Your jaw, your ears, even her scent is similar in a way. How could I not seek comfort while you were away from me? This is why omegas don’t go to war, you know.”

“I’m not and never was your omega.” Bucky felt wetness on his face, and it took him a second to realize he was crying, hard. Steve’s hand landed on his thigh, the very thigh Tony had pressed his face against in a moment of playful enjoyment. Steve’s fingers began massaging, his hand inching upward as he did. Bucky tried moving away. He really did, but it was more like a dull wiggle or flail. Whatever drug that had been given to him made him completely useless.

He was officially a doll, with only his voice as a defense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had to pause the chapter here because continuing would have made the rest of the story much farther out.
> 
> The Talk of Rape that happens in here isn't pleasant, that's why I tagged this story from the beginning as a "Rape/Non-Con" tag. Here's the thing. I've been raped. My first boyfriend would only have sex with me when I was out of it, so that was weed or beer or eventually being punched or slapped around. I was 23, I had no coping skills, I grew up in a mention sex & get told that only the two people involved can discuss it. So I lived with that for a year. I ran away, literally, to another state. Came back five months later cause college was "resident" under parents up here, and was simply raped, no "relationship" excuse because I broke up with him.
> 
> I'm telling that story because I want you to know I understand that this shit is probably real to you as well. Even if it's not the same, even if you think it's not so bad, we are survivors. And I love you for being a strong man/woman/gender queer(that was the term when I was a teen) for sitting there and being like, I'm here. I love that I'm here.
> 
> And now that I said that, I've got some crazy more horrific stuff to write for the next chapter.


	21. Chapter 21

“Steve, please stop,” Buck said, trying to keep his voice soft in hopes that would get the man to listen to him. He pushed at Steve’s chest, hating how weak he still felt and how well Steve’s body was blocking his view of the rest of the room. He felt Steve kiss his temple, fingers brushing his hair back. The man seemed to be simply surrounding himself with Bucky’s scent...or trying to replace it with his own. “I need some air, Steve.”

Steve sighed, pulling back, keeping his fingers entwined in Bucky’s hair. “You seem to be getting stronger.”

“Which is good,” a voice piped up as heeled footsteps echoed from the hallway. Natasha Romanoff rounded the corner, her face tense as she scanned Bucky’s body, taking in the way he flinched as Steve continued to touch him. “You’re going to have to move.”

“What? You said we’d be fine here,” Steve growled. “He can barely shift a leg, you gave him too much of that crap.”

“Technically, you gave it to him,” she said. “I’m only here to warn you, Stark is on the hunt, and he’s got help. It won’t be long before he finds you two. If you want to keep him, you need to find a better place to hide until he’s mobile enough to get out of town.”

“Steve, what the hell, I’m not going anywhere,” Bucky snapped, trying for not the first time to sit up. Steve slid his hand down and pressed against his chest, pushing him back onto the blankets Steve had laid out for him. “Steve, come on, this is insane.”

“I need to get Tony off of him,” Steve said, ignoring Bucky’s attempts to catch his attention. “I was hoping I’d have time for him to go into heat, then I could start erasing the bond. But that’s...a slow process and I don’t know if we have that kind of time.”

“Forcing a break in the bond could be fast, but the stress on the heart could kill him, or permanently damage him despite the super serum,” Romanoff commented.

“He shouldn’t hurt any more than Tony has already done to him,” Steve told her, a fierce expression passing over his face. “With a heat I can at least ensure he’s enjoying himself and replace it with something wonderful.”

Bucky forced himself to hold his tongue, listening in horror at their conversation and the way they talked like Bucky wasn’t even present. He watched, fighting down nausea, as Romanoff rolled her eyes and gave Steve a fond look before saying, “Let’s get him to another location and, if it’s safe enough, I can give him something to help with that. But I’m not letting him go into heat here, not with so many eyes searching for us. Stark will be able to find him in a second.”

They were talking about inducing a heat, forcing him to enter that foggy, fevered state of need. Only instead of Tony, his bonded and the only person who should be allowed to touch him like that, it would be Steve. Bucky looked up, eyes meeting the man who should have been his best friend. He knew he had tears in his eyes, he couldn’t hold up a strong face forever. Not with Steve’s hands on him, caressing and practically petting him like he was a dog. 

“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” Steve told him. “It’s going to be okay. Natasha’s right, we should get out of here. It was a bit of a dream, thinking this would be a safe place to take you. I’m sure Natasha has a place in mind, though.”

“Please, Steve, let me go home,” Bucky said, trying one last time to trigger some form of caring in the man.

“Bucky, I’m your home.”

Bucky could only glare in response, turning his head away. He felt Steve finally shift away and turn to Romanoff, asking her to keep an eye out while he went to the restroom. He immediately turned his gaze on her, watching as she tossed her red hair over her shoulder and sat down in the very spot Steve had left.

He reached up, grabbing her collar and yanking her down, but it was a useless move. His leg was jerking, trying to raise, when all he wanted was to knee her in the face. Instead, he growled at her and ignored the way she smirked in response. “Why are you doing this?”

Romanoff tilted her head, watching as Bucky let go of her. “We both know that we aren’t the type to understand family and the bonds that tie it together, Barnes. Steve has given me the only taste of family love outside of battle that I can remember. I plan to make him happy, and you will make him happy.”

“That’s kind of sick, being that devoted to a rapist,” Bucky hissed.

“A murderer devoted to a rapist? Doesn’t seem so far-fetched,” Romanoff replied. “Actually, knowing Steve had a dark side made him a bit easier to swallow. Don’t worry, he’s not going to hurt you.”

“Just rip me of my bond, rape me, and force me into hormonal servitude,” Bucky said.

Romanoff laughed. And it was at that moment that Bucky understood who he was looking at. He’d seen people be forced to do bad things, and he knew that Romanoff had spent her life following those types of orders. In fact there was an odd familiarity there that Bucky just couldn’t place. However, unlike the ones that ran from that life as fast as they could, Romanoff was too busy learning and calculating to ever actually leave.

And she had faked her way through SHIELD and the Avengers while watching. Oddly, she had latched onto Steve’s All-American, Big-Brother personality and was willing to see how it turned out, no matter how much damage it caused. Bucky shouldn’t have been surprised, as this was the woman who released the profiles of SHIELD and HYDRA agents onto the Internet, no doubt leading to the death of undercover agents doing good.

“This is not even good tactics. I’ll never adapt,” he tried again. “I don’t want to be with Steve.”

“Sometimes we don’t know what we want, and it’s going to hurt to change, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the best for us,” she replied.

*

“I understand, thank you,” Tony said, before hanging up the phone. He gave into temptation and let his head drop, forehead banging once on the table before him. A shuddering breath escaped him.

“Tones?” Rhodey asked. “Speak to me, man. What did the retirement home say?”

“They couldn’t patch me through to Rebecca,” Tony said, his voice muffled. Which was good, because he didn’t need Rhodey hearing how tired and close to breaking he was. “Rebecca had a heart attack. Well, an episode that basically means tiny heart attack. I can’t stress her with this, no matter how much it would help with finding Bucky. The woman is damn old.”

“Friday, any luck on the search?” Rhodey asked, looking up and giving Tony time to compose himself. 

“There are a number of documented locations where Rogers and Mister Barnes spent time in their youth. Many of which have been remodeled for commercial or other resident use,” Friday replied. “Those that remain consist of derelict locations that would be considered dangerous due to construction or possible health hazards.”

“Do you think that would stop him? Taking Bucky to some rundown building with toxic spores and falling beams everywhere?” Tony snapped, looking up with a growl.

“I’ve narrowed it down to five locations,” Friday said, sounding apologetic. “Boss, they were childhood friends, there are too many places to narrow it further. And only three of them are in Brooklyn.”

“It’s probably a former home or place they hung out,” Rhodey said.

“Which probably includes all of them,” Tony growled, standing. He didn’t complain when Rhodey guided him back into the chair. They had returned to the Tower when it became a reality that just having Tony run around Brooklyn would cause a panic. He was sending off pure alpha distress at this point. The fact that Rhodey was able to remain calm while next to him was only testament to how long the man had known him.

Tony tensed as the door opened, only to relax when Peter immediately rushed toward him. His omega scent did wonders to clear Tony’s head. He grabbed the boy, pressed his face into his chest and breathed in.

“Well, he looks like shit on a stick,” a voice commented. 

Peter pulled Tony’s head up to press against his neck when he started to growl, the pure omega-kid-mine scent immediately soothing him. “Deadpool, stop being an ass.”

“Just saying spider-boy,” Deadpool replied.

Tony finally raised his head and turned a glare to the leather clad assassin. “You have anything for me, Wade, or are you just going to turn around and leave?”

The guy looked like he had plenty to say, but Wanda stepped in front of him, her red tainted glare causing the man to back away. Clearly, Wade Wilson had some sense in him. Wanda crossed her arms, looking fully in her element and for once a strong force that Tony was happy to be around, and looked to Tony. “We saw the Black Widow in Brooklyn, so you can narrow the search there. But there is something more depressing.”

“What?” Tony asked, knowing his voice sounded hoarse. Peter, right then, was the only thing grounding him. He had to be grounded. Bucky didn’t need him a crazy, violent alpha rushing in. 

Wanda’s hesitance was just enough for Wade to pipe up, “My sources, which are damn reliable by threat of the blade, say she was at Lancaster’s End this morning.”

“What the hell is Lancaster’s End?” Rhodey demanded.

“It’s a very legal convenience store, that happens to have a backroom that sells a fuck ton of illegal shit,” Wade said. “Because my darling, adorable and someday fuckable Spider-Man ordered me to, I took a gander inside.”

“Get to the point,” Wanda ordered.

“Sheesh, okay,” Wade replied, before letting out a sigh. “She bought Devil’s Nap and Aphrodite’s Lust.”

Tony stared at him, his mind going blank. “What?”

“They’re underground drugs, usually a mix of random bits of prescriptions that people sell to the black market,” Wanda informed him. “Sokovia had a bad problem with them, as many countries do during civil war. Devil’s Nap is used as a poison for a normal human. For someone enhanced, it merely knocks you out.”

“So that’s what she used?” Peter asked.

“Hydra injected me with it,” Wanda admitted, for a second looking sick to her stomach. “It was to see how strong I was, to prove I could get past it. The dose they gave me knocked me out for three days. With the super serum, I doubt Barnes is even still out.”

“But that’s not the problem,” Wade practically singsonged. He ignored Wanda’s glare as he continued, “Oh, no, the Aphrodite’s Lust is a delicious little number that will literally make you fuck a dog if you’re an alpha. When used on omegas…well, the dark web has videos of that. I wonder which part of your little sexy number is going to wake up when they inject that into his veins.”

*

Bucky looked around the old house. They had moved, of course they would. His legs still weren’t working properly and while he had been tempted to scream for help the look in Steve and Romanoff’s eyes had stopped him. Apparently, Bucky was better than them, because he wound’t even yell for help if it meant letting his captures kill people. 

The new place wasn’t far from his old home by driving, only thirty minutes or so. They had placed him in a van, and he had been able to time the turns of the vehicle. They were out of Brooklyn and now more on the outskirts of New York City. It was a suburb, he could tell by the lack of traffic, but it was clearly an old and mostly vacant neighborhood. By the sun through the window, he could tell it was turning dark, and yet he heard no sound of kids being called in or cars coming home.

Nearly night, and he and Peter had went to the post office around ten in the morning.

He kept working his toes, knowing movement had to start somewhere and the end of his body was good enough. As Steve and Romanoff surveyed the abandoned house, like they weren’t the most dangerous things here, Bucky attempted physical therapy on hyperdrive. He kept working what muscles were able to move, noticing the more he did so the fast the others came online.

“Make sure everything is secure before you give it to him,” Romanoff was saying as they came back into the room. “I can bring you food in a few days, but otherwise I need to stay off the grid.”

“I’m sorry this is causing you so much trouble,” Steve replied, looking down at something in his hand. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“I know you will,” she said, giving him a fond look before heading toward the door.

And then it was only Bucky and Steve. Bucky kept trying to flex his legs as he watched Steve pace around the room, looking indecisive. “What’s going on, Steve?”

Steve turned to him and smiled, brightly in a way that reminded him of before the war, before the serum. The way Steve would look at him like he was Steve’s connection to everything. It made Bucky wonder if he actually deserved this, if he had led Steve on pre-serum and the cocktail injected in him twisted it. A part of Bucky hoped it was that simple, because it meant he could blame something out of their control.

“This is cozy,” Steve finally said. “I know it’s not ideal, but I think it can work.”

Bucky felt a moment of panic when Steve came toward him. He watched as the man knelt next to where he laid on the living room couch. “Work for what?”

“To get you better,” Steve replied. He held up a vial and needle, holding the vial upside down in preparation to fill the needle. 

“Wait,” Bucky said. He stared at Steve and swallowed, feeling his toes clench like they were preparing for something. “Shouldn’t we talk? Come on, Stevie, we haven’t seen each other in forever. Are you really going to do this without asking how my day went?”

For a second he didn’t think it would work, but Steve chuckled and set the vial and needle to the side. He moved over to the couch and, ignoring Bucky’s protests, lifted him up so Steve could rest behind him, making Bucky’s back lay against Steve’s chest. After a few more arrangements, Bucky found himself sitting in between Steve’s thighs. Steve was able to nuzzle the back of his neck and even licked at his bonding mark, but it was better than whatever that vial held. 

“Better?” Steve asked in a near hushed voice.

“Yeah,” Bucky said with lack of anything else to say. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Steve asked, taking advantage of the position to begin sliding a hand up and down Bucky’s chest.

“I’m…” Bucky swallowed, knowing no matter what he said Steve wouldn’t change his mind on what he wanted. But he could at least ask. “When did you...when did you pick me? Cause you never actually made a move, you know?”

“It kind of built,” Steve admitted, letting the hand caressing Bucky’s chest slip under his shirt. The skin on skin sent a shock through Bucky, but he ignored it in favor of keeping Steve distracted. Steve let out a laugh, “It was that time you found me trying to beat up those two alphas when I was about seventeen. We were best friends our entire lives. I had always had my eye on you, I think, but you just stepped in and smacked them away. And you kept doing it.”

“I get it, I mean I didn’t feel the same,” Bucky paused when he felt Steve’s fingers dig into his stomach. “But I get it. I just don’t get the rest.”

“I never told anyone I was an omega,” Steve replied, his tone almost dead due to the topic. “And when I became Captain America I still felt the same. I knew you were mine. I guess it could be wrong, but it was like it amplified all those feelings while making me an alpha. And you accepted me as an omega, and now as an alpha. I’m the only person who can understand you going from alpha to omega. The only one who understands.”

Bucky didn’t say anything. He let Steve tilt his head up into a kiss, his only focus on working his leg muscles while he still could.

*

Tony stepped out of the Iron Man suit, looking around the apartment that was empty except the decay. Bucky’s scent hit him hard, and it was Peter grabbing him that kept him from simply roaring in anger over it. Because it was a pure omega distress combined with a strange alpha in battle mode. 

And Tony knew that Rogers and Romanoff weren’t familiar enough with the man they captured to understand what that meant. It meant that Bucky was fighting, in his own way.

“They left a couple of hours ago,” Rhodey said, breathing deep, only to wince. “Bucky’s scent is definitely tainted, so they used to Devil’s Nap.”

“Our spiderling and Deadpool have a lead on a couple vans with generic designs on them,” Wanda said from the doorway. She was looking around the room with a haunted expression. In any other situation Tony would make jokes to reassure her, but he couldn’t right then. He kind of felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like he could barely see. “Stark! Tony, breathe! Your omega needs you, you can not fall to mere instinct. You are Iron Man, right?”

“Yes,” he replied, forcing himself to suck in air through his mouth.

“I have seen you make the impossible alive,” Wanda said, her voice a strange intensity. But then this side of Wanda was a whole new world for Tony, so all of it was strange. “Is your bonded not worth that?”

Tony looked up from where he had been staring at a blanket on the floor. He felt the challenge, and knew she meant it as such, as he began scanning the room for any information. He searched the place top to bottom, but other than confirming that they hadn’t been gone long there was no sign of where they had been heading. 

“Come on, let’s scent the alley,” Rhodey said in a soft voice, though they both knew it was useless. Even with Tony on the verge of alpha panic they hadn’t caught much of a scent there when they both landed. Only enough to know that Bucky was, at one point, there. Tony wondered if he should take comfort in knowing that Bucky was still alive, that he would feel if that changed.

Tony felt his body start trembling, and he honestly didn’t know if he was about to punch a wall or just start crying. “Rhodey.”

“Shit, buddy, come on. You need fresh air.,” Rhodey said softly, grabbing Tony and tugging him out of the apartment. He pulled Tony outside the building and gently pressed him against the brick wall. “Look at me, Tones. You got to breathe, okay? You need to focus.”

“Snowflake-” Tony started, before he had to stop. 

“Is going to be fine,” Rhodey said, looking Tony directly in the eye. “Tony, you need to do what you need to do. Rules side with an alpha in this situation, you can use whatever tools you have available and no one is going to judge you for it.”

Tony gave a shaky nod and hit the button on his wristband to call his suit back to him, only with Friday maneuvering it to prevent it bringing the building down. He let out a long breath, seeing Peter in his Spider-Man costume swing into the alley with Wade easily staying at pace with him. A few minutes later he was in his suit and saying to Friday, “Engage the Creepy Uncle Statute.”

“I was expecting you to ask, Boss, and already have the system booted up,” Friday replied, making Tony wanted to add more bells and whistles to that music program he made for her.

“The what?” Peter asked.

“Even before the Ultron incident, after what I saw in space, I got really drunk one night and made a little program to keep track of crime and make sure New York was safe,” Tony replied.

“You actually created Big Brother,” Wade sounded highly amused. “That is fucked up and the name is awesome. How far does it go? Can I play with it?”

“Be quiet, Deadpool,” Peter said, exasperated. He paused, “But, honestly, how does it work?”

“Friday is capable of accessing any camera or security system in the city,” Tony admitted. “She just...chooses not to.”

“Not to mention it’s highly illegal,” Rhodey said, before smiling sadly. “Searching for his bonded and his kid would be the only time the law would be flexible enough for him to use it.”

“Good luck trying to have fun before your fifty, kid,” Wade told Peter, making even Wanda snicker.

“Boss?” Friday piped up over all their comms. “I have found various traffic cameras with Romanoff in the driver’s seat of a light gray Ford van heading out of Brooklyn to the west.“

“That’s my baby girl,” Tony said, already lifting up into the air. “Let’s head that direction, I’ll keep Friday patched through the comm for any updates on movement. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go rescue my bonded.”

“As I said,” Wanda commented, “you do indeed make the impossible alive.”

*

“You are doing so good,” Steve informed him, peppering kisses along his cheek and neck. 

At least the man wasn’t directly kissing him anymore. It had taken all of Bucky to just not bite down on his tongue. Vaguely, he had always wondered about the omegas and others who would remain docile even if they knew how to fight when someone wasn’t sexually harassing them. He had never understood the desire to not fight. Now he got it, because it was about survival. 

There was nothing he could do to protect himself right then. If letting Steve make these small advances meant he wasn’t reaching for that vial than Bucky would have to let him. He could feel more of his legs, more movement every minute that passed, but he couldn’t test it. No, when he finally did act it was going to have to be sudden, and he had to be sure he actually could follow through.

“God, even with Tony’s mark on you,” Steve murmured, pressing his nose behind Bucky’s ear, “you still smell so good.”

Bucky swallowed, staying silent because he knew he’d just snap at the man if he opened his mouth. He shuddered as Steve’s hand kept caressing his chest, moving down to slide along his stomach. 

“I think it’s time, don’t you,” Steve whispered, kissing behind his ear. “I can’t wait any longer.”

And yes, Bucky had been fully aware of Steve’s erection pressed against his lower back. 

“Steve, please, don’t,” Bucky pleaded, clenching his eyes closed and feeling Steve stretch out to grab the needle and vial on the side table. He blindly grabbed at Steve’s arm, but even then Steve was still stronger than him. Bucky felt his fingers pried off and tried not to cry as Steve filled the needle with the clear liquid. “Not like this. I can’t...please.”

“Shh,” Steve replied, like he wasn’t even listening to what Bucky was saying. He wrapped one arm around Bucky’s torso, trapping his only arm in the first place. Never before had Bucky wished he had taken Tony up on his offer of a new arm, just so he could rip off Steve’s. “Bucky, it’s going to be okay, you’ll see. I’m going to take such good care of you.”

Bucky felt himself entering panic as the needle pricked his skin, right in the jugular. He was breathing too fast, tiny black spots in his vision. He jerked when he felt a hot-cold sensation start to spread through his body and he suddenly couldn’t breathe. 

“Shh, baby, come on, it’s okay,” Steve practically cooed in his ear.

Bucky knew he was no longer crying, no he was sobbing at this point. He needed Tony, he needed a soft touch, an alpha that was willing to crawl for him just to ensure he felt safe. He wasn’t safe, he wasn’t home, and Steve Roger’s wasn’t his alpha. “Fuck. You.”

“Bucky, calm down, you’re hyperventilating,” Steve ordered, his tone turning hard. “Breathe, Bucky, just take in some slow breaths. You can get through this.”

But Bucky didn’t want to get through this. He wasn’t going to get through it at all, because Steve wasn’t going to get away with this shit. No one was allowed to touch him. No one was allowed to listen to him say no, say stop, and just keep on going. And no one was taking his bond mark off of him.

“Buck-” Steve was saying, probably something asinine. Bucky wasn’t really listening, all his focus was on the pure intensity entering his body. The rush of hot-cold was building, and he could feel his body arching against his will. He should have been in pain, been aching, but instead he just couldn’t comprehend anything. Steve tried to tighten his hold on him, but Bucky was twisting out of his grasp. “It’s okay, Bucky!”

He grabbed Steve’s wrist, using the sudden shock of his movement to roll off Steve and onto the floor. He held tight to Steve’s wrist in his move off him, not even hesitating as it caused the arm the twist nearly the full way around. He landed on one knee, thankful his legs were working well enough to catch his fall. And never stopped twisting the arm, ignoring the sudden near scream Steve let out, the alpha clearly trying to muffle it behind clenched teeth.

The super serum made it nearly impossible to just break Steve’s arm, but thanks to Bucky’s enhanced strength he was able to grin in satisfaction as the man’s elbow dislocated. It was only then Bucky let go of him, slowly standing as Steve let out a whimper of pain and looked up at him in complete betrayal.

Bucky tilted his head, smiling and feeling an odd lack of actual emotion inside himself. “Pain looks good on you, Stevie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that happened. I kinda love that last line, thought of it after a customer tried yelling at my banker today. (Tried. I don't tolerate that crap as a manager, if I'm able I pull the asshole over to my station. The woman opened an account, then after getting it all uploaded and debit card printed said she didn't want it anymore, uhh no, I'll use the cancellation before 90 days fee for that crap if you're yelling at my banker, bitch. - why would you sit there for 30 mins if you didn't want it anyway?)
> 
> Anyway, probably 2 chapters left. I'm crying, my baby is all grown up and dislocating arms!!!
> 
> Also, lol, dead inside Bucky. We know what that means!


	22. Chapter 22

Tony had been flying, with Rhodey in War Machine, for a good twenty minutes before a sudden rush of panic hit him. He stopped mid-air, trying to catch his breath and just understand the feeling rushing through him. It was complex, panic and fear and a level of pure sadistic rage that Tony had trouble bringing in oxygen.

“Tones?” Rhodey asked over the comm. “Speak to me, I’m getting some strange vibes from you.”

“Rhodey, I don’t-” Tony sucked in air, as Friday put more oxygen into the suit to compensate what little he was managing to get in. “Something’s wrong. I can feel it.”

“Tony, Tones, listen to me,” Rhodey said, drawing closer to him. “You need to focus on that feeling, let it pull you to Bucky.”

Tony could feel his vision whiting out. Someone was touching him, he could feel the lingering traces like a burning tickle across his chest and stomach. Butterfly burns at his cheek, at his bonding mark. A growing anger, desperation built with each touch. Tony could only be caught up in the emotions rolling through him and how they were picking up speed.

“Tony?” he heard Peter’s voice of the comms, but it was distant to his ears.

Then it was like an ice-hot sensation was filling his veins and all Tony could do was scream at the pure agony that came with it. He focused, trying anything to just push past the pain and toward where it was coming from. He wanted to cry when the feeling tapered off, leaving a dull residue in his body and an odd focus in its wake. 

“I can feel him,” Tony whispered, his voice raw. 

Flashes of images filled his head as he concentrated, voices mingling as well. He could hear Rogers speaking, the tone almost caring, but the sick sensation that washed over him told him that Bucky didn’t feel comforted by the man’s words.

“Peter, I need you to stay out of the building unless I give you the say so,” Tony ordered, turning and flying west with a new determination. 

“But-” Peter started to protest.

“I don't know what we’re going to find,” Tony explained, “but I do know Bucky’s need to keep you safe could distract him from whatever is happening. We can’t risk it.”

“The moment-”

“Yes,” Tony cut him off. “Peter, the moment you see an opening for your webs, use it, but until then keep out of sight. Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Peter said softly. 

“And the rest of us, Dad?” Wade piped up.

“Don’t let us kill him, I want Rogers to rot in jail while his neighbors threaten him for omega torture,” Tony snapped, letting his actual emotions show now that he wasn’t talking to Peter. 

“Not to mention, no criminal is a fan of Captain America,” Wanda stated, sounding a bit amused by the concept. “Do you want us to form a perimeter?”

“Yes,” Rhodey answered for Tony, because they were getting closer and Tony was finding it harder to concentrate. “Only Tony goes in at first. We don’t know what state Bucky is in and too many scents might harm him. We don’t need another Central Park episode, even if Rogers deserves to have a Bucky Barnes in stealth mode on his ass.”

*

Steve was clearly in pain as he stood and Bucky was very aware that it was only a matter of minutes before he would be healed, a simple motion to relocate his elbow. The beauty of the super serum thrumming through both of their veins, healing was a simple matter of realigning. It didn’t take the painful expression off of the man’s face. A fact that made Bucky smirked as he stepped back.

“Bucky-” Steve started, before letting out a sharp sound that matched the harsh pop as Steve tugged at his arm to realign it. Bucky found amusement in the fact that, while his arm was back in place, the idiot didn’t actually do it right.

“You want me, Stevie boy?” Bucky teased, staring without blinking as Steve’s nostrils flared and a look of confusion passed over his face. “What’s the matter, not what you thought?”

“Buck, how?” Steve asked, sounding baffled.

And Bucky kept the pleasant smirk on his face, because he knew what Steve could smell off of him. Alpha, over a thin layer of omega. Bucky wanted to laugh, if felt it enough. Which he didn’t. No, everything was oddly calm, docile. Steve was no threat to him. Steve was useless.

“B-Bucky?” Steve asked again.

“Oh, Stevie, what’s the matter? Isn’t this exactly what you had in mind?” Bucky asked, stepping up to the man and tilting his head as his eyes scanned him from head to foot. “Granted, you’re not as agile as I’d prefer my omega, but I suppose some flexibility can come into play here.”

“No, I’m the alpha,” Steve said slowly, looking confused. But Bucky could see a spark there, because once an omega always an omega, just as Bucky was always an alpha. Bucky reached out, smirking when Steve flinched, the confusion of Bucky and his own reactions growing. But Bucky just caressed his cheek with a thumb.

“What’s the matter?” Bucky asked, forcing the sound of caring into his voice.

“You were supposed to go into heat,” Steve blurted out.

“Oh, I see,” Bucky said, stepping back again. He stared Steve in the eye, feeling a slow cold fill him. Steve wanted him as a tool. Tony did not. Bucky knew his priorities, knew exactly what he wanted. “That’s not going to happen with you, Stevie. You’re beneath me.”

Before Steve could reply, Bucky had him by his throat, tossing him like one of DUM-E’s balls across the room. Steve hit the wall and rolled, a wince on his face as he got to his feet. The man opened his mouth, but Bucky ignored him and picked up the vial and needle in his hand, looking at it curiously. Once again, he found himself feeling nothing, but he was fully okay with that. 

“Bucky, I’m sorry, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go,” Steve said, sounding distressed.

There was a hint there, of a distressed omega, and Bucky got caught up in the scent for a second before ignoring it. “Maybe not, Stevie. Maybe it’s time for your dose.”

“No,” Steve said, voice hushed.

“Going to fight me? You didn’t care when I fought,” Bucky said, voice a dead tone. “And congratulations, you got exactly what you’ve always wanted. Strong, powerful alpha Bucky Barnes. It’s a dream come true, isn’t it, because we have this little vial that can make you exactly what you were. Pretty much the only thing I’d be interested in.”

There was a moment when they looked at each other, tears in Steve’s eyes and a blank expression on Bucky’s face. Then Steve’s expression hardened. “No.”

“Oh, but, no isn’t something we pay attention to,” Bucky said, his practically lifeless voice almost having a playful quality to it. “I said no. Isn’t that right? And I’m the dominant alpha now, aren’t I? No? No isn’t a word according to you and now, not to me either.”

“Bucky,” Steve breathed out, sounding scared. And that right there was a sound that sent an electric thrill through Bucky, the first feeling he’d had since the needle pricked his skin.

“Are you ready, darling?” Bucky asked, his tone more sarcastic than anything. Steve growled, standing to his full height. “Or we can do that.”

Steve rushed at him and Bucky, with his hand still holding the vial and needle, backhanded him. Steve spun, startled by the hit on his cheek for a moment. Bucky took the second of the pause to set the vial and needle down, just in time for Steve to tackle him down to the ground. A sudden thrill, the strongest emotion he felt in the past few hours, rushed through him. The alpha response to dominate was pumping through his veins. 

His back hit the ground from Steve tackle, but even with only one arm Bucky had been better trained in fighting than Steve ever had. He knew how to use his legs to his advantage and quickly had one up, kicking Steve off only to follow through and land on top of him. He had his hand at Steve’s throat quickly, squeezing so tightly that Steve paused, eyes wide as he felt his body begin to struggle with breathing.

“Come on, Stevie boy, you gotta do better than that,” Bucky hissed.

Steve fought back, punching Bucky in the face, but Bucky refused to let go of Steve’s neck. He shifted on top of Steve, pushing one thigh between the man’s legs and feeling a partial erection there. Because in the end Steve was an omega, just as Bucky was an alpha. He pressed forward, making sure that Steve felt that he was the only one here who felt sexual excitement.

“Stop,” Steve wheezed, bucking to try to throw Bucky off. It didn’t work.

Bucky leaned in and rubbed his nose against Steve’s in a parody of affection. He heard a small whine escape Steve. “Oh come on, Stevie, don’t you want it? Don’t you want to feel it?”

“No,” Steve whispered, eyes dancing around for something to grab in his defense.

Bucky angled his hand, pushing Steve’s head back to bare his neck. He leaned in, dragging his tongue along Steve's neck, hearing the way the man’s breath caught. “One little needle, Stevie boy.”

“I-” Steve cut himself off, a choking sound coming from him, and he suddenly went pliant under Bucky. Bucky pulled back to see his expression had gone vacant, soft. Probably exactly as Bucky’s had been through Steve’s advantages. The tears were obvious and despite Steve movements to push Bucky off, it was weak.

“Tell me,” Bucky hissed, forcing Steve’s head and the man himself to look at him. “Tell me you want this.”

Steve’s voice, when he spoke, was near sobbing but fully honest, “I do.”

If Bucky had been himself then he would have stopped there, he would have felt the urge to comfort. But there was no caring in him at that moment. He only wanted a few things at that point: Steve to pay for what he did and for Tony to find him. And he knew he wouldn’t be pulled from this strange void until he heard Tony’s voice and smelt his scent. 

Bucky let go of Steve’s throat, watching as the man gasped for air. He then reached for the needle and vial. It took some maneuvering to fill the needle with one arm, but he had been living with only one for quite a while now. He knew what he was doing. 

Steve kept laying there, watching him and actually crying, in a way that was against his control. But at the same time the man kept looking at him, like Bucky made the world and all he wanted in the world was simply that: Bucky.

Bucky didn’t care about that at all right then. He wanted the man that smiled as Bucky tossed balls for a damn adorable robot. He wanted a near-not-really-but-kind-of son that came up with something new to show Bucky at any given moment. He wanted to not be touched and hurt by someone for once in his life. And Steve Rogers thought all he wanted was Bucky Barnes and that he didn’t need to do anything to deserve him. So, Bucky was going to give him exactly that and break him in the process.

The sense of awareness that should have been there was silent. No, he was pure instinct. Pure hatred. Pure vengeance. Pure mission.

“Not going to fight it Stevie boy?” Bucky asked, holding the prepped needle.

“I don’t think I can,” Steve admitted, his voice holding none of his usual confidence.

“Funny, I felt the same way,” Bucky said, his tone more curious that anything. And it was at that moment that he plunged the needle into Steve’s neck.

*

“Stop!” Rhodey yelled over the comm as they came up to the house that Bucky was being kept. “Something if seriously off. There are both omega and alpha scents in there, both in rut and heat.”

Tony let himself settle on the ground, lifting his face plate as Rhodey joined him. The scent that hit his nose sent a growl through him, before he forced himself to clear his head and pay attention to what he was smelling. He frowned, glancing at Rhodey as the others finally joined them. “That’s not Bucky in heat.”

Wanda winced, smelling the air. “The smells are not normal. I remember that smell from the omega stations in Sokovia. It’s the Aphrodite’s Lust. It brings out the most basic part of the heat or rut. I’ve never smelt it this conflicting before, though.”

“But, Bucky’s not really an omega, right?” Peter pointed out in a hopeful tone.

Tony had been steadily feeling sicker the closer they got, and now he had to fight the urge to just vomit in the dying bushes by the door. He blinked rapidly and took in as much air as possible, before drawing his face plate up. “I’m going in.”

“The moment you say the word,” Rhodey said.

“Yeah,” Tony said, feeling like he was going to his doom.

The door broke easily with a small beam to the handle. He was inside seconds later and immediately had to fight the urge to vomit. The entire building was filled with distressed omega and an equally distressed alpha. Tony had to keep the face plate up, just so Friday could filter the hormones. Otherwise, as Tony walked in the living room he would have been drowned in the sensations rolling through the room.

Instead, he was able to take a quick view of what was happening. And it was less bloody than he was expecting, because a part of him always assumed Bucky would fight hard and violently when backed into a corner like this. Instead, he saw Rogers on the ground whimpering and curled up in a ball. Bucky was walking circles around him, a dead look on his face and yet his voice was simply...brutal in its lack of sympathy and outright joy at seeing Rogers like that. His Snowflake was mocking the man before him for his stupidity and weakness while Rogers seemed to only be able to try and reach for him plaintively.

Tony didn’t lower his face plate, knowing if he did he would be stuck in whatever hormonal drive they were in. Thankfully Bucky looked up and smiled at the sight of him, before kicking Rogers in the side and causing a high pitch whine in response. The smile was partial glee and partial relieved happiness. Tony wasn’t sure the exact protocol here. 

“Hey, Snowflake, what are you up to?” Tony asked.

Bucky’s smile turned almost shark-like. “Taking care of business. Poor little omega, what do you think? Should I give him a taste of him own medicine. Oh, think I already did that.”

“I think you should come with me,” Tony said, knowing Bucky meant injecting Rogers with the drug. It was clear Bucky hadn’t touched Rogers and had no desire to do so. “I don’t like the idea of you even touching him. Besides, I was half expecting to rescue you.”

“Oh, baby,” Bucky breathed, before stalking forward in what someone - Tony could barely think, names didn’t matter - had called the Winter Soldier’s murder strut. Bucky cupped his face, through the face plate even though Tony felt like it was skin on skin. “I wouldn’t actually touch him. I don’t mingle with trash.”

Past Bucky’s shoulder, Rogers like out a sad, desperate sound.

“Come on, doll, let me see your face. Trust me, you won’t be tempted by that thing at all,” Bucky practically purred.

Before Tony was aware of it, he was following Bucky’s suggestion. The scents in the room hit him hard, and he would have staggered back if Bucky didn’t have a strong hold on him. He could smell Rogers in the throw of a chemical heat. The scent nearly took control, but it was the more familiar and comforting smell of Bucky that calmed him. The man had arousal and violence and just pure thrill rolling off of him in waves. It was so much more potent than the weak, sickly omega scent coming from Rogers.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Bucky whispered, bringing back his attention.

Then Tony was being kissed, and he had to open his mouth up for Bucky’s tongue. He could taste something a little off there and realize it was from Rogers. He growled and was rewarded with a growl back from Bucky. A sound that was oddly reassuring as Bucky grasped at him, hand sliding and clutching at the Iron Man suit like it was Tony’s own skin. Tony could barely smell Rogers at this point, let alone hear the man’s whimpers get stronger.

“Ignore him,” Bucky ordered. “Please, wanna fuck you into the wall.”

“Let’s get home, and we can consider that,” Tony said a little breathlessly.

Bucky narrowed his eyes and Tony found himself being shoved back, hitting the wall with a clang. Bucky immediately pressed up against him. “Not going to wait that long, Tony. Besides, Stevie should know what he’s missing out on.”

“Not really into giving people a show, Bucky,” Tony said, despite the small moan he let out when Bucky kissed along his jawline. He felt Bucky nip at his skin in response. His eyes darted over Bucky’s shoulder to Rogers, who was still on the ground, watching them, hands curling into fists on to the ground as he let out a desperate sound. “I think he gets the point, Snowflake.”

Bucky stared at Tony, jaw clenched. “It’s not enough.”

“If I could, I’d be beating the shit out of him, but I can’t with him like that,” Tony said. He slid his gauntlet covered hands around Bucky’s waist, tugging him closer. “I want to take you home. I want to draw you a bath and wash you clean, then I want you to take me to bed.”

Bucky pulled away and stormed over to Steve, who was curling back into himself. “You should be the one with the rage, Tony, or are you not my alpha?”

Tony disengaged the suit and stepped out, wavering for a moment from the pure intense energy in the room that the suit had been dampening. He walked over to Bucky, purposely ignoring Rogers. “Bucky, I am your alpha. And it’s because I’m being calm and letting you fume and not driving you up the wall with domineering gestures… Come on, we both know that the overly possessive and violence guy? It’s not me and that’s why you fell in love with me.”

Bucky drew in a series of heavy, angry breaths and glanced down at Rogers, who was covered in heat fever and weakly trying to reach out for Bucky’s ankle so that he had something to hold onto. Bucky kicked the man’s hand away, before turning back to Tony. “I demand a promise that he will suffer.”

“The American people are going to know who he really is and the criminal population of what prison he ends up in? They’ll spend plenty of time reminding him of what he did,” Tony said softly. “Me and my army of expensive lawyers are going to make sure of it.”

Tony felt himself being dragged forward into a harsh kiss, filled with tongue and teeth. He groaned into Bucky’s mouth and felt Bucky’s answering moan. There was a sharp sensation on his lip as Bucky bit down, a metallic hint of blood lingering after Bucky pulled away. Bucky stared at him a moment and when he spoke it was with a thick voice fueled with desire, “Take me home.”

He smiled and reached up to tap on his comm ear-piece. “I’m going to need Rogers taken into custody, but he’s under a chemically induced heat so be careful and warn everyone ahead of time.”

“That brings up so many questions, a few of them on the kinky side. Onto other matters, where will you be, oh metallic one?” Wade asked.

“I’m thinking a bubble bath.” Tony grinned, shutting off the comm. “You okay with me carrying you, or shall I call for a chariot?”

“Get your suit on,” Bucky growled, making Tony engage the suit faster than he normally did. Bucky was then kissing him, hard, before wrapping his arm around Tony’s shoulder and pulling back from the kiss before far too easily lifting himself up to wrap his legs around Tony’s suit clad waist.

“That should not be so hot,” Tony breathed, getting another kiss before he swiftly made it to the large window. He was able to push it open, giving them just enough room for him to fly through it and not harm Bucky in the process. Bucky kissed him yet again, slipping a bit on tongue into his mouth. Tony moaned when he pulled away. “Yeah, I’m giving you all the bath bubbles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter chapter. I know it's not how ya'll wanted Tony to react, but like he says here: Bucky fell in love with Tony cause of his easy going, not normal alpha personality. 
> 
> At least one more chapter, maybe two.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THIS HAPPENED. And it has a lot of dialogue and now we're looking maybe to 25 chapters total? Maybe. 
> 
> Also, Wade Wilson needs to shut up.

Tony watched Bucky carefully as he started up the shower, a worry different from what he had before growing in him. Bucky seemed to be shutting down, becoming pliant as Tony physically maneuvered him under the spray. Tony had been hoping returning to the place of their last physical connection would reawaken something in the man, remind him he was home and safe, but instead all he got was a disturbingly familiar stare as he began washing the scent of Steve Rogers off his mate.

He remembered that stare, from footage found in the depths of HYDRA files and glimpses of it in the BARF system. It was a stare he had hoped he’d never see in person. He had felt he had been a good alpha and provided for Bucky, comforted him and gave him space when he needed it. Tony was certain he had done everything in his power, even before they were together, to not warrant that expression.

It was having Bucky standing there that kept him from turning back around and heading straight for Rogers, blasters armed at the ready. It had been Bucky that had kept him portraying a calm image back there, knowing if he had encouraged Bucky even the slightest bit then he’d be aiding Bucky in destroying something in himself. 

For all of Bucky’s reborn in steel and violence past, he was also reborn again in compassion and love. Tony wouldn’t have been able to bear letting Bucky ignore that side of him.

Maybe he made a mistake, though, because he’d give anything for Bucky to just look at him. To give that small smile of his. 

Tony dried Bucky off with a towel before pulling a pair of boxers and a shirt on him. He had no illusions that something was going to happen tonight, even if the thrum of anticipation from Bucky’s words was still flowing through his veins. Instead, Tony got him into bed and crawled in after him. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and rested his head against the man’s shoulder, watching as Bucky just gazed up at the ceiling. 

“I love you, Snowflake,” Tony whispered, breathing deep when the only acknowledgement he got was a barely there eye flicker.

Neither one of them fell asleep. Their minds mostly settled into a void. Tony let himself be blank, trying to not let the worry and stress and more worry guide his actions. He wanted to touch Bucky, everywhere, but couldn’t. Not when he was laying like a doll in his arms, like a puppet. Instead, he spent most of the time taking in Bucky’s warmth and trying to ignore the bottle of Scotch he still had hidden somewhere in his workshop.

A few hours passed before he heard his phone ring. Carefully pulling away from his hold on Bucky, Tony quickly made it to the other side of the room. “Hello?”

“You don’t sound like there was a happy reunion,” Rhodey immediately said, zoning in on Tony’s voice. “What have you two been doing to have you sound so depressed? You know Rogers is in custody, right? He’s in medical, but he’s heading off to high security the moment we can manage it.”

“Bucky’s not...not doing so well,” Tony said, swallowing the thick sensation in his throat, like he had the desire to cry.

“What’s wrong?” Rhodey asked, all joking disappearing. 

“He’s...it’s like something in him broke, Rhodey,” Tony said softly, trying to keep his voice low enough in case Bucky could hear around him. “It’s...shit. It’s like when he was done with a mission. Those bastards would wipe him clean, to make him remember as little as possible so their little toy wouldn’t be a liability. His face...it’s the same blankness in those videos.”

“Well, Tones-” Rhodey started.

“I don’t know how to help him with this, and I can’t bring in Peter, not if he’s in full Winter Soldier mode. Sure it’s practically his kid and Bucky’s more docile than I’ve ever seen, but I can’t risk that. He needs-”

“To hunt,” Rhodey interrupted him, tone going stern. It was Rhodey’s military voice. “Tony, he needs to be allowed to finish his mission.”

“What are you talking about?” Tony snapped, feeling too tired and too stressed to play around with riddles.

“The Winter Soldier started and then didn’t stop until his missions were over, right? Well, it’s not over and letting him go after Romanoff is going to give Bucky time to refocus that head of his. It's going to remind him of who he is, and you and Peter being there is going to help him remember what type of person he wants to be,” Rhodey said. “Not to mention, the violence he didn’t get with Rogers, because in the end Rogers was always going to cave fast. Though, I have to say, that was poetic justice, man.”

“He has the heart of a writer,” Tony mumbled, staring at Bucky’s form on the bed. The man had shifted, those blank eyes now watching Tony. His mate was clearly waiting for something to happen and Tony’s mind flashed to the bite guard, the head straps, and Bucky screaming. He sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you have any leads?”

“Even with Friday helping us, Romanoff is completely off the grid,” Rhodey admitted. “Deadpool might be able to find something, but he’s having to go to his underground connections to get it. Which means…”

“We’re all just waiting,” Tony said with a sigh.

“Well, we are,” Rhodey said. “You, on the other hand, are going to get that man of yours out of the comfortable bed I know you have him in and get him to eat something before you explain how Romanoff is missing.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Tony replied, feeling tired. And kind of old right then. He hung up with Rhodey and turned back to the bed, where Bucky had gone back to staring at the patterns on the ceiling. Seeing Bucky still this shut down was starting to make Tony mad.

Not at Bucky, of course, at Rogers and Romanoff and the entire world, really. He wanted to punch something, or blow something up. Blowing something up sounded amazing right then and Tony wished he still manufactured weapons. When he had, there was always some kind of dangerous weapon or explosive lying around waiting to be tripped over and blow off his foot. Tony grunted, rubbed at his face and thought about the Scotch again.

Letting out a slow breath, Tony walked over to the bed and crawled onto it. The movement caught Bucky’s attention and seeing Tony crawl slowly toward him brought a flash of some kind of emotion to his face. It didn’t last long, but it was something familiar and eased some of Tony’s distress over Bucky’s behavior. His Snowflake was still in there, had to be if the man was near emotionally dead and still able to have a hint of his ‘Tony’s so cute’ expression. 

“Hey, there,” Tony said softly, crowding up to Bucky’s side and nuzzling the man’s cheek. “We should eat and then, well, we’ve got some loose ends to take care of.”

That definitely caught Bucky’s attention, his eyes becoming a little more focused.

“Ohh, you like the idea of getting out there and finishing things, huh?” Tony teased. He kissed Bucky’s temple. “I don’t blame you, but babe, come on. You’ve been kidnapped, drugged, sexually assaulted, and forced to listen to Steve Rogers talk-” Tony paused at the angry growl Bucky let out. “See? Exactly why you need to refuel.”

Tony started to stand, but found his wrist suddenly held in a tight yet gentle grip. He looked back at Bucky, seeing the way the man was looking him up and down. It was like Bucky was slowly remembering who Tony was. Tony carefully tugged his wrist free. “Or, you could come with me?”

He found himself with Bucky latched onto him, the man’s face buried in his neck as he breathed in deep. Somehow, Tony still managed to move around the kitchen to heat up a bagel and smear cream cheese onto each half. He handed one to Bucky, who shifted to press against Tony’s non-dominant side before he sniffed the bagel carefully and only took a bite after Tony did. 

Apparently, despite the protective hold the man had on him, Bucky’s instincts were still in distrust mode.

“Okay, so, here’s the thing,” Tony said as they ate. He waited until Bucky was staring intently at him again, the gaze making Tony feel like he should be standing at attention. “We have Rogers in custody. He’s in lockdown in medical until that Aphrodite’s Lust crap that they bought is out of his system, then he’s off to the big boy prison. It’s high security and I already plan to reach out to them to offer an advanced monitoring system.”

There was a moment of silence, Bucky stiff beside him, before Tony sighed. “We haven’t found Romanoff.”

Suddenly, Bucky was moving away, throwing his half-eaten bagel in the trash and walking back to the bedroom. Tony followed, pausing in the doorway to see that Bucky was digging in the closet, mostly hidden by the door. There was a moment of just rustling, before Bucky emerged, pants on and trying to pull on the only article of clothing the man kept from his assassin days. Tony might have flailed a second, because his mate was putting on a bondage jacket, but then he hurried forward and began pulling the snaps and buckles into place.

Bucky watched him, head tilted as Tony fixed the article of clothing to perfection, pausing when he realized the armless side was also sleeveless. Bucky didn’t seem to care, though, so neither would Tony. Then Tony stood back, watching Bucky as he put on his boots. Bucky glanced up at him and said in a rough voice, “You coming?”

*

Bucky had glared at Tony when he had offered to carry him again. Tony was left with hovering in the air, at a much slower speed, while Bucky weaved through the streets of New York on one of Tony’s seldom used motorcycles and seemed to have a better idea of where they were going than Tony did. It was strange, the man was no longer in that desperate emotion filled rut of an alpha. Now that it was turning daylight he was more void of anything. If it wasn’t for the obvious affection he was still showing Tony, then Tony would be a lot more worried. 

In reality, he should definitely be more worried.

They made their way into the Bronx, which baffled Tony for a second before he realized that if they were waiting on Wade Wilson’s contacts than the odds were the rest of the team would be hanging out in the man’s part of the city as well. He made a brief mental note to confirm that Wade had never invited Peter over. Seeing Bucky pull over, Tony made his way to the nearest alley and exited his suit, letting it shrink down to case size before he emerged to see Bucky leaning against the wall waiting for him.

“You stand out,” Bucky complained.

Tony looked him up and down, “Yeah, I’m not the one everyone’s going to be looking at, darling.”

The corner of Bucky’s mouth twitched at the compliment. Then a strong hand shot out, grabbed Tony by the front of his t-shirt, and dragged him into a hard kiss. Tony melted into it, not even caring that Bucky was holding him a little too tight, biting on his lip a littler harder than usual, or even that Bucky was grabbing his hair tightly. When Bucky pulled back, he tilted his head again and gave a near smirk. “There we go.”

Tony blinked, trying to get his brain back online. Bucky turned and began walking down the street, his head turning at interesting angles. It took Tony a moment to catch up and then realize that Bucky was listening for something. “What do you hear?”

Bucky shot him a look that, very clearly, told him to be quiet. And Tony would have said more, except Bucky then added scenting into the mix. The road they were on wasn’t exactly empty, and they were catching a few looks here and there. But somehow Bucky made stalking around in public, head cocked and sniffing like a dog look completely normal. No one glanced at him twice.

Because Bucky Barnes lived and breathed instinct, be it pure and in the open or hidden and just plain accidental. 

Tony tried to follow Bucky’s example, but in the end he was too much of a proper city alpha. He was raised to show dominance through business arrangements or how large the diamond his omega was wearing cost. Even his time in Afghanistan didn’t strip him of that trained arrogance, not like HYDRA had managed to do with Bucky. 

They paused outside a five-story apartment building that sat between a laundry mat and a deli. Bucky turned to look at him after staring at the fourth floor for a moment. “Call them. One of them...the witch-”

“Wanda,” Tony corrected automatically. 

“Yes, she’s pacing, getting agitated. She needs to know it’s us coming,” he said.

“Good point,” Tony said, pulling out his phone. Wanda might be on their side now, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t accidentally kill them if she lost control. “Hey, platypus, it’s me. Just letting you know we’re coming up.”

Tony made for the staircase, putting his phone away, only to have Bucky tug him back and take the lead. Tony had the distinct feeling of being protected, but it wasn’t in him to argue about the dignity of it. They made their way upwards and Tony reached past Bucky and tapped on the door four times. When it opened there was a flicker of red in the doorway that made Tony wrap his arm around Bucky’s waist to keep him in place. 

“Hey guys, how’s things?” he called out. The red flickered, then disappeared. “No, seriously, safe to come in?”

“Yes, Tony, it is safe,” Wanda replied from the kitchen doorway. 

“On edge, are we?” Tony asked as they entered. Bucky immediately began searching each room silently, something Tony was already used to. He did that every night before bed.

“I don’t like waiting,” Wanda admitted, her voice soft. She was watching Bucky curiously as well, but kept glancing over to see what Tony’s take on Bucky showing himself as such a dominant figure in the room.

“I think we’re all on edge,” Rhodey commented.

The moment Bucky had the entire apartment mapped out, he strode over to Peter and grabbed the boy. In a scene that was nearly identical to the one from Central Park when Bucky had triggered APPA, Bucky proceeded to check Peter over and even leaned in to breathe in the scent of his hair. Finally, he stepped back and cupped the boy’s head, a small smile on his face that Tony was pretty sure would never change no matter how far into the Winter Soldier Bucky became.

The sliding glass door opened and Wade came bouncing in. He paused the moment he saw Bucky standing partially in front of Peter in a clear sign of protection and raised his hands like he had been caught doing something. “I didn’t touch him.”

“Don’t you ever use a door?” Peter asked, ignoring the dominance displays in the room like a typical omega who wasn’t near their heat. 

“Do you?” Wade countered.

“What did you find out?” Wanda snapped out, her hands clenching. Tony was relieved to not see any red sparks, but it was clear the woman was stressing out and wanted to get this whole ordeal over with. Knowing how close she had gotten to Rogers, and knowing her brother had been right there with her at the start of that, it was probably putting some scary images in her head. 

“Not much,” Wade admitted. He walked over to his hall closet, opening it up. “Oh, except a lot of electrical repair kits were stolen recently. You know, those little tiny ones with the wires and the tiny batteries-”

“So she can make her own spider bites,” Tony guessed, rolling his eyes. “Anything else, or did you just spend the last couple of hours playing pool?”

“On the contrary,” Wade said, reaching into his pocket and showing off a small roll of hundreds. “I fucking won huge on today’s sexiest psycho. It was awesome, because look at this, might be able to buy a damn tv that’s Playstation compatible. But, it also means that I guessed a certain widow and won. Now, why would a bunch of Bronx hooligans like me know about her so intimately?”

“She’s been building her contacts,” Bucky said. 

“Shit,” Rhodey muttered. “Where does that leave us?”

Bucky stalked over to where Wade was and practically shoved the man out of the way to see into the closet. Immediately, Bucky began pulling out guns and checking them, before putting them back. He paused on one, looking it over carefully.

“Uh, no, you don’t fucking touch Anastasia,” Wade said, taking the gun away and kissing it through his mask. He reached past Bucky to grab another, just as sleek gun. “You can play with Veronica and if you are as good as they say, I’ll even lend you Michael.”

“Huh, it’s actually clean,” Bucky said in a deadpan voice, causing Wade to let out a small growl in response.

“Enough!” Rhodey snapped. “A plan, please? How are we going to find her? I’m not big on letting the person that encouraged and then arranged for all this to happen to get away free.”

“How many contacts do you think she made?” Peter asked, sounding nervous.

“That’s not the point,” Bucky commented, pulling out a sniper rifle. He raised an eyebrow at Wade, who waved his hand in acceptance. Bucky then seemed to dive back in for ammunition.

“He’s right,” Wade said. “No one trusts their fucking contacts, especially the newbies. It takes months to develop the kind of relationship where you’d risk them protecting you from someone like Iron Man. Or this adorable, murderous thing here.”

“Hey-” Tony said.

“I’m taken,” Bucky said, calmly. “We need the oldest she’s stayed in contact with, that she would still turn to without any thought against it. Someone close, but no chance of romantic involvement.”

“Fury is pretty much in the wind, himself,” Rhodey said.

“No, he said oldest,” Wanda pointed out. “She knew Clint before she even accepted SHIELD’s offer. She said he saved her.” Wanda paused, mouth going tight from tension. “He’s with his family this week.”

“Shit,” Tony hissed, pulling out his phone and calling Carol. The ringtone lasted longer than was good for his heart, before she answered. “Carol? I’m putting you on speaker. I assume you’ve been briefed on what happened with Rogers.”

“Yes,” Carol growled out. “What’s the status over there? I’ve got a couple senators up my ass over Rogers being in custody. Apparently, they issued the pardon that helped get him out of here, all under the table and behind my back, and are now blaming us. Fucking fanboys.”

“Yeah, we need to know if you’ve seen Romanoff,” Tony said.

“Not since...not since she tried to antagonize you,” Carol admitted. “She had a free day after and with Rogers, things have been crazy. I’m assuming she had something to do with this?”

“More than you want to know,” Tony replied. “But we think we’ve got an angle. When was the last time you were in touch with Barton?”

“Yesterday,” Carol said. “He called me, for his usual check in. He’s required to once a day per his parole.”

“When does he have to call you today?” Rhodey asked.

“In three hours,” Carol replied. “What’s going on?”

“Spiders, birds, humans...they’ll always have loyalty, gets them killed,” Bucky said, his emotionless words even more off-putting by the way he was carefully inspecting the sniper rifle and loading it up.

“She’s been building a baseline of contacts for months now,” Rhodey said, glaring in Bucky’s direction, who didn’t seem to notice. “Honestly, I’m not sure if she even originally meant for her escape to involve Rogers.”

“She said he gave her the feeling of family,” Bucky commented. “She said she’d do anything for him just for that.”

“Okay, so that’s a lot of information to take in,” Carol admitted. “Are you guys safe right now?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Tony replied. “But we do think contacting Barton early would be a good idea, just say you have a meeting later and thought it would be best to get it out of the way.”

“Right, that I can do,” Carol said. “Tony, remember we’re going to need some of that BARF information about Rogers to help convict him, especially concerning your omega. With that and the other evidence we might be able to get him put away without release upon rehabilitation.”

“As soon as this is done, you’ll have it.”

“Always making things a little too interesting,” Carol muttered, before she hung up.

“So that’s it?” Wade demanded. “We just sit here like a fucking stripper pole with no stripper, waiting until Ms Hot Voice calls back?”

“Yes,” Tony said, tone hard. “We can’t go blasting into Barton’s place like we know everything, not when there are three kids to consider. We have to do this right, and if Carol can get information out of him, then I’m willing to wait. In the meantime... Friday?”

“Yes, Boss?” the voice echoed from both his phone and wristband.

“Keep an eye on all airports, Greyhound stations, or anything involving paid transportation out of the city for her face or description,” Tony ordered.

“No problem,” Friday replied. “Permission to trace her background, to provide myself a web of sorts to learn patterns from?”

“Always,” Tony said. “Also, bonus points for the pun.”

“Thank you, Boss,” she replied.

“Okay, I can’t be the only one who wants to bang the robot in the bracelet,” Wade announced.

“You wouldn’t be able to handle me, Mister Wilson,” Friday piped up. “Friday out, Boss.”

“Holy shit,” Wade whispered.

“So we wait,” Bucky stated, like that part of the conversation never happened. He moved over to where Peter was and sat down, his two chosen guns close to him. “I remember this, waiting for a target.”

“Ugh, you’re telling me,” Wade moaned, before dropping down in to a chair. “It’s the worst part. Unless-”

“There’s kids,” Bucky countered, glancing up at Wade, whose wince was visible through his mask.

“Shouldn’t we get closer to where Clint is, in case we need to move fast?” Peter asked.

“No, then she’ll definitely know we are on to her,” Rhodey said. “And if Barton is actually on her side, it’ll be enough to tip him off to warn her. He’s called Hawkeye for a reason. It’s not just because he can use an arrow with pinpoint accuracy. He’s trained himself to have superior sight, and being suspicious is just going to strengthen that.”

“Waiting is good,” Bucky said, looking up as his gaze focused on Tony. And Tony could feel it all along his body, like a look could actually devour him. Bucky’s mouth quirked up. “Waiting lets you imagine the ways it’ll happen. The ways you’ll react. Lets you prepare.”

“I swear, Stark, if you don’t want him, can I keep him?” Wade asked.

“Shut up, he is all mine,” Tony snapped, before turning a smile to Bucky, who merely smirked at him. Tony had to pray to whoever god that was on his side that his phone rang right then. Seeing it was Carol he put it on speaker. “Hey, you have all of us.”

“Clint is now freaking out, by the way,” Carol decided to start off with. “Romanoff has been in touch with him outside their training in the Compound, which was expected. But recently she has been asking him random questions, like if he still owned the barn property and how he now felt about Rogers, even if he missed SHIELD. He thought it was just her being antsy, the way she gets anytime she has to be in a place for a while.”

“Barn property?” Peter asked.

“It’s where his family used to live. After the rogue Avengers decided to run away from the law I pulled Laura and the kids out. Rhodey established a safer place for them,” Tony replied. “The farm hasn’t been occupied in over a year. Barton only holds the lease because we didn’t know what to do with it and Laura was too distraught to make a decision. It’s been background noise.”

“I assume you guys are going there then?” Carol asked. “Would you like back-up?”

“We’ll let you know.”

“Do you think you can take her alive?” Carol wondered. “No offense, but taking her alive would look a lot better with how little evidence she leaves around.”

“She’s barely human,” Bucky muttered. 

“He’s right,” Peter piped up, “No matter what happens, the courts are going to have trouble defining her identity, let alone going further and charging her. You can’t charge someone who doesn’t exist.” Tony shot him a look. “Ned is a hacker!”

“And with that brings up the point that unlike Rogers, who can be tried and let it go public, Romanoff will be a hidden example.” Carol made a noise of frustration. “We’re talking Guantanamo Bay level, with all the dirt this may kick up. She’s going to fight hard.”

“Do you really want her around, manipulating something like this again?” Tony asked.

“No,” Carol said. “She’s considered an Avengers level threat, that means you do what you have to. Just...don’t go overboard. Don’t become the monster. And call me sooner than you did in Rogers’ case. I’ll hit the air if you need me. I’d rather be there than with the politicians.”

“Done and done,” Tony replied, hanging up. He looked at the others and sighed. “So, farm house theory? Cause we’ll need transportation for that.”

“She views Clint as someone who will always be her safety net,” Wanda pointed out. “She wouldn’t risk where he actually lives.”

“It doesn’t hurt to check out. We could always get close and then do a flyby,” Rhodey replied.

“What if she’s still in the city?” Peter asked. “I mean, that’s possible, right? All of this could be a false trail.”

“He has a point,” Wade piped up. “I could keep digging up clues. I’m not big on group fights, too many bullets in the ass. And, well, junior here should probably stay away from any potential killing. Isn’t that what I was told?”

Tony glared at Wade, feeling the urge to keep Peter as close as possible, but then Bucky calmly stood and walked over to the mercenary. He leaned down and whispered something into Wade ear, which made Wade’s entire body jerk. Bucky then pulled back and looked at him, before patting him on the head in what had to of felt extremely condescending.

“Peter, you’ll stay here with Deadpool,” Bucky said.

“But-” Peter started.

“Your skills are best with distant sight, to see and hear as you swing by,” Bucky told him, intently. “You’ll get better at fighting, I’ll ensure it, but now I need you to gather information. Even if you drag that sassy little bitch across town. Understand?”

“Yes,” Peter immediately said, looking at Bucky in awe. Then he drew in a breath and looked over at Wade. “Ready to chase my ass around the city?”

“I’m not so old I can’t keep up,” Wade said, his tone odd as he sat straight in his seat. There was a pause. “Oh, there’s a shotgun that might interest you in the bedroom. Just, please, don’t put a scratch on Prim.”

“Done,” Bucky replied, immediately heading for the weapon. Tony had to wonder what Bucky had planned that he needed so much ammunition, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he brought up his phone again and set up a jet for Iowa.

“Do you really think she made it that far?” Rhodey asked, after he was done. 

“She was days, if not longer ahead of us in planning. My jet would still be faster than whatever she took, and we can land close enough without using an airport, so if it’s the place then we’ll be able to catch her,” Tony replied.

“The bigger question is...” Rhodey said, stepping closer for fewer ears. “How long do you think Bucky can keep this up?”

Tony turned watery eyes to Rhodey, the only true emotion he was able to show. “I don’t care how long, I want my Bucky back. I’m grateful for how he’s so into the cause, but… I feel like he’s drifting away from me. He got triggered into that Soldier mentality while being drugged and in fight mode. Now… I’m really scared, Rhodey.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Rhodey said, pulling Tony into a hug. “He’s still your omega and your alpha. Figures you’d need both. But he’s completely perfect for you, even when he’s glaring at me with murder in his eyes. Yeah, I need to stop touching you now.”

*

The near silent engine of the jet was familiar to Bucky. He had flown in one of Tony’s jets before. The distant memory, the distant feelings, were still there. He could call them up, look at them from every angle. He wasn’t sure he actually understood them, but he could remember. The feel of Steve standing over him, dominance and fake caring in his every gesture as he made the assumption of Bucky being his.

“Hey, Snowflake, come on, you’re going to hurt yourself,” a soft voice said, cutting right through the image of Steve’s fake smile. Bucky blinked and looked down at Tony’s hand over his, where he had been clenching his knife. His thumb had been pressing against the actual blade, and he lifted his hand to look at the swell of blood curiously. “Here’s, let me, well, it should be clean.”

Bucky stared blankly as Tony pressed what could only be a red cloth that had never been taken out of Tony’s pocket since the last time he worked on one of his cars. He noticed the small grease stain on one corner and couldn’t help the brief smile that escaped him. “It’s fine.”

“Mister Big and Brave,” Tony teased. “What are you doing back here?”

“Sitting,” he replied. 

“Well, I don’t like flying alone, so come on,” Tony said, standing and tugging at Bucky’s arm.

Bucky followed Tony up to the front of the plane, sitting down and watching as Tony got settled. His eyes followed the swift, smart movements of Tony’s fingers, before he dragged his eyes toward the view. Flying a plane seemed familiar, too. Distant. Everything was distant.

“I know you’re in Soldier mode and I totally get it, you’ve gone through way too much and that’s not even just the past day or two,” Tony said, keeping his voice low so the others couldn’t hear. “But, I’m going to be completely honest here. You’re kind of scaring me.”

Bucky’s eyes snapped back over to Tony’s form, suddenly looking small as the man hunched in on himself. He didn’t say anything, what could he say? ‘I’m sorry?’ No, he couldn’t because he wasn’t. He had spent the past few months, the past year feeling so much every day. He was finally safe from that. Bucky needed to be away from that.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting you to just…apologize or whatever, and you shouldn’t need to apologize regardless. None of this was your fault. I just,” Tony made a frustrated noise, “I just want to know what’s happening in your head. It might be only one little spider bitch we’re going after, but I’ve seen her take down a fleet of big guys like it was dancing, and I don’t want to be distracted. So, please, just-”

Bucky slid off his seat, cupped Tony’s face, and kissed him. He tried for gentle, despite wanting to go hard and fast. He must have done it correctly, because Tony leaned into him. Tony pulled back, pressing their foreheads together and letting out a small humming sound. And Bucky had a moment there where he felt good, right. “I’m with you.”

“Okay, that-” Tony cut himself off. “That’s good. I’m with you, too.”

“I can only…” Bucky cleared his throat, trying to push through the fog of not feeling to find the perfect words. “I’m not scared of how I feel with you. I just need to rest sometimes.”

Tony’s eyebrows scrunched together and Bucky could almost see his brain processing Bucky’s words like a computer. Finally, Tony looked down at the jet’s console and then up through the front windows. After a few minutes he looked back at Bucky with a soft smile. “Rest as long as you need. I don’t mind a Soldier visiting when he needs.”

Bucky kissed him quick and hard.

“Okay guys, stop being cute,” Rhodey piped up. “We should be close.”

“Time for that hunt you’ve been wanting, Snowflake,” Tony whispered to him. Bucky found himself grinning and knew it sharp with an edge to it that showed a sadistic side because that’s who he was right then, and he had no fundamental way of caring whether there was something wrong with that. The only care he could pull up was for the ridiculously smart man in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, here this is. So the thing is, the go home and screw and ya Bucky's normal again could not have worked. There is way too much trauma there for that to work. And then my brain did this thing, and I was like. Oh, huh. Okay. 
> 
> So rejoice, for the Winter Soldier gets to play!
> 
> Also, lol, this would have been posted four hours ago, but I put on a stupid movie that I found on Peacock app to have on the tv in the background for random noise while I edited, only to get SUPER BORED guys, you have no idea, from the vanilla sex scenes. So I had to get up and dust. Don't know why that was my reaction, but apparently Fifty Shades Darker makes me so bored I clean. 
> 
> Anyway, Next Chapter: Natasha! and other things.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda proud of this.

Tony watched Bucky stand still, like a coil ready to snap. They were waiting in the jet, where it was parked just over a mile away from the farm, as Rhodey did a quick flyby for any sign of human life. He could see Wanda sending Bucky a worried look, her body growing more and more tense as her own instincts told her that the omega was in distress. He turned to Bucky. “You okay there, Soldier?”

“Yes, sir,” Bucky replied, tone tense.

“Okay, wow, I was not meaning for you to call me sir,” Tony said, trying to ignore the strange little thrill he got from that. He reached out and placed his hand on Bucky’s hip, causing the man to look over to him. “But, Snowflake, you have to calm down. Wanda if feeding off of your unhappy not-quite-but-kind-omega tension. She doesn’t need that torture.”

“I am fine, Tony,” Wanda piped up. “I understand his stress and no, you are not quiet enough for me to not hear you.”

“Harsh,” Tony commented. 

There was a clank as Rhodey landed on the lowered back of the plane, the man striding forward in his suit in such an intensity that Tony already knew it was going to be bad news. They all waited for Rhodey to exit the War Machine armor, the fact he did so and immediately began pacing showing no good signs. 

“How many?” Bucky asked.

Rhodey paused, looking at Bucky, before shaking his head and letting out a very tired sigh. “I read at least thirty on the property, arranged in your basic perimeter style. Four were grouped inside the house, one of which I assume was Romanoff.”

Tony paused, watching as Bucky began properly strapping on the rifle and shotgun in preparation. “Do we know who these other people are, though?”

“I didn’t recognize anyone from the outside,” Rhodey replied.

Tony strode over to the jet’s console. “Fri? Could you analyze the video feed in the War Machine suit for facial recognition?”

“Of course, one moment Boss,” she replied.

“Right, well, while she’s doing that we need to come up with some kind of game plan,” Tony said. “There is no way these people have been here long, and if they have Barton most likely doesn’t know what they are doing. So, what’s the plan?”

Bucky was staring at Wanda, the two of them seeming to have a strange conversation. Finally, Wanda sighed. “Sleeping swipe.”

“Uh, what?” Rhodey asked.

“HYDRA liked to do a sleeping swipe on any outside security,” she explained.

“For my time as well,” Bucky added. “I wouldn’t kill everyone, killing causes…noise.”

“No, we’d subdue,” Wanda agreed. “My brother and I would sweep through and disengage the outside perimeter as silently as we could. He was naturally better by speed, but my men would stay down longer.”

“There are simple pressure points to make someone fall asleep, certain neck holds,” Bucky said, his gaze intense as he stared at Wanda. “Too long it kills, just right? And they sleep the entire time.”

Tony looked between them, suddenly realizing the actual connection these two people had. It was something he would never understand. He was kind of thankful of that, because the way they spoke was almost terrifying. Tony swallowed and squeezed the hip his hand was resting on, taking comfort that Bucky’s eyes immediately zeroed in on him. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Wanda and I go in, take down the outside,” Bucky said. “The two of you come in after that, and we blast our way into the inside to surprise the remaining.”

“Seems too simple,” Rhodey commented.

“Sadly, it usually is,” Wanda replied, her eyes glancing down at her hand, before looking away from them with a blank face.

“Boss?” Friday’s voice took over the room. “I have what little I was able to gather.”

“Let’s hear it,” Tony replied. He immediately knew he was going to hear something he didn’t like and, instinctively, he stepped closer to Bucky’s side. 

“I’ve been able to identify fifteen individuals from SHIELD files. They are former agents, just as Romanoff is. Due to SHIELD essentially disbanding, their work history is blank,” Friday replied. “There are no names of importance, however. It appears they are a collection of those left with nowhere to go since SHIELD broke apart.”

“Well that’s fucking perfect,” Rhodey said.

“Fanatics, lovely,” Tony agreed. “I’m sure Romanoff has them eating out of her hand. Anyone else who wants to go back to when this was just a rescue mission?”

Bucky turned to him, a strange smile on his face. Tony suddenly felt himself crowded against the wall of the jet before Bucky bypassed his lips entirely in order to kiss his way down Tony’s jaw to his neck. Then he kissed the bonding mark that they both held, making Tony let out a high-pitched mewl when Bucky bit down. Panting, hands holding Bucky’s shoulders, he stared at Bucky with blatant desire.

“Be safe,” Bucky ordered, before he turned away and left Tony without his heat and scent surrounding him in comfort. Bucky nodded to Wanda, who easily followed Bucky down the ramp.

“Okay, so they’re going to get rid of the perimeter,” Rhodey said with lack of anything else to say. 

“Yes, we are,” Wanda’s voice came through the comms. “Don’t worry, you’ll get time to play.”

“Those two might give me a heart attack,” Tony commented in some twisted amusement. “In the meantime, we should check in with Peter.”

*

While Bucky loved to finally have proper weapons on him, he definitely didn’t want to cheat on this. And while everyone would think this was a Soldier thing, well, it was himself just wanting to be competitive. Wanda met his eyes, ten feet away, from where they had been watching the patterns of the men and women before them.

He felt himself settle. He was himself. He had left his one true emotion with Tony, gave it to him in a bite that had sent a strong thrill through them both. Apparently he was a romantic, because the idea appealed to him.

Thirty individuals were out there, waiting to be brought down. Bucky glanced at Wanda again, knowing they were both in agreement. No kills. Which meant speed and silence in what they both had planned. Bucky could see a small spark of red, but it was minor, and he knew it wouldn’t show their position.

“I’ve got a clear arc to the left, ready to go when you are,” Wanda’s voice said over the comm.

Bucky’s eyes darted around, taking in space and the number of people one more time. “Go.”

From there they were both silent. The first four people were easy, merely a muffled sound of shock before enough blood stopped heading to their brain from an easy thumb pressure sent them down. He paused there, crouched down and viewing his next target. He couldn’t see Wanda’s progress, but he had no doubt she was doing her job.

He moved through the same pattern, smirking as he noticed just how lazy these so-called SHIELD agents had become. He almost wished for a fight, something to get his blood racing. He was at the farmhouse, back to the wall, knowing there were only a few left. He paused, settling himself so that he could just listen.

A small giggle came over the comm and he paused right when he was going to step out. Wanda's voice, in such a small whisper that even he was barely able to hear it, “Sorry, got caught from behind, his fingers tickled before I took him down.”

“Our status?” Bucky asked.

“Clean, looks like three left on my end,” Wand replied. “Nearing the house.”

“At the house. I don’t see anyone, but feel two nearby,” Bucky replied. He said nothing more, dropping into a small crouch and slowly making his way along the wall until he was able to see those lingering on the back porch. He was wrong, there were three.

He was patient. Bucky always had been, even before HYDRA. He creeped as close as he could and settled in for a small wait. The three on the porch were standing around fully relaxed, drinking and laughing. He zoned in on their beverage - beer, of course - and smirked. This was going to be easy. 

Bucky saw a brief flash of red around the other side of the house, but it was faint and no one reacted to the tiny burst of color. Then he saw a portion of her face peer around the corner, gaze darting around before landing on him. She tilted her head, eyes questioning. He gave a nod, waiting as she clearly drew herself to her full height before stepping out in full view.

“What-?” one of the men said, spotting her. 

“Room for one more?” she asked, before flicking her fingers and sending a nearly invisible shot of red at the nearest man. He dropped immediately. 

She turned to the other two, but Bucky was already there. One man had dropped down as she had cast her spell, and he now held the last in his arms, his only arm holding tight and the man struggled before becoming limp. Bucky let him drop, knowing the sound would be mistaken by their near drunken status causing clumsiness. They stood there in complete silence. He could almost feel her reaching out to see if there was anyone left. He was certain there wasn’t. 

“Tony,” he said softly in the comm.

“You guys okay out there?” Tony’s voice came through, and he felt a part of him relax. He ignored Wanda’s fond look as she watched him. “It’s only been maybe ten minutes.”

“Everyone on the outside is down, move in,” Bucky ordered.

“Seriously?” Tony asked.

“Do you argue with the quality of our training?” Wanda asked, a small grin appearing on her face when Tony sputtered. “We are at the back. I think a front entrance? We wouldn’t want to deny you your theatrics. Bucky?”

“Sounds perfect,” Bucky agreed.

“Actually, I’m going to attach a sound amplifier with an audio recorder to the wall first,” Tony said. “It’ll be linked in with our comms, I want to know what’s going on in there.”

Bucky felt a surge of pride at Tony’s clever thinking. That was his...alpha? Kind of, he had difficulty saying the words to himself. But he was happy to settle on the porch, picking up someone’s unopened beer as he waited.

*

Tony knew full well that the Iron Man suit, and the War Machine one by extension, was not hard to spot in the sky. That wasn’t really going through his mind as he carefully flew in and attached the recording device to the front wall of the farmhouse. He kept his blasters as dulled in light and sound as possible as he joined Rhodey. He looked down at the ground below them and was a little disturbed by the number of unconscious bodies he spotted.

“Here we go,” Rhodey said, keeping his tone light.

The voices came up, sounding almost too loud and too familiar.

_”You lost us the one thing we would have had to keep us credible,” a very familiar voice said. But then, Tony would never forget a man who left him to die with only an order to fix it himself. “This isn’t what I meant, Natasha, when I said we need to work on reforming.”_

“That’s Fury,” Rhodey said, immediately tensing.

_”You asked for a team, I’ve given you what I can. Steve isn’t...he didn’t have the capability to work through his faults,” Romanoff said in a tight voice. “I tried to make it work. You want someone to blame? Blame Barnes for denying him, blame Stark for being the kind of alpha that can lure Barnes away. If we had Barnes, you’d have your damn Captain America.”_

_“Barnes and Stark will be dealt with,” Fury said in a dismissive manner. “We need to have a base, and you pretty much ruined your ability to help in that. Congratulations, no one trusts you.”_

“Well, shit,” Tony breathed out. 

_”I’m expecting you to salvage this,” Fury snapped. “We need more quality individuals than this. Have you spoke with Barton?”_

_“It’s not going to happen,” she replied, a little too quickly. “Don’t you look at me like that, Clint would be a bigger liability right now than ever. He’s got his family back and is leaving us behind. Get over it, Fury.”_

_“The world knows about us, thanks to Rogers’ pyrotechnics on the Potomac and your fun with computers,” Fury growled. “We can’t hide in the shadows this time around, which means we have to have a good figurehead.”_

_“Everything is fine, I saw the arrest footage,” Romanoff insisted. “Rogers was doped up with Aphrodite’s Lust, there is no way he’ll be able to even tell them I was there, let alone give enough details. By the time it’s out of his system, he’ll be the bad guy, and I’ll look like the innocent scapegoat.”_

_“You think it’ll be that easy, huh?” Fury asked, snorting._

_“I’m not the one who tried to rape Tony Stark’s boyfriend,” she replied. “I never even touched him. All eyes are going to be on Steve Rogers.”_

“Can I go kill her now?” Tony growled. He was having a hard time just keeping his suit hovering in the air, when all he wanted to do was release his mini rockets and simply blow the farmhouse up.

“It may not be enough,” Wanda commented, her own voice tense.

_”What about the war orphan? That’s a good look, making a proper American out of her and bringing her into a real crime fighting fold,” Fury said, curiously._

_“No, she’s unpredictable,” Romanoff replied. “Besides, she’s been in meetings with Danvers a lot recently. Pretty sure she’s moved over to Stark’s side.”_

_“We’ll have to get Stark back again, sooner or later, Romanoff,” Fury commented. “We need funding. Stark’s got plenty to spare. If only he was more like his dad. Howard wasn’t big on running out and saving the day. He understood what it meant to just be a checkbook.”_

“Yeah, we can go now,” Rhodey ground out.

Tony immediately swooped down, gauntlets out and sending beams out to shatter the large bay windows at the front of the house. He landed inside the kitchen, Rhodey right next to him, before striding forward. He raised his face plate, giving the air of not caring. He loved how Fury’s face scrunched up just slightly at the mild dig of how Tony wasn’t intimidated by him. “Oh, did you start the meeting without me? Oh, shoot, I forgot the pastries. Rhodey, I forgot pastries and coffee! Oh man, you’d think I’d never been to a business meeting before.”

“You’re the worst person in the world,” Rhodey said dryly, not lifting his own face plate and standing at Tony’s side like a very angry doberman pinscher. 

“Stark, is there a particular reason you’re here?” Fury asked. Typical Fury style, to completely ignore the negative vibe of the room and pretend he had everything under control. Tony wondered how he could have bought into his bullshit to begin with.

“Yes, actually,” Tony said, seeing Wanda and Bucky move in from the back door. Wanda gave a small nod, indicating the last two guards had been taken care of. Tony smiled. “We’re here for Romanoff. Rhodey?”

“As the officially sanctioned policing force of the Avengers, I hereby take you, Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow, into custody until a further investigation or hearing is established,” Rhodey said, using what Tony had always called his military voice. This time it felt powerful, like a command echoing around the room. He saw Bucky close his eyes for a second and even Fury, who was the most dominant and stubborn Beta he’d ever met, had a mild flinch.

“And my charges?” Romanoff asked casually.

“Kidnapping, attack on an omega,” Rhodey paused, “oh, wait, two actually, one of which was a minor. Purchase of illegal drugs. Conspiracy to aid in the debonding and rape of an omega. Do I really have to continue?”

“Natasha, don’t,” Fury warned, but Romanoff clearly wasn’t listening. 

By the look of her eyes, she had hit panic mode.

Three bright sparks shot through the air, the spider bites hitting Rhodey’s face plate. The shocks caused the man to curse and Tony knew well enough that his visuals were flickering like crazy. Tony raised his gauntlet, the light growing as the beam charged and Fury reacted with a gun pointed at his head. Then, everything went crazy as Bucky responded.

*

A rush of anger ran through him, the strongest emotion he had felt since the needle had injected into his neck. The room seemed to flash almost red and Bucky rushed forward, pulling the shotgun off his back. Thankfully, it was a short barrel, so he was able to maneuver it with one hand easily, cocking it and pointing it where Romanoff had launched herself at Rhodey. He ignored the others in the room, pulling the trigger and hearing a scream.

Both Romanoff and Rhodey went down. The shot had blasted a hole in the side of Rhodey’s suit, but it was off enough to not cause the man any bodily damage. Romanoff on the other hand rolled off the man and began painfully scooting backward, dragging her damaged leg with her. Bucky took a moment to stare at the damaged flesh of her calf and the exposed shattered bone of her shin.

He smirked, looked like he was no longer going to be the only one missing a limb.

He saw a blast of red to his right and glanced over in time to see Wanda hit Fury with her magic. Unlike the others, she didn’t knock him out. Instead, he crumbled down, holding his head as sounds of fear and pain escaped him. 

Turning back, he stalked toward Romanoff, easily angling to the side when she tossed one of those spider bites at him. He tossed the shotgun on a nearby chair and pulled out a knife. He wanted to take his time. He needed to hear her scream. He knelt down in front of her and jabbed the tip of the knife in her leg, watching as even more blood spilled out. She screamed, before gathering the energy to react by punching him in the face.

He tasted blood on his tongue and grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ll be with you, all the way to the end of the line.”

The words came naturally and he remembered. He remembered saying them to Steve. He remembered saying them to his kills, one after another. Because he was always there, he always stayed to make sure their eyes went blank and their chests became empty of air. Bucky breathed deep, smelling the blood filling the room.

“Snowflake?” Tony spoke up, but it was distant. Like he was too far away for Bucky to find. “We’ve got Fury subdued. We can take them in, do this right.”

“I protect you,” Bucky stated.

“Yeah, baby, you protect me,” Tony agreed.

“Then let me protect you,” Bucky growled out. He didn’t look over, he had to keep his eyes on the spider bitch in front of him, who was still moving, still plotting despite everything. He dug the knife fully into the mutilating mess of her calf muscle, grinning when she clearly bit through her tongue to not scream.

“You’re not going to get away with this, Stark,” Fury said in a weak voice.

He heard Tony’s beam building up, the high-pitched whine sounding beautiful to his ears as Tony said in a mocking voice, “Oh dear, heaven forbid we be heroes.”

He heard movement, his mind already mapping out the room, the people. He knew who was moving and what was happening without looking over. There was a click of a gun and the knife in his hand, covered in Romanoff’s blood, was yanked out and thrown. He only glanced over for a second to see that it landed on target, embedded just under Fury’s collarbone. He’d live. He’d get more torture in the humiliation of prison than death.

But Natasha Romanoff was another story entirely. He turned back to her and cocked his head. “They want you alive. Do you want to be alive?”

“Just do it,” she hissed.

“Are we going to let him do this?” he heard Rhodey say.

“You told me he had to finish his mission,” Tony said weakly. Too weakly.

It set off an alarm in Bucky’s head, those protective instincts driving this desire to eliminate becoming confused. He suddenly realized that Tony didn’t want him to do this. Didn’t want him to fully go back to that place. He blinked in confusion and saw, despite all the pain she was in, Romanoff start to smirk.

“Wanda?” he called out, watching with an inner glee when Romanoff’s expression turned to fear.

Wanda dropped into the crouch next to him, face scrunching up as she took in the state that Romanoff was in. “Tony doesn’t want her dead.”

“What did you do to Fury?” he asked.

“A taste of what he wanted,” Wanda replied softly. “It’s kind of been my specialty, putting the mind in its darkest place. His were swarmed with... I’m not sure, he was very hard to see. I could only give it to him, not witness it. I’ve been doing so many exercises to control it that it didn’t last as long as it usually does.”

“Tony doesn’t want me to be a monster,” Bucky commented. He didn’t actually care, but he did care about Tony. That was enough to change his mind about cutting her face off before killing her.

“I’ve found its kind of his thing,” Wanda said carefully.

“Can you put her in a place, just a place.” Bucky watched Romanoff stare at them. She was in too much pain and was clearly entering shock, there was no chance she could speak up on her own behalf. “She thinks she’s so smart, doesn’t she?”

“Give me a moment,” Wanda said, reaching out and smiling a little when Romanoff flinched. Moments later little swirls of red were entering her temple and Romanoff moaned, eyes flickering. Finally, after what felt like too long in Bucky’s mind, Wanda pulled back short of breath. “She’ll be lost in it for a few hours. Enough to get her moved.”

“God, you two are creepy as fuck,” Rhodey breathed, from where he was trying to pry a burnt part of his suit off from around his leg. Bucky stood and moved to help him, his strength with one hand making the task much easier. Rhodey gave him a thankful look as he accepted Bucky’s hand to get to his feet. “I have to ask, what is she seeing?”

“All I could see was a ballet class, then someone telling her congratulations as she was put under for some surgery,” Wanda replied. “It kept looping.”

“We have to do something about her wound if we’re going to move her,” Tony commented.

“Your beams,” Rhodey said. Tony looked at him confused. “What? Put them on the lowest setting and cauterize the exposed veins. Tones, I wear that suit in war, I sometimes have to get soldiers prepped enough to survive until they get to medical. I learned to adapt the suit to my advantage. I’ll walk you through it.”

*

Things seemed too normal. Well, not really. Rogers had finally left his heat, but the Aphrodite’s Lust had altered him and now, like Bucky, it seemed like he shifted between alpha and omega. Though that was only with a few days' observation. And Tony could probably guarantee he didn’t hold it as gracefully as Bucky did.

Bucky, on the other hand. It had been a week of a Bucky who was more Soldier stalking through his home. The Soldier who was adapting to his environment in, oddly, much the same way that Bucky had initially. Unsure of what Bucky needed, he had taken him down Bucky’s floor. It hadn’t been used in quite a while, but Tony wondered if maybe space was actually what Bucky needed.

Bucky had simply responded by pinning him to a wall, lifting him up and grinding against him until he came. Then with a smug expression, he had taken the elevator back to Tony’s floor. Tony could admit that Bucky in this mental state had a certain quality that he definitely appreciated. 

But parts were missing. The laugh when one of the bots did something silly. The happy engagement when Peter explained something to him. No, Tony had to fix this, and he had an idea that...probably wasn’t a good one, but that never stopped him.

He asked Bucky to meet him in the BARF room. The man’s suspicious look was clear as day when he entered. But Tony was determined. Because he loved all of Bucky, even the crazy side, so he wanted all of it there. They only had one emotion left and Tony had a hope that it would be enough to give Bucky some kind of security.

“Reading for the last emotion test?” Tony asked, acting casual. Bucky narrowed his eyes at him. “Look, I get you’re in a strange mental state, but I still have to encourage this. We are way behind, babe. We should have been working on your triggers a couple of months ago. So, just humor me?”

“Fine,” Bucky said in a grumpy tone, sitting down in the chair and scowling at the sensors Tony brought over.

“It’s just me, stop growling,” Tony teased. He leaned in and rubbed his nose against Bucky cheek, content when the man relaxed. “All you need to do is think about when you’ve felt love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM BABY. That last section was part of my initial ending...for chapter 14. lol, that's right, I outlined this to be 15 chapters. What? I dunno. Regardless, I'm very happy with this chapter. Almost went Jigsaw with gore, but then realized it didn't fit the story so I subdued it. lol.
> 
> On a side note! I plan a small little fic thing for what would have happened if Tony never showed up after Bucky injected Steve with Aphrodite's Lust. Warning, major triggers. 
> 
> Which might then trigger my need for another Steve Rogers vs the Internet. Cause, the idea is hilarious. OMG, why does Google know where I am? Must be terrorists. XD XD XD Sorry, can't help myself.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cries* DON'T LEAVE ME.

Tony watched Bucky’s face carefully, noting the clear differences from the Bucky he was used to in this room. He sat behind the computer, seeing the pure tension in the man’s face. He wondered how this was going to go. The Bucky he had been working with was a near artist in memory creation, something that developed data that was going to help him bring this technology to a level to help veterans and victims of trauma. This Bucky, he did could not say.

He brought the program up, feeling his heart oddly pounding in his chest. When he looked back up, Bucky’s eyes were trained on him in the same way that they had been all this week. And even, if Tony was being honest, since the moment they met.

“Okay, I know you know the process,” Tony said, ignoring the smirk sent his way. “I just need you to focus on love. I know with you, it’s probably not going to be a single image and that’s totally fine. We’re looking for data right now. Remember, we can do this as many times as needed, no wrong moves.”

“Get on with it, Tony,” the rough sound of Bucky’s Soldier voice said.

“Right,” Tony replied, swallowing. “I want you to close your eyes, and take in your mind and body. Then I need you to draw up the memory that you most felt loved. When you are ready, when you feel it the most, I want you to send it out like you are projecting it onto a screen.”

Tony felt tense as he waited. Bucky was as he was before, it seemed pulling from the Soldier side didn’t affect the way Bucky went about creating his memories and the world around him. The similarity let Tony relax some. Then, in its dramatic usual way, the room exploded in colors.

Tony looked, feeling almost awkward, as he saw a young Bucky Barnes hugging his mother. She had tears in her eyes, but cupped his face. _“I’m so proud of you.”_

Flashes of him in boot camp filled the room, his struggle to fight and keep strong, dominating any limitations he had. A quick image of him receiving the title of Sergeant. A single flash of Steve Rogers, already with the serum, bringing him home.

Then, the images became less frantic, almost like Bucky’s brain had a harder time finding moments where he felt any kind of love. The entire room went dark, darker than the lights were capable of doing, when they were merely meant to dim. His computer screen was the only light in the room and Tony nearly stood, worried. He heard a small sound from Bucky’s direction and realized that Bucky's mind was literally blank, that he was struggling to find any memory of love after Rogers rescued him.

Tony considered shutting everything off, not sure if he could handle the near angry sounding sob that echoed through the room.

Then the room changed. It took a red tint and Tony felt...nervous. The projection was to fit the memory. And the memory was love, why would the room around him be red tinted? Then the image of Bucky standing, half covered in blood, with three of the alpha soldiers that Tony remembered. They were even more bloody than Bucky.

It wasn’t until Tony realized that this had to of been after Bucky’s training of the other Soldiers, that he saw the almost careful way the three alphas were looking at Bucky. Tony didn’t know where the others were and all thoughts about them fled as these three tilted their head and bared their neck to Bucky. Showing him respect, accepting him. The Bucky in the memory looked confused, before his face smoothed over into blankness as he tentatively accepted their gesture.

The scene shifted to a large man entering a room through a door across from where Bucky was laying on a cot and curled up as though to protect himself. He was naked and clearly covered in a large amount of ejaculation. He was shaking from obvious pain and a fever, and Tony had no doubt that he had been at the end of his heat. The large man that entered held something in his hand. As he drew closer to Bucky, he shook it out revealing a blanket. The man laid it over him and when Bucky jerked in shock and looked up, the man pet his head and said, _“You’re good, omega. It’s okay, sleep.”_

What happened next was a bright flash, almost a pulsing, before a single color filled the room. Tony held his breath. He had been expecting Rogers to take a bigger part in it eventually. He just wasn’t expecting this.

The room was a clear blue and all he could hear was Roger’s voice. Him verbally claiming Bucky, all the things that he must have said to Bucky in the last year or so. All a twisted version of love that wasn’t real love. Tony almost wanted to shut it down, and he felt a rumble of a growl try to escape him. But then the blue morphed to an actual image, of Bucky having his panic attack as he went into heat/rut. The voice of Rogers didn’t stop until the image of Tony crawling toward Bucky appeared, hoping to make the man feel safer.

It was at this point that Tony wondered if Bucky was manipulating the scenes, making him see what Tony hoped for more than anything in the world. Because the scenes before him now were more clear and perfect than those earlier, but then all of what he was seeing was Bucky and him. He looked over a Bucky and saw a small smile on his face. That alone made Tony relax.

This was real.

He could only look on as they shared their first kiss. As he fell asleep during movie night and Bucky gently eased him down until Tony’s head lay on his thigh. 

There were flashes of a heat that Bucky barely remembered, but the room glowed in a warm sepia hue as Tony held him, caressed him. Of fevered kissing and the languid rocking of their bodies.

Then it ended, with a final image of Tony entering the abandoned house to save Bucky, not that the man really needed it. But in that last scene, the way Bucky looked at him wasn’t really what Tony remembered it being at the time, but it was apparently how Bucky recalled it. His face was open, eyes wide and lips parted, and there was this look of desperate want on his face that was nearly overshadowed by a sad longing. Like Tony was too good for Bucky to touch.

Tony stood and walked around the table, avoiding the hologram and trying to walk around it. It was a moot point, as the images suddenly shut down and the lights raised to reveal Bucky sitting in his chair and a soft, vulnerable look on his face as Tony came closer. Silently, Tony reached up and began pulling off the sensors, lightly touching Bucky’s skin after each one came off. 

After they were tossed to the side, Tony stepped between Bucky’s thighs and cupped the man’s face, kissing him softly. He heard Bucky give a small whimper, before Bucky surged up and deepened the kiss, wrapping his arm around Tony’s waist in order to bring them flush together. Then, Bucky was backing Tony up just a bit. He kissed him again and took hold of Tony’s hand in order to pull him out of the room. He nearly yelled for Friday to start analyzing the data, but he didn’t want to disturb this strange and intense silence they had going.

Bucky pulled him into the elevator and immediately pressed him into the wall, kissing him as Friday took over the controls to take them to their resident floor. Tony moaned into Bucky’s mouth, letting out a sad sound when Bucky stepped back and tugged him through the now open elevator doorway.

Tony could tell that Bucky was guiding him to the bedroom, and it was a direction he was all for. Seeing those images, seeing actual scientific proof of how much Bucky loved him and knowing he loved him just the same, he was willing to let Bucky take him anywhere. 

Before he even realized it they were in their bedroom and Bucky was pressing him down, shuffling Tony back and covering him with his body and oh, god, that was nice. Tony arched up, moaning at the hard press of Bucky’s body against him, holding him in place by strength and weight. 

“Yeah,” Bucky whispered, kissing Tony’s cheek and nuzzling the five o’clock shadow there. “Tony, wanna take you.”

The way it was breathed into his ear set his skin on fire, and he knew he was blushing like mad. They’d never really talked about it, aside from Bucky’s clear statements in Soldier mode, but Tony knew it was going to happen eventually. He gasped as Bucky ground down against him, mind flashing to the many images from Bucky’s vivid memories, “Bucky.”

“Tell me what you want,” Bucky said softly, knees nudging Tony’s legs apart just a little more. And, shit, he was fully dressed and yet felt exposed. Bucky was kissing his ear, biting down his neck until he bit down hard on the bonding mark.

Tony reacted by rolling his hips up and tilting his head back. Damn, was this how omegas felt? He had no idea, and he had always known there was something fundamentally wrong with him by average standards because letting Bucky manhandle him felt amazing. He forced himself to look directly at Bucky, taking in his blown pupils and the curve of his mouth. The Soldier was still there, but it was softer, not as intense. Or so Tony hoped. “I…”

“Yes?”

“I’ve never let anyone...penetrate me,” Tony admitted in a nervous tone, hoping his more clinical term would make it somehow less embarrassing.

A rumble echoed from Bucky’s chest and the man rolled his hips against Tony again, creating another gasp from him. Bucky’s nose nudged Tony’s head back, and he laid a few kisses along his jawline on his way to Tony’s ear. Tony shivered at the intensity of Bucky’s lips against the delicate curve of his ear. “Now why would I assume a strong, beautiful alpha like you would bend for just anyone?”

“Oh, god, we need to get naked,” Tony said in a rush, feeling like he couldn’t breathe, because holy crap he was actually going to be okay with this happening.

Bucky smirked, in a total classic Soldier expression, before sitting up and pulling off his own shirt. Bucky had never hid the evidence of the removal of his arm, but he’d never broadcast it either. This Bucky seemed to find Tony’s random glance at it amusing. But then he was reaching for Tony’s jeans, clearly expecting Tony to take off his own shirt. Tony enthusiastically yanked it off and tossed it to the side.

They had seen each other naked by now of course, even if they had never actually had sex past the shower incident outside of Bucky’s heat. But there was an odd nervousness in Tony as Bucky methodically yanked off his jeans and boxer briefs like they were useless pieces of cloth. Then it was just Bucky in his own jeans while Tony lay there, knowing he was rock hard and...not sure what to do about it.

Thankfully, Bucky had enough sense to him - unlike Tony - to grab the tube of lubricant from the side table drawer and toss it onto the bed. He crawled up onto the bed, using his one hand to push Tony’s legs apart with a lot more enthusiasm than he was expecting. Bucky was hovering over him, the strength in his body enough for him to not even have to prop himself up with his arm. No, his hand was lightly running down Tony’s chest. Fingers delicately traced a scar here or there, but it was mostly a gentle caress that nearly took Tony’s breath away.

Suddenly feeling frantic, Tony scrambled to unbutton and unzip Bucky’s jeans. And, damn, he was embarrassed at how Bucky had to end up helping him, kicking jeans and boxers away. The asshole was chuckling and everything. “Just get down here, shit, I’m going to die.”

Bucky chuckled and leaned down, his body slowly touching Tony, slowly pressing his weight down on him. Tony groaned, feeling a kiss to his cheek. “You’re sounding a bit omega, babe.”

It took Tony a moment to reply, the feel of Bucky just pressing him down and grinding against him almost too much. “Not - fuck - not ashamed.”

“Oh baby,” Bucky ground down hard, causing Tony to whimper, “never be ashamed. So perfect like this.”

“Please,” Tony gasped out. “I won’t freak out on you, I swear, but if you’re gonna...you gotta do it now.”

Bucky suddenly sat up, but he didn’t reach for the lube right away. Instead, his hand slid along Tony’s stomach again, the roughness of his fingertips from years of hard work and weapon handling. Tony could feel his stomach muscles tensing, tightening even more when Bucky’s hand grasping his erection. 

Tony could admit, it had been a while since he had been directly touched like that, and he had to grit his teeth as Bucky stroked him a few times. Then Bucky’s hand slipped down and pushed one of his legs out, exposing him more and Tony felt himself tense in a different way. He was an alpha, the idea of submitting like this was foreign. But the way Bucky was looking at him made him start to relax again as he reached for the tube of lube. 

He honestly never thought he’d be using it this way, but then Bucky gave him that odd half-smirk and half-soft smile before handing it to him, Tony was quick to open it and squeezed some on Bucky’s fingers. 

The first finger felt normal, Tony was a healthy male who grew up attracted to men even before he presented. One finger was nothing. The second held a burn that made the air escape him, but his hips rocked into it. It was at the third finger he reached out and grabbed Bucky’s shoulder and whined.

“You’re so perfect, Tony, look at you,” Bucky growled, leaning in as his fingers kept working. Tony felt a kiss on his chest, where the worst of the scaring was. “All for me.”

“Yes, yours,” Tony rasped out, trying to process how good he was feeling, but how wrong it should be. He was an alpha, this was his omega. He should be getting angry that he was laid out like this, but he wasn’t. Something about the way Bucky was leaning over him, covering him with such intensity.

Tony had never felt so protected before. 

Then the fingers were gone and one of his legs was over Bucky’s shoulder. Tony grabbed at the bedsheet, the other hand grasping Bucky’s shoulder tight as he felt something harder and larger than any collection of fingers could ever feel. Tony felt the penetration, and it hurt, of course it did. The first time wasn’t perfect, but it also was so intense that Tony didn’t know how to respond. He was gasping for air, body trembling. He tried to clench his eyes closed but as Bucky kept pressing in he had to look up at him.

Bucky had that strange look of near worship he sometimes got, even when Tony didn’t really know where it came from. It was an omega look, but the full aggressiveness of it was pure Soldier. It was enough to captivate Tony, to distract him just enough for Bucky to fully enter him.

Bucky leaned in, the angle causing him to shift and Tony moaned just in time for Bucky to kiss him. Bucky said nothing, staring at Tony so strongly that it was like he was cataloging everything. And when he pulled out and thrust his hips back in, Tony could only grab on and try to ignore the high-pitched sound he made. 

From there it was, honestly, a mess of emotions and pleasure and oh dear god. Once Bucky realized that Tony was able to handle a bit more than gentle, he began thrusting hard and Tony had to hold on with a hard grip. Bucky was growling and Tony kept whining, and he wasn’t ashamed, because Bucky kept saying such wonderful things in his ear. It was aggressive, full Soldier, but the words were sweet and caring.

“Not going to stop until you come, Tony,” Bucky said. His hand was now planted on the pillow beside Tony’s head and Tony was pretty sure he was nearly bent in half. “So fucking perfect.”

He almost wanted to preen at the praise, but his body was trying to chase the orgasm that had yet to come. Bucky had him in a position where he couldn’t really do much of anything. All he could do was take what Bucky gave him. “Please, please let me-”

Bucky gave a few hard thrusts, causing Tony to let out a near wailing sound. Then Bucky stared down at him, patiently waiting despite all the pleasure for Tony to meet his eyes. “Beg.”

Tony sucked in a series of breaths, trying to remember how to actually think, because Bucky wasn’t slowing down to give him much of a chance. Then the words came naturally, “Please alpha, please. Let your alpha come. Please?”

“Oh, baby,” Bucky replied, his voice a pure, harsh growl at this point. His thrust became harder, the angle sending sparks through Tony’s system that was almost too much. “Such a good alpha. My alpha. Come on, Tony, come for me.”

Tony didn’t actually think it would work. But a few thrusts later something in his brain took over, and it was like a firework show through his whole body. Bucky had to wrap his arm around his waist just to try to keep him in place. Tony had never had such a hard orgasm and, honestly, he should have been worried about his heart. Instead, he was letting out a half-wail, half-growl sound and his whole body was jerking and Bucky just kept going. He was riding through it, like he was waiting to see Tony completely spent before coming himself.

Finally, Tony felt himself collapse, all of his muscles unable to move. He moaned, feeling Bucky still moving within him. Bucky suddenly picked up speed and fully leaned over, his thrusts in quick and short snaps of his hips. 

He felt a tongue on his bonding mark and immediately tilted his head back. He got a hard swift thrust in response, just as Bucky bit down. Tony gasped, his body almost trying to come again. But he wasn’t an omega, and he had not knotted, but god he wished he had just to feel the intensity even more.

But then he felt something against his ass. Bucky wasn’t thrusting anymore, only merely rocking his hips to draw out the last taste of his orgasm. What pressed against him was larger and more solid than just Bucky’s balls pressing against him. Distantly, his mind went back to that first doctor’s appointment. Bucky was capable of a knot. It was much smaller than a usual one, thanks to the serum messing with his body, but here was proof that he could. 

Pushing those thoughts away, he lowered his leg and tried not to wince at the overworked muscles. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s shoulders, humming when Bucky kissed the bonding mark. Tony sighed. “Sorry, I should have given yours a mate bite, too, but I was kind of in a new place.”

Bucky shifted, moving them so they would be on their sides. He looked relaxed and happy. “Don’t worry, I am fully aware you belong to me, and I to you.”

“Oh, good, so I can cuddle up to you and fall asleep. Cause, damn babe,” Tony grinned happily and gave Bucky a kiss. “I didn’t think I’d ever like that, but shit. You’re just a little too perfect.”

“Only for you,” Bucky whispered. 

*

Tony leaned against the entrance to the gym and watched as Bucky lectured Peter about caring for his own safety. Bucky was pacing, his hand clenching and tone in a growl. Peter had dived into a fight that had gotten out of hand pretty quickly the week before, and it had taken everything in Tony’s power to keep Bucky from pulling out a weapon and hunting down the gang members that had dared touched Peter.

Bucky had become extremely grumpy when Wade had showed up the next day and gleefully showed Bucky pictures of what he had done to the men that had bruised Bucky’s baby boy. Even Wade letting Bucky keep the guns Bucky had borrowed that fateful day didn’t seem to brighten Bucky’s mood, the man was so frustrated at not being able to inflict the damage himself. That didn’t stop Tony from walking in on Bucky happily cleaning them, though.

“You’re not always going to be fast, enough!” Bucky was growling, towering over Peter.

Peter had a pinched look on his face, the teen looking like he was going to cry. “But it’s my best move!”

“Then you need more moves, damn it,” Bucky snapped.

“You know, I liked you a lot better when you were more omega and not this asshole Soldier all the time,” Peter suddenly yelled. He rushed past Tony, who knew better than to follow. Peter wasn’t a big fan of having alphas hovering over him when he was feeling emotional and by the scent flowing past Tony the kid was getting close to his heat, which didn’t help matters. 

“That went well,” Tony commented.

“You’re not helping,” Bucky informed him, his shoulders slumped. “He’s going to get himself killed. If he can’t even take the time to learn basic self-defense, then it’s only a matter of time. Those injuries might have healed fast, but the next ones might not.”

“I know, babe,” Tony said, walking over so he could wrap his arms around Bucky’s waist. “I agreed to the lessons, remember?”

Bucky was silent, an odd tension to his spine. Tony pulled away and looked at him, shocked to see a sad and annoyed expression on the man's face. Bucky glanced at him and tried to blank out his expression. “It’s nothing.”

“Talk to me,” Tony said, poking Bucky’s hip and earning a small growl in response, which Tony completely ignored.

“Am I really that horrible now?” Bucky asked, looking worried.

“This is about Peter’s classic teenage drama fit before he stormed off, huh?” Tony said. “He’s just frustrated, Bucky. He still loves you.”

“Am I really that different?” Buck glared, clearly not letting the topic rest.

“Not different, really, just more.” Tony rolled his eyes, because that was a horrible way to put it. “Bucky, it’s you. And the Soldier is you, just this intense, gun happy, fuck me into the wall, and go murder people who touch your kid kind of you. You were all that before, but it was just softer and Peter saw that as a kind of model of how he could be an omega but still kick major ass, too.”

“He misses me,” Bucky said, a strange look passing over his face. “He misses being able to connect with me, if that’s what you mean.”

“Yeah,” Tony admitted.

“Do you miss me? I mean, me like that?” Bucky asked., tilting his head in curiosity.

“It’s not as hard for me to see all of you in one perfect package,” Tony admitted. “I can see the two different sides to you, clear as day, but I can also see where they blend. It’s the result of you letting me into your head so much. Do I miss you looking at me with that shy smile of yours? Yeah, I miss that, but I don’t want this pure edgy confidence to go away, either. I want everything.”

“Hedonist.”

“Uh, yeah, have you met me?” Tony replied, getting a chuckle from the man next to him.

*

Bucky watched Dr Grodin leave, feeling a strange sort of affection for the woman that felt both foreign and normal. He had to give her the admiration she deserved, as the last two sessions since Romanoff and Fury’s arrest had not been pleasant. But she never commented on his sudden change of language, the increase in foul words and aggressive stance. She took it in stride.

He wondered if maybe she deserved a raise.

They had spoken about Rebecca today. He had been afraid to go to see her, not knowing if her recent turn of health would be any better if she saw this side of her big brother. Dr Grodin encouraged him to keep writing her, though, because any communication was better than none.

The conversation had then turned to Peter.

And it was through Dr Grodin that Bucky came to the full realization that his sudden change in behavior, even if he still had some of his previous mannerisms, made Peter feel like he had lost the Bucky that had loved and cared for him. Peter no longer understood where he stood with Bucky, whether he belonged in their messed up family at all.

Bucky had tried to argue it, had even snapped pretty viciously at the psychologist, but eventually he had sat back and accepted it for what it was. His own need to protect himself had driven into hiding the parts of him that made him simply good to be around. While no one was outright saying it, everyone was holding their breath as they waited. He couldn’t shake the hold these aggressive feelings had on him, it gave him a restlessness that he remembered when he was nothing more than the Asset.

But he wasn’t the Asset anymore, was he?

A rush of determination went through him as he stood, immediately heading for the elevator. Tony was in a meeting, but he knew Peter was already in the workshop. He was going to fix this, because Bucky Barnes was not dead inside. Not like he was when he injected Steve with that drug or happily shattered Romanoff’s leg. He wasn’t void of emotion or just angry at everything. 

He was just more of all the parts he already was, and he was going to prove that to Peter whether the boy wanted it or not. He found Peter at his workstation, just as he had expected. Bucky stepped in and cleared his throat, trying to go for a more docile tone as he said, “Come with me.”

“Uhh, no, I’m okay,” Peter said nervously. The boy turned back to the screwdriver in his hands, fidgeting.

Bucky stormed forward and yanked the tool away. “Come with me, now.”

“Fine!” Peter snapped, following Bucky out of the room and down the hall. Bucky sighed, so much for being docile. Peter remained quiet until they entered the BARF room, where Peter came to a complete stop. “What are we doing in here?”

Bucky grabbed Peter’s arm, ignoring the boy’s protest and pulled him over to the computer. “Set it up.”

“Set it up?” Peter repeated, his voice squeaking at the end. 

Bucky fought down a smile, before he reached for the sensors. “You heard me.”

“I don’t know how this thing works!” Peter protested.

“Figure it out,” Bucky told him. He walked to the chair, placing the sensors on via memory as he sat. He watched Peter sit down and switch on the laptop with a defeated sound. “Stop whining.”

“I’ll stop whining when you learn to talk in full sentences,” Peter snarked back. The boy scowled when Bucky just smirked at him, before the sound of typing and Peter muttering to himself filled the room. Finally, Peter looked up. “Okay, so, uh, if you get fried and lose even more of your marbles, don’t blame me. So...do whatever it is that’s so important.”

Bucky closed his eyes, letting himself go through the pattern as though Tony was there to guide him. He picked pieces from his memories and threaded them together, creating a story, before he opened his eyes and sent the image out into the room.

He glanced from the image before them to Peter’s face, watching as Peter’s eyes widened and the boy slowly stood. Bucky bit his lip, hoping the message he was trying for went across. He might have his more pleasant feelings muted, or so he assumed by what people kept saying, but he knew how he felt about Peter Parker.

So he had thrown every memory he had of feeling like Peter was his to take care of and protect, his to love like the kid he was never going to have himself. Before them was the amused and fond look as Bucky met Peter. It kept going, from Peter curled up next to him and having fallen asleep only to shift to Bucky falling asleep as well and Tony covering them with a blanket. He got to re-witness Steve being too close to Peter as he presented and Bucky guardian over him like a lioness over her cub.

After a few moments, just as Bucky’s intense fear for Peter’s safety sent him triggering APPA, Bucky looked over to see Peter now standing next to the chair, tears in his eyes. The boy suddenly crawled onto the chair, right into Bucky’s lap, even though he was getting a bit big for it. The images of the holograph shut down as all of Bucky’s focus went to Peter and wrapping his arm around the boy’s shaking shoulders.

“Peter? What’s wrong?” Bucky demanded. “W-was that too much? I just needed you to know that even if I’m not acting like it, I love you-”

Peter lifted his head up, the tears now silently rolling down his cheeks. “You could have died. Rogers could have killed you or r-ra-hurt you really badly. I wouldn’t have you anymore. And you came back acting like-”

“Like what?” Bucky asked, managing to keep his voice soft.

“Like it didn’t matter and like you didn’t care, but not just about that,” Peter sniffed. “It’s like you don’t really care about anything. You’re just angry or grumpy and nothing else. I miss you.”

Bucky used his arm to pull Peter closer, raising his hand so that he could thread it through the boy’s hair. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t draw attention to Tony watching them. He rested his chin on Peter’s head and sighed. “It’s going to get better, okay? I’ll get better, it’s just going to take time. I showed you this so that you’d know it wasn’t gone. Sometimes I close myself off, but with you guys I have a reason to open back up.”

“Okay, I can help with that,” Peter said determinedly, letting his head rest on Bucky’s shoulder. “Thank you, for that. Oh, but not for the advice to leave Ned alone about what smell he’s been getting distracting by. I’m mad at you, because now I have to deal with Ned and Flash dating.”

“That bad, huh?” Bucky asked, chuckling.

“It’s the worst!” Peter exclaimed, cuddling closer. There was no way anyone could ever mistake Peter for anything but an omega with how he so easily accepted affection.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Tony suddenly exclaimed, walking in as though he hadn’t been standing there for the past fifteen minutes. “Why don’t I ever get invited to cuddle time?”

“It’s omega time, go away,” Peter teased. Even Bucky laughed at the faux offended look on Tony’s face.

*

“Hey, look at me,” Tony said, softly. “You don’t have to do this. The judge was okay with you being in another room via video feed or even recording your questions early. You don’t have to see him again.”

“Tony, I need to get this over with. I need to be able to, I don’t know, see it end,” Bucky said. “Romanoff and Fury? Not really a big deal for me, but this is Steve.”

“If you say ‘til the end of the line’ I am going to hit you,” Tony growled out, looking frustrated.

“Already past the end with him,” Bucky commented, before he finally grew annoyed and batted Tony’s hands away from the tie he had been forced to wear. Why, he wasn’t entirely sure. It wasn’t like a courtroom was actually going to care about what he was wearing. No, they wanted the dirty details like they were reading a trashy novel. Hell, the fewer clothes he wore the more they’d probably pay attention.

Tony let out a long, sad sigh. “I finally get you into a well made suit and this is where I have to take you.”

“It’s only two days,” Bucky replied. 

“Yeah, today’s prosecution, but tomorrow the idiots defending Rogers is going to try to manipulate your every word,” Tony said, not sounding happy at all. “It’s going to take all of me just to not blast them through the wall.”

“Tony, stop, I’m fine,” Bucky said, pulling Tony in for a kiss and smiling when Tony melted against him. “Now, let’s go. And remember we’re picking up Wanda from her lesson at that Strange guy’s place afterward.”

“I’m feeling oddly domestic,” Tony complained, letting Bucky tug him toward the elevator.

“And you’re helping Peter with his homework before dinner,” Bucky added.

“That was completely uncalled-for. Domestic and old,” Tony grumbled.

“Well, it’s catching, because I need to go to the grocery store and grab some stuff for dinner. Think the parole board would mind Wanda being my guide?” Bucky asked, kissing Tony’s temple just because he could, right before they stepped out of the elevator and into the Tower’s underground parking garage.

“Are you kidding? They cooed so much at your final emotion test panel that you could probably get away with going by yourself,” Tony laughed. “Probably shouldn’t, though. Just in case.”

Bucky stopped walking when he saw the color of the car Tony was leading him toward. “I’m not getting in a bright yellow car, Tony. Not for court.”

“Fine!” Tony said, pretending to be frustrated. He walked further down the row to a car that was, while not really a more sensible car to drive to court in, displayed in a simple forest green. Tony waited until they were inside before he shot Bucky a soft smile. “All the tests came back good, by the way. We can start the regular BARF sessions next week.”

“Why next week?” Bucky asked, blinking as Tony drove out into the New York traffic, the bright sun betraying how cold it actually was outside. 

“I kind of want to enjoy you this happy, before you get all grumpy again,” Tony admitted.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Bucky told him. “I’m feeling pretty solid these days.”

“So… does that mean I can give you your arm now?” Tony asked, shooting him a bright, hopeful grin.

“I took out how many SHIELD agents, and you still don’t think I’m capable?” Bucky asked, allowing a small chuckle.

“It’s not that! Ugh, I just know I can make it better and so much cooler than the crap you had on before,” Tony insisted. There was a pause, where Tony glanced over and scowled at Bucky’s smirk. “Fine, I’ll put in a tiny missile, how about that? Or a flamethrower!”

Bucky outright laughed, because his mate was ridiculous. “Okay, Tony, okay. I will agree to this if I’m your beta tester for some crazy new prosthetic line for your medical department. How about that? Share the love, like you’re doing with Rhodey’s braces.”

“I swear, it’s like you both are determined for me to look like a good person,” Tony grumbled, turning down the road that would lead to the courthouse. 

“Nah, we’re the good ones. We’re just hoping it rubs off on you,” Bucky informed him. 

Tony shot him a grin. “I love you, Snowflake.”

Bucky felt warmth throughout his body as he took in Tony’s smile. He hadn’t lied to Peter, it was still going to take a good while for him to be back to normal, but he felt okay for the first time in a very long time. It was all he could do to just gaze at Tony fondly, without reaching out and just taking what he wanted right then. No, there was a time and place for that. Probably a courthouse closet, now that he thought about it. He broke into a grin, getting a suspicious look from Tony in return. “Love you to, darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I don't know what to do with myself now. The plan was to end on the message of hope. Pretty sure I did that...
> 
> I think I have the writer's version of empty nest syndrome.... Empty Pages Syndrome?


End file.
